The Independence west side. (Independence, Or.) 18??-1891, August 22, 1901, Image 4

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In tha Mm.
IsVrYOUsnesa, unrfihliig alwp, drapon
dtnrjr. It la tlrw you were doing mclhln.
Th klilnrjm wr aneUMitly rulM tha
tr-lim In vour rtw Miry ar hohtlut th
rt'liii Mid drlvliyou Into wriwtM Iroublf.
Hood's SarsaparlUa
Ai ts with Hi moat dlrwt, bwii'lVlal IT't
on lh Httrva. it contains th twt and
aafrsl aibMiu'WiKr ntriwtliiK and Uuiltif
tlHMW oritans.
Danir" In Veil.
A. erTlo baa dont to woman
loarrally by lr- O. A. Wood, of Chi
cago, In toats mails by htm with ajrt
tcuiutlc car to dvtfrnilu the danger,
It any, tn th wearing of tolla, For thli
purpose h aelH(Hl a down typical
apwluifna of th article and applied
the ordinary teat of ability to read
while wearing them, and theaa teatt
allowed that every dcacrlptlon of tell
affm-ta more or lcaa the ability to aet
distinctly, both In .the dlataoce and near
at hand, the moat objectionable being
the dotted aort Other thtuga being
equal, vision la Interfered with In direct
proportion to the number of meabea per
aquare loch, and the texture of th ma
terial alao play an Importaut part tn
the matter. Tuua, when the aldea of
the uteah are lut;l compact threads
the eye la much lesa embnrrnaaed than
when the double threads are uaed, th
least objectionable veil, on th whole,
belug that which la without data,
apray or other fignrea, but with larg
and regular nicahe made With alngl
and compact thread. Dr. Wood perti
nently remarks that while ey trouble
do not necessarily result from wearing
veils for the healthy ey la as able as
aay other part of th body to resist
legitimate strain weak eye ar In
lured by tbem. New Tork Tribune.
The novelty of th hammock showt
In the-picture consists In Its ability to
keep on the shady aid f the tree at
all hours of the day, and It also has
the advantage of being adapted for us
on a single tre or the side of a house,
where only one support Is available.
Of course. It will not curve from end
to end like the ordinary hammock, but
It has a swinging motion of Its own.
and It can be made quit as comforta
ble for resting as those now In use.
The attachment to the tree Is made by
a ball and socket Joint and the two
Hooks, with the suspending cables, the
Joint allowing the hammock to swing
laterally In substantially the same
plane. By providing duplicate heads
for suspending the hammock It can
be moved around the tre Into another
position as the day sdvances, thus si
vrays keeping under the shady aide of
the tree, and when not In use It folds
up flat for storage In small compass.
The Inventor Is Malachl D. UulT of
Carthage, 111.
Farmers Fight Over Laborer.
Kansas City papers contain an ac
count of three farmers being arrested
there While fighting over the poses
Biou of an idle man, whom each
wanfed for a farm hand.
How She Proves It.
"Maggie says she is a daughter of
the revoluiton."
"Can she prove it?"
"Sure. Her hither runs a merry-go-round."
Never Existed.
Juggles Are his characters drawn
from life?
Waggles Of course not. He writes
No Pleasures in City Life.
"Pa, let's move In the country; I don't
want to live in town."
"Why not, Bobby?"
"Well, pa, ma says If we live here
till I'm grown up an' gray-headed she
won' lemme keep a pig." Indianapolis
His Proficiency.
Employer I thought you told m that
you were the best scholar In your class
it college. You don't seem to show It.
New Clerk-I didn't say scholar; I
ald aculler.rh ladelphla Record.
TVtmti!! act the stin nn fire. The
the blood are forced out through the pore9 of the slcm,
causing intense redness, burning and itching. So terrible
is the itching at times, especially when the body is over
heated, that the almost distracted sufferer feels that he
could tear the skin to pieces, and that he must scratch or
go crazy. He knows from experience that this only
makes matters worse, nut, tnaae oesperaxe dv me icitiuiu
burning and itching, he ia for the time being indifferent to after effects. There
are several forms of Eczema, the moist, or weeping kind, that comes in little pus
tules which discharge a watery, sticky fluid, which dries and peels off in bran-like
scales. So profuse is the discharge at times that large scabs or crusts form, which
re both painful and troublesome, and not easily removed. Red, disfiguring bumps
and sores are symptoms of Eczema. The dry form usually attacks the head,
hands and feet J the skin, becoming hard and rough, often cracking open and
bleeding, and attended with much itching. . Eczema depends upon a poisoned con
dition of the blood, and local
Kr. L. If arno, Bsoondldo, San Diego County,
Cal., writes : " Ky body broke out with a rash
r eruption which in spit of all effort to oure
ontinuod to set worse. Th Itohincr, espoolally
stt night, va simply torribl; it would almost
dlsappoar at times, only to return worse than
evor. I Bid titled many highly recommended
preparations without hensflt, and hoaring of B.
