WEST SI10KR
1,7.1
WHY SHE WOULD NOT EXCHANGE.
" My heart and hand I give to thee,
Cans; thou not give aa much to me"
Said I, ' my pretty maiden T"
" My hand ia thine," the maiden said
And added, aa she bowed her head,
" My heart 'a too heavy laden."
" My heart illicit," continued I
" And glud with love, and, therefore, why
Not give me thine, aweet.miilden? "
Said she, her cheeks lit a with flame,
" It waa by an txchange it came
My heart's too heavy laden."
LOOKING TO THE HTCRE.
Mhm. Barmn Benjamin Franklin, what U yo' duin' 8end
in' all yo' money an livin' like the prodigal fun?
B. F. I'ae workln fo' de fatted calf an do bea' rolie, Missus.
NOT ALWAYrf NEEDED.
I have an idea of being an author, Jack ; what do you think
about it?
Jack The " idea " ia the essential, though many have suc
ceeded fairly without it.
CANDOK.
THAT DEl'ENIK
IUHI.IX (to hi big brother)
deer four leu like
A-.,lil dug or two legs ,likn a chicken ?
U-SS Hhotiikm (liewlldered)-
That depend, Charlie, on the
.)(pV' 1 H Wl1
way you spell It.
Sakho Well, Huamm, what
'd ye gitfo' Christ mus?
Srn I dld'n git nuthln',
an' I dat's mo'n I s tilled
tu.
ScsinnKio-Hcre, pard, is an article for the press ; take it mil on Uw tU T
. .. ...'' ' II... 1 .... V .t
NO HI WW. NOW.
Tamkiiov I hear you have rival-how la It T
Wii.iiiiov Oh, no that matter's nettled. It's my rival
and some one ele for it now I
I'ROSI'F.CT.S (IOOI),
Johnson Don't you think Miss Jones a beautiful young
lady T
Hani-son Ves ; what are her prosiieele ?
Johnson Very gooil, Indeed i she's my girl,
CANDIDLY.
Ma. Nuamuiw IWt yon think, Miss AuUry, 1 would
and tell me candidly if you can see anything In it.
Dontno No, I can't; what is there in it, anyhow?
Scrihiiklo I don't know.
A HINT.
Mitts Fannik Mr. Hhrewdfellow, I never know how to take
you.
Mr. Siirkwdpellow I with you would find out.
NOT SO EASILY ENDED.
Miss Ai'HKMY Not mdma you act better on th atage than
oft of it.
THE OltltilN OF A hTollY.
Miss I. icy (his very dear friend)-1 hear Mr, Johrson,
that roil are engaged, Is It so?
Ma, JoimsiiN-Wrll, I gtieM that story got started last
week I tra$ engaged then,
IlUt!) ON THE FRESH.
" IVi, m ill llmra Im nniriiiaiiort In Iivhii?" 11 1'nrliana.
JACR-Jim, I've alwul made up my mind to get married and wytm. tti will liuv a new set of editors and report-
nave uone wuu li,
Jm (a five years married man with three children.)-Yes,
" have done with it I " That matter grows on you.
era!
TEMl'OHAIKLY 1"0STI'0NEI.
I'at Well, Moike, and did ye thrash Finerty aa ye waa
afther doin'?
Miki (with a bsndsge around hie head) No, le Jsbera!
When I met Finerty I discovered that I had me hands so full
of be In' thrashed thst I concluded to put the job oh for a wake
or two.
Jones (who ia being atared at by Mr. Blank;-What are
you looking at?
Ma. Flank Oh, nothing In particular.
A WISE SUGGESTION.
CiURUt Here la a letter I can't understand. Listen to
tills u a sample: "I think we would better discontinue our
correspondence."
(hoo-Well, thst Is not Just plain. Yoo would better
write her for an ciplanatlon.
HUE CHOSE ANOTHER.
"Hhureandl knew yer mllher well when she was swale
sixteen. And It's her fault entolrely that I'm not yer father."
TO MY Htk'TTIKcT READER.
If I were HsMe Clans I'll tell you what I'd do
I'd buy the prettiest gift in town and order it to you t
L'NCONHCIOI'H INGRATITUDE.
Lima Srsis-Pa, I wis' you waa Hanta Tail.
I'ama Why, my dear?
Ijtti.i St ais-Teua he's so dooil.
MIKE hl'M'KCTft I'AT I ft FLl'Hll.
I'Ar-Falth, Moike, ami do yes think It la more to
give than U rweve?
Mis i-Yea, I do that, I'at, and II I'd anything I'd be either
glltln' rid of I.