'.' ..I. INDEPENDENCE MONITOR THE PAPER THAT EVERYBODY READS" VOL.4 INDEPENDENCE, POLK COUNTY, OREGON, FRIDAY, JULY 28, 1916 NO. 50 THE RHYMING SUMMARIST Soon the Baptist clan will monarch all, And loudly blow its whistles, The choir will sing- its very best, And clergy expound the 'pistles; A larger church has just been built, All hail to their local curate, . Young men and dears, Give three loud cheers For your preacher, Walter Stewart. Newport life would sure be fine, If there were no frigid friskers, When J. S. Cooper returned this week, He found sea shells in his whiskers; Hops are hopping on the vines, With no little lice a ticking", So Alary Jane, If it don't rain, Will soon be found a picking. Independence folks who took a chance, Got nothing- in the drawing, Some of the girlies' bathing suits Are brief but very awing; A man has been troubled much, He asks that the spoons skedaddle, So some maws And yes the paws, Should bear down upon the paddle. When Satan Came r I And Moses Reformed :;: Miri- whs when eery one In tlie village uf Calfai auk! tUal iosc: r.H'WBtrr was one of Hie most hustling young men In the i' lie nils n house painter by trade. :iiil be was at work l.c.'iiie si mi e anil seldom quit bis Inborn before Unit luminary h i.l ::nr out of slht There were those who predicted thai wllhin a vear Moses would be eating chii ken potpie four times it week. In ilie time Moses ceased to hustle long enough to get married. He married l'risclll.i lio.mea. an average girl who Imd Ikvii brought up by a step mother ever sin- e sile "as three y ears old and had been so dominated that she had little or no will of her owu If she was told to do this or that she did It If she got a cuff on the ear she went away to weep by herself. At any rule. Uiey were married, and the last cuff she tp-eivul on the eiir waa bestowed on the morning f her bridal day If Moses hadn't found n wife bo do cile and obedient and gentle minded, if he had round a wife who would talk back and arsue and storm around once In awhile, he might have continued to be a hustler As It was, he took ad vantage of her disposition, and they had not been married more than a year when he was doing very Illtle toward the support of the family, while she whs working by the day for tbe uelgh xns. Things kept going from bad to worse for a couple of years until Moses be came a drunkard. Then the synipa thrtic neighbor took a hand. They dex ided to 'one Mr. It re water to re form her husband. One summer's night when the over tired wife sat on the back steps of her house and Moses was Oiling up as usual at two or three saloons things middenlv Lamwiied. Out of the dark cess uf the Imi k yard suddenly appeared old Mi. Fntun and three or four of his usslstauis. There were horns and hoofs imd spike tails, and there was a smell of burning biiinstone In the air. "Who who are you?" asked the woman In a quivering voice. "I uni Satan, and these are my satellites." replied the old boss as he rattled his hoofs together, "and we have come for your husband. We are going to escort him to the hottest corner In my dominions and there let him roast, roast, roast!" Mrs. Brewster was terrified, but on her pleadings Satan and his minions left when she promised to horsewhip her husband Into decency, lie came home drunk, as usual, and rilled Into bed. When he awoke next day his wife stood beside his bedside, and she held a horsewhip in hi r hand. "Moses," she said. "I have got .o give you a licking. I have promised Satan that I would do It. and do it I will, although It may break my heart. If I don't lick you, vou will be taken to tbe bad place and rousted alive. Von may holler and boiler, but I will have to put ou the wi.lp juat the same." "Don't yon do it, Prisc-lIla."' he cried out P.ut Pri Ilia did It. She whlpied and wbi pel until she had to rest her arm. Moses crhiged and cried for mercy, but no men y w as shown Ho w as given half an hour and then lamiied again. This continued during the day till Moses In uxony ased out that be would swear to work sin days a week all the rest of bis natural life. lie was given three or fi.ur cuU to bind the barg.iin and !!.pu released There were tears In bis eyes, but none In hers . when she heUed him from bis bed. Moses di :;i t seek revenge vt uen tie could whie aooiu au'ain oe sought k' liteal. lie b uaie once more the hustler of tbe village. The news . i nr.. iu 1 that bis wife bad licked blui into It. but uotblng was said to liumi Lite him, and uotolng bad ever beeu said 10 his wife to make bir d.mt't tiial old S.itan came that evening lu persou. Husband and wife 1.1 e i-c.iing along as w ellaa any one, thank you, and they never refer to unpleasant episodes. M. jCAD. '.' pT!isi.t UiS. McClure Newspaper Syndicate. mm "Who Who Are YouT' If it takes this long to plan the Salem bridge, how long will it tafce to build it after it is commenced? GOOD FIRE North Independence contin ues to improve in appearance. Last Saturday night, another shack, which was not inhabited, burned down. The north side will eventually become the best residence section of the city, and an occasional fire helps to hasten that day. HOP NOTES According to a survey of con ditions in the hop fields of the Willamette valley, this year's crop will probably be equal to the highest yields ever record ed. 