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Miles Overholt, Editor & Manager
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-______________ y
Christmas 1907.
dow, wifey commenced crying, and
struck out for her mother’s, and it took
eight friends ?nd a block and tackle to
get her back »gain. Now this simply
grew out of ,a discrepancy and inequal
ity of presents. A man who would set
a precedent by giving his wife a spark
ler sets an example that cannot be se
verely reprobated. What is he going
to do next Christmas? He cannot give
her a zi ic washtub nor an improved,
self-adjusting clothes line. The fact
is, he has cooked himself for all time
and will either have to keep the Kim
berly stunt up until the grim Reaper
calls him hence to his fathers, or will
have to take time by the forelock and
seek death ’neath the waters of some
dark pool.
But, gentlemen, in conclusion: no
matter what you give, no matter what
your better halves give, don’t forget
about one week from Christmas Day to
hand her a great wad of bills, or a
handful of yellow gold, so she may go
forth joyously to the gorgeous empor
iums and there “blow” herself with
great eclat and with a great aplomb.
It is a beautiful thing to make a gift
at Christmas time, but how often is
the occasion overdone or underdone!
How many of us generous old codgers
present our wives and other close rela
tives with diamond tiaras, strings of
pearls, sealskin sacques (when you
spell it ‘sacques,” instead of sacks,
add a couple of hundred extra) auto An Ordinance to amend Section 1 of
Ordinance No. 108, entitled. “Re
mobiles and trips to Europe, and then
lating to certain animals, and pro
spend the next ten years humping our
hibiting their running at large within
selves to keep up the monthly pay
the corporate limits of the Town of
ments, wearing linen dusters, eating at
Jacksonville. Jackson County, Ore
free lunch counters and dodging the
gon.” and as the same appears of
ubiquitious constable to keep from be
record in Volume 3 at page 426 of the
ing run in for vagrancy? Hundreds of
Records of the Town of Jacksonville.
us!
Oregon.
The writer knew one poor old sucker
no other expression fits who made
The People of the Town of Jackson
his better half a Christinas present of
an eight hundred dollar sealskin. She ville, do Ordain as follows:
Section 1. That Section 1 of Ordi
kisseil him about ninety times a day
for a week when he up and died. nance No. 108, entitled, “Relating to
Within a few months afterward she certain animals, and prohibiting their
married again. One day the sexton running at large within the corporate
happened to be working near his grave limits of the Town of Jacksonville,
and hearing a peculiar noise, concluded Jackson Co., Oregon” and as the same
to open it. What do you suppose he appears of record in Volume 3 at page
saw? Why, you see the widow had 426 of the records of the Town of Jack
com.1 out to the grave with her second sonville, Oregon, be a:id the same is
husband several times, wearing her hereby amended to read as follows:
sealskin, and this made the first hus Section 1. No Stallion, Mare, Gelding,
band so mad that he had actually Colt, Jack, Ass, Mule, Cow, Bull, Heif
turned over in his coffin and had er, Calf, Steer, Ox, Sheep or Goat
scratched with his finger nail on the shall be allowed to run at large, or be
side of the coffin: “You d
d old herded in any of the streets, alleys or
fool, you!” Of course the above is an public places within the corporate lim
unusual ease, but much sorrow and its of the Town of Jacksonville.
Section 2. That all Ordinances or
misery come from the husbands mak
ing too expensive presents. If they parts of Ordinances in conflict herewith
make a good still' present and then get are hereby R epealed
Section 3. Whereas an emergency
hard up the rest of the Winter, they
never hear the last of it. If they make exists for the immediate operation of
some little dinky present say a couple this Ordinance, therefore the same
of window shades, or say a box of ci shall take effect and be in full force
gars, you eat in the kitchen with the from and after its passage.
The foregoing ordinance was duly
hired man the next two months.
passed
and adopted by the Board of
One incident came under the person
al observation of the writer several Trustees of said Town of Jacksonville,
years ago. The husband, in a wild, at a special session of said Board on
unguarded wave of unheard-of gener the sixteenth day of December, A. D.,
H. G. Dox,
osity, presented the wife of his bosom 1907.
Clerk
of
the
Board
of Trustees.
with the finest diamond ring he could
get. It was nearly thesizeof a robin’s
egg and shone so dazzlingly that one,
Holiday Rates.
alter looking into its lustrous depths,
Rate of a fare and a third will be
would have to go off and look at the
side of tt drab-colored barn to equalize granted by the S. P. Co. for the com
the brilliancy. Mis. Wife nearly had ing Christmas and New Year's holi
a fit when she got that ring, and after days, round trip to Oregon points,
first scratching the wiudow pane to see "Lines in Oregon.” Tickets will be on
if it was genuine and not a beautiful sale Dec. 23, 24, and 25 for Christmas
paste, she rushed into the other room and Dec. 30. 31 and Jan. 1 for New
and brought forth a pair of knitted Years. Return limit Jan. 2, 1908.
woolen slippers that could be bought in These are unusual liberal conditions.
the store for nineteen cents, and where These rates are for Oregon points only.
she had sewed across the left sole of Further information at the depot.
Ordinance No.
160-acre Ranch at
DUNFORD &
$1500
ON ERHOLT
*>
BANK OF • • •
JACKSONVILLE
• • •
CAPITAL STOCK $25,000
GEORGE L. DAVIS, President
JEREMIAH NUNAN, V. President
J A Y C. SEXTON, Cashier
RAY F. SEXTON, Ass’t Cashier
We do a general banking business.
Issue exchange.
Your business is respectfully solicited.
118
one of them: "Gul Keep Hubby
Home. ” This rather too suggestive
Of course you can get other things
present, outside of its aw ful cheapness, at the Boss, tobacco, cigars, etc., but
made hubby mad. He threw the slip CANDY pure home made candy, no
pers, motto and all. through the win adulterations, is the main feature.
Jacksonville, Oregon
r-----------------------
Where the Door
Opens Constantly
N
You can quickly heat and keep cozy the
draughty hall or cold room-No matter what
the weather conditions are-and if you
only kuew how much real comfort you can
have from a
Charter Oak Heater
YOu wouldn,t be without one an other hour.
All kinds of heaters from $3 up.
All kind cooking utensils, cook
Good Grade Cutlery.
etc.
Æ. D. HOUSTON
• • • • •
I
stoves,
Harness Shop in Connection
Masonic Huilding
__________
Chase & Sanborn’s
High Grade
Teas and Coffees
ULRICH BROS
Sole Agen*8