8. S. determined to glv it a fair trial, and was
Inexpressibly delighted when a few bottle
cured ma entirely, removing every blemish and
pimpla from my body. I shall not fall to reoom-
the pores of the skin, thua
forcing the poison baok into the blood. S. S. S. antidotes and neutralizes the acid
poisons and drives out of the circulation all impurities and humors, and the pure,
rich blocd that is carried to the diseased skin quickly allays the inflammation,
opens tho clogged up pores, and the skin becomes soft, smooth and ready to perform
its proper functions. To be rid of Eczema you must first purify and build up the
blood, and nothing so surely and effectually doe this at S. 8. 8., the only guaran
tied purely vegetable blood purifier. Send for our book on blood and skin diseases,
and write our physicians for any information or advice you may desire. Medical
advice and book free. TUB SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., ATLANTA , OA.
Is best time to enr Catarrh,
Bronchitis and Consumption.
Our remedy Ik guaranteed, 1.
P. O. Bo I 013.
W. H. SMITH ! CO., Buffalo, N. Y.
, OoM Cur lor Dliotdered Narva.
"That eastern girl who is suffering
from unstrung, nerve made a mis
take when she tried to din-tor her
self." "What Jid she take fr ItT
"Diamond rings anil anything elite
she could lay lier hands on."
Don't Blam Hr,
"Why didn't she gruduuter"
"She got mad at the examiner
hinting, as she thought,, at her age.
lie her what swat national
event took place in 18(10."
Kin Edward Mas Miny Omits.
A very noticeable circumstance is
the number of distinguished people
political, oftioial, diplomatic and ao
c'al who have dined with his majes
ty during his visit to Windsor castle.
This is especially renmrkahle because,
during the last reicit, the late uwn
more often dined with her family
alone in the small dining room called
the oak room. The king, however,
hits introduced (no practice of having
a good-ied dinner party every day.
Werld to This tfsar.
This is th recent decision of on of the
ivnuuliieiit siH-lelles of th worlil, hill tn
Jxa.'ttla hasmir vtln BimI iui. and
till tltr ar very few peopl who taelu.v
Una preith-linii, thor ar thonsanda ol
,.ihn wlu not only lliv, but know
that Hosiottrr a Muroarh lillr tli
ljt miKlicin ui cur .ly(ieisl, lililil
lion, iimMleatlon, hllliousncw or Itvrr
and knliiv trouble. A fairirlal will err
laitilv convtiic you of Its vl.
Very Blunt.
"The editor is kicking about aortic
of the joke Wittittle is turning In.
Ho say ho ladieves WUIHtlo sits
down and grinds them out,"
"I don't Mivve it. If ho was to
grind them out they might have a
point to them."
She Couldn't
"Just walk this way madam," said
the clerk who was bow-legged. '
"I'm er I'm very much afraid,
sir, I can't," hlushiulgy replied the
fair customer who wasn't.
AClrarn Who Ha Powllo AtUvs
ia HI Church.
Members of th Sacred Heart Church,
Mlros Tark, near Chicago, aaslsted
by other cltlsena of th vlllag. r
about to put in prac
tic a novel plan to
keep the young men
out of mischief. Th
Bv. Francis Rurel
bach, pastor of th
Stcrtd Heart
Church, who Is
erecting an S,000
brick building on
tmk. ai-amti, Still
North Klghth street, hss given consent
to allow the basement of this place of
worship to bouse two regulation bowl
lug alleys. Th expenditure for th
bowllug alley could not well come out
of th general church funds, so the vll
Isgers have decided to glv a picnic on
July 4. General athletic will be on
the program. A thirty yard rac for
women will have for a prise a belt with
a silver buckle. For the fifty yard dash
for women a 13 hat Is th premium.
" . luiu . 1 . W i '-
'The Melrose Tark boll club will play
! the All-Chicago club. Tents will be
! raised to enclose the grounds, and a din-
ner will be served. Th Foresters ar
' expected to turn out In force. After
the dinner Is over and tne track am
letics have been fleshed. Thomas B.
Thleghe, of Chicago, will deliver th
oration of the day. Among the feature
will he the eight Cornelias and the flv
Pemtrcvlllaa, acrobats, who will glv
their services to the committee having
the affair In charge. All are residents
of Melrose Park. The church, which Is
a two-story brick. Is 80i54 feet It has
a seating capacity for 400 persons, and
will be dedicated soma time In JuLv.
