a. NDEPENDENCE MONITOR "THE PAPEK THAT EVERYBODY READS" VOL.4 INDEPENDENCE, POLK COUNTY, OREGON, FRIDAY, JULY 21, 1916 NO. 49 THE RHYMING SUMMARIST Off to Newport still they go, It is a pleasant lark, Unless perhaps a few of them, Are gobbled by a shark; Heaven's faucets were turned on, The hay was down in floods, And so the cqw And Berkshire sow, Will-have to chew their cuds. Presbyterian folk in session met And w'isely picked a pastor, He will do them worlds of good And make the church grow faster; Wedding bells are due to ring, And many are supposing As the end is near Of leaping year The girls are all proposing. The ladies of a certain club Among the tops and uppers, Dragged their poor hubbys out, Bui gave the things their suppers; Scores are after a piece of land, To be luck)' in the draw, This we pen, The single men, Should also get a squaw. The V. ec S. is coming soon, They saj its on the level, And Pastor Stephens is back again, To help combat the devil; Berries were picked from every bush, In all the neighboring thickets, And Homer Wood Says it looks good For Wood row and his ticket. HONEST ABE, U. S. M. He Writes HKN 1 got along to Farmer James Foster's the other day he was at the gate to say us he solemnly shf"H !.Ij head: "Abe, In the midst of life we are In death." m wg I eS, DUl in toe nuufcl I rl"r' we nave to nustlH-" X I "Well, you don't hustle ' , .... penea ana UU U HTCWO old poetry for everybody but me for ten miles around, and here Is where I come in. I have been ahook with ex citement for the last week, and my old wife has been Bhook, and my daughter 8uie Jane has had to take to her bed and like enough will never leave It, for her heart Is mighty near broke at what happened last week." "And what happened? I was away last week, you know." "Why, the awfulest thing that ever took plate," he answered. "Didn't you know that Sam Slippy, son of Old Man Bllppy, was no mure on this earth?" 'I haven't heard a word of It." I went Into the house with him and found out all the particulars an-1 then Bet to work and wrote the obitu ary required. It came to me as easy as a sawlog rolling downhill. All 1 had to do was to touch a lead pencil to my tongue and away went the verses as follows: Now, Fanner James aa parlant to A gral named Susan Jane. And her look continued tniotiful In mud or enow or rain. And 8usan J me, she had a beau. His Hrsl tin me It was Sam: And he was lull of energy And push und rush and slam. One summer's Sunday afternoon As they stood by the fence a-woolng. And talking of the turtle oves That all around were cooing A bull came up and looked at Sam And then he gave a beller; And then he pawed up loads of earth Just like a bluffing feller. When I had finished this ode and read ito ir stood In the eyes of the farmer and sobs shook the frame of his wife. Although Miss Susan Jane was upstairs In her room with the door locked and her head covered up with the bedclothes, we could hear her crying as If she would never smile again. The ode also affected me, but nevertheless I managed to eat half a mince pie before I left the house The poetry will tie framed and hi ng at the head of the girl's bed. When I got to the blacksmith's shop at the Red Bridge I found old Jtm Sprlgue sitting in the dr of his shop with his head In his hands. Of course I asked him what was the matter, and he told me He la a grim faced old man and not much given to sentiment, but I thought I' di -overed a slight wabbling to his chin as he answered me that his wtf" was dead and asked me if I wouldn't write a verse or two that he might hann up among those horseshoes to remind him of her many noble qualities . - Jim had alays been obliging to me. and I cheerfully wrote for him: Jtm Spngue s site, she is no more; Sne's gone where ane;s sing. Where harp en4 silver be'ls and slcb They keep the air a -ringing. "That s r'ght to my hrart," said Jim. 'V- juw It says that I shall rr.arry e.gitn. and dog-gone my cats If I don't' I'm not goln' to trot round here t:l me and do my own housekeeping I'm sorry the old woman deeded t- i e hut It was the will of heaven, am I'm not g .m' to kick :theut It M QUAD C pyrght tr.4. MeClure Newspaper ("yndl-ate Obituaries Ul llir, rf---.uiiy miai ui mail 1 replied one rod until you hear what has hap- . V..., I.a... ..-pi. ..,.A i"i wic i'iu ua.., .nv juui uuiwcu Stood by the Fence A-wooiny. And Sam slid quickly from the fence. And In his plan perailMted: He got a hold of that bull's tail And then he pulled and twisted. The bull revel-Bed 'twas horns, not tails And he rent Sam a-fiylng. t.'p. up went Sum into the blue. And he canie down a-dylng. Some fortv bor.es or more were broke. HeHlde the cptnal column. Such wat the vicor of the bull And euch his strength and volume. I'mler a ew they buried Sam, And o er tilm plenty of roses. And he r as knocked at heaven's gate I'oor Susan Jae supposes. It's left poor Jlrn all stark alone: He has no one near him. But he wiii take another wife And have some one to cheer him. DUNSMORE CHO.tN At a meeting of the members of the lYesbyterian church Wed