August, 1879.
234
THE WEST SHORE.
woman's ammoKM in tocnnr.
A ltd) kmI. - to me that tho wishet m t I
t.y something shout "Woman in licr liume, ami
tlw influence alio oxerciaos over moiety." I
Ukt exception to the words "over society.'1
Do you know we hsvo s little influence in sooi
ely, liut not a bit ortr it ' Well, it in no. Look
about you and aee i( it it not ai 1 aay. When
baa our protest Iroen heeded, or our wishes con
sulted by aoeiety ' Do you not know that
womeu would, if they could, have a very differ
ent stale ol public nmrali from that which now
prevails, ana that tbey cauuot have what they
wiah 7 We want honenty in huaiiicit, we want
purity in politica, we ileaire the ailniiuiatratiou of
juattos 111 the courta, we aee tin- nee. I of reforms
hi educational allaira; hut who heedaour wishes
111 thnaa rtapsctt We would have, long ago,
haniahed from aoeiety the vice that aaia its
moral and phyaical health, if it had liven pot
aibbi for ua to do it but la it ' On the contra
ry, art an hi -fit faoe to face with it every
lay, until we have ceaaed to hluah at it. Kvery
yoiingetl maiden baa heard that whole atreeta
of our ciliea are givon ui to it; and matroiia
know that the niotiey that ihould km to the em
lielliahtneiit or comfort of their home life, govt
to procure the embellishment of that other life
that la the ioieon of aoeiety. Mothera know
that their aona and daughters are familiar with
iiewspeir ad ertiaemenU that oiler evemitioii
Irom the ieualtina of vice, and are therefore
lanUnioiiut to a teinitation to iMaMr with it.
Women are woefully familiar w ith the aorrowa
that MM 'rom the licensing of all manner of
hot tmls of evil, auch aa liiUor aalooua, gamh
hug houaea, dam e cellars, ami the like. Some
ol them have been ao deluded aa to think that
by a combined 1 Hurt with the womanly weamn
ol prayer and entreaty they might do aoinc
thing toward al-, lulling auch things. We all
know how they tuccooded. Oh, no; we have
no influence over society! Society siisim ita
in.,. i at ua. Not only that, it drags ua into
the whirlpool, ami beam ua along 011 the irre
aiatihle current, until hy-andby we yield from
weariness of tm last tlTort I'upc, never wruta
a truer couplet than that oft quoted 000 of viue.
that
" Nam MM .41, lauilllat llh liar
W 1 flm eiHlura, Uwn pity, than aiiitiraea "
The very religion of Ihu gushing age ia pity
nl vie. If then, religion haa reached the
amxHtd stage, It la eaa to aee how aooiaty haa
reached the stag where vlot ii embraced w ith-
ait protest I know that all tint ia very shock
km bfjfj the ii,.,. 1 thit-king lrl of it ia ita
truth
mkUl n nah iioml
Well, bare certainly, we ought to have aome
IDfluence that ehoald extend inb tociety; and
oat ol cnuruay to a tnU halief, I will aaaume
that we have The ideal wife and mother ia a
woman of the hoaaahold exclusively, whnee
tboechU, time and attention are dm, led about
e,uallv Mween kiUhen an, I uurserv. She il
thoughtful aa to buttons, and careful aa to pud
dlit recipes In the brief luterrab) that occur
hatwwe tbaee dntiea ehe goea out Ui the church
eocianiaa, and makea calle uin the other ladica
in bar tat. On Sundays ah giw to meeting.
