Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The west shore. (Portland, Or.) 1875-1891 | View Entire Issue (June 14, 1890)
WKST SHORK. 7W V't k' . i , Driven to drink the cows. Down in the dumps the tailings. Reforming an evil making cigarettes out of cigar slobs. Tangle had been using some very vigorous language. " Don't you know," suggested Goodman, " that the good I) wk says 1 Swear not at all.' " " I'm not swearing at all," replied Tangle. IIK WENT. Alois I proposed to Alice Moneybags last evening. Ciiari.ii Did you indeed? And was it a go? Aims It wai. I bad to go, in a hurry, too. GOOD ADVICE. Fahti.riuii Yes, Branson, I have made up my mind to give up all my bad habits, get married and settle down. Hronhok You will do well to settle down, Fantleigh, but you owe me $100, and I'd like still more to see you settle up. WITH A SHOE ON IT. Clinton Don't you do anything for that impotttina'e fellow. If you give him an inch he'll take an ell. Ciiinookkh You needn't worry. I'm more likely to give him a foot than an inch. A DETERMINED MAN. Joiinhon When are you going to paint that fence for me, I'ncle Itastus? Uncle lUsTi's-Well. salt, I reckon I'll do It Saturday, if de Lawd'e williu' ; or if not, I'll do It Monday, any way, suah. WHERE TO GET IT. " I must go down to the hotel awhile to-night," remarked a Brooklln writer to his wife. " For Inn-splrallon, I suppose," she replied, sweetly and sarcastically. A USELESS QUESTION. Ma. Monkyhaos (sternly )-Ho you love my daughter, young man. What are your proscU, may I ask ? Charlie Slimitrhk It's no use asking me. You know letter than I do what my prosjecti are. PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT. Mrs. Grizzly What on earth is that screeching over at Johnson's about? Gmmv-Ohl Johnson is going to sing In a concert Satur day night, and as he's too laiy to practice he has hired Senor Niglikey to practice for him. A GOOD START. mi- L .1' 111 r i It LV 4 ka rm i mi I mr 4 in t - m if 1 " Mkbrill How Ii the new university In your city coming on? WooLLKY-Oh, splendidly. The base ball and foot ball pounds are laid out, the bath house built, and we've secured ven athletic Instructors. We're going to hire a man to teach Utln and llsto? and all that, and I eipect we'll open with a large dais next fall. NOT SO HAD, EITHER. Rlatukh (to Slathers, ho prepared to bow and was Ig nored) I say, Slathers, Isn't Miss Blood like that yacht out there? Slatiikrs How so? Blatiikrs Oh, well, If you don't see It I Hut It strikes me she's something of a cutter. NO SENSE TO KNOCK. lUroHm A policeman was knocked senselens a while ago. Editor Impossible I DEFINING THE WORD. Johnny Ci mno 1'a, what docs " primeval man " mean? Ct mho Trliiin evil man? Il must le a rvforenre to satan, ESTIMATING THE EXPENSE. " Do you charge by the acre?" akml Goslln of bootblack who was shining up a Trenton man's shoes. "No; I charge by the boot." THEN IT WAS REFILLED. " That empty rator reminds me of ijuall," remark! the star boarder at the dinner table. "Why?" aiked Mrs. Small. " Out of season." VICTORIA'! OI'INION. " It Is very wet eeather we are having, your Majwrty," re (markel I-ord Salisbury. " Not too eet, me M," repllel the lytmn. " In fart I don'l think hit possible to 'ave too much reign In this country." IIK MD NOT KNOW HOW. " Now say your prayers," said the bask to the Bantam rooster; " for I em going to eat yoo." " Alas, how can I?" replied the rooster; " I am not a bird of prey," Wat. II. Sivma.