nesday night, Dr. H. C. Duns- more was invited to become pas tor of the church and no doubt he will accept. The doctor is one of" the most able and elo quent pulpit speakers iu the state and his selection as pas tor will greatly benefit the com munity as well as the church. It is planned to give him a royal welcome Sunday morning. . HOP NOTES The present weather is very conducive to a erood hon cron. Sjlem hop men say. The hop vines will begin to bloom in about two weeks. Neither lice nor mildew is noticeable on the vines this summer, a contrary condiUon to a year ago, when both were general in the hop sections. Salem Statesman Locally the hops have a fine culor and are still making an excellent growth. Vermin are lew. A period of hot weather is the chief need this month (.rowers consider the crop pros- jitx-is improving, nut ntue en couragement is felt over the puce prospects. Aurora Obser ver. FED TIaEIR HUSBANDS The Wednesday Afternoon Club enjoyed a most pleasant meeting with Mrs. L. L. Hewitt on Weduesday of last week. ieeuie wore, music, anu a K 11 .. ... splendid luncheon were Indulg ed in. On Friday the members of the club entertained their hus bands with a picnic supper, later going to the Eldridge home, where delightful amusement was furnished until a late hour. MARRIED At the home of Pastor Steph ens, at 1:20 p. m., July 18th, Mr. Jrnest C. Brundridge and Miss j ina Stalnaker were united in larriage in the presence of se lected witnesses. May much joy attend their way. "NOT IN THE MONITOR" Editor Monitor Why wasn't .iy party in the Monitor? Host- ss. Your "party was not in the lonitor" solely because the Ionitor did not know you had a arty. Never take chances on lie Monitor finding out every liing. Phone or write w hen you have a party, get married, (,o away, company comes to see you, have a baby, etc. This ap plies more especially to our leaders living in the country. Every woman, who reads the paper, is appointed a special cor espondent for the Monitor. The . lore she writes or phones, the Letter it will suit us. DIED After an illness of several veeks, Mrs. P. It. Uurnett, moth er of Mesdanies Sherman Hayes. C. W. Irvine, and Florence Whit eaker, of Independence, died at her home in McMinnville Wed nesday morning. Mrs. liurnett '.s well known in Independence, as her husband was pastor of the Christian church here at one time. The sympathy of Inde pendence friends is extended to the bereaved daughters. . M. C. and F. A. William went o Portland Wednesday to at tend the funeral of their uncle, Wes William.-;, a pioneer of Ore-son. I RAIN SPOILS HAY The rains of last week, some tning unusual for Oregon, dam aged the hay crop greatly. The larger part of it was caught be tween the mower and the stack Most of the clover will be unfit for horse feed and the grass hay will be black. THE BIRTH OF A NATION "TJhe liirth of a Nation," ap pearmg at the C.rand Opera house, iu Salem, on Mundav, Tuesday and Wednesday, of next week, afternoon and even ing, is the most stupendous and spectacular enterprise ever pro uueeu, ii.uuo scenes, 18,000 characters, 3,000 horses, cities burned, battles, artillery duels, .n which real shells are used, the assassination of Lincoln, in all, 12,000 feel of film, accompanied by 30-pi"re orchestra. It' yon 'ail to se it, you are missing the greatest production of the times. NEEDLECR AFTERS The Needlecrafters were the guests of Mrs. Crosby Davis, at her attractive Seventh street home, yesterday afternoon. 1'ietty flowers of riotous hues and airay from the hostess' own well-kept gardens, decked the rooms where the guests plied their needles and visited. The afternoon was rounded out with a delicious luncheon, Mrs. Davis thoroughly sustaining her well established reputation for being a splendid epicurean. V. S. B - "BILL" LOSES HIS HAY Editor Monitor: The clover hay has been knocked out by t lie Oregon rains. We can bland a big lot of the good old Oregon mist, but when it gets to pouring down in July, as it did this year, goodby to the clo ver. We may be able to fool 'he cows into eating it, but that's :;11. No respectable horse will eat it 'as long as there is any of the manger left. I regret to re port t he failure of the clover crop localise everything on the place cits it except the hired man. "Farmer Hill." GOOD TIME TO MARRY The marriage of several prom inent people is scheduled to take dace between this time anr.Sep iinber 1st. In tin: opinion ot the Monitor, this is an ideal time to get married. The hap py pairs can spend their honey moon in the bop yards and so ake money enough to start them up in housekeeping. iUVER BREAKS RECORD The river is !.! feet above low water on the 18th day of July id the oldest inhabitant will )i ive considerable difficulty in remembering a time when the ver was at. this unusually high iage at this time of the year. Ordinarily, by the middle of July the rver is barely above the zero uage mark and boats are takeu if on account of the low stage Salem Capital .Journal. LANDMARK GONE The popcorn vender, who has been stationed on the corner of (' and Main streets fof several vears, quit business mis wee. High license was given as the reason for quitting, by the pro prietor. POPULATION INCREASES With hop picking time draw ing near, many families are I moving in. THE "RECALL" GOES ON About thirty-five members of the Taxpayers' League assem bled in the circuit court room of the court house last Saturday to nominate candidates to op ;i .so the members of the county c.nirt in a recall election, which it had been previously decided to initiate. In the absence of i resident Harry Hutz, Vice I 'resilient K. F. Rogers, of Oak dale, presided. K. A. Gwinn i' ted as temporary secretary. The first man recognized by the chair was J. K. Sears, of McCoy, wjio launched into a bit ter den uncial ion of our esteem ed contemporary, the Observer, branding certain recent refer ees to the recall movement in ih.it publication as being delib erate talsohoods, Mr. Sears,, i bile sparing the Itemizer from ;he fury of his wrath, stated 'that, no support to this move ment can he expected from it her of Ihe county papers, as iith have been subsidized." At e conclusion of Mr. Sears' veech, Mr. Rogers and one or mo others also took u rap at lie Observer. After more or less talk the .leeting finally got down to the Msiness for w hich it was called, ind nominations for the var THE CANDIDACY OF MR. PETRE Whether by accident or design, the recall pro moters added to their strength by nominating S. I. Petre for county jugde. 1 here are many a great many, who while present recall movement, would look upon his candidacy with much favor. " gg CgTY pAR The Monitor hopes that the i'olk County Fair of PJ1G will be the best one over had and that i' will be largely attended by .Monitor readers. From the reliuiiiiary announcements, it ; npears that it will be worth jnir attention. Says the man agement: "The lair management wants ine residents of I'olk county to eel that this institution belongs t.) them, and that its promotion and success depends largely up ,11 the interest they manifest in ,t. There is no good reason ,vliy Polk cannot boast of the best county fair held in the state, and it can, if residents of the various sections will only put a shoulder to the wheel in Its be- ,;tll'. From an educational standpoint it is worth while; the amusements and entertain ments which are calculated to ;orm a part of the l'Jltt fair, He Got Till; poiicu received a cull few night ao that a man, iippiircntly intoxicated, had fallen a'dri'd a weigh ing ma'tjiiie iii ffnt of a tore in Virginia avenue and wan belicM'd to be hurt Meriouxly. Two bicycle policemen were in-lit to iliv-tigale. They returned to tin: police station a short time later und reported to the captain that the report must have Ixen fiJe. At any rate, they were unable to find any one who hud been injured, they huid. Sergeant Ibchter via kitting in the utation at the time and overheard the bicycle men's rejort. "That's eaxily solved," Miid Itichter. "The follow probably saw you cops coniing, dropped a nickel in the lut anI got a weigh." Indianapolis News. THE BEST JOKE OF THE SEASON Attempting to recall Commissioner Wells when he is already looking for his hat. ious offices to be filled by the re call were made. Ex-county Commissioner S. II. Petre, of Airlie, and E. F. Rogers were named for county judge and a ballot resulted in Petre receiv ing U votes, Rogers 12. U. S. Grant 3, and one for "Mr. Rob erts." The chair declared Mr. Petre the nominee. For com missioner to succeed George A. Wejls, William Riddle, of Mon mouth, and Mose Manston, of Pallas, the regular Republican nominee were named. Retort) a ballot was taken, however, Mr. Riddle'B name was withdrawn and Mr. Manston was declared the nominee by acclamation. Fir commissioner to succeed Clyde W. lieckett, FM. Luce, of I :rnsh College, and Geo. McCul- lough, of Rroadmead, were nam ed, the ballot resulting in the litter's nonihvion. A motion prevailed that. In case any of the candidates nom inated refused to run, the next highest in the balloting should be the nominee. A committee composed of J. K. Sears, M F. Rogers, and Mr. Waite were named to prepare I'lid circulate petitions for sig natures for the recal. Polk County Itemizer. not in sympathy with the while a very necessary adjunct, should be of secondary consid eration. From the present In dications we have every reason for believing that the coming event will eclipse all previous efforts in this direction , the board having been assured of the hearty co-operation of agri culturists, horticulturists, stock men, dairymen, and other allied interests, not to mention the business people of the several communities within the baili wick. Rut there Is a part for all to play to make the Polk County Fair the pronounced success for which we hope, and we earnestly Bollclt,your assis tance in bringing about the de sired result. If you have some thing to exhibit, enter the con tent, not alone for the premium that may be offered on that par ticular article, but that others may profit from your experien ces and from your success." Away-