What, with the annual irruption of infantile
iliteaeaa. the aeon annual hoaae cleanings, the
urtarly set to on the family tewing, and her
owe occaeiooal illneaa, theytara do not teem
long enough to give 14m for thinking Mow
can abt think with all lh little caret of a whole
houtrhold dieting each other through her tired
! train day after day, rear after j ear How can
aba read, with the baby crying fretfully with ita
teething, aad Johnny clamoring fur a airing to
hu kite Kbt cannot do it. and aft. 1 a baaty
gbuwt at the morning paper in the middle of
the afternoon, abt givtt it up What ia tot
.Hitaidt world to bar, with thtt reetleta, vncifsr
oua eiigaaat liltit world under htr ova root '
She text pap whta bt cam bow to dinner,
"What ia the news?" but papa ia too tired and
too careloaa to give au intelligent answer. If
ho ataya at homo during the. evening ahe may
renew the iiic.atimiug, button tooneheiawholly
alaiorlioil in the evening paper, or dozing off to
sleep upon the aofa, while aliu aita and sewn in
resigned silence. How is turn woman to have
any influence on society 7
You aay, through her husband and children,
ilut how can she iiilliience her husband when he
only conies homo to eat and sleep ? and when it
is tie that controls every affair of importance
that relates to the welfare of the whole family,
including herself? Negatively she does, of
course. If hu had no home ho might spend his
leisure in less sanctified places; mid by furnish
ing a cheerful, iuiet, cosy haven of rest for him
after the day's business, she docs truly some
thing for his good. If she is a woman gifted
with intellectual charms and with tact, she
may gain quite a strong hold upon him, so that
he nays attention to what the says, and learns
really to value her ominous. Kvcn in this case,
sho it quite aa likely to lie influenced by his
views, ns he to accept hers. In any case he
will convoy to her the knowledge in a manner
more or less decisive, that he exjiects to take
charge of all allaira of importance outaide of the
family, if not in it, too,
Hut, you aay, she must coax him, and flatter
and wheedle him, and ao gain her ends in that
way. Well the coaxing is all very pleasant to
both parties where they are fond of each othor,
and that aort of influence is aullicicut to pro
cure a now dress or bonnet; but it docs not
often go any farther than that. In short a
man's character is formed usually before he is
married, and the most that a wife, under the
most favorable influences, can do towards
governing bis actions is to make him indulgent
to her jiersonally. I'oasibly ahe may pcrsuadu
him to attend the church which she prefers in
stead of tho otm he was brought up in. Hut
the moat devoted wife I ever knew in my whole
circle of olwervation waa never ablo to get her
IiubImukI inside of a church at all; and another
woman of the aameatylc whoia a Congregation
alist never haa succeeded in irettinir her husband
(an excellent man by the way) to go to her
church when there were servioea at tho Haptilt
church, to which he belonged; though ahe often
went with him to hia.
Women veryoften marry men to "save them
from ruin. " rhere ia love between them, and
the man tells the woman that undoubtedly he
shall go to the lad unleaa ahe content to act at
hia redeeming angel. Her friends opiiosc the
tacrifi.it; lint ahe believes him before all tho
world, and the marriage takea place. For a
short time the novel pleasures of love and homo
hold tho young hiitliand steady, and tho wife
feeU all the pride and joy of having successfully
uteri hir " inlluence" 011 the man the love to
keep him in the path of right. Hut by and by
there comet a time when she learns with bit
terest certainty that ahe might aa well expect
to hold the winds with jelttra aa to keep hor
husband from the courtet to which he it tempted
either by appetite or evil aeeociationa. Of the
children of auch a marriage aa many are likely
to inherit the banc appetitot of the father aa the
gentle ttlf aacrifice of the mother; and the re
sult is her happiness ruined with that of all
her children, half of whom may repeat their
father's fault Instead, therefore, of taring
one man, she hat givon the world several more
like him to go t nun l thit the kind of 111
lluence that will tave tocitty 7 If any of your
friendt have it in mind to "tare" any worthlrta
young men bv marrying them, tell them they
hail belter take a "cup of cold poiton" at once.
Hut tint 1, pica, nt Ui them how much aafer
would bt the eiperiment of "taving" honett,
induatnout, ut tight young men; and bow much
better such an enterprise would y iu money,
in romfoit and reapectahilily.
