June, 1879.
THE WEST SHORE.
.85
SPRING AND SUMMER SPORTS.
Moving -accompanied liy Or.-gon init.
' 1 " '
Just ill limr In i,r rsruniiin Ixial
juil inuiitliug I In- U 11 I
Swinging 150 Hi, nmiliri in law. 98 In the slud.
I'OT-I'OUKKI.
Wen we asked whit we comiiler a hard
t i.il, we ihould promptly reply : To drew
line lor the average Portland publisher, wherj hit
diehooeit greed (or money will ttop. The greatest
fraud run hire himself editorially lauded an honest,
ntimable citiaen, by paying the required blood
money to theae journalistic parasite. A moat un
scrupulous, ignorant quack doctor, whose drunken
orgies have made him rather notoriuus and a fa
vorite with hie stripe, found his patronage drop
ping off, the direct result of our repeated attacks
on that elans of vampires. The doctor (.) wan
about to emigrate to fresher tields and pastures
new, and fortunately for bin) found here in Port
land, the metropolis of Oregon, corrupt Journals,
who for the consideration of a few paltry dollars,
willfully polluU their columns by editorially en
dorsing this fallow as "a distinguished aud skillful
physician and eminent leoturer." They also si
press regret at his leaving us, how much we'll
miss him, and print a lot of stuff In his favor,
which is not seconded by a single respectable reel
dent of this city. These notices will, of course,
be reprinted In the local Journals wherever this
quack may locate, and be the means of deceiving
people as to bU true character. If any one of the
publisher of the Journals that contained these no
licea has any conscience left, he will rue the day
when he became party to a fraud, which may be
the means of sending thousands of innoeeut peo
ple to untimely graves.
(Juackery and Ignorance go together, llefore us
lias a circular, in which the so-called Doctor pro
teases U cure all diisasaa at a charge of from to)
cents up to 14. Of course some show of education
must be made, so this quack opeua his remarks
with, "Nihil deaperandum," which he uses instead
of "nil deeperaadum," which means "never U
epeir." Again, k wind, up hie advertisement
with "L'Eavoy," which he use Instead of
"L Envoi." In his oomp siUon, also, this party
how. ig not a in He writ that he -should of
answered before" bad b not been "so unfortunate
as to loos ail his circulars by fire." We need not
speak farther of this or any other quack; MM of
them should be allowed to tamper with human
bodies, lor ami of them are not at to doc lor a
sick male.
The uppsr story of oar miguiaeaat Castom
House, erected lor us by s geneeou. (lovers meat,
at a aoat of M1.0U0. having ben turned lalo a
lodging boose. It is sow suggested thai Ike has
meal bi give to Too Sitsg. tor Issndry parposss.
The yard, which, before that tar-mash was poured
over the walks, and before dandelions aud other
weeds crowded out a growth of besuliful grass,
was known as the lawn, will especially please
Ton Ming to dry lineu on.
Ton Ming ought lo be given a ohanre. He pays
road and other Usee, is quite an inoffensive rltisen,
doee'nt afflict us with 4th of July and other ora
tions, minds his own business and has no otAer
help from the (inverument. He owns no real es
tate, and the Custom House basement would be Just
thecbeeaa for him. Ever generous I 'nolo Ham, pro
vider of free residences, including lire, gu, ser
vants Ac, for fat ofllie holders, look dowu upon
this poor heathen, who needs your assistance, and
do let him have thai basement.
The an oied oharming piece of sarcasm, laksu
from Thf .4 runnou', is a just rebuke to that class
of siokly sentimeuUlists who "slobber over" avary
criminal and Anally have the impudence to assure
us, as iu th ease of one Cook, hung at the Hellas
a fi-w month, ago, thai having declared repen
tance, he thereby secured a through ticket for
heaven, with a reserved front seat. In fact, under
penally of being by them looked upon es an
atheist, we are aipscted to believe that Ihe sprmit.
ing of ih angel's wings takes plsne simulta
neously with the tightening of the hangman's
knot about the neck :
"Mr. Anderson, lbs gentlema who rendered
important service to Mr. Troy llye in performing
ties Tullls murder, Is reported by his "spiritual ad
viser" as having given evidence of "deep religious
conviction" Just before "dylug a triumphant and
Christian death" tangled In a rope. I vealara
with due and becoming deference lu the (lovernor
tu submit that after a condemned murderer has
repented, reformed, and become a good Christian,
be might safely be turned loo. What Is the u
of banging a pious aad estimable ciliaan f"
I). C. Ireland, publisher of Iks AUmtmm, la
ususlly a vary clsvei gsatUasao, and has bees
rather successful since be mads Astoria his home
Doing business at a ess port, bis patronage comes
In a gnat maasar from pilots end seafaring aseu
Mr Inland knows hleh aid hie krsad Is buttered
on. la dsfsnc of hie friends, however, he fre
quently allows his eathusisam to carry him loo
far, whisk he mast oertsisly regret in aslmer mo
meats Hpsaklng of pilot Dotg. of the "Ores!
Hspsblic," who has haea sweat of being drank
who the ship street, and ere believe s wse not,
Mr. Ireisad Bays: "I. Thaw th ajsarttoa U
wholly nasi totally tale; Mr. Dusg never drinks
'ISM of any kind , he Is a sober, temperate man
1 Thsrs is not s pilot employed on lbs Columbia
river bar that does drink 1 If anybody was lo
Wii ; if people jwrat.t In attaching reopnaetUltly
upon some one lor tble loss, blame the Almighty I
He did II." Come, mw, this is pulling II rather
strong. As well might a man fill his cellar with
decaying vegetables, leave his premises In a gen
eral llllh) condition, esjuee himself sud fsmlly In
nonlsgious dlses.ee, and then blame Ihe Almighty
hould sli kuess snler his home and i airy oft some
of the U of lh house rinvtdonre doeen'l want
us to be sir, nor does he sink ships for mere
amusement If Pilot Ihiig and Captain Catroll
must wear spoliate robes, sllseh the Idem to th
ship's wsllers, pmlrym.n or etswerdess, but don't
let ua hesr any mue hladiemy by blaming In
Almighty,
BPLINDH) 1 1 Kill N 1 UMM NM
Chsmliera' lke, ba-atnl on Ihe line of Ih
Northern I'aclllc llsllrosd, nlnslsen miles ftom
Teroms, Is a spl.ndld place lo go for Irout Dur
ing low Water, In July and August, Ihe lake has
apparently no outlet, and recedes en lhal It n only
nboul I ' feel square This .pace is literally
jammed with Hue gamy brook truul, wbleh ear h
landed about a. fast as the .ntaman may wish
to There arse large number of other desirable
place along Ihe line of the Northern I'ar in lUil.
road, where Ins troal osn h Isksn. Illreetloes
for ranching them ran lie had Imm nny of lb
train conductors.
A noisy fillovt annoys n fellow.
Ilml on the water--Mosquitoes.
A mM of pluck Tlw fowl stripper.
A poor itlnlii.n- A alory hailly lolil.
'I'n . lire.- .1 felon -1 liM I lie Momulrrl.
A tahlr of interest- -The ilinner tahlr.
An ancient Scythian OM l.iili. 1
time.
A lailr who Was krl if the tltMM
of the year uilc linn melancholy, seitl
ye, imlil they were aelileil for.
A country paper ay 1 "A chihl we
run otcr hy wagon ihrec year old
and troaa-eyetl with panlalclt on."
The man who wa tossed over ths)
hack of an irate hull was teportcd a,
not ileail, hul only gone heef o'er.