Image provided by: Independence Public Library; Independence, OR
About The Independence west side. (Independence, Or.) 18??-1891 | View Entire Issue (July 25, 1901)
CAMPING OUT fc Tii nw ihf hyy nmnon )wn .r,Y punt it In lliivw A Km ( tluvii; iftltir, , Ur wry I lift irv Tl'iy tit to hr . plfdwirti Tin1 nwii of ciijoHHiit Tluit'i (omul (it vttnii inf out. In wmoiIUM or by niivtmlct Th.'v -tt.h thfir Ilttl tent And often liioj'ri tl.',lrtiiir, "Wi'll, till in Jllflt IllHtVlMIM!" Tta Mm loiti kiiiI fttiKU Ami ttiut. lo I Mr delisM, That thr mv uliivmimt A wvMtitroit t,vUtt. ThtVr often tvtml rrjoloinf Ttmt (hi o w. pUimr! To J-pi'll.. ttirlr tmtmm'. otituiit WIh'tt vr ttt(tf In Hl'niiil, And often thev'r niitvtttHtf Tti'tt other in't enjoy TW (Oommre found tn temping, 1 uh not lung to nnoy. Hut when ths hui.nrjr tkoftem l.vv.r their rvtmu It'i Anything but le.tM.it The wny t(.e lt.eer Then V,Uie U(m- itrw-n ..iptr, Amt titer t oiv tttiuy t! Poomiw lh nearest ifm-tor U seven in tie w,v. Tt Uy of p-tden miHshitt. Of ttmrth', otui't hv.,nt lust, Ami hy mid by thd he.etu With oK'tttU hit oMTvitt i The ml it iMmii down lit torrent, And oHitntori WtUUt fclioilt An to the hi!! ihey Inimhn loiu tlu't'r flooded out. The worn and. weary earner Then audi) trawl tioiue, K-'tt to the other vowihb He ixrvcrnuie will him. Hot when (-V neiMor nneitMoi.ed Tltev're nhoutng tiene mil'ltme, ' For etteh of thi'iu U uohiit, "We had a arirnd... iinii'l" Th W h.tlo Story. "Von m-, ho Niitl I wiw u loot" "Ami thou I ikmkt'tl him." - "M'li'm." "Ami tlmt wtw wluro I provtxl it. Iudunai'vlis Journal. A Hoy With m Ilrlfctit I tHurr. Chut of tho taskw not ti a N h t'huw wna that of writing u short Ut tr to tht. umwtor. Ott younger mlitml a 1. 8., which ran, 'Tloso M'tiso Kitl ritiiitf Htul HKlititc, hh 1 uvrnt Iki n laiit any U'tor." Tit UitH. ItrmtirkitM. 'ITo mut Uvomlort'uUyflovtr with the pen. " "Why? "Kvt'ii his wifoHoint'titnortivMils whnt be writi1 Chirao Tiun-H UoraM Not Worth n (titittf. "My futt U my torttiiw, mr," h? uld. U irrtd Lwnli txnnit ln,fl. ( lotfiitnl lftdcr. niplomncy, TotUy tho AuitTirnn cmbH-isntlor wan dining with tho qnot u vt Kiuclniul "Can anything.' hor uuijivty wiw exclaiming fovlinwly. "ever nptin cltwo the door bttwtvn thi'Ho two gmtl uh tlon?" "Well, yon Mayhrick it np. yon know," roplioil tho t'lithassjulor Imtuor ously. UtTo thoqnrm plnyfnlly Mnashl hi excolloucy over tho head with tho cotTio urn. "Ain't you torriblol" w protivtod, and ehangod tho subject. Detroit Jnnrtial. IUUr. "Say, nnbody ever cancht ft llsh here. Tlicre'H no gixjd tryliiu It." "Tliat'B Jiifit the ln-Jiuty nf It. VdII can Huh mid fin!) ami lisli. ami yon oln't bothi'i-pd HillInK tlio HiIiikm out." Fllegi'iido Mlnttrr. A rpmonill liiiircNNton. "Of eoui'He," Niilil Si'iintur HorKhmn, "L)ewcy Is a rt'iimrkalilc man, hut" "You aro uot golnn to (iallfy your pralHo?" "Well, I admire Ills cournBo and all that, but I must say that when ft man with his opportunities stamln up and refused to run for olllee It sets a mighty bad precedent." Washington Star. Mlir Frrdillo Ilnon't W cnr On. Cholly How's Fweilily (jetting on with his mustache producer? Algy Why, he's tlivvown It up! Cholly-Weally? iluw'8 tlmt V Algy He says It weipilred such nn amount of wubbing In that It wore away the hairs as soon as they grew, besides being a lewwlble si wain on his Btwength. I'iek Me l.'p. A SMkIiIciI Opportunity. "It's too bad!" exclaimed the man with the appearance of ponderous prosperity. "We ought to have thought of It." "A chance to make money?" "Enormous! We ought to have or ganized a badge and medal trust." Washington Star. Her Minlnkc "They say she married for money." "That's ivhere they're wrong. She thought she married for money, but she was mistaken." "Then what did she marry for?" "She hasn't found out yet." Chicago