WEST SHORE. 102 LOVE'S LABOR LOST. At the lattice Cecil stands, Mute ta marble itatue is she; Moves she not her clasped bands,' Speaks she not in rapture freely. Sway the flimsy curtains (ro In the night wind's soft vibration, While from shadowed depths below Floats a rhythmic undulation. Star-like eyes like fire halls glisten, Ruby lips in accents meeting ; Pearly ears strain hard to listen To love's sweet, poetic greeting. " Will you walk into my spider? " said the cook unto the fry. High water-two and a half a month for the house and extra for bath and hose. Sportsman Son, is there any hunt ing around here? Johnny HAVSSED-lep, you can hunt, but dad won't allow no shootin' on this place. Chicago's site troubles would have been over long ago if she had offered a beer front instead of a cold water front. "Well, I never 1" cried the Puritan girl when the wine came around. " Well, I do," replied her escort, and did. First Mosquito Who la that bald headed man over there? Second Mosquito 0, he's a drummer, and he haa been giving me a great fill. Husband Maria, this stair bannister al ways reminds me of you. Maria (tartly) Doubtless because it is needed to keep you straight. UitsHANi) No; it's because it's forever railing. A STRONG RESEMBLANCE. Mrs. Gaoam So many people say that Tommy looks so murk like his father. Do yon think so? Mrs. Fancii.i Yea, Indeed I He's a chip of the old blockhead. Deep the flush o'erspreads her face As again the clear notes swelling, Like angelic songs of grace Fissioned words of love are telling. Does she draw the wrapper quick 'Round her throbbing breast, I won der? Nay, she only drops a brick On the felines raising thunder. Jean La Rub Burnett. NOT RIGHT. Goblin I wondah why Gurley always calls bis sweetheart "Dovey," doncher know. Doi.i.kv I expect It's because she's pigeon-toed. HIS REASON. " Why do you refer to that pe'ambu lating spiritualist as 'Money?' Is it because she talks so much? " " No; it is because she is a circulating medium." MISUNDERSTOOD. Dkaf Old Lady (in streetcar accident, excitedly) 0, sir, can you tell me what has happened? Pious Gknti.kman Pray calm yourself, madam; remember that a kind heaven bends over all. Deaf Old Lady (to female companion) Martha Jane, what's this old fool sayin' to me about men's overalls? WHAT TO DO WITH CONUNDRUMS. Amy I hear that young Mr. Silver is engaged to Miss EaBtlake. Mabel (who wanted him herself) So I hear. I could never understand Mr. Silver. He waa always a conundrum to me. Amy (maliciously) Is that the reason yon gave him np? A GROUNDLESS FEAR. A maiden fair of twenty years waa single, she averred, Because a man snaps up his wife if she but speak a word; But now she's almost thirty-five, hunts tea grounds in her cup, And tho' she's smiled and angled oft no man has snap'd her np. H. L. W. " It's beastly weather I " " Yes; it's raining cat and dogs." - rater Mammy Hut Dar she am now, my 111 gal; brtas 'er hones. I'koli Mom Youa bettah breaa 'er flwb If you wanU hit to do 'er any good, Mammy Sue, 'deed you do. IT PROBABLY WAS. Mr. Nellson, while making himself agreeable to Misa Nel lie, overhears the following embarrassing conversation In a corner: Johnny I say his nose it out of Joint I Kitty I say it isn't-it'a as straight as can be. JoiiNNY-But I tell you it u. Because last night when Mr. Gold called on sister Nell, Aunt Em said : " Humph I Mr. Nellson 's nose U out of joint now 1 " I heard her as plain as day. BELINDY 'N' ME. Belindy V me've bin quar'lin' about them " wimmin'a righto." She's in fer wearin' breeches, V when I kicks she flghto. I've often told Belindy that 'twouldn't never do This tamal caterwaulin' made both o' us feel blue; But when I strikes an argyment that downs hern, don't yer see, Belindy gits 'er dander up V makes it hot fer me. Now, Belindy ain't cranky she ain't put np that way But when 't comes ter wimmin's righto she's bound t' have 'er say. 'N' I'm so pesky sartin 'n' stubborn ei mule, That she is alius callin' me a scramblin', Ign'mt fool. I tell ye, 'tisn't funny when us two disagree, Cm Belindy gits 'er dander np 'n' makes it hot fer me. Lae' we struck a bargain, ter quit them ign'rnt flghto. Belindy said she'd make a stop in talkin' wimmin'i rights, 'N' I said I'd buy 'er a seven dollar shawl If we'd agree till Chrls'mae, V wouldn't pull V haul. Yes, we've bin livin happy since, ei happy ei can be, Cui she don't git 'er dander up 'n' make it hot fer me. Frank 0. Tick.