194
THE WEST SHORE.
to educate his immense auditory in the principles of liberty and justice for all
the people is sufficient commendation for even the speech of a Garrison. f
Several women preachers occupied the boards at various stages of the
meetings i also women lawyers, professors, journalists and physicians, all of
whom made pleasing, argumentative and truly womanly speeches, any of
which would do honor to the best and wisest statesmen who command the
" applause of listening senates," could they be heard, as some day they surely
will be, in the nation's council chambers as the political peers of men.
Abigail Scott Duniway.
BACK IN KANSAS.
Come
LUMBERMAN Drown, you must be tired living in a dugout.
around and let me sell you a bill of lumber.
SETTLER I don't need any lumber nowj I have the finest buildings on
my claim outside of Garden City.
LUMBERMAN How's that?
Settler Last night we had a cyclone, and this morning I found a
$10,000 house on my claim all ready to move into.
PLEASED WITH IT.
HlLLBOAKI) Do you know whether the manager has read my tragedy
or not.
Hoy Yes, sir. He it reading it now.
HlLLBOAKI) How do you know he is?
Hoy Can't you hear him laughing in the next room ?
A FAIR PHO'KXikAPHKK.
Fair Phyllis and a clnoire
Of Hymen writ one (lay
Kiigageft in conversation free
AIhiui hotunihy;
mm
jA 17?' .JV JIMI .
They talked the subject o'er and o'er,
Discussing every part
Thai smacked of scientific lore;
Twos such a pretty art.
" Well, Jack," exclaimed the winsome lass,
" Although I do not know
Much of photographers, I'd puss
For one don't you think tot
I have a Kodak neat and new,
Of very Luet nuke,
And I can operate it, too
I.rt'i see, what shall I take?"
This was a golden chance for Jack
(Who'd loved her long and well);
He seiied her hand and with a whack
L'pnn his knees he felt;
He guxed into her aiure eyes,
Hold Chesterfield was he,
And whispered soft between his sighs,
" 0, love, why not lake me?"
" Well. Jack," quoth this shrewd little maid,
llien slyly shook her head,
" I'm not quite sure, hut I'm afraid
'Twoukl be real hard," she said;
" I'd find a subject hard, 'lis true.
Although I d gUilly give
My time develop ng for you
A first rate negative! "
SsOTHlVilJ 'l"rf -lv. V,;'.
Wash House Piohhiktor No givee tlicket.
Snobmin Why not give a tickel?
Wash Houss Proprietor Me washee one time, shirtee all gone.
IT WAS ENOUGH.
Young Poet (timidly entering the sanctum) I have a poem here
called " When the Birdlings Come Again." What will you give me?
Editor (savagely) I will give you just one minute.
IT WENT AGAINST HIM.
Customer Barber, I don't like that nuor you are using on my lace.
Barber What's the trouble with it?
Customer It goes against me in some way.
NO TIME TO LOSE.
First Reporter Don't stop me. I have just been writing up the
home life of a great author.
Second Reporter What's your hurry?
First Reporter I am going to break off my engagement.
SHE UNDERSTOOD HIM.
Wife Every time you go to the theater I wish you would bring me
home the programme.
Husband The great trouble is I never can remember it.
Wife Oh, very well. I suppose it is asking too much. Just think,,
you would have to go to the theater to get it.
THE REAL TROUBLE.
DashawaY After last night's experience I shall never take a girl to
the theater again.
Clevfrton Why, wasn't the play good? I've heard the leading
man was splendid.
Dasiiaway That's just the trouble. She never took her eyes
oft him the hole evening.
(iRIZl Y I got a new type writer today.
Johnson How much did it cost you?
C.RII.Y I don't know yet. She's only been there one day,,
and I don't know whether her mind rims to candy or bonnets.
II K (nrruuding her to eloe) Do not hesitate, darling your
father will soon forgive yon s he only objects to me because of my
poverty. How I wish the situation were reversed 1 at the top of the
Udder, he at the foot.
OLD Man (chuckling to himself behind lite portiere) New
mind, young nun, I'll be at the foot of the ladder all right enough.