r t
INDEPENDENCE MONITOR
"THE PAPER THAT EVERYBODY READS"
VOL.5
INDEPENDENCE, POLK COUNTY, OREGON, FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 1916
NO. 7
THE RHYMING SUMMARIST
Our new bridge has broken down,
It cracked right thru the. middle
And so we must wait in patience
While courts and builders fiddle;
Some are saying the cement man
Didn't know how to mix it.
That will do to tell
But then oh, well,
Who the deuce will fix it?
Again the Civic Improvement League
Is meeting in its glory,
We love to see the ladies work,
But that's another story;
Its members are a strenuous bunch,
No duty ever shirking.
While men fuss,
Loaf and cuss,
The women folks are working.
School days are here again,
And judging by the looks,
The kids are getting read)' now
To open up their books;
Little John is in the dumps,
His big brother is remarking,
Johnnie's sad
But brother's glad
For the teacher he is sparking.
What about the justice race,
Are Bob and Elmer going?
It seems to be a tame affair
With neither man a blowing; "
The mornings sure are getting cool,
There can be no winter stopping,
So the best that you
Can up and do
Is to start your Christmas shopping.
p "ALWAYS ON THE JUMP" M
SPECIAL EXTRA
U. B. A.
SUNRISE EDITION
HUMAN VILLAINY.
pAHMER Johnson brought us In
a peck or sweet applee for bak
ing the other day, but by mistake
left them at the office of the Ga
lea. The human hyena who rune that
sheet knew well enough that they
were for us, but he gobbled onto
them and sent them to his home.
Could human villainy go further?
GOT OFF EASY.
Nearly three years ago we to'.d
Judso Wakefield, who dropped In
here from Missouri, that he hadn't
struck the right town and ought to
keep right on walking.
We didn't feel - bad because he
didn't subscribe for the Kicker,
but the way he wore his elbows out
on the various bars and his firm
attitude before free lunch counters
was agin him.
He also made himself very dis
agreeable In other ways, and our
advice was given In a brotherly
way.
He refused to heed It, however,
and the other night the boys put a
rope necktie on him and pulled
him up and let him down until
hs expressed great willingness to
move on.
He will probably have a sore
throat all winter, but he can con
sole himself that It Is no worse.
We watch thing pretty closely In
this town, and we never fall to
catch the drift of public opinion.
When we come out In leaded
brevier and advise a man to look
for another pasture, there's nothing
funny about It.
It's a very serious business, and
the rope Is hanging on a peg be
hind us.
A WARM WELCOME.
E received word the other day
' from Colonel John Fairbanks,
who is running a cactus farm about
twenty miles west of this town,
that he would try and come In some
time within a fortnight and shoot
us full of lead.
The colonel seems to have got
riled because we blasted his polit
ical ambition by proving that he
sold himself to both parties lost
year and ought to be rode nut of
Arizona on a three cornered rail.
We shall be home every day In the
week for the next month, and the
colonel needn't mind knocking on
the door when he calls.
lie may just walk right In and
begin popping away, and If he
downs us no one In the office will
do anything to prevent his getting
away.
We can feel our private graveyard
aching and yawning for anolier
victim.
W'e did feel like going off on a
little Jaunt for a few days, but we
gladly Hive It up.
Business before pleasure.
MUST MEND HIS WAYS.
Right now it may be well to say
a few words to Hank White, who
acts as bouncer for the Red Dog
saloon.
He has tried to kill three or four
men In the last four weektt. and we
believe him to be the party who
fired a dead rabbit through our bed
room window one night last week.
Unless he makes a great change
In his conduct tne bojs will get
up a surprise party on him soon,
snd these little affairs are never
pulled off without some one tatting
hurt,
- ii. QVAD.
I, U. MEETS
The first meeting of the Inde
pendence Civic League was
held in the Moose Club rooms
last Tuesday afternoon with a
splendid membership present.
An important feature of the
meeting was the opening address
by the president, Miss Lizabeth
Casper. Plans for the year were
discussed and a partial program
for the several meetings was
read and much interest was
manifested in the work already
accomplished by the executive
board of the League.
A committee appointed to
make plans for a luncheon dur
ing the stock sale included
Mesdames O. D. Dutler, J. E.
Hubbard and Sherman Hayes.
Mesdames P. M. Kirkland,
Claude Skinner and Clydu Ecker
were appointed a committee to
make plans for a Parent-Tei.ch-
ers reception to be given some
time in October.
Mesdames Geo. Conkey, L,
Crane and J. S. Cooper vere
pamed as a committee to arr( s
for a musicale to be given by
prominent musicians Oct. 25.
With the president, Mrs K. C
Eldridge will represent the local
club at Seaside where the state
federation convenes Oct. 9-12.
Mesdames J, S. Cooper and 0.
