70
WEST SHORE.
fTPORWOMpiV
" - i-
BY CUA HIGM'NSON.
10 IX
gwMt m the ioldw hontfiaokle't butt,
Trtmnloai M bebe'e lit curled mart i
ylr u niirlM, or rou tbliw.
Or bluehei that Mrott para obwk Heme ;
Htrunf w the to, firm u furnace glow ;
Pun h whit flow'r aoariehed in the enow
lteeoul it heeVa, ud Lon-trne U?e-iU Mine.
It wu at a picnic. It wu a good many year ago, I am happy to lay,
when I wu bubbling over wilb youth and spirits, and fancied that the only
possible reason God had put me upon this earth was tint I should make
others laugh and have a gojd time generally. I had, in fact, grown quite
arrogant upon this subject, and, If people didn't laugh just when I thought
they should, I said something so outrageously funny that they had to laugh.
You see, like some of us older ones, I was bound to keep my reputation. I
was the center of an admiring group of a doien; yes, it certainly was an
admiring group, and yet, so far, I had failed to make them as hilarious as
nsual, and I was growing desperate. There was no rue talking; I must say
something and say It soon, too. My opportunity came. .
" Mra. DeUng," began a young woman, " suggested a while ago"
" Mrs. DeUng! " Interrupted I, as a happy thought struck me. " 0,
la that the woman wilb the freckles all over her nose? "
I said it with all the unconscious innocence of a lamb, and, ill-bred,
Ill-natured and utterly odious as the remark was, I fully expected that they
would die of laughter. But, no I I saw instantly that It had fallen flat. A
gasp and a shiver passed over all those faces ; then some turned ashen, and
some scarlet, and every eye sought the ground. In some consternation I
turned me alwut, and please try to imagine my conflicting emotions upon
discovering that I was " cheek by jowl " with Mrs. DeUng. We eyed each
other silently. The first thing that I became conscious of in that truly
awful moment was that the freckles upon the lady's nose seemed to have
suddenly grown larger ; they were like drops of blood on the floor when you
have murdered somebody I couldn't remove my eyes from them. To
make my feeling more lacerated, I realiiml that staring straight at her now
In that fashion was adding insult to injury. Then I discovered that she
waa looking meditatively at my nose, and I recalled that its shape was not
lovely and that, indeed, it was not altogether guilt lees of freckles itself.
Next I became aware that the first consternation among my companions
had given place to violent and poorly concealed mirth. I never saw so
many fans, kerchiefs, parasols and hat-brims called into play before or
since, and, catching a side glimpse of them, I waxed exceeding wroth. It
waa detestably ill-bred of them, I thought, to turn tall In that way and
leave me to get out of my " scrape "yea, I thought " 'rape " and I meant
" acraM "the best way I could. I gave them one look of mingled rage
and reproach, which almost sent some of them Into convulsions. All this
while I waa aware that Mrs. Del.ang was taking stock of my attractions,
and each (reckle on my own nose multiplied itself into a doien. Her look
made me think of the time a dear friend rubM ammonia on the back of
my bodice to coax out a grease spot I couldn't gel away from it. Wherever
I went the ammonia followed and so It waa with her look ; it was like a
half-good and halMiad man's conscience I Finally it occurred to me that I
ought to say something ; so I called up a sickly smile, and I said
" Nice day, Mrs. Deljuig! " and I made three) gasps at her name
before I could pronounce it.
" A line day," replied the lady, with Die sweetest smile I ever saw on
human lace; " 0, a loivy day, and one which I shall always remember. I
have the deepest admiration for refined, considerate and well-bred people;
therefore, I can new forget the day that brought me the exquisite pleasure
of meeting you," and she put the pronoun in " small caps," too.
So, now, If any woman, young or old, thinks it wise to be funny at the
expense of some one's feelings, I wish her God speed and as severe a snub
bing as I received.
