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T H E
O L K
C O U N T Y
POST.
MISCELLANEOUS THOUGHTS
IN SHORT PANTS
ECKER & CURRIE, Publishers
And none over.
—x—
Win Huff
—x—
Published Twice a Week
Monday night at six o'clock
—x—
A man came to town
—x—
And everything was closed
—x—
'So he came to
—x—
The Post
—x—
And wanted to know
—x—
If it was Sunday
—x—
And when he was told
—x—
That it wasn’t Sunday
—x—
He wanted to know
,
—x—
If somebody was dead.
—x—
Then we told him
—x—
About the change of time
—x—
And he laughed
—x—
And said
—x—
He would come to town
—x—
Some morning
— x —
After he got the chores done
—x—
And see the town
—x—
Get up.
—x—
We told him
—x—
The town got up all right
—x—
And he said,
—x—
“But when?”
—x—
Then he commenced
—x—
To laugh again—
—x—
And we asked why the joy
—x—
And he said
at Independence, Polk County, Oregon, on
Tuesday and Friday
Application made for Entry as Mail Matter of the Second Class
Subscription Rates:
$1.50 a Year Strictly in Advance; Six Months
$1.00; Three Months 50cents.
CLYDE T. EC .ER, Editor.
J. F. CURRIE, Business Manager
NOTHING TO IT BUT OLCOTT”
Go down the street and ask the first ten men you meet
who will be nominated for governor, and the above in
substance, will be the answer o f seven o f them.
Try it.
Two more will reply, “ That man from the coast may
have achance, but he isn’t well enough known to be a vote-
geter.”
One out o f the ten will answer, “ I don’t believe Olcott
will be as popular for governor as secretary o f state.”
He is for W ithy combe.
I f there is anyone for Moser he must be hiding.
Olcott will be nominated for governor by the same big
pluralities which the people have returned him as secre
tary o f state— that’s our judgment.
He is the most popular state official in Oregon. He has
brains, careful judgment, high business ability and his
backbone isn’t a garden hose. This paper believes he
would make a most satisfactory governor; that he wTill
sweep the state in the primaries and he w on’t know he has
opposition in the general election.— Benton County Cour
ier.
JE LLY , JU ICES AND JA M
W H A T HO YOU SUPPOSE HE GOT
“ Hello, Central, give me Heaven,” but that isn’t what
she gave him.
A.
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P LE A SE PASS TH E W ORM S
(Dallas, Texas, News)
Chisels and churns, chisels and churns— if you don’t
raise chickens you may have to eat worms.
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T H A T ’S RIGHT, JUDE, SHOW ’EM UP
(Atchison Globe)
Jude Johnson says he’s the only member of the local
home guards who keeps in step.
— x—
BET ON THE W IDOW E V E R Y TIM E
(Florida Times-Union)
One widow who’s known as Mrs.
When placed mid some men and some girls
Will always win all o f the krs.
In spite o f pink cheeks and fair curls.
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LUM -TE-DUM -TO-DEEDLE-DEE
(A d in Caldwell, N. J., paper)
Wanted— W ife to clean and scrub, mend my socks and
cook my grub. Must be handsome, bright and gay, thir
ty-two if she’s a day. Widow woman not deterred— one
kid, maybe, none preferred. She must have some cash to
spend; an intellect with learned trend. She must be a
music lover; fond of me and nary other. That is what m y
w if must be— lum-te-dum-te-deedle-dee.
— x—
A M ISSOURI PR O V E R B
A paved street tastes lo t s better than an unpaved one.
C E R TA IN L Y NOT— DON’T IN TE R FE R E
(Altona, Kan., Tribune)
Women are the best garden makers in the world. They
seem to know just what to plant and when to plant it.
The American women are the smartest and most beauti
ful women in the world. The American people will never
starve with such tine women to make and tend gardens, j
And their work should not be interfered with by other §
members o f the family.
j(
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ip
ONCE HOOKED, I T ’S HARD TO G E T A W A Y
§
(Occey Wattles)
||
1 see by the old home paper that the man who lost the f
marriage license on the way to the wedding didn’t get #
away with it. He was sent back after another.
i
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•
THIS TIM E M A R Y HAD A LIT T L E SOW
j
( By the Author)
¡j
Mary had a little sow, the 5bw had seven shoats; when §
sold they brought enough to buy two gowns and several g
coats.
i
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i
W H E N “ BOTH BELONG TO TH E SAM E LO D G E” |
(Omer Davies)
§
Whenever a fellow with whom you are trading horses #
assures you that far be it from him to misinrepresent to #
you in the slightest particular, because you “ both belong #
to the same lodge,” y ou ’d 'better declare the dickering off f
and put your horse back in the stall.
