1)92 WEST
SHORE.
It is easy enough for a musician to get the right pitch for
his tune if his voice has good timbre.
, im m it i ir
" Good morning ! Have yon used Hair's soap ? "
" In union there is strength," murmured the druggist, as he
stirred vigorously at a mixture of asafoctida and gall.
Mrs. Tangle What does " original sin " mean, Henry?
Mr. Taxole Well, I believe the original sin was apple
stealing.
" There is something about a flower" said the poet, dream
ily, as he laid a reverent band on the flaming poppy, and
just then a bee emerged from the blossom and proved it in a
most pointed manner.
Haybeed Why, what in the world has happened to you?
You look all broke up.
Bi'ohmeb Yes, I have been taking too violent exercise.
Haybkkd In what way?
Bugiimer Tried to jump a claim in Idaho.
First Broker Are you in favor of a combine?
. Second Broker No, my boy. I've been a party to three
rings this year, and
First Broker Got left?
Second Broker Yes. And the girl kept the ring every
time.
A DISTANT RELATIVE.
Sick Man (making his will) I have no near relatives. I
have a brother.
Lawyer Brother 1 Isn't he a near relative ?
Sick Man No, sir. He lives in Australia.
THE KANSANS WOULD RUSH HERE.
GRizzLY-Portland didn't show up very big in the census,
but I know of a scheme to treble its population before the next
one is taken.
Joiinhon What's your plan?
Grizzly To sell beer here at two cent? a pint.
DONE HIM UP.
Lawyir (in justice's court)-Now, young lady, you may
take the stand.
Lady Yes, sir, with pleasure.
Man (in a whisperJ-There, that does me up. She's my
wife and she's forty-nine years old, but the sugar on that law
yer's tongue will cost me $75 for millinery before the end of the
month.
BOUND BY A HAIR.
Amy I don't see what attraction Sue finds in Mr. Dolley.
Mabel Capillary attraction.
Amy How's that?
Mabel She's fascinated by his mustache.
IT PROVED USEFUL.
Hobbon Hello, Stryker, where are you going?
Strykeb To the races. I've got a dead sure tip for to-day,
and I'm taking a trunk with me to bring my winnings home.
Hobbon (meeting Strjker next day) Well, did you have
use for that trunk?
Stryker I did. I borrowed enough money on it to pay
my fare home.
HE WISHED HE OWNED IT.
" If I was monarch of all I survey," said a man in a barber
sh?p, " I should, indeed, be a billionaire."
" How's that? " asked one of his hearers. " All you can
eee just now is this shop, and it ain't woith over $5,000."
" Just so," replied the first speaker, " but I'm a government
surveyor, and I survey hundreds of f quare miles of land every
year."
A STUDY IN PHILOLOGY.
Sumway It is strange how one word brings up another in
the mind.
Mrs. Sumway So it is.
Sumway Now the word " sardines " always suggests to me
the word " compact."
Mrs Sumway I wonder why.
Sumway Because they compact come packed very com
pactly, too.
,V rn SC
" Hey I Biddy, an' phwat's the good of all the big trusts
they do be formin' if a body has to pay cash ier a foive-cint
paper of tobaccy? "