If vo hadn't a rural ar, hcalthr moTnimt of thf
bowels averr dajr, you n Wk, or wilt be. Kop yuui
bowfjis open, and tw wall. Koroe, In thethapeof
violent phytic or pill dantieroui. Tha
i.mNjUiit, eaileHt. until ptTfeirt way ui keeping iba
kwui citar ami ciean ia wuu
Pleasant, Pslstsble. Potent. TsuteOood Do Good.
neTflrtiiflMn. vyaasen. orurip. iw. wo writ
for free ntrapls, and booklet on nosltn. Aditroaa
SUrllii ImiI) Uarur. Cklim, Bnlrnl, In Int. aits
A Sure Result.
"Say, old chap, Coffup and I have n
bet we wish you to dcciilo for us.
"No thanks."
"Why not? We're both friends of
"Exactly. So what's tho uso of
my making an enemy of ono of you?"
acid oolsons
applications, while soothing'
ana cooling, and may to some
extent relieve the inflamma
tion and itching, cannot
be considered cures, because
external remedies do not
reach constitutional or blood
diseases. Salves, ointments,
powders, lotions and soaps do
more harm than good, by
smearing over and sealing up
flints WMHf ill (a
Best Court Sjnip. TaitesQood. CSS I
in time. Hnm ny aniisiats.
r - ."-I.SI-lIT 1-hrfraT
l ----- - aiia aia
raaoi u atsisnato
F re feasor Fryar, of th tlalvarally
California, I Hwtiontlbt for This
lh KvitUac I Itocnwantarjr-A
i-ltnt Record Mill IrMrveil la Chin
Trot, fryer of th University of Cal
ifornia bring to light new evidence
tending to prove that Ituddhtat (irlcat
discovered America 1,000 year befor
the sailing of Columbus. "The evltlvuc
la both documentary and substantial,''
says Hurler' Monthly.
Of the evidence of early Chinese doc
ument, Prof, fryer says:
"The narrative states that there was
a ItudOhlKt (irlcat named Hut Hlicn,
originally a native of Cabul, who, In
the year 4UU A. 1., timing the reign of
the KuiMror Yung Yuan, cam from
the country of fuming to Ktiigchow,
the raoltal of the dynasty ut Tat, situ
ated on the Ulver Yang tne, Tim coun
try helug In a state of revolution, It
was mt till the year that he had
an opportunity of going to the court of
the KuiiM'ror Wu Tl, of the new I.lang
dynasty, lie gave present to the Km
Knir of curious articles brought from
fUKMiig, among which was a material
looking like silk, hut the threads of
which could support a great welulit
without breaking. This was evidently
the llher of the Mcxlcnu agave. He
also presented a mirror of a foot In
diameter, posm-snlng wonderful proper
ties, ami rcNciuhlliig those In use In
Mexico mnl other localities In America
at that tlluo. The Kmperor treated ill in
as an envoy from Kusang, and deputed
ono of the four principal feudal lords,
named Yu Kle, to Interrogate him re
specting the country, and to take down
his story In writing. This was accord
ingly done, and wv have what Is un
doubtedly the orliilual text, with only
perhaps lure and ther a typographical
error which tun be easily explained,
"Among other thliiKS, 1 1 ill Hheu said
that the people of Kusang were former
ly In liiiiornui-e of tho doctrine of
Ituddha, hut during the reign of the
Chinese Kmperor Ta Ming, of the Sung
dynasty, or A. l. 4.VS, there were Uve
blkshus, or Iluddhlst monks from
Cnhul, who traveled there ami promul
gated the knowledge of the doctrines,
books and Images of Iluddhisui. Their
labor were aumwiful, so that they or
Uiilued monks from among the natives,
and thus the customs and milliners of
the people were soon reformed, He
gave particulars of the Journey through
the Aleutian Islands aud Alaska, with
the length of tho route ami a descrip
tion of the Inhabitants, lie described
the country of fusaug as IhMXK) II, or
0,oO0 miles, to the east of Kamsi-hatka,
and also due east from China. It grows
great numbers of fusang trues, which,
when they llrst appear above ground,
are like bamboo shoots, ami tho people
eat them. Threads are spun from the
skin of the plant, which are woven Into
cloth from which clothing la made, or
else It la made luto e ' .oroldery. They
also use the lllirou'i material of th
fusang for making paper, These aud
many other features seem to point un
mistakably to the Mexican agave. Hod
pears are mentioned, which agree In
descrlpllun with the fruit of the prickly
pear, while grapes are represented as
plentiful. There Is plenty of copper,
hut no Iron; aud no money valuo la put
on gold or silver. Their market are
free and there are no II ted prices.