Tost. Back Action Sj'inpiilbr. "My wifo has nervous piujl ration." What's the trouble?" "Our doctor says she brought It on by worrying about the receptions Dewey will have to go through with." Detroit Free Press. More HIiiNtlc. "There won't be any water In our Issue of Htock," said the promoter of tho bicycle trust. "No," responded the cautious In vestor; "you'll pump It full of wind." Chicago Tribune. An ExhniiMlliiaV Hole. "I'll wager I know what Dewey Is thinking about now." "Well, what?" "He Is wishing he could hire nn un flerstudy." UUolt Free Press. I ll ' -K- " HOW A BULLET TRAVELS. Lnuma (tiw dnl.ll.T la TmmM In l.rnrnlnK llutv to fthmil. Thi Koldicr In laui;lit Hint the bullet trawls through tho nlr In n curved hint culled tho tritjivtury, and that Ihrin) fiuvc net upon It -first, the csplodoil charge, tending to itrlvo It f.twaid iu it straight lino nlotig tho lino of lire; second, tho forco of gravity, mid, thlnl, the air nwirttauco. At v!dO .writs, owing to these forciM, the bullet, (raveling at the rate of S.lliHI feet II second, will have fallen iiUiiit two font. In the ex citement of lli ing at clow ipimters tho aim w ill Invariably bo ki IhkIi It has Iiih u calculateiT that when tho I'lieuiy nnproacliin w ithin II.Ml'yards the loldiers will lu-illiiftiwly llin' as much as two feet or threo feet ahinu their heads. Now, It has lnin fonil y ex periment that tint fact of tlx lug bay onets will enuso tho bullet to drop a distance of aUmt 8 'j foot imil.VI ymds, and thereforo when almut this distanco from the enemy soldiers iuo iiiHtriu li d to IW bayoiii'ts, in order to coiinternct the exceN.ive elevation of'their aim. Tho recruit learns (tut the- mean ex treme rangoof the bullet Is1I,.Vki yards, and that the longest shot tvnr olwived was It, Iilil yards, lie is taught Ihe l" no Hating power of his weapon, a subject full of interest. To take one vr two ex amples, r.'iliinii'd earth gives less pro tii'tioii than loiwo; bullets easily tind their way through joints of walls, while it ivncentrati'd tiro of aUmt lfto rounds at '.'Oil yards will breaeli.it liinn Inch brick wall. t inly evperlenee cau tieach it soldier how lunch he must aim to the right or left of his mark to counteiiu I the force of tho wind. A side wind has morn elTii t on the (light of tho bullet than a wind blowing dinvtly toward the llivr. Tho soldier mut learn the habits of his rille, since some shoot higher or lower than others, l'.very rille, like every marksman, has its own Individually. rojir.-on s Weekly. AN INCIDENT IN HAJTI. Iltnlrnlni (tip IVi'iillttr Trenflntf u I ii ill In Yuuuii 'I krc lf course thei-o Is in ll-iiti a small circle of native Nun crcofis, who are naturally l" in ladies and gentlemen. ei(in-ite in their courtly manners and most desirable as friends. Then the w hite men w ho are living there, as I have already meet imi.sl, are diameter, If they take it liking to you. all th have or can capture is yours. 'The fol lowing will illustrate this diaiacler istie: Mine host and a friend were walking through the leading thoroughfare of one of the towns when the friend stiil lenly came to a standstill and, placing his long nervous index linger on inin host s breast, remarked : My dear lsiy, in hero they make the liest. cis ktails iu Haiti. 1 have spent threo fortunes iu assuring uivudf of tho truth of this. Let's go iu and try one. There was it prompt adjournment from the piithwallc to the interior of the building, a few minutes of delight fill, expectant silence astlie ingredients With shaken together, ft mutual bow followed by disappearance of the lii uids. Friend -Mow do you like that? Mine Host D' liciousl Friend - Let us have another. Mine Host -Certainly, only this;. sec ond one Is (Ul Ille. Friend -Make no mistake, my boy; thev are In it It on you. 1 ve no money. It is the unexpected that happens, especially in Haiti lite uiiKnown. Henry Sandliam in Harper s Magazine. ( hl.