§
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■
FIRST COUSINS OF A W R IS T W A T C H
A boy at one o f the training camps wrote home to his I
father, an old soldier, for a wrist wateh. Father sent it, !
and wrote, “ H ere’s your wrist watch, but y o u ’ll have to I
buy your own corset covers and powder puffs.”
"
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W A N T S TO TORTU RE THE K A ISE R
While one of Portland’s 25c barbers was shaving an
Oregon editor the other day, he remarked that he “ sure
would like to shave the kaiser just once.” The editor says
he wishes it could be arranged, providing the barber uses
the same razor on the kaiser he did on him.
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Bought an ounce
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The other day
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For seventeen dollars
—x—
And he will keep it
-x —
In a safe
—x—
Untii planted
—x—
Woe unto anybody
He catches digging
—x—
It up
—X—
“ Rob the bank
' —x—
Or steal sheep,”
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Winn says,
—x—
“But let a poor man
—x—
Enjoy his wealth.”
vVIGRICH ITEMS
yjHi I h I ni I ni I w I ■ I in I m I in I ■ I in I ■ I in I ■ I ■ I in I in I in I ■ I ni I in I iw I in I b 1 1 w I Bij
I
I Don’t break Your
!
Back
When by paying $5
down and a dollar a
I
week you can have a
Maytag
Washing
Machine
with gasoline motor do your washing for you.
A M A Y T A G in every home and no more blue
Monday washdays. W ith a M A Y T A G on the
job, you can knit for the soldier boys. Let us
demonstrate for you.
There will be a program and bas
ket social at the American Bottom
school on April 19 for the benefit of
the Red Cress. Everybody come.
Mrs. E. M. Lichty and Mrs. C. L.
Grounds of Buena Vista spent the
SLOPER BROS. & COCKLE.
day Wednesday at the home of Mrs. .
F. L. Chown and attended the Red
Cross meeting.
Red Cross social and program at
Buena Vista on April 5th. Supper
The Independence National Bank
will be served the first thing.
Mr. and Mrs. .1. O. Robbins from
Established .1889
north of Independence were Sun
day guests with Mrs. Robbins’ son,
A Successful Business Career of
J. F. Green and family.
Twenty-Five Yearg,
Mr. and Mrs. E. M. Lichty of
Buena Vista spent Sunday with
Mr, and Mrs. F. L. Chown.
Mrs. Robert Emmons and daugh
IN TER E ST P A ID ON TIME
ters, Vivian and Vera, were Sun
DEPOSITS
day guests at the home of Mr. and
Mrs. Abe Porter.
Mr. and Mrs. McComas were Sun
Officers and Directors
day visitors with their daughter,
“There’ll be no breakfasts
H. Hirschberg, Pres.
D. W . Sears, V. P.
Mrs. Will Roberts, and family at
—x—
R. R, DeArmond, Cashier
Highland.
In town
Mr. and Mrs. Haley of Indepen
W . H. W alker
I. A. Allen
O. D. Butler
—x—
dence moved to Wigrich on Mon
Until October
day.
—x—
j all over him. While crawling mis-
W hy They Wear Spurs
Guy Prather of Buena Vista spent
Unless the men
Washington—“Uncle Joe" Cannon j erably to the dentist’s to have his
Sunday
with
Ernest
Chown.
—x—
fang extracted, with the intent to go
Cook themselves."
Miss Rose of Buena Vista com was asked why so many of the army-
reserve officers in Washington wore therefrom to a surgeon to get the
bined business with pleasure at
x—
spurs. “The reason is simple,” he boil lanced, and afterwards to an
Some seeds are now
Wigrich on Monday.
*
said. “ It is to keep their feet from j osteopath’s to have his limb rub-
—x—
Don’t forget the Red Cross social sliding off the desks.”
j bed, and thence to a drug store to
So high priced
at Buena Vista on April 5th and at
; purchase a bottle of grip remedy,
—x—
American Bottom school on April
' he was struck by a street car and
“At Home” As Prisoners
That the people
19th. The Red Cross needs the help,
ing tootli was knocked out, his boil
(New York Herald)
•—x—
si) don’t forget the dates.
First Hun Prisoner—Vot vos der was bursted, the rheumatic leg was
Who sell ’em in bulk
broken in two places and pained
Misses Nina and Helen Porter barbed wire fence for, friendt?