'ith almost an entire ab sence of lice and mold, the pros pects could not be better for a bumper crop. The period from now until picking begins, the first week in September, might bring some unfavorable, unfor seen condition, but growers are not expecting anything to hap pen to prevent a record yield from every hop producing dis- tiict. Portland Telegram. CHANGE MISSED Editor Monitor In a paper that I get from back east, I no tice that in some places they are hiring experts to help the fanners farm scientifically. I wonder why our Oregon re formers ever let them do it first They must have been asleep tc let a chance like that slip to give some more lazy bucks good i'at jobs." Farmer Rill." LARGE CROWD ATTENDS Up to and including Tuesday i ight, 105 Independence people hud witnessed the "Hirth of a Nation," at Salem. Those in at tendance on Wednesday would probably make the total over 150. No similar attraction in a neighboring town ever drew as; large a crowd from Indepen dence. The manager of the Grand opera house, in Salem certainly iound out the worth of Monitor dvertitiing and he will see that other attractions coming to the treatre during the winter sea- ton are Drought to me atten tion of Independence people. NO CONGESTION The V. & S. railroad bridge i lid the county bridge over the Luckianiute will not be "con gested." The matter has been ettled by moving the county bridge 300 feet to the east of it? .resent location, the railroarl ompany contributing $1,350 so hat the change might be made. RECALIERS BUSY The recall promoters are about ready to commence the circulation of the petitions for the recall of the county court. Extravagance is charged, prin cipally because of the Indepen dence road improvement. Mose Mansion, nominated against Wells, has declined and become neutral the Observer says. As Mr. Mansion's nomination for the regular term was brought about principally thru the efforts- of the faction now engaged in the recall business, there are many who think that Moso should have staid by his friends. ISETTER MAIL FACILITIES The semi-weekly mail from alem to Dallas and other point west of the river, has been haned to a tri-weekly mail leaving Salem every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.-- Port -'and Orcgonian, July i!5, BAPTIST WEEK The program of the dedica-ik.-.i services of the First Bap tist church, which takes place August 7, 8, It, 10, 11, 12, and 13, Is published in this Monitor. Addresses will' be made each evening by well known speak ers and from beginning to end the enthusiasm and attendance will be great. The addition to the church was secured only by lots of hard work and hustle by the pastor Rev. W. S. Stewart, a. id members of the church and they have reason to feel proud of what they have accomplished. PAVING OPPOSED Monmouth, in its effort to pave several blocks of its Main street, is meeting with consid erable opposition. That legal steps will be taken to prevent the proposed improvement is evident. Thomas Houlden, in a notice to the public, says that "provided the honorable mayor and city council pave Main street and change the boundary ol said street, we will make our best endeavor to see that said city 'council pay for the same out of their own purse or pro vide some other way of paying for said improvement outside of collecting it from the abutting property ow ners." CORRECTION Iast week's Monitor mention ed that James Manna had pur chased an interest In a garage. but inadvertantly put him in al !he wrong place. Mr. Manna is now part owner of the Skinner garage and not the one belong ing to 1 1. L. Filchard. ASKS TOR RELIEF An Independence citizen de sires the Monitor to state with out mentioning any names, that he seriously objects to two kid rjuples staging love scenes on Lis front porch every night from 11 p. m. to 2 a. m. and leaving (igarette stubs, gum wrappers, ami paper sacks scattered pro miscuously around. He sug gests that if their love has reach e.l that point where mama'-1 slipper and papa's boot will not cure it and they are so hopeless ly in to it that nothing but mat rimony will get them out of it, ,i:id if they must have a trysling place until the happy hour ar rives that bis front, porch be va ulted during the remainder ol the silly season and a schedule arranged so that otjier citizens share the suffering. For next eek he suggests the following apportionment: Sunday night, V, I(. Harnett's porch; Monday night, W. K. Craven's; Tueda night, J. S. I'.ohaiinon's; Wed nesday night, J. H. Cooper's: Thursday night, E. M I'addoekV i'iiday nigh', O. I). Hutler'n ami Saturday night, V'erd Hill's - THANKS The Southern Pacific donated two cars of granite