May.
- FOftTM WkTSHOKI.
BOBBY.
By HEM LINTON.
Out in the suburbs where the air is fresh
and dewy from the fields, where no un
clean breath of the city drops its malaria of
unrest, stands a neat, little cottage, snow
white with green shutters and a trellised
porch, covered with honeysuckle. Any
pleasant afternoon, should you pass that
way, you will see,perched on top of the
gate-post, a little, round-faced, curly-headed
boy, brown and rosy and dimpled, with
wierd, wide Irish eyes full of intense fire.
If you do not notice him, he will surely
stop you with the most outlandish abbrevia
tions, that ever a child invented "Momin'
man, 'amily yell ?"
Being thus accosted, you face about ; you
see the smallest atom of humanity, regard
ing you with a look as brave and fearless as
a veteran soldier. He repeats this time
quite peremptorally "'amily yell?"
You comprehend now and smile. Your
hearty appreciation of his interest in your
family, which puts Bobby in a wonderful
good humor.
"Very well, mylittleman! how is yours?"
"Dooder'n it was." The answer comes
straight as an arrow.
Should you continue the conversation,
he will tell you in his own peculiar dialect,
that his name is "Yobert Y. 'Allister, Yun
ior" and that he will be "tree ears old next
gass," which are Bobbyisms for Robert
McAllister, Jr.," and three years old next
grass. .
Having no facu!ty-for dates, he keeps
track of his birthdays by the coming of
the summer grasses.
He will also tell you that "at 'ouse" is
his and that he has "a 'oss" and "a dorg'
and "'ots o' 'tickens. If you are riding he
will suddenly end his list of possessions
with "man, 1 'nos 'oo" which is another
Bobbyism for "man, may I ride."
If mamma is not watching, and he has
your consent, the chubby, little feet will
carry him ofTthe gate post in a twinkle and
he will climb up on the pommel in front
of you in the rarest Irish humor imagina
ble. But should mammaenter her veto, the
hot Irish blood, which brooks no restraint,
will flash in his eyes, the chubby, little
feet will stamp in a protest of rage the
sweet mouth, that can dimple with such
rare smiles, will fling out defiantly, "1 yill
go, mamma Y 'Allister I I no no oo."
Then when the birch twig, that is kept
in reserve, is displayed up will go the
tiny, clenched hand and up will go the
chubby right foot "1 yip 'oo, mamma I
tick 'oo. This is the last climatic point
his fury reaches. To-wit, to-wit, lo-wit goes
the birch twig across the rebellious hand
and foot. It slings but he bears it bravely.
To-wit, to-wit, to-wat, and this time the
foot is dropped the hand undoubles it
self large tears trickle down the dimpled
check the red lips, that were tightly com
pressed,"relax into a quiver and the deep,
broad, Irish nature breaks up in a great
heart-sob, "I do no oo, mamma; I are
dooder'n Iwas." Bobby is conquered only
till he can recruit his forces.
He is eminently ingenious in a mechani
cal sense ; that is he invents innumerableun
thought means of amusement He
wrings the heads off of all the chickens he
can catch to play "inyun;" gathers the
eggs and cracks them for nuts; shells the
peas to "pay yambles;" rides the dog for
a pony; holds kitty in a tub of water till
she strangles to make her "yim;" carries
off all the spools from the work-basket to
make "yagons;" gets into the pantry and
pinches great holes in the pies; in short
keeps everything turned topsy-turvy gener
ally. (Tramp! tramp! tramp! Herehecomes
now down the garden-walk, up to his thighs
in his father's great boots, and his father's
broad brimmed garden hat falling half way
to his shoulders.)
"Where have you been, Bobby I"
THE WEST SHORE.
'Yeedin'dardin. mamma" trmmnhant-
Iy holding up a young onion.
Mamma is in despair and everv dav
prays that her little boy may grow up to be
an honor to himself and to theworld. And
think he will; the untirinir enenrv. that
now drives the restless, little feet in so
many ways of mischief, will, I trust, as he
grows to man's estate, centre upon some
great truth and develop it for the sake of
numanity and for the glory of God.
SHE WANTED IT IN RED TYPE.
Soon afternoon, the other day a very fat
woman, "going on fifty years old," toiled
up the four pair of stairs, rested her breath
awhile, and then wanted to see the "head
reporter." '
I am all alone in this world." she com
menced, as she sat dow n and pulled out
her handkerchief.
"A widow, eh?" queried the head
reporter.