"The manners aud customs of the
people, their forms of government,
their marriage and funeral ceremonies,
their food and clothing, the method of
constructing their houses, tho absence
of soldiers and military weapons, cities
and fortresses, are all particularly
noted, aud ax roe. with what Is found In
uo country bordering on the I'licltlc,
except on the continent of America In
general, aud In Mexico In particular.
To suppose that 11 ul Hhen could have
Invented all these statements, mid that
his story can be satisfactorily explain
ed upou any other theory than that ho
had actually made the Journey which
he so truthfully and soberly describes
is, to any the least of It, absurd."
She Arises Karly to Attend to Religion
and Household Duties.
The life lived by the Filipinos Is not
in Intricate life. says Hamou Iteres I.ala
In tho Ledger Monthly, nor Is Philip
pine etiquette the highly Involved sys
tem that Is found In the old and nrtltl
clal society of western lands. I do not
know that I can better describe It than
by following a society young lady of
Manila through tho ordlnnry events of
one day's existence. It may Interest
American women to know how their
sisters beyond the seas pass their lives,
The day of tho fair Filipino Is a long
one. With her there Is no liny rising
to a 0 o'clock coffee and tonst. She Is
usually up with the sun, not later than
0, and, If very religious, as early as 4,
that she may attend early mas. Ilroak
fast Is set early, about 0 o'clock. Then
come the morning duties of the house
hold, sewing, washing, cooking, or
whatever there may he, for our young
lady is not expected to spend her days
In Idleness. The midday meul Is tukeu
at 12 o'clock, In order that the warmest
hours of the day may be the hours of
rest, About two hours are thus spent
In tho enjoyment of the siesta, when
our lady fair arises, refreshed and
ready for tho later pleasures of the
At 4 o'clock the "afternoon tea" Is
served. This Is a light repast, usually
consisting of chocolate, with rice and
cakes, or other slmplo viands. Then,
at the hour of 6:30 or 8 o'clock, the car
riage is brought out and tho dully ride
taken to the Luneta, the beautiful park
on the bay south of the city. Here the
military band discourses sweet music
every evening, and the beauty and
fashion of Manila meet and enjoy the
evening air and melodious strains. Re
turning from the drive about 7 o'clock,
the evening meal, or supper, comes next
In order, after- which our belle of Ma
nila Is free for any mode of spending
the evening hours that may appeal to
her; perhaps a friendly visit, a trip to
tho theater or opera, or nn "at home"
to receive callers. Early ns she arose
bedtime often conies late, and no hours
more than nature demands are spent In
the enjoyment of slumber. Going to
rest, however, Is different there and
here. Ladles, even of the highest soclul
rank, do not sleep In a bedstead, but
prefer the floor, lying on a petate, or
mat, which la provided with a long
bolster or pillow, aud covered with the
conventional mosquito netting.
Teople Have Grown Careless la Their
Khetorlc ome Familiar Krrora.
The books of rhetoric used to tell us
that the great qualities of style were
perspicuity, energy end elegance, or
clearness, force and grace, and that as
a means toward these and for other rea
sons It iras important to be concise, to
The nam of Miss Halite 11. Heals of Wichita, K was th second an
nounced In the drawing for homestead In the l.swtoa district of OkUhoias, snd
he was thereby eniitbd to I lis ammid best claim In th district, estimated to t
worth SIO.ihxi. Miss Ileal Is S3 yeara old and is an operator In th trlephone
exchange at Wichita. (he already has received a number uf nurrlaa proposala,
but would Iw Bailors will net B thing hot disappointment, for Miss Bell I
engsitml to he married to Krmst Hill, a street car conductor of Kansas City.
When ah was Informed of her good luck In th drawing ah wired to Washing
ton and asked whether she could be married to Hill snd retain her Isnd. When
told (list she could not until ah hid proven up her claim she to let th
inarrlua-e wait and will settle dowu on th land with her mother. Hli tiled her
nam for the drawing while on a visit to Oklahoma.
avoid needles words. Whether they
no longer tench Ihua, or their pupils dis
regard their Instructions, you rau
scarcely t-ad a pauo or a column any
where without meeting words that add
nothing to other with which they a re
Immediately counoetod. Thus;
Thought to himself. How else should
he think? .It ho thought aloud you
would hav to say ao. Klthor he "said
to hlmseir'whlch I another way of
putting U-or bo simply "thought."