Ntvertheleta there ia accurity (or men in the
putt pleasure of home; and inasmuch aa wo
men make the home, and contribute to ita
attractivtnett bv a thousand feminine device,
in in much do they nereis an influence over
men. liut a recipe for making happy homes ia
much in stylo of that one for cooking a hart -"Kirst
catch your We," Fin you mutt have
a husband who can be attracted by your pretty
little artifices. There are thousand of women
who would give their eye to have their huslnnds
acknowledge the charm of the place that posses
for his home, but is not, because hia heart U
not there. In vain are all the cunning orna
ments, the sweet smelling tlowers, the dainty
dress and bright aspect of thing generally. He
comes and goe fitfully; hi breath, when he
gives the haaty kis of hoine-couiing or parting,
ia redolent of stimulant. Up to the present
the wifo is in ignorance of any positive public
shame; but her heart is wildly troubled lest
ih. dreaded truth ahould burst upon her at any
moment. She know the is doomed, aud the
poor little pretence of affecting to believe the is
still his darling, is horribly hard to support.
Then there are poorer homes that might be
happy if the husband could be made to ace more
pleasure in it than he find in the boorish company
outside. Hut he does not. Tho small house, with
tho noise of children, and the jaded looks of the
tired mother and hottsekceperare not agreeable to
him; while tho woman's entire ignorance of the
ward politics and kindred subjects forces him to
go outside for symiuvthy in his views, whatever
thoy may be ; anil there he finds tho strong,
coarso mental aliment suited to his want, the
relish of which ia hightened by the pipe and the
glass of beer or whiaky. Where ia the inlluence
in this cose ?
Perhaps you will say the woman should have
been so intelligent a to have overborne the at
tractions of tho outaide company, or that her
house ahould havo been so complete a picture of
comfort as to have held the strong man away
from vicious association. 1 shall not (ay no to
tho lint proposition, but I ahall inquire as to
the second, by what supernatural strength one
poor, uncultivated woman i to lie wife, mother,
housekeeper, rook, kill 1 1. 1 ry W oil 1 a II , gOVCmCU,
ward politician, and charming center of an at
tractive home at one and the aamo time ? 1 do
not say that I novcr saw a woman who waa all
thia ; but I do say ahe who accomplished this
marvel wa a very intellectual and considerably
cultivated person. Her husband took great
comfort in her aoeiety and was very proud of
her ; but I never knew him to take her advice
in a single caae of any importance to their mutual
interest, though by neglecting to do ao, he sev
eral times loat all their common property and
brought very severe trial and want upon her.
Oh, no ! it i all a mistake about the " influ
ence" one of those pleasant hombug I would
gladly aee exploded, because very unjustly it is
made a cause of reproach to tit. And it i done
in this way: A man fall into bad habits, and
his wifo who loves him, very gently, with aecret
tears and a public proud forbearanoe, trie to
por-u el, him to givo up the dangerous vice.
He listens half impatiently, kiate her aa if he
were conferring a pardon upon her for being to
disagreeable aa to mention tho matter to him,
and tells hor the must be very loving and patient
with hi in, and try to exorcise a strong influence
over him through hi affection ! Sho take thia
disinterested advice, not knowing what else to
do, and forgive him sweetly over and over
again. Ilut by and-by, when the tvil habits art
confirmed, tho is aroused to a tense of t!
utrlettnet of patience and shows a little iliirit
uimn occaeiona. What doea my lord say to that !
He make it the excuse for behsving more
wickedly than before, telling her with lofty as
surance that her cold, unloving way have driven
him to dittiittion, and will be the ruin of him
yet So it goes on from bad to won cootiuu
ally, until there comes a time when ahe aajra,
" I can no longer endure this ; w shall have to
lire apart" And then he tays, "why, what'
the matter 7 You didn't use to take these things
to seriously ! "
Itehold the reward of yoar sweetness to bt
told that you used not to ear aboat that
abominable practices, but of late yon are quite
putting on air ! I a t me inquire in thia oast,
who used the controlling influence ? Wss it lb