"Yes, a poor striving widdcr, whose
husband has been dead these fourteen
years."
Death is a sad thing, madam. It
crushes hopes, severs ties, and breaks
hearts."
"He was such a good man !" she sob
bed, covering her face with her handker
chief, "and such a good provider. We
alters had meat, and taters, and wood, and
preserves ; and do you know, he never
gave me an unkind word ?"
"He must have been an excellent man."
"He was he was. He'd git up nights
and cover up the children, and shake down
the stove, and if his meals wasn't ready, or
he found buttons off his shirt, he'd never
open his head."
"And your grief is yet strong your sor
row just as deep?"
"Just the same as the day he lay dyin
ahd took my hand, and whispered,
'Lortilda, don t take on so. Yes, I'i
grieving just the same, or I wouldn't care
what folks said. Thai's what brought me
up here folks are ta king about me.
'They are, eh ?"
"Yes, they are, They've said that I was
after a widower ; that I fell in love with
one of the boarders ; that I was keeping
up correspondence with an undertaker, and
that I was dead in love with a dozen men,
"And is it not true ?"
'True, young man ! Look at me !
Great heavens 1 do I look like one who
wanted to get married ?"
"Well, n-o."
"How could I marry again?" she ex
claimed. "How could I forget that dear
form beneath the sod and smile on another
man ? Marry ! Great stars, young man 1
but how could they start such stories ?'
"And you want them denied !"
"That's it. Here's ten cents, and I want
you to come out to-morrow in a piece so
long, and say that I'll prosecute these
slanderers if these stories don't cease. Put
it in red type, mister in red type and big
letters at that ; a Detroit widdcr can't
escape the vile slanders, no matter how
well she behaves. I marry again 1 think
of it, young man !
"But widows often do remarry."
"Alars I they do, young man. Some
how it seems lonesome to be a widder,
and have no one defend you, and be all
alone, but but I couldn't think of taking
another husband not unless he was rich !"
And she wiped her eyes again, and felt
her way down stairs. Detroit Free Prttt.
Imparting ax Artificial Flavor to
FaiiT. The French are in the habit of
imparting an artificial flavor and fragrance
to apples and pears by the following pro
cess : The fruit is plucked before being
quite ripe, and is pricked all over with a
fine needle ; after which it is placed in a
vessel, with essence of any kind desired.
The exhalations of the latter are absorbed
in a few seconds bv the fruit, and the opera
tion is repeated several times, until the
fruit is ripe, when it will be found to have
acquired the desired taste.
ST. VINCENT'S HOSPITAL.
Among the many benevolent institutions
to which Portland may point with pride,
there are none more useful than the Hos
pital of St. Vikcixt di Paul, an illus
tration of which we furnish in the present
number.
This institution of charity owes its origin
to the St Vincent de Paul Society which
was established in this city October loth,
1869, by a number of Catholic gentlemen
for the purpose of assisting the sick and
poor. The Society, however, soon learned
from experience that but little good could
be accomplished unless an institution could
be erected wherein the sick would receive
suitable attention accordingly, in 1870.
the society decided to set apart a portion of
their funds for the purpose of purchasing
a block of ground whereon to erect a
building ; annual fairs were given for three
years, from which was realized sufficient
funds to purchase the ground and erect the
basement story of the present edifice.
The site of the Hospital is one of the
most eligible that could be selected, remote
from the noise and bustle of commerce,
on a beautiful plateau that commands a
magnificent view of the Willamette river,
the rural scenery on the Eastern shore, with
a superb view of Mount Hood and the
Cascade range of mountains in the dis
tance. Thus, on every side, St. Vincent's
Hospital presents a cheering prospect so
grateful to the eyes of the sick.
In the erection of the Hospital no ex
pense has been spared to have it construct
ed upon the most scientific principle! with
all modern improvements, no less than
twenty thousand dollars having already been
expended for the grounds and buildings.
A portion of this amount only has been
paid, but through the liberality of the peo
ple ol the Northwest it is hoped that
few years the Hospital will be entirely free
from debt. The Sisters of Charity have
entire control of the Hospital, Ten Sis
ters, together with a number of female,
auxiliaries are constantly employed nursing
the sick and extending to the multifarious
duties which such an attensive Institution
requires. These Sisters also visit the sick
irrespective of creed or country in
every portion of the city, tlius extending
charity in its broadest sense and comforting
many through its holy and consoling
influence.
The building will accommodate one
hundred patients, and is so arranged that
all who desire may have suits of private
rooms. Already nearly three hundred
patients have been received within its
portals since the day of its dedication.