Nodded his head. If he had nodded
his legs or his elbows the rase would
be more notable. He might properly
"shake hi heed." fur he could shake
other things; but lu the present statu
of language oue can nod no other part
of himself or of creation than his head.
Together with. If John wont to town
with his wife they went together; If
they went together he was ueccsaarlly
with her. ' ;
Mouth of May, summer season, etc.
Everybody knows that May Is a mouth
aud summer a season.
Hose up. If people were lu the habit
of rising dowu, or If It wero possible
to do so, this would not be tautologi
cal. It will not do to any that these spec
imens abound In the best writers, and
ar therefore Justltluble. They are uot
lhs best writers when they write lu
this way, through pure carelessness, for
they know bettor. Homer some! lines
nods, but his nodding did nut produce
the "Iliad." We want to follow tho host
writer In their excellencies, not In
their error,--r'rederlck M. lllrd lu Lit
erary Era.
Th Unit Central Kluur In th llttf
Meet fMrllte.
J. Plerpont Morgan, tho great central
figure of tho steel strike, received his
early education In fluuuee lu tximlou
and through an Intimate connection
with the famous Pcnlwdy bunking
house. He made acquaintances and
friends at that time since of powerful
lullucuce for him. He was born
wealthy, and when he succeeded to his
father's estate he hud an Intimate al
liance with the Drexcls of Philadelphia
which added to the strength nnd fame
of his own name. He Is popularly sup
posed to control more Invested cnpltal
aud more free money than any living
man, not excepting tho Rothschilds.
Tho railroad Interests which are now
in his care represent nearly !f'l,00O,0OO.
000 In cnpltal. Mr. Morgan Is a big
man physically, very chummy with In
timates, but reserved before tho world,
He Is passionately fond of yachting,
rare books aud rarer paintings.
One Man Who Knew How to Manage
Ills Better Half.
"Simplest thing lu the world," de
clared the man who has married his
third wife and lives In the second block
from Woodward on a fine cross street.
"It's this wny. Give a woman the last
word, keep still, look disappointed
without looking defiant aud she'll be
...... , ... .
jib tsl ' tA
King Edward's latest motor car Is
built. Unlike most motor cars, It is reilirkable for the neatness and elegance of
Its appearance, and, though substantially built. It is comparatively light. It Is
a sort of motor phaeton, having s'atyifg accommodation for half a dozen persons,
one beside the driver on the front BoLt, a couple on the middle scat, and a box for
two footmen at the back. This Is rit by any means the first motor car the King
has had made for him; for, like tht King of the Belgians, his majesty takes a
keen Interest in horseless carriages!) iitj has had two built for him previously.
This latest motor car, however, wilt mark something of a new departure, for
the King intends to take regular rioyla
merciful to you nine time out of ten.
Now you want mo for a little stag
poker party,"
"Yes. You'll Just All out th num
ber." "Well, sir, Just drop In this evening
aud see how I'll get my wife's permis
sion. Work like a charm, I tell you.
There'll be mora or leas of a squall, but
dou't you enre. Just keep a close ey
on me at the llnlsh."
Th caller "dropped In" at 8. There
were teu minute devoted to tho weath
er and other curreut topics, when the
caller asked his host to attend the party
"Let me see," rubbing hi chin. "I
guess 1 can come all right enough. We
have no engagement that night, have
we, my dear?"
"W have." Aud the brows of "my
dear" wero knotted.
"Why, I didn't recall It. Where were
we going?"
"We were going to remain at home;
right here where you belong at night.
I'm opposed to gambling and I'm op
posed to night-hawking. You hav a
very binding engagement aud I won't
thank any one for urging you to break
It, either," and the caller felt like
throwing hi hands luto the air.
"Now, now, dear," from the husband,
In soft bass tones, and after a long
pause, "never tnlml. You'll excuse in
this lime. Jones. I couldn't think of
leaving my wife when she wants me
here. Kind some one else, old mint."
"Well, of course," she laughed cheer
fully, "1 wouldn't like to spoil the party
and I do like to have John enjoy him
self. He works so hard, you know, Mr.
Jones. Hut you mustn't meet too often
or play too high. I Insist on your go
ing, John. I was too selllsh."
Then John Insisted Just as hard that
he wouldn't think of going against her
will, she ordered him to go, ho walked
down to the comer with Jones aud
when the policeman passed them be
Judged from their hilarity that they
were not getting home a minute too
soon.-Pctrolt Free Press.
He I ii g the Narration of Wonderful
Tale or Uolf nd a Hawk.
