WEST SHORE.
102
LOVE'S LABOR LOST.
At the lattice Cecil stands,
Mute ta marble itatue is she;
Moves she not her clasped bands,'
Speaks she not in rapture freely.
Sway the flimsy curtains (ro
In the night wind's soft vibration,
While from shadowed depths below
Floats a rhythmic undulation.
Star-like eyes like fire halls glisten,
Ruby lips in accents meeting ;
Pearly ears strain hard to listen
To love's sweet, poetic greeting.
" Will you walk into my spider? " said
the cook unto the fry.
High water-two and a half a month
for the house and extra for bath and hose.
Sportsman Son, is there any hunt
ing around here?
Johnny HAVSSED-lep,
you can hunt, but dad
won't allow no shootin'
on this place.
Chicago's site troubles would have been
over long ago if she had offered a beer
front instead of a cold water front.
"Well, I never 1" cried the Puritan
girl when the wine came around.
" Well, I do," replied her escort, and
did.
First Mosquito Who la that bald
headed man over there?
Second Mosquito 0, he's a drummer,
and he haa been giving me a great fill.
Husband Maria, this stair bannister al
ways reminds me of you.
Maria (tartly) Doubtless because it is
needed to keep you straight.
UitsHANi) No; it's because it's forever
railing.
A STRONG RESEMBLANCE.
Mrs. Gaoam So many people say that
Tommy looks so murk like his father. Do
yon think so?
Mrs. Fancii.i Yea, Indeed I He's a chip
of the old blockhead.
Deep the flush o'erspreads her face
As again the clear notes swelling,
Like angelic songs of grace
Fissioned words of love are telling.
Does she draw the wrapper quick
'Round her throbbing breast, I won
der? Nay, she only drops a brick
On the felines raising thunder.
Jean La Rub Burnett.
NOT RIGHT.
Goblin I wondah why Gurley always
calls bis sweetheart "Dovey," doncher
know.
Doi.i.kv I expect It's because she's
pigeon-toed.
HIS REASON.
" Why do you refer to that pe'ambu
lating spiritualist as 'Money?' Is it
because she talks so much? "
" No; it is because she is a circulating
medium."
MISUNDERSTOOD.
Dkaf Old Lady (in streetcar accident,
excitedly) 0, sir, can you tell me what
has happened?
Pious Gknti.kman Pray calm yourself,
madam; remember that a kind heaven
bends over all.
Deaf Old Lady (to female companion)
Martha Jane, what's this old fool sayin'
to me about men's overalls?
WHAT TO DO WITH CONUNDRUMS.
Amy I hear that young Mr. Silver is engaged to Miss
EaBtlake.
Mabel (who wanted him herself) So I hear. I could
never understand Mr. Silver. He waa always a conundrum
to me.
Amy (maliciously) Is that the reason yon gave him np?
A GROUNDLESS FEAR.
A maiden fair of twenty years waa single, she averred,
Because a man snaps up his wife if she but speak a word;
But now she's almost thirty-five, hunts tea grounds in her cup,
And tho' she's smiled and angled oft no man has snap'd her np.
H. L. W.
" It's beastly weather I "
" Yes; it's raining cat and dogs."
- rater
Mammy Hut Dar she am now, my 111 gal; brtas 'er hones.
I'koli Mom Youa bettah breaa 'er flwb If you wanU hit to do
'er any good, Mammy Sue, 'deed you do.
IT PROBABLY WAS.
Mr. Nellson, while making himself agreeable to Misa Nel
lie, overhears the following embarrassing conversation In a
corner:
Johnny I say his nose it out of Joint I
Kitty I say it isn't-it'a as straight as can be.
JoiiNNY-But I tell you it u. Because last night when Mr. Gold
called on sister Nell, Aunt Em said : " Humph I Mr. Nellson 's nose U
out of joint now 1 " I heard her as plain as day.
BELINDY 'N' ME.
Belindy V me've bin quar'lin' about them " wimmin'a righto."
She's in fer wearin' breeches, V when I kicks she flghto.
I've often told Belindy that 'twouldn't never do
This tamal caterwaulin' made both o' us feel blue;
But when I strikes an argyment that downs hern, don't yer see,
Belindy gits 'er dander up V makes it hot fer me.
Now, Belindy ain't cranky she ain't put np that way
But when 't comes ter wimmin's righto she's bound t' have 'er say.
'N' I'm so pesky sartin 'n' stubborn ei mule,
That she is alius callin' me a scramblin', Ign'mt fool.
I tell ye, 'tisn't funny when us two disagree,
Cm Belindy gits 'er dander np 'n' makes it hot fer me.
Lae' we struck a bargain, ter quit them ign'rnt flghto.
Belindy said she'd make a stop in talkin' wimmin'i rights,
'N' I said I'd buy 'er a seven dollar shawl
If we'd agree till Chrls'mae, V wouldn't pull V haul.
Yes, we've bin livin happy since, ei happy ei can be,
Cui she don't git 'er dander up 'n' make it hot fer me.
Frank 0. Tick.