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About The west shore. (Portland, Or.) 1875-1891 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 25, 1890)
A NARROW ESCAPE.
Hid by the overshadowing trees
The moon shone bright above ;
The spirit of the gentle breeie
Seemed whispering ol lore.
Along the dusky forest way,
Where no one else was nigh,
We wandered she was fair as day
A lucky man was I.
Upon the morrow we must part;
I'd known her but a week,
And yet, the feelings of my heart
My tongue could scarcely speak.
I took her little hand methought
A tear stood in her eye ;
My soul with rapture was o'erwrought
A lucky man was I.
Then Cupid's prompting made me bold,
With deep emotion stirred
My ardent tale of love I told,
And asked for just one word
One little word in answer so
This maiden sweetly shy
Murmured In tender accents " No! "
A lucky man was I.
R. H. TlTHBRINGTON,
ENTITLED TO A PASS.
President X. M. T. R. R. (hanghtily)-Who is this
James W. Bungstarter who wants a pus?
Pkiyate Secretary Great capitalist ol Sheboygan
president of the Knocash Natural Sand Bank lessee of
F resident (hastily) Send him an annual. I thought
he was some poor devil who couldn't pay his way.
'TWAS EVER THUS.
Mr. O'Brien (eloquently soliciting subscriptions from
the crowd for a hospital) I tell you, gentlemen, the one
who will not put his hand in his pocket to help the poor,
the maimed, the halt and the blind (To man with one
leg and one arm, supplicating alms) What's that? Con
found you, don't interrupt me I Oat out 1
Snooper Let us take a Wagner sleeper, my dear.
Mrs. Snooper 0, Wagner 's too noisy for me. Let
us take a Pullman.
Mrs. Fanulk (looking up from the paper) I wonder
what air brakes are used for.
Mrs. Dense To stop windmills, I suppose.
" Is he a hard man to get along with?"
" Hard ? Why, even the air hereabouts doesn't agree
" Beg pardon, sir, but haven't you forgotten
something? " said the waiter to the guest who was
" 0, yes, my umbrella! Thanks, awfully."
A double shuffle Two suicides.
A clog A fish bone In the throat,
A serio-comic An effort to sneese.
A call before the curtain Supe I
Siayute My favorite flower, Miss Amy, is the night-blooming cereus.
Miss Amy Indeed, Mr. Staylatel I thought It would probably be the
McCorki.1 (looking at the individual leaning against the lamp post)
That man has a queer name Triangle.
Mi-Crackle It is appropriate, though. He is a rye-tangled Triangle.
HE KNEW HE WAS.
" He isn't capable of a civil action."
" 0, yes he is. He has just brought a suit against me In a civil court."
Mahkl That Young Mr. Wacker is Sue's Bteady company now, Is he
Amy Not very he drinks so much, you know.
HOW MR. BUMPERS GOT INTO TROUBLE.
William Bumpers Maw, was yon ever an actress?
Mrs. Bumpers (bridling) The ideal Certainly notl
W. Bumperb Then why did yon dress like a ballet girl?
Mrs. Bumpers (amaied) I never did I What's got into the boy ?
W. Bumpers-Well, paw's got a photograph of a ballet girl and
when I caught him looking at It he said it was your picture.
Mrs. Bumpers (with deadly calm) Oh, yes, to be sure. William,
tell your paw I want to speak to him.
Mrs. Gakiam You remember young Mr. Eastlske, don't you?
Mr. Gaixam He was sent to the penitentiary, wasn't he?
Mrs. Gazzam-0, no; be was called to the pastorate of Die Oakvills
Presbyterian church two years ago.
Mr. Gaiiam-O, yes; I remember him well. I knew It was some
thing of that kind.
CuMso-Hello, Staggers I I haven't seen you for a year. By the
way, I heard you had taken a wife.
Staggers (gloomily) No; she has taken me.
" What large house I" exclaimed Mr. Crosscut, glancing around
" Yes," asserted his wife; " but then It has to be a large bouse to
hold so many psople."
w 1 mmm
" That's a Verestchagtn," remarked one visitor to another in the Portland
exposition art gallery.
" So It Is," was the reply, " very shocking, Indeed. It's a shame the hang
ing committee passes such pictures."