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About The west shore. (Portland, Or.) 1875-1891 | View Entire Issue (March 7, 1891)
THE WEST SHORE. 157 THE WIDOW AMl. Oh, in her sable garments the widow looked a queen, For beauty in its sorrow is beauty's crown, 1 ween; The rosy pallor of her cheeks, in all their tender glow, Was like a purple sunset upon a drift of snow; And in her weeping eyes of blue such weird emotions lay Such somber depths of sadness, and shadows dim and grey That you would fancy she had lost poor, hapless Leonore Not one de-.tr lord and master, but twenty-five or more. She ran to me she rushed to me with all her youth and gold, And, in soft, pleading accents, she asked to be consoled. There was, she gasped, a vacant place upon her heart's throne still That somebody, if he knew how, could take by storm and fill. Well, I knew how, for grasping both her jeweled hands in mine, I quaffed from those rie lips of hers a vintage rich as wine! And while 1 lore the w idow's serge right oft her queenly head, And told her that a living spouse was belter than a dead, She leant upon my bosom in tremulous surprise, And sorrow's shadows vanished from the blue depths of her eyes. Today the ragman purchased the sable weeds I sold, And now I own the w idow the widow and her gold. Kit.knk Davis. IN THE NATURAL HISTORY CLASS. TEACHER Now, Johnnie Barrows, you may tell me what is the strong est of all the animals. J. B. Please 'm, the skunk. FILL HIM FULL. Mrs. LaRKIN Here's a paper which says, "The burglar should not be turned away empty." Larkin That's right. Fill him with lead. A LITTLE GIRL'S IDEA. Gentleman Visitor (to best girl's little sister) Your sister lets me kiss her. Now won't you let me kiss you? Little Sister (loftily) No ; I don't allow all the gentlemen to kiss me, as sister does. There's a great difference in people, you know. First Newspaper Man I see it stated that Russell Sage makes it a rule not to lend over $500,000 in a day. - Second- Newspaper Man Well, what of it? I have the same rule myself. HE WAS A TRAITOR. " I denounce Squigley as a spy 1 " exclaimed a socialist orator, referring to a fellow member. I have the damaging proof right here ! " " What is it ? " yelled his hearers. "A wash bill!" INCONSISTENCY. Mr. GROWLER (to wife) No wonder we have ruinous gas bills. I have just counted sixteen burners going full blast in this house. (Leaves the room and returns in great excitement). Say, Maria, who in thunder turned out that light in the smoking room? A (TASK SIIAVK. Van IH iikk No human being It entirely without a mind, don't you know, Miss Amy. Amy No; but It's wonderful to see hownmaiingly near some people come to it. A THEATRICAL SENSATION. Footi.YTES Have you seen Miss I)e Noodc in her new play? Firstnvtes Yes, and I tell you it is great. She outstrips all her pre vious efforts. Footlytes What a sensation she must create ! MORE MONEY IN IT. " My son," said the dying saloon keeper, "don't continue this business. The competition is so brisk that it doesn't pay any longer, " Hut what shall I do for a living?" " You had better be a temperance lecturer 1 they make about $1 50 a night. 4V THE STUFFED PROPHET AGAIN. Grizzly A Cincinnati butcher has made a fortune out of stuffed sausages. He calls them the " Cleveland." Johnson Why so? GRIZZLY Because they are his stuffed profit. RKAI. 1.IFK. It is when men a-drinking go ' And homeward steel With steps uncertain, that they know This life Is ml. A TENDENCY TO MENDACITY. Gimp There's a great deal of fiction in the newspapers nowadays. Gummey So! , Gimp Yes t here's a column of stuf) headed " Police Intelligence." fl 1113 : , iiTv V'.Wu'.m ' -i T.-b-TI U .-- : U A- '! I ' I ft . ft 1 i,m am Sistkh Nki.1. Dubby, did you go to the door last night when Mr. James and Mr. Wilson came to nuke their party call Bov Yep. SlSTtia NKI.I.-Whal did they say when you told them I Has at the theater? Bohm Mr. James, he said, " In luc again, that makes three; " and Mr. Wilson said, " We daun t try any more of 'em; let's go down town and have some fun." " llo you love me yet," she said, ' As when we first were wed ? "Sty, dear "her eyes were wet " Tell me you love me yet." " 1 wonder where you get " Such notions queer," he sighed ; " Why, yes. I love you yet yet yet " Anil she was satisfied. K. H. WOULDN'T BUS ON THE AVENUE. Younu New Yorker (walking on Fifth avenue with pretty country cousin) I'm awfully warm, Mary I Let's lake a bus. Pretty Cousin (blushing sweetly) Oh, George, some one would be sure to see us here on the avenue. Pl.-ase be piutrnt till we get to the park. A CONFUSION OF PROFESSIONS. Tom What are you driving at now, Jack? Jack I am studying in the office of lllerdetn & Killem. Tom Oh ! Going to be a lawyer? Jack No. Doctor.