D. Butler were elected alternates.
" At the conclusion of the meet
ing Miss Cosper read interesting
side-lights from the last national
federation meeting in Chicago.
"CIVILIZATION"
"Civilization," the greatest
production ever seen" in Inde
pendence, was exhibited to a
S. R. 0. house Wednesday night
and a large crowd was present
in the afternoon. Masterpieces
of this class are few. "Civiliza
tion" is a demand for peace and
shows the direful results of a
military policy in government.
The managers of the theatre
are to be congratulated for se
curing this production and the
patronage will justify them in
booking many "high grades" in
the future.
THEN AND NOW
An item in the 25 year old
column of yesterday's Oregonian
mentions the fact that the har
vest in the Willamette valley is
over and that the total yield is
placed at 7,500.000 bushels. It
would be interesting reading if
the yield this year was known,
just for comparison. Salem
Capital-Journal.
At the present time of writing
nobody seems to know whether
the concrete bridge which gare
way last week, will be rebuilt in
whole or in part, or whether the
contractc -a or county will have
to foot the bill. But it is cer
tain tht in a few days, the
rainy season will commence and
a temporary road now going
thru an alley will become impas
sible and all traffic from the
north will have to be diverted
several miles in order to enter
Independance. So the people of
this city are much concerned
over the situation and are urg
ing that the speed limit laws be
annulled and somebo.iy get busy.
It seems to be the general
opinion that the broken structure
will have to be torn down and
that -f tit.; l-'Me can be
tved. ( ci-iim that much
'. t'i st iKtur. i.n je utilized
mid a lund'-i theories have
betii. v1v, '. j h it could be
fixer
i.e nlonmouth Herald this
week has tha following pertinent
eomment;
"The Fame thing caused the
Independtnce bridge disaster
that has paused trouble in count
less ways, in other places. Some
one was tareless. A few minutes
careless work applied at the
right poirl undid the good work
of a much longertime."
"The woi fat part of the Inde
pendence bridge blunder is that
it gives foundation for people to
criticise who have heretofore at
taeked thu project along sectional
lines. Tz? 'I told you so' chorus
is busy and the music it produces
sounds like the collission of a
sledge with a iheet of boiler
iron."
The Dallas Itemizer says:
"The Itemize' has in the past
consistently refrained from ad
vocating or supporting in any
way the recall of any public
official. If, however, it develops
that the taxpayers of the eou 'ty
are to suffer loss because of the
collapse of the Independence
bridge, it is time that the recall
be invoked against the two
(county commissioners through
whose apparent negligence and
lack of business methods this
condition of aiTairs has come to
pass."
OUR BROKEN BRIDGE TKE GOOD WORK OF A GOOD WOMAN
It was anuouueed this week that Mrs. Lucinda
Baldwin had -riven $10,000 to the McMinnville
j College, her second gfift to this institution. Sev
eral 3 ears ago she gave ,000. 1 his college is a
Baptist school, of which church she is a member.
Mrs. Lucinda Baldwin is one of the world's
best women. Of strong mind and character,
kind, grateful, a friend to all, and always ready
to extend a helping hand to those who by mis
fortune or poverty have been denied an equal
chance. She is not rich as the world counts
riches but what little she has is freely given if it
will make the world brighter and better. Her
own church in Independence, she has mothered
thru many trying circumstances and carried it
over many financial crises. It is no wonder that
the Baptists loye her and that there is always a
prayer for her in every Baptist heart.
THE SLANG OF YESTERYEAR
TT "HERE la tha slang of yeateryearT
TboM wordf and phrase r
That formerly Mulled our ear
Are Mldom beard today.
"Sboo, fly; don't bother me."
"Johnny, get your run."
"Ah. there tay there."
Well, bow are you. eon?"
REFUSED 12c
The hop market is firm and it
appears to be a foregone con
clusion that a fair if not a good
price will be obtained. A num
ber of offers of twelve cents in
this section were not taken.
The yield at the Wiprich
was 2u00 bales smaller than last
year.
WEST SIDE HIGHWAY
A number of Independenee
good road boosters attended a
nut-ting in McMinnville last
Saturday night, called for the
purpose of promoting thewst
side highway from Portland to
Eugene. It was voted to form
a permanent organization.
U'TTOLD vour horses, cully."
- "Don't you ffi too fly "
"Over the left." "you r a dude."
"Walt till I'.e clouda roll by."
Alas, the alar. of yesteryear,
hmphaiic, choice and terse.
Like much that old, "gives up the
ghust."
displaced by e-jnitl.Iiir worse'
- ineion Globe.
j CAMPAIGN TO START
j The political campaign will
open in Independence on Oct. 5
; when Hon. Hilt Miller will speak
in behalf of the Democrats. The
Republicans are planning on a
I meeting Oct. 10.
MARRIED
Adrian J. Dixon and Mrs.