July iglh, 1875. At present there are
about thirty patients in the Institution, ihi:
being about the monthly average.
Besides the suites of private rooms there
are six wards, each twenty feet wide by
thirty-two feet in length. Five of these
wards are for male patients and the other
for females, whose Department is entirely
secluded from the other wards.
The grounds surrounding the building
have been laid off into walks for the use of
patients and planted with shade and fruit
trees, shrubbery, and flowers, so that the
building and its surroundings appear more
like a private mansion than a public build
ing. Along the ends of the Hospital
spacious verandalis have been erected
where patients can promenade during fine
weather, when able to leave the building.
The Medical Department is under the
charge of Dr. Alfred Kinney, a Surgeon
who has already won for this Institution a
splendid reputation through his professional
skill. Dr. Kinney it assisted by Dr. W. B.
Cardwell, but patients are permitted to
have the services of any physician they
desire.
In the reception of paiientsnodistinction
is made in creed or country ; all are treated
alike, the good Sisters never wearying of
waiting on all who appeal to them for aid
in their hour of sickness.
9
PAPER BARRELS.
Among the numerous novel uses tc
which paper is now-a-days put, is the
manufacture of barrels for the carriage of
such materials as flour, sugar, etc. These
barrels are made of successive layers of
paper board cemented together, and sub
jected to enormous pressure, the result ot
wntcn is a compact substancc4-with great
resisting power. The paper is made of
straw, thus titling and converting, into a
merchantable article, what, in most sections
of the country, is regarded as refuse. The
barrels are perfectly cylindrical in form,
Inch gives them an advantage of twentv-
five per cent, in storage over wooden
barrels. Tlicir weight is about half lint of
wooden barrel, so that in a car laid a
saving of nearly one thousand pounds in
freight is made. It is calculated that they
will stand four limes the pressure that a
wooden barrel will. The invention was
patented a few months ago, and two
factories are now engaged in the manufac
ture one at Winona, Wis., and one at
Decorah, Iowa. At the latter factory 1 .600
barrels per day arc turned out, with a con
sumption of five tons of paper. It is
claimed for them that they can be made
twenty per cent, cheaper than wooden
barrels. They may be rendered alsolutelr
air-tight, and it is claimed that they will
resist moisture lonircr than ihcv are likelr
ever to be exposed to it. They are made
in quarter, half, and fu sizes. The inven
tor is sanguine that ihcv are destined en
tirely to supersede the wooden barrel. '
NEWSPAPER WITS.
Newspaper wit is quite a feature ot the
press. There are a great number of wags
who arc employed to make fun and man
ufacture liglit and airy things. Some ol
their wit is excellent; but some is as dull
as ditch waler. The man who, whether
sick or well, in good spirits or bad spirits,
vivacious or dull, has to make a column
of bright and sparkling paragraplit every
day, is not to be envied. He oftentimes is
so out of trim thai, witty and fruitful as he
may generally be, he finds himself without
an idea. His mind is stagnant, and- he
has to cudgel it 10 make it work. A man
thus situated is an object of pity, and yet
he has to coin things that will move to
laughter. Tlie process resembles that ol
striking fire with mud. This thing has to
be done every day. There are many pa
persthe great majority, and especially
many of those 1I1.1I claim to be the leading
papersthai do not employ these wits.
The wiU, rollicking, half-civilized journals
of the West, and of some of the small
towns and country neighborhoods of New
England and the Middle Stales, have their
wits just xs ihe kings of medieval limes
had their Tools;" and lliese fools (another
name for wits) had not unfrequenily more
wisdom than the kings who laughed at
their jokes and fed litem.
To write witty and siarkling things every
day, whether in (he mood or not, ami
when there is no material out of which to
coin them and a whole column at that
is one of the greatest labors that can be
undertaken.
Why should noi the press give the pub
lic light as well as heavy reading? Every
body likes it In these days comedy
pleases many more people than tragedy.
A good laugh every day is good for the
health.
A New H ami-shirr man has been amus
ing himself with a dictionary which he
won at a spelling match, and finds thai the
syllable "con" is tlie beginning of 1,153
words, all of which have 1,699 different
significations. No other three letters can ,
be found dial begin so many words as the
syllable "con."
Immigrants in search of lands will find
it to their advantage to call on C. W. Shaw
A Co., Real Estate 4 Money Broken al
Salem. They have superior facilties for
the purchase of lands of all kinds.