I should like to narrate the follow
ing which Is mostly true. Some years
ago, I was playing In a match in India,
Hnngnloro vs. Madras, when a hawk
suddenly swooped dowu ou my. ball
and tarried It off In Its claws. I ap
pealed to my adversary to allow me to
drop another ball, but bo was ono of
our canny brethren, and replied: "Eh,
uo, man; lost bull, lost hole." This did
not admit of argumeut. Some weeks af
terward I went for a walk before
breakfast, and climbing a rocky emin
ence to see tho view, 1 came across a
hawk's nest, nnd by It a dead hawk,
and lu tho uest my golf bull; both the
hawk and the ball woro qulto warm.
I scut the hawk to tho curator of the
museum, and asked for a post mortem;
his verdict was "a broken heart," and
ou my telling him the story he had no
doubt that the poor bird had expired lu
Its vnlu effort to batch out my "silver
town." Loudon Globe.
Young Bride Why, Charles, you
don't seem to bo eating anything this
morning. And I got up early to make
these biscuits for you, too,
Charlos-No, dear. I don't feel at all
hungry this morning, to tell the truth.
Your biscuits are very nice, Indeed.
By the way, I wonder If there are of
those dog biscuits left that I bought for
Nero on Friday? Somervlllu Journal.
Tall Men In the Hoots Guards.
Thero are ulncty men In the Scots
guards averaging 0 feet 2 Inches In
height. Not one Is under 0 feet and
twelve are t) feet 4 Inches.
J'ts of the finest vehicles of Its kind yet
it in Hyde Park. London Dally 1
Ma. Pats CaSTIS,
MarriU MlreM, auaaburj, kfaja,
1Mb lmttm hould oarryMh
mndOonv lotion to thmHmmrta
ol mil Stok Woman,
" 1 suffered with inflammation and
falling of tha womb and other dls
jritHMtbla, female weakness. I had
bad pell every two weeka that would
last from eight to tea days and would
havo to go to bed. i alao had head
aohs and backache moat of the time
and such bearing down pains I could
hardly walk across th room at time.
1 doctored nearly all tha time for
about two yeara and seemed to grow
worse all the time until laat (September
1 was obliged to tak my bed, and th
doctor thought an operation waa th
only thing that would help m. but
this I refused to hare don. 0
"Then a friend advised m to try the
Ptnkham medicine, which I did, and
after using the II rat bottl I began to
Improve. I took la all flv bottle of
Lydla E. Plnliham' Blood Purifier,
four boxe of Lydla E. Pinkham'a Dry
Form Compound, three boxe of Liver
Pill and uaed three packagea of Bana
tive Wash, and 1 am aa well now a I
vcr was. I am more than thankful
very day for myeur." Mb. Kaaaa;
Cabtk, I Merrill St., Ameabury, Mas.
Buiinui Rcpartcs.
Ht range Lady What's the price of
the iron bedstead?
' llcnler Twelve dollars, madam.
Htriingo Lady How much ofT if 1
iienler Madam, if you don't pay
cash the Iwdslend is not for salo.
Spring! ol Mil-Conduct
"You haven't any manners, Jack.
Why didn't you oft"cr to escort that
young lady home?"
"Oh, 1 havo manners, all right,
but I didn't have any street car fare.'1
ThoM Prlnttri.
"Well, that's Hie worst yet."
"What's the matter?"
"My niaga.ino poem entitled
'llallh'd' appears under the head of
'Rallied,' .
Henci the Term.
Claroiico Why do you say the
wedding was patriotic?
Algernon Well, the bride was red,
tho groom was white and nor fiithc,
who had all the bills to pay, was
Little Liver Pills.
Mut-t Bear Signature of
5ee Facsimile Wrapper Mew.
Tary eaaaU emd as easy
t talu a sagaxw
for iiuoumtt.
I Mm 4 VBUIiriFrn U Wr AV ItyOalAnmi.
ifEUl rural? TtaW--
Ml lull
An Exhauitlvi Trip.
Harriet Harry's got home.
Clara Did he have a good timo?
Harriot I guess so; lie borrowed
half a dollar to pay the linckman be
fore he kissed any of ns.
A Conscience Document.
"That last cook sent us back a
postal card."
"What tort"
"She, Buid on it thut we'd find throe
of our best plates at the bottom of
tho pile stuck together with muci
lage." ." -.
The Kind You Havo Always Bought lias borne the signa
ture of Chas. II. Fletcher, and has been made under his
iiersonal supervision for over 80 years. Allow no ono
o deceive you in this. Counterfeits, Imitations and
" Just-as-good " are but Experiments, and endanger tho
Iiealtu of Children Experience against Experiment.