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Second Hun Prisoner—To keep us him so that he forgot the rheuma
field
spent
Easter
Sunday
with
Don’t guess at the weight
tism, his new ’ hat was torn to
their grandparents, Mr. and Mrs. in, of course.
-
x —
First (with great astonishment)— pieces, but thank heaven his grip
Hartman,
near
Independence.
Any more
was not in the slightest degree dis
who vants to gedt omit?
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Mis. M. M. Porterfield is enjoy
turbed and is with him yet.—Kan-
When you buy an ounce
ing a visit from her sister and
! ass City Star.
“Treat You Fine!"
—x—
hi sband, Mr. and Mrs. Chas. Hall
Oscar is figuring
You get an ounce
of Portland.
On getting a job
In a powder factory.
C ertainly -Y oull B u y a
Oscar says
i!iinin,iii
in ilin ilU IIB IIttM lIM IIIH IH IIM lIM IM M IM IIIK III
1»
That when you make
A mistake
THE RHYM ING SU M M ARIST
■
in a powder factory,
You
Why I
Instead of bawling you out,
We yearn to hit the country
They send flowers
Need It Now^^r Put it Off? I
And with the farmer stand,
To your family.
Sooner or later you’ll I
—Arkansas Gazette.
W ith a brindle calf in front o f us
And a pitchfork in our hand;
While the city dude may mark time
And do his share o f shirking,
The farmer must
Kick the dust
And never stop his working.
W e’d like to force the bran and shorts
Into a bunch of pigs
And hear their music grunts
As each one snoops and digs;
We wouldn’t mind to scratch their backs
Altho it seems so funny,
In humorous digs
“ Pigs is pigs”
But just now they are money.
•
W e’d like to milk the brindle cow
That has the brindle calf
But w e’d never “ so” the gentleman cow
And make the farmer laugh;
W e’d like to hitch the mule andhorse
And take our turn at plowing
W e ’d finish up
In time to sup
No over time allowing.
Sadie, with her powder puff,
Would never, never need them
I f to the country she would go
W here,good cooks always feed them;
A girl like Sadie could no doubt
Earn her b**ead by churning,
So both o f us
Make this fuss,
A country life we’re ve.iming.
IIUMI V I B I l B l U i l f l l l B I l M i B I l B l I I
Selma’s Spring Clothes.
Selma Sniff's been going round
and round with her maw, reports
tiie Lamar Democrat.
The trou
ble's been about Selma’s spring
clothes. Her maw thinks she could
make some of tier old clothes over
for Selma, real nicely. But every
time she says anything about it,
Selma up and spits like a young
pussy cat. She says she don't want
no ole made over clothes. What'd
the other kids think of her, she’d
like to know, if she went to school
a wearin’ things made out of her
maw’s old duds? She sees herself!
Well, Goodnight! Ain’t her maw
wore them ole clothes 'till every
body'll town knows 'em when they
lamps ’em, two blocks away. Well
she reckons.
Needn't think she
could get away with anything like
that among the other kids. Good
night! What Selma wants is a nice
robin egg blue spring coat she's
seen down in the window for
$27.50 a pair of pale tan shoes, 14-
inches high with French heels, at
eleven fifty, and some silk stock
ings, an’ that’s what she's gonna
h-a-v-e.
The Stayer.
buy a Fairbanks-Morse
Type ” G” Feed Grinder
— because it’s the one best
feed grinder value.
It’s backed by 50 years of
sound manufacturing expe
rience.
It embodies the many valuable
feed grinder features that you wait.
We have the type ”G” in stock
and can make prompt delivery.
Ask us to
demonstrate it
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SW OPE & SW OPE
LAW YERS
I. 0 . 0 . F. Building
Independence,
Oregon
Once there was a man who had O o o o o o o o . o o o oO
ELIZABETH
LEVY
o
at one and the same time a boil on o
Teacher of Violin
o
his neck, an aching tooth in his
o
■ jaw, the rheumatism in his left leg.
Will give lessons in Indepen o
a new bat on his head, and the grip
dence for beginners and ad o
vanced students.
Best of o
B F. JONES
methods. Prices reasonable o
i Candidate for Representative Polk
Inquire at,the Post Building o
■ and Lincoln Counties, May Pri
or write E. Levy, 563 Court o
I
maries.
St, Salem, Oregon.
o
(Paid Advertisement)
O o o o o o o o o
o o oO
’ s , i » i v is im ia iiia iia .il