for the ,.. hool grounds and Monday the officers of the parent-teachers' association received a lettei from I). W. Campbell, Assistant Cenera! Manager, which read "i wish to thank you for the thoughtful action taken by the association, and to assure you it gave this company much pleasure to assist in making the school grounds more attractive." DEDICATION SERVICES OF THE FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH OF INDEPENDENCE, AUGUST 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 SUNDAY MORNING ionium ltev. O. C. Wright Superintendent of Rapt ist Missions of Oregon. SUNDAY EVENING dedication Service Sermon by Hev. t). C. Wright MONDAY OLD FOLK'S NIGHT. "The Christian Hope." Hev. 0. F. Holt Pastor of First Haptist churc h of Salem. TUESDAY YOUNG PEOPLE'S NIGHT Address Mrs. K. Hurton President of Oregon U. Y. P. U. After the service a recepdon will be held in the basement by the Yuosday Evening Club. WEDNESDAY PRAYER MEETING NIGHT ' The Spiritual Mission of the Church". .Prof. F. O. Houghton Member of McMinnville College Faculty. THURSDAY YOUNG MEN'S NIGHT "Little Lives vs. Pig Lives" Hev. (Jeo. K. Young Pastor of First, Haptist church of Albany Agoga Class in charge of service. ( FRIDAY CHURCH MEMBER'S NIGHT Address Hev. E. Hurton Pastor of First Haptist church of Corvallis After the service a reception will be held in the basement by the ladies of tie church. SATURDAY The Annual Sunday School and Church Picnic. SUNDAY MORNING Social Christianity," Hev. W. S. Stewart SUNDAY EVENING tiospel Sermon l'rof. J. Sherman Wallace Member of McMinnville College Faculty After the sermon, the baptistry will be dedicated and believer's baptism administered. The public is cordially invited to attend all of the services con nected with the dedication of our church. This is to be a week of intellectual uplift, for the'promotion of good fellowship, and for the deepening of our spiritual fervor. The morning services will begin at eleven and the evening ser vices at eight. At every service some talented filnger will render .! musical number. HURRAH FOR DEAN WALKER Invitations have been received announcing the marriage of Miss Virginia Adell Petersen and fr Dean II. Walker at the Grace Episcopal church in Astoria on Tuesday evening, August 15, 1916. try fl miMIUlUUYl'HFF 'AJJBffiS ON THE JUMP 8 PEC I A I j EXTRA U. H. A 8 UN" RISE EDITION DESERVED HIS FATE. Hot'T iw wffkH .'ik" " i'jitin ln;t ri t.y Oio tilllild of KrM:U tti -rv-.l Iuti- tn Invest In n nilvcr mini). ilo uiiiii': ..i bwit i.f a e It v..m n 'Ha u l.e could (it nut a j.rojM-'-l un, uiKunlZM a cint,uny ali'l fl.;it Inn ft!.Ht-x on tl'fl KuJIlMe pul'lli'. Kuliic 'r. lilot nil nrlt, of litml on CHI U IIJlitniK' iri'iunt.iln, lind Mr l-'retM li Ul-iit up Ihrrt to make h ioji( of II nii'J kill-i lv a Ixar. We irual li.nl Iii IikI lmp.y, Hurt n h'.mi .'UOKlHtulMH lha j.ijOIIc wlioln t Wuljl'i hnv ewhniltd. THE BOYS CAN SHOOT. An a t'! ' f Urn iiiiiikMiriimi'Mp In 0 ; lown .ni on a IiIuk loit lie o'r..r i;iy at.'l allirlwi down ApiiWi av.Mle i '.'I " i li.il we li;ol norm two I1 h me i-liot o:f our )..-,! Willi lull-M, ,iti,' i .- ttf run on our liair It w iul.lt. rn.il oili. ui.'l I.f J! t!l I'M VI 'U 111- I 1 Il lltll.U tAlSli- I, ,iif..r".t ii''ti tr.U at I; e (.at LEFT OY REQUEST. A , -r I t- .lin.ia ruin- ;,.i .an ruiva ti.ft inyaterl'JU .io uf n mail imiuiiij Ixin : -i i i.i I ! I fl.T 1 111: : i-r I- U li'. i lr. KH-ier l hrivM for t.'tah. I la an 'An H iUjreiJ hlul it: would v. ,i .i not I.Im waya. and , I'! I i ti-.l ii 'i,t lift ll(J 1'ltxl tU V. ,ifii'ii-"ti lie I una: In l.'iah l ,. ill "ir u i ..it ol't-r, tiut that . t,f o jr ;., .K"i.t CHANGED HIS MIND. tfil-iiNIOI. IMW8UN, who live on " ' iiin lii-t t'luy road, ta (ood lii'inttnl in. in, hut H rrank. w !. thai in our laat laaua. and i.i m nine aliiM'd Ilia papar auid itiit'HieriMl to alioitt ua. Wo mill! out to lila lioiria yaatardar rid liail It nut with hlin thai la, we li ova him uniJei cover, Ilrad twanty iii i.ulletM aruuriil hla eaia and racolv ' il I. la aurroi "lr and a naw aubarrtii- loll Ua have to do thla twlco a year, but .il do It i-l, i'i i lull and ahould ! real hi i y to hrar of ilia colonel a death. OUR POLITICAL POLICY. II ivum our liitenilun to run (or tha lufiauliiiicy ihla yuar; but, aa no ona lw. Hiiemad lu have Inlanllona that way. we Invl to Klva up tha Idea. :. bvr n.iinJ, however, thareare yeara lg cuina we defy him. While wa war on our way noma 'mm a card party tfca other nlf ht at inldnlKht aome ona fired all ahota a4 ua from amhuah. Not a bullet came within a loot of ua, and for llila reaaon wa believe thai tha aaulhir waa our eatae tried cinlanv porary. Ha never haa and never will be able to ehiK.it for ahufka. fcrery tlma ha Irma It ha only tnrowa away food load. He necilti't alt up flliia to let a pop i,t ua We II atand before him at thir ty fat any day at Man noon and kat htm plunk away all ! wama to. M. QUAD. Time for the Poison initiate new members. Oak Club to meet and