Castorift is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare
goric, Drops and Soothing Syrups. It is Pleasant. It
contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic
substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroys Worms
and allays Fevcrishness. It cures Diarrhoea and AVintl
Colic. It relievos Teething Troubles, cures Constipation
and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates the
Stomach and itowcls, giving healthy and natural sleep.
! The Children's Panacea The Mother's Friend.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
Bears the
In Use For Over 30 Years.
the ecNTaua company, tt Munnat araccT, NCW VORK CITY.
Mi Sclli Beth Kinds,
Up on Fourth avenu there i a
torekeeper who like to to right.
Over hi wldnow i the sign i "Bird
cage and aquariums," In the win.
dow another sign read: "Bird cage
and aiUHria." The storekocer
come out sometime, look over tho
sign and chuckles as if having
dodged a difficult problem,
A Coincident.
"I suppose it is only a coincidence?"
said the young man who is anxious
to learn.
"What is?" Inquired the experi
enced friend.
"The fact that most sensational
reformer have been men who were
so rich they didn't need any more
money, or so poor they had lost all
hot of getting any," .
Coiy Cormrt la th Horn.
Church Have you a cozy corner in
your liousii?
(lothani Oli, yes; my wifo ha ar
ranged two of tlinm,
"You must enjoy thmn after a hard
days work?"
"Enjoy nothing! Thecal lias one
and my wife's dog occupies the other."
Mrs. Ilattorson I'm going to meet
my husband at 1 o'clock to select
some decoration for the drawing
Mr. Clatterson What do you
want him with you for?
"Well, In case they don't turn out
right I can say it's his fault."
'Whta Willi Got Home .
"Mrs. Knox," said tho hosUiss at
dinner, "your little boy doesn't socio
to have much appetite."
"No, he doesn't; that's a fact."
"Don't be bashful, Willie," urged
the hostess. "Won't you have
some more of anything?"
"No, ma'am," Willie replied; "I
filled up on cookie More we. come,
'cause I heard ma tell pa that we
wouldn't get much here."
Ili-.l pmalhle to hnllil. Heat material, lien pro.
Mirlln. Krai Snlnh. I.lslorat runnm. Hrvvpnjr
J-r.' riiH.noii.'e. Si 1 1 CM Kl.l., I,h
T A V KK Oi., 1st and Taflur Sia., I'ortlana.tlr.
Agents wanted in (verr town.
rmM 1870
A Home) School tor Boy
WIIIMmry awtaf Mmnuml minima
FmH Tmrm Opmna Mmpt-12, 1901
Vtte tor Hlumtrmtmd Omtmloaum
SU Helen's Hall
A Ito a rill n a and lT school for filrle.
Mas a Nornal Kindergarten Training Depart
ment, which will have a separate relclenee lor
klnilrraarten cla.sii this rail. The Hoarding
Ih-partinent provides a cheerful and well ar
reused home for young ladles. For Catalogue
or other Information applv to
Mist! KI.KANtlK TEBBKTT8, Principal.
300 Positions Secured Yearly.
San Francisco Business College
1136 Market St., San Kranoliro, Cat.
FULL COURSE, $60.00.
Writ for Catalogue.
Summer Geography.
"fa, what ia a lake, anyway?"
"A lake, Jimniie, is a large body of
water surrounded by men, women
and children in bathing suits."
Pride of the Poor,
Mrs. McChane (triumphantly) I
sou yo are tukin' in washin' again,
Mrs. McFroudee (whose husband
had lost a paying job.) Sure, it's
only to amuse th' children. They
wants the windies covered with steam,
so t hey can make pictures on thim.
Prlom $2.00.
This Is th genuine. It Inrreas
te flesh on aujr part or the body,
develops hull to any desired sine
and makes round, plump face and
neck. HemoTos ail blackheads,
t,. n-M-kie.. nimnh'S. flesh
worms, and makes the skin soft snfl I white. Writ
rorewiW terms. MKS. B. JONKS CO.,
Ultima S1MU1 later Ocean Bldg., Chicago, 111.
, F. M. 0.
a. 3 i-ioi.
HUN writing; ta, advertiser please
mention tnia paper.
Signature of
Mis Evelyn Morse writes from 651
Adayi street, Minneapolis, Minn.,
as follow:
"I ufTernd for nearly throe) year
with catarrh of the stomach which no
medicine seemed
to relieve, until a
friend advised me
to try Pcrtin.
Although skepti
cal, 1 tried it, and
found it helped
me within the
llrst week. I
kept taking it for
Ilia Mors.. thre( m0tlilBnl
am pleased to say that it cured me
entirely, and I have had no sympt
oms of it return, I am only too
glad to recommend it." Evelyn
Address Dr. Hartmsn, President of
The Hartmau Hanitariiim, Columbus,
Ohio, for free advice.
' rhdt-Bouni
A scum What are you so down on
the English for?
Cassidy Why shouldn't I? Look
at the stories they do be tell in' about
tli i in.
Asctim Ye, but they tell stories
about tho Irish, too, which you say
are lie.
Cassidy Aye, hut all the lies they
tell about the English are true.
Hi "CilL"
Booker Washington say thut dur
ing the early days of freedom almost
very Negro who learned to read
would rocoive "a call to preach"
within a few days after he began read
ing. He tells of a colored man in
Alabama who, oue hot day in July,
while he was at, work in a cotton
field, suddenly stopHd and, looking
toward the skit's said:
"O Lawd, de cotton am ao grassy,
do work am so hard, and de sun am
so hot, I believe this darkey am
called to preach."
Brat and onlf
perfect blowercuu
ter on the market,
tfend for circular.
Mitchell, Uwls k
Htaver to.
Portland, Ore.
JOHN POOLE, Portland, Oregon,
roof atorriaoa street.
Can give yoo th beat bargains tn
Buggies, Plows, Hollers and Knginei,
Winomills and Ptimos an I General
Machinery. .Bee ui belor buying.
The Perfection of Wail Pinter, will not fall oft, evsn
though a leakage occur by the bursting of water pipes.
Send lis your adilra-at and receive circular
showing what others hare gained tiytho ue of
Laud fleeter.
Foot ol 14th Street, Pvrtlund. Ormgon.
If IICKFOSO. W.lhlniion, P. C. thev will re.
I celvequlck reiilin. B.ith N. H. Vol.. Htal
20tb Corps, rroseoutluc claim, since 174.
Summer Resolution
TH 8
Bur rallefTioin llouor, opium and totMOO
aaDiia, nana lor particular to
Just So.
Littlo Elmer (nho lias an inquir
ing mind Pajia, what is lirmnes.i?
J'rof. Broadlioiid. The exeroise of
will power, my son.
Littlo Elcmer Well, sir, what is
rroff. Brondhead. The exercise of
won't iower, my boil
Loit Opportunity.
"And didn't you hear of it?" in
quired Mrs. Gabble,
"Not one word."
"Why, I've known it for a week,
so I supposed every body had heard
of it."
I am stir Piso's Cure for Coiisnniutioti
snved my life three years airo. Mas Thos.
Kobsins. Maple street, Norwich, N. Y.,
Feb. J", WOO.
"Snicker's jokes are very
complained Dinsmore.
"Perhaps he makes them that way
for your special benefit," suggested
."How's that?"
"To enable you to see through
They Never fail.
Almost never. Cajcarets cure so Urges per
centage, that they're guaranteed to cure chrott.
ic constipation or money refumU'd. Druggist;
Wo. i'ic, soc.
The Giddy Things.
Mr. Manhattan I hear you" subur
banites go to bed every night at 8.
Isolate, (of Lonelyville, indignant
ly,) It's no such thing. Why, I
have an alarm clock to wake me up
in the niorining and can't Wind its
alarm up till the hour hand is pusySK
o'clock, so we have to sit up that late
every night except Saturdays. '
Might Be Cheaper.
Tess So he jilted her, eh? That
must have made her feel cheap.
Jess Not so cheap as he might
wish. She computes tho damage to
her heart at $25,000.
FITQ Pw-nianerj.tT Cured. No fits or nervotunea
ll I W after flrtt'fnyn meof Or. Kline's Great Nem
lttutonr. 8nt far Fit E K 9 J. 00 trial bottloand treat
'is. Dm. R. U. Klini, It&M ArchSt.. Philadelphia, Pa,
Safer on till Back.
Pinohing-bug Say, what makes
you wear your fur overcoat in suoh
hot weather?
Cateipillar Oh, half the moth
balls we get now are no good.
Simple When You Know.
"I was up in the mill district today.
Frightfully noisy up there," .
"That's right. I've got a friend
who lives up there. He ean't hear
himself talk in his house."
"My I Boiler shop next door?"
"No, He's deaf and dumb."
Mothers will And Mrs. Wlnslow's Sooth
lnz SvrUD the best remedv to nsa for their
children during the teething period.
A Matter of Policy.
"See here, Cassidy," said DeKan
ter, "I caught one of your bartenders
today putting water in tho whisky."
"Well, 8or," Cassidy replied, "ye
must understand that we have to
make some concessions to the temper
ance people'"