March, 1879.
THE WEST SHORE.
81
Despise not small thins; the largest oorn it
always found on the smallest toe.
Tin new cook book, "How to Get a Good
Dinner," ahould be in the hands of every tramp.
It ia vulgar to call a man "bow-legged."
.lust speak of him as a parenthetioal pedestrian.
Mr. Heep said to a drunken fellow: "If I
wore in your place I would go out to the woods
and hang myself." The answer was: "Is yooi
in my plaish you couldn't get there."
Tin: following explanation of a legal term ia
offered by a Teutonic member of the Canton
police force: "Ven I git me out a habeaa scor
pion!, I can chust so veil catch a man where he
ain't as where he is."
Jomi Billings says: 'There is one thing
about a hen that looks like wisdom; they don't
kackle much until ajk.r they have laid their
egg. Sum pholka are alwux a bragging ami a
kackling what they are going tew do bee-fore
hand.
A Highlander called at a railway ticket
ollice in an unimportant seaport town not 100
miles from Dundee, when the last train was
aliout starting, and asked for a ticket to a place
three miles beyond where the train was going.
When he was told by the olerk that the train
did not go there, he remarked, "If she were to
give the engine-maiitter a saxpenoe to horsul'.
wud she tak' her hame on the coal-box of her
engine ! It wudna tak' her far oot o' her way. "
I was an amused witness of a little scene in
one of the law oourt the other day, which illns
trates the ruverenoe of the junior branch of tho
profession for the senior. Enter two nttornoys'
clerks, decidedly seedy in appearance. First
i lerk to companion: "Confound it ! Where's
my man? Can't see 'im anywheres." Seoond
ilerk: "Oo'a your man?" First olerk: "The
Attnrney-Cioneral, confound 'im". Imdon
WorU,
Would you mind readin' this for me, sir ? I
c an't read myself." It was a snow-shoveler on
Walnut streot, that spoke, as he handed over
an envelope, enclosing a telegram, which read
maenviiie, January Uth, 1N71I. 1 will arrive
at l.uiisville by the three o'clock train thin I
filing. .l,TTy A. Taft." "It goes straight
along -just them 'ere words, without any
lutchiii' or atumbliu'?" "Just that way. " "It
can't lie Jerry, then, it can't be Jerry," he
mused. "Jerry couldn't say that many words
without atutterin' all to pieces, to save his life.
Some fellow's tryin' to fool me, but I'm to
smart lor him. I am.
At the close of a lecture on physiology before
n evening school, a few nights since, tho lec
turer remarked that anyone was at liberty to
asa questions upon the subject, and he woulil
answer them as far as be was atilo. A young
lady with much apparent sincerity, remarked
that she had a question to ask, though she was
not certain that it was a proper one; she woulil,
however, venture to ask it. It was as follows:
"If one hen lays an iin. and another sits on it.
and hatches ont a chioken, which hen is the
mother of the chicken " The lecturer said:
'I will answer yon in true Yankee style, by
asking you a question: If a little, pretty, white,
genteel, native pullet, sits on an egg of Oriental
MS OSKIlSIUUtS IflDMi numoiv, k
legged, splinter-shanked, slab-sided, awkward
gaited Shanghai, would you, if you were thai
little white pallet, own the great homely mon
star?" "No, said the youni!ady, " irouinVf.'
"Very well," said the lecturer, "that settles the
question, for it ia a principle in physiology that
Mima ana act auao in an eaaenuai par
ticulara."
'axt-Steei If a niece ol cast-steel be made
red-hot and ia quenched in cold watar it will
in- ,,m,. longer, but if the same operation lie per
formed upon a piece of wrought iron it wilt be
COItlM .L.rl.p IV. ...... . in . ,,. hi tit tl... .1
'ration, or ita variation in different qualities of
.n metal, naa never oeen iietenmnew, su
Plough it if of great importance in workshop
".oipuiawuu.
TIIE EUCALii ita ULOBULUit
Our engraving on thia page shows the leaves,
twigs, blossoms and seed capsules of the AVu
Itiptm ijluhuliu or Australian blue gum. There
may be aoen the two atylea of foliage, tho wide
opposite leaves which come earliest in thn
growth of the tree and tho long, narrow ami
pointed alternate leaves which apiear after
ward. There is also shown the beautiful blue.
soms, with its myriad anthers. About Im c ti
ter ol the engraving is tho seed capsule, one
half cut away, so that ita internal structure ap-
To Oleanre Soiled Oaepeie. Carpets that
have seen hard service are apt to look dingy
even when they have Imui freahly put down and
well taken care of. To brighten and cleanse
them, there i im better method than sponging
the surface, or, if very much soiled. aurulilnoK
it, with a mixture of ammonia, buret, oil nail
and water. Cae a labli'Bt,ui(nl of liquid
ammonia and an equal quantity of ml gull and
Miwdemd borax to every quail uf warm water
Only a small portion ol naril ahould Im gone
over at once and that widl dried with a mean
woolen cloth hoforo another is tom bed, All
IJCAVKH ANI BUWHOMH OK Al'HTKAI.lAN MU01 '' H
pears, and lower down ia one of the laiaulea (
! 1 . I .1 ... , I,., ,, r. m n 1 . .. . L Ol I . I
lurnwi lowam vow j --
ita capacious eup.
Iti k Fikish riR Bras. Optical and phil
oaopbioal inetrumente made in Kranoe often
have all their braes surfaces of a Una dead
black color, very permanent ami difficult no
itaie The following, obtained from a foreign
source, ia the process used by the
eaaa: Make a atroog soluti-Hi of ultraU of sti
ver in one dish awl of nitreU of 'Plr ' an
tl-r Mix the two together and plunge the
hraaa into it Itemove and heat the brass even
y until the repaired degree of dead hbv knoaei
is obtained.
grease .1 should las tak all out befure the
general clransing la beguu. For tlieaa use Ik
i.r.ir.t,.,,. will, noli, lialf Ilia ouuiiilv ol ttatar.
swinging tha spots tiioniuglily awl ruldong Ihatn
uutil very dry.
Bva Hi. in nia FaJUa Menalor Chan
dler hal something wise to say about farming
as well aa enmathing significant about polilna,
whan ha addrraaail hia usiglilaira at his farm w
Me logaa. "If I had a boy," b i. leimad, "I
wuuld rather put him oa an W) arre farm thai
had wvai had a plow or aa on it, than plasw
him in the bast iovernmant onW m tha laaaL"
Tbasw remarks from a man who knwa what he
la talk lag ebuat, ahould he remembered. II ll
aa item liar raatlsaa farmer lads to poauUf ever.