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About The west shore. (Portland, Or.) 1875-1891 | View Entire Issue (March 28, 1891)
210 THE WEST SHORE. VS iV SPATTS Let me tell you what I know. HUNKER Go ahead. It won't take so long as to tell what you don't know. " Papa, what does fee simple mean?" asked the lawyer's boy. " It means taking a fee of $5.00 for an opinion when you can just as well get $35 for it" 0 t ' - LOVE'S PARTING. We itood at the tun as the tun unk low. Beneath the hills on that summer day; On my breast lay her soft cheek, while as snow; Her breath smelted sweel at the new-mown hay. Stlenily stood 'twas the last emlirace. Lung years would pass ere we'd meet again; So I wondered not at her pallid (ace. Or Ihe tears which fell like cry stal rain. lake golden arrows glanced the faint sunshine. Mid the quiv'nng meshes of her hai.-; While she turned her soft, brown eyes to mine. 1 read Ihe love whk-h was written there. 1 see her bathed in the crimson flood, 1 see her peacefully standing now, As I stroked her neck while she chewed her cud I see her yet that Alilemey cow. Jt.is I.A Kt'st Blss:rr. ; TOO LIKE. Sc'RIHHLER Some of my work is rather like Tennyson, don't you think ? IIronsi N Yes, indeed ; in some lines you haven changed a word. AN IRREVERENT YOUTH. THE RESULT OF ANGLING. Bloohimrf.R Fishing was the favorite amuse ment in King David's time. Indeed, I may say that it was well nigh universal. FosuiCK I didn't know that. Bl.oobTMPF.R Yes j you will remember that David gave k as his opinion that all men are liars. mam Moneybags, Sr. My son, if you con tinue your dissijuted life you will bring down my gray hairs to the grave. Moneybags, J R. Come, now father, youVe been bald tin long to talk like that ALL THE SAME. Dashaway You see that fellow over there. Every week the poor devil comes around and borrows a quarter, and I haven't the heart to refuse him. Trayers Ha, ha! Well there's no ac counting for human nature, b there? Poor wretih! lty the way, okl nun, can you spare me a " V until Satunl.iv ? CosiHTToR or Street Car (pit-king up a coin) Has any gentleman dropped I coin? Churi'S or Passengers Yes! Yes! I have! CuM'l'iTOR Was it a $$.oogokl piece? CtitiRt s or Passengers Yes! Yes? It was! ConiH'CTor (displaying the coin Well, then, I guess this $10 gold piece donl belong to any of you, and 111 keep it. HE HAD BEES THERE. Miss REiiMirc (who is looking for her sphere! Ah. Mr. Brin dle. you have never known what it is to feel your way cautiously, hesi tating, trembling with anxiety at every step. Mr. Brisiii.k Oh. yes; 1 was trout-led with corns for nearly two years. HE WAS SATISFIED. Mrs. Henpeck Here you are again, Mr. Hen peck, coming home at one o'clock in the morning in this disgraceful condition. I simply can't tell you w hat I think of your conduct. Mr. Henpeck Then, m'dear, don' (hie) try k. Gazzam Why do you call this a sacred concert, Beerlat? It seems to me that all the pieces on the programme are secular. Beeflat Yes, but there are just seven of them. Gazzam What of that? Beeflat Why, seven used to be the great sacred number in ancient times. SHE WAS TRAVELING ALL ALONE. She was a maid with rosy cheeks, Her eyes as bright as stars, And she sat alone in one of the seats Of one of the railway cars. There came a dnimmer passing through, With gripsack in his hand, Whose cheek showed large, as it alwas does, In the face of a " traveling man." Of course he spied the vacant seat, And asked, in his sweetest tone, " Is this seat engaged? " " o, sir," she said. " I'm traveling all alone." " With your permission, then," said he, 1 And his eyes his wish implied; Then she made room and he sat down, Close by the fair maid's side. The maid at first was very shy. But that soon wore away; Then his tongue Hew and her tongue, too, For they had so much to say. But all good things must end at last. " My station." said she; " good night." One minute more and she had gone Forever from his sight. The drummer sought Ihe smoking car. To smoke and grieve alone; And when he looked to see the lime He found his watch was gone. Frank Marion. YE ANCIENT MAID. So trippingly a maiden fair Came blithely down the crowded street. A Psvche knot confined her hair. While Paris shoes pinched light her feet, A Cleopatra gown she wore. And round her slender, wasp-like waist Was sacred snake from Nik-s green shore; While Cupid s bow at thmat was placed. A Juno laid no doubt she fell. As through the stanng crowd she swept; Hut more she seemed like fowls that dwell In that great tenir Janus kept. VUI.L. You look thoughtful," remarked the Kin brush to the mirror. " Yes," replied the mirror ; " I am reflecting" Manager (to ambitious debutante) You have youth and good looks, but before you can become an actress you have a great deal to learn. IHhtntante In what particulars am I deficient ? Manager Well you can't dance and you are modest. 0 -, '3i mil kit A-' m. i s.- i'.ll? N "I I'V J rr? . . . Us. 1 h.-i v'r is;:1 fA Vviii Mrs. I-arkis 1 fondly i-(ieorge. dear, you used to tell me that you thought of nw every minute of the day, and thai you loved me nwt than a world full of gold and diamonds. You don I tcD me lh.it now. Urvis-No. Yoj see 1 have Joined the church since (Sen.