Kliiahelh Stuart Phelps (Mra. Ward) found a hornet's nest which she
thought needed investigation ; so, womanlike, she Investigated. Then she
put her pan Into that hornet's nest perhaps a trills farther than was abso
lutely necessary or than alia at first Intended and, lot with a flu, and
a whir, and a flutter, out came the hornets little and big, venomous and
gentle, rraiy and reasonable, vicious and kind-and they have been out
vex since. I have noticed that the big, the venomous, the craiy and the
vicious species art in the vast majority, which is to be regretted. I am
sorry to come down to sense that noble, true woman like Mrs. Ward
, , ni imorant." and " provincial." I think our
8hould be called umph, ' "V, he. 8he mw have
world would be improved Dy f3n of language, but, perhaps, If .he had
been unneceasar ly bar. .ml . r J 'ave 1' Whether
-"1 or whether they devour her
Jlrs. n ara siauu s mMt do wme j,
Si hav paid no attention to the thrust; hornete are usuaHy peaceable
S , make them mad, and it is the truth that stings, and hurts, and
us downright mad. Do not tell us that women have , a ways worn
in "n gowns; weknowtbat. But even Eve was persuaded tha nud.ty
la, Tot proper or desirable in all times and all places. And while as I
rZ said tofore-I think the nude feminine form, white, pure sacred, the
most beautiful thing on earth, I do not believe that women ahoud expose
that beauty to the eyes of men who have not one pure or reveren thought
-and we all know that there are many such men in all grades of nasty.
To roll the collar or gown slightly away from a soft, lovely throat give, a
vision of modest, womanly beauty more ravishing and in far better taste,
than to wear what is known as a low-cut gown. However, I suspect that It
was not so much Mrs. Ward's remonstrance as the bitter, vehement lan
guage in which that remonstrance was couched which so Incensed the hor
nets. Still, the sting of truth did its share, also. As for the wine drinking,
whether the young man who declared that he often danced with young
women who were " too far gone " to talk, told the truth or only wished to
make a sensation, there is this much about it : No woman should drink so
much as one glass of wine when in company with men, whether at dinner,
ball, or elsewhere, unless she is so addicted to it. use that she know, she
will not feel its effects. This is awfully old-fashioned, but it is a safe rule
to follow. I have seen the purest women, after drinking one glass of wine,
lean back in their chairs in languor and lassitude, with a feverish flush in
their cheeks and a hsiy shitting of their eyes ; and I have noticed a rillineu
In their laugh that made one turn away in shamed pity of it.
I shudder when I ponder upon the final judgment of the man who,
when he hears that a fellow man has gone astray, shrugs his shoulders and
sneers, " Fool I " Who, when he hears that another has encountered a ter
rible temptation, resisted until nature herself gave out, exhausted, and then,
at the very last, has yielded to it and plunged headlong into forbidden
pleasures, again hisses, " Fool ! " Who, when he hears that another is the
victim of some terrible passibn, burning, unconquerable, stronger than
death itself, and before which, one day, he sinks like a beast on the plain,
he cries out only, " Fool I " I pity the heart that never aches and the eyes
that never grow wet at the tale of another's downfall or ruin, while I think
there is something brutal and inhuman about one who can sneer at a long,
terrible struggle between the body and the soul. And I have more respect
for the man who, having sinned, flees and give, tip everything, letting all
know his dishonor, than I have for the man who sin. and wear, a mask
through which the eye. of the world can not pierce. Yet this same world
calls the latter an " upright man " and the former a " fool." Some of you
" upright " ones be careful how you sneer at the " fool."
Miss Mattie Shaw lately graduated In pharmacy at Laming, Michigan,
at the head of a class of 104 students, of which only four were women. Out
of 3,000 pharmacists who have passed their examination in that state, only
twenty have had over ninety per cent, as she did. I am specially inter
ested In young women who are making a study of pharmacy. I know that
they may make a success of it if they firmly make up their minds to do so,
and I should think the proprietor of any drug store would, at least, be will
ing to give them a fair trial, because if the average masculine diug clerk
Isn't a failure dien there is no such thing as a failure on earth. The truth
is, the competent and reliable and desirable drug clerks In the west are as
scarce as blue roses. I,et us give the women a chance at the prescription..
" O, those delicious thimbleberries! " exclaimed a lady at a picnic out
in the deep woods the other day. " Howl wish I had some! " A gentleman
of the party immediately scrambled after them, through briar, and over
log., bringing several berries back in triumph. But the lady was wearing
very light and delicate gloves, and no sooner did he see her doubtful glance
at her hands than he stooped and plucked a smooth, satiny leal, into whose
crinkled heart he poured the berries, and hanJed them-vividly scarlet
agamst the pale green of the leaf-to her. Now, I call that a delicate and
charming attention. He was not a dude, but a good, aensible business man.
It was a trithng episode, if you will, but, between you and me, there is not
one man in a hundred who would have thought of it.
Some neop!, do not Ulk much because they are wise; other, because
they desire to appear wise.