Versa Linn, well known young
people of Independence were
married in Dallas last Saturday
afternoon by Rev. G. II.
Bennett. Their many friends
wish them much happiness.
Miss Etta Stonehotker and
Arthur Llk'ns, popular young
people of Ruena Vista, were
married Sunday at the homo of
the bride's parents. Rev. Orn
Wall officiating. Only relatives
were present. The happy young
couple will live at Duena Vista.
ASSOCIATION SUES
The Oregon Hop Growtra'
Association has commenced legal
action against Oscar Dick and
G. M. Opsund, two of iti mem
bers, to restrain them from sell
ing their crtps to dealers. Suit
against other members ii also
likely.
-
ONE CENT SALE . j
The Williams Drug Co. an
nounces its second great one.
cent sale of Rexall drugs and
sundries on Thursday, Friday
an! Saturday of next week.
Two for the price of one plus
one CL
5i
mi. JLFuwaci o vaiiiifi
j lit Get a Load From th Country
ooo Dy M. QUAD oo
11CN Mr. BmniT came liome In dinner the other evening Mri. Bow
tier hm! something to tell him ami she began at once.
"Mr. Bowser, our cat la running mad. 8h has been acting the
etrannest you ever saw. She hna run about the back yard tt If dof I
were after lier. Hhe hna run upatiilrs and down and uttered yeowla to
imike your hair stund up. I've had three or four neighbor In here
nnd every one. tells me that we ought to turn hor over to the police
and have hor Hliot. Hhe rait Into the library half an hour ago and
1 ehut tho door on her. I wish you would do something before dinner."
"Iet her alone till afterward," he repllod. "She probably ha got a fit of
some kind nnd I think I can bring her out of It."
When the Ilowaera went up to the alttlng room he took a look Into the IN
brnry. The cat waa Inducing In a aort of war dunce In the middle of the floor
and he hud to clone the door quickly aa she made for him. II euld be would
go over to thu drug More and aee If ho could gut aome remedy. II want over
and muted the raae and tho druggist replied: " s -
"Not one cut III a thounund ever run mad. Mi tell you what I think alia
your cat. At this aenaon of tho year every cat la wild about catnip. It I ft
tonic for them. If they don't fc'et it they are liable to file. I hav got package
of catnip, but the plant la old and dry. You had better aend the boy out Into
the country to buy you a bundle. Moat of the farmera rata It, and when you
get It home your cat will bo for It like fun."
Mr Ilowser returned home and repeated what the druggist had said, and
added.
"I remember now how our cats ue to act when they wanted catnip. 1 am
not very Iukv at the oitlce now and I'll go out Into the country myself tomor
row. We will leave the cat rltcht where she Is and set a dlah of water and lorn
food lit thu room."
Mr. liowaer wn up and had his breakfast an hour earlier than usual. II
looked Into thu library before he went and found the cat In about the same oon-
(lit Ion.
"I'll be buc k In tho ufternoon some time," he aald to Mrs. Bowser, "and fit
give our darned old cat a feaHt that will last her five years."
Ho took th suburban car and rode seven miles. When he got off hs mad
straight for a farmhouse In view. There was an old farmer splitting wood and
every time h" brought 'he nx down he uttered a vigorous "hal"
.11
.-.e.l.:
.ci. I... . 'a.,., ,nf" - sr w
i i.'vn v-v t.uif
- j
BROKE INTO A RUN.
"How are you y, stranger?" saluted the fanner. "What might you b and
whnt do you wnnl ?"
"My name l Howaer," replied the owner of It. "and I am looking for som
cai iitp."
I thought you might want to buy a farm and mine Is for sale. But corn
to think of It, I never saw a bald headed farmer yet. Why don't you try sotn
h'i- tnedii me on your e ulu and ralso a crop of hair?"
"I crime hern for catnip, lr," replied Mr. Howiot with great dignity.
"Oh, es. Well, I've got a heup of It bark of the houe. Vour cat Is gnttln'
hungry f it It. 1 r kon. You are a darned good man to come out here on ao
count of your cat. Come on In. I'll sell you all the catnip you want for tea
cent
Mr. Iio"tr produced the money and the farmer had noon got a whol arro
ful of the I -land. Mb went Into the h'umi and returned with a big sheet of pa
per and a ball of twine und soon had a nlte pa' kae to pla under Mr. Iiow
uer'H arm.
Nothing ha rp tied to that catnip until Mr Bowser got off the cur to walk
the three blocks to liU home. Mr. Bowser had scarcely left the car when ft
stray rat came runMng toward him. He hud scarcely noticed her when St
Secrid 'at an.e and then a thud and fourth, and. Just ax the fifth cam up, ft
pe'l'-'.fH.m .aw.l to 1,1m :
".': pun, you h ive, got atnio In that lemdle. Y u I ad better get out of
(Continued on pag 4)