-t.iMi. In 1 1 ii 1 1 1. The unlives call the Island "Kyo-to." Nearly every one I have nu t who can speak Knglish at all drops (ho "h'1 and picks it up after I ho manner ut the London costeriniinger nnd his cousins, tho cockneys and 'Arry boys. Apples in Lve-te are happh s. It is a gn at hicken country, the variety of poultry depending entirely on the color of tho complexion of the incoming president. If hu b yellow, the "yaller legged Ilniiiiniipio is permitted to thrive aloiio in his glory. Kvery black legged chick- n is killed, and any person caiigut harlsiring olio is bound to suffer. On tho oilier hand, if the president bo black only black legged poultry Is in tho fasli- li ii. Tho "yaller legs are destroyed. Similar conditions prevail in Haiito Do mingo. Victor Smith in New iork Press. SmellliiHT n Jtnllnny. Do you know that a railway track IniH an odor' The fact was learned from a blind man who wits walking with n friend amid strange surroundings in Westchester county last week. "Is a train coming?" lie asked. "Why do you ask?" his friend in quired, for, though there was a rail way track a few liumfled feet ahead of them there was not tlio slightest sound to indicate its presence. "I smell the rails," he answered. He did smell them, and though his friend's nose was not nearly so sensi tive, he could with his head within an inch of the rails detect an odor like that from slightly heated iron Mings. Now York Herald. llll'W llilll IJoiiiI. Arkansan It's an 111 wind blows no body some good. Faslerner- How about a cyclone? Arkansan- Same tiling applies. Last one went through here brought me a horse and wagon, a cow stable and a good, steady farm hand, tilings I've ueedisl for two years. Ohio Slale Journal. In I'lirnilil Inn, bicili. t'hii ii'it.' PAW lUIlLPSASIIKLF OH, HATH KM, THIfcH TO 00 80 rOR C.tOIIOIfH tllNIHT. II ii I I III- I .ill l.raaun I hnl II la. Ii-Hiteit In limn') IVU Willi It Hall Th nil, nml I. lulu MI.erl inl Mual ..I II. "What I nead," paw sed ylstady when lie got Home, "Is morn Uxor. else. I!w-r sluts you got tho I'ool no. i-lien lo te Jellus and I dasseut lio out mi m Wheal at lilies my liver don't put III full time einiy more, and I Feel like Ihe oilier feller the next liiorueu aflei lection. I whist I could gll soniti of the pel It lull lit 1 hero to join it liatl teem or suiiiihlng." "I'll tell )on what," maw says. "If loll lead eeiel,e so mutch, Sposeu Jon put up that shelf I've wanted Hack of the sink lor about it year and a I lit IV." Ho paw Tohl me mid maw nml III lie Albert to Hunt up the Saw and llalehet and Some miles and lie would .,i II Thru lie Set down oil the Hack steps and uhlsseld the liorgy Ciiuip nui tin till we found Them. "li's a thiod Thing I was Urol up on a I'arm." paw Sajs, tilvin the pupp it kick Hlull needy roolued lis appellte. "Tliaio's wha re people lurii to I'o on uyiliiug. l-ool, in ilu tlrall men of our I. and. Tluiy was in-erly all Unit up on Farms Unit's whare they luru How to Handle tools mid Think fer 'I'lieinseUes ami plan. It makes me sad Miiniimcs lo Think our Hoys ain't not Ihe eliaiiet I Had. Whare are they a man bred and Urol up In the silly what eoidd go to work and I'o it Joli' like Ibis? Tluiy would Hart to go and Spend ft Holer er so to lilt Soiuo Carpenter to put Ii up Itooos tluiy nev er Had the chaiict to luru How to Han del Tenia." So lie Hot the Hold sawed III two, and w hen lie Held It up w hare the shelf was to go It was too short, nml maw says: "It's almost ii il 1 1 y you indent luru to muUuiv tilings Hefore I'uUon Them when you was on tho Farm." "Say," paw sajs, "If you wouldeu't 'Talk so much mebby it person would lime lime fer serious ihots wunst and awhile. Hit me that oilier Hold up out of the Seller." 1 1 w an ft puny (iood Fit the next Tin:., and paw got a !o and Set It j , m. ,.n, nlll pui it mi the kit 'lien chare, so lie could leach whare the hlielf was to He. and Then he told maw to Sleddy the 'Thing while He stood on lop and nailed. lie got one uale Drove Iu party Cood and Dldeii't nock Down uioro than it Half it Hm ki t full of plasierhi. Hut when He was poimdcii In the next one maw went to ketch little Albert and pull liiiii away so the Hold wouldeu't Hit him ir It roll, nml she Joggled the Hox paw was Htanden on, and Ho missed the uale and Hit his thimi, and It Hounded like when maw or the Hired gurl Hits the Heefsteak Willi the butt cud of the t'ollen pin to make It 'Tender. I felt almost as Sad fer paw ns I do fer die gurl that 'Teaches our Sundy skool when She tries to sing so low ami Her Silvery 'Tones lint I Ii m In two In the middle. So he drop! the Hatchet and the Hold come down, uocklu the (In walr around so It made a racket like when they throw the book agent out of the up stairs Wlmlo on the Stage, and paw grabbed Ills thiliil and started to Jump. lint the Hox ami the chare went over the other way, and lie lit with one foot Iu the Dishpau and Ihe oilier In the Sink. After maw got the- tliiim Soked with witch ll.'ile and 'Tide up ami paw was rosliii comfortable Utile Albert says; "Say, paw." "Well, what Is It?" paw ast. "Seme day when yon ain't Hlzzy nml tluiy ain't euny other excitement golu on will you please do that agin?" Poor little Albert. He's slch a sweet IniioKimt Child It needy llralliH my Hart to see him snfler.- (ieorgio In Chicago Tillies Herald. 9rlf Aiirnvtil I mlomi'il. "Nobody ever licensed me of being ft politician out of a Job," said Sena tor Sorghum blandly. "No," answered the guileless person who takes every thing literally; "It was only the other day I heard some one saying you came pretty near being mixed up In every Job that rami) along." Washington si nr. lnllneliiilM Anni'i-Hiiii. "How absurd to say that all the world loves a lover.' " "Isn't It true?" "Certainly not. How can It be true so long as the lover usually has ri vals?" Chicago Post. Supremely Sn, She 1 wonder If you are ns hnppy In our love as 1 am? He Me? Why, I wouldn't change places with Dowoyl-Indianapolis Jour nal. Vnenl Improvement, "T" "Is your daughter enjoying her mu sical studies abroad, Mrs. I'Tlnillum iner?" "Oh, so much! She writes (hat she (TOirS to live dances every single week." A Persistent Nnltor, Kilty I can't imagine anything more disagreeable than it proposal from that man. Ruth I can. Kitty What, for froodness sake? Ruth A half dozen. Detroit Free Press. Ileal HIiMfncnce. "Admiral Dewey can put deal in a few words. " "Yes; tho Spanish know what he moant when his first gun said 'Bang.' " -ChicHiio Record, nr..u.. ii 1B LIFE AND LOVe. Trim ov Ii ul Mrlh mttttiins It loiii wit aeii, II kmiwa not tliiM II haft l iiui'i'luti toss atmvti, '. I.. la Ilia, ml Ilia la lun. T.iu, Utt f'' itanarrr.il alll ul an.ro, Wiml't arrk t'i nmaa toil' Ime Imlutlil .-t lon'w whi-iii'rr yisir wlti ma r"a Thai ! ! !'', ami HI" la tuna, Yimi Haunt nrw l"aa Iwlum l" rva, J Hi, l Ilium Willi a emit aiillioanl Y.'U raml'il a",ll Ilia lita.uii' tena That In" la lit", ami II'" ia l"Va. Wa umrtala art' r'mai-t ut rltitnio, Wi' tiaia a llm'talil "t wmi'lr-iua in"ie fi,t l'Y ami (III, I"! man ami wlla, Vi'l 111 la luvv, ami luva la llfo- ta'l will tu iti'lu t'f human akllt What narMiit ai-nea Irmi Iuo In klMT l almtila, lln"iiali all )",n m,,lit lilla, That tltn la !'. ami tiiir la Ilia, I luali'li n-Htrnitirana wtlli y.oir unnt, The tiiiih lino I'h'oa t"U Mf a ,,td, , Tlw Imili tm l' k.rn ril.nl ktiil", Vat Ilia if luva, ami Intra la hip. palM luva la llkr tha wlmlliiK ahart I'taini-il In ati'iw ami hamllnu aii-eli Tha ah, Hit nlu-mr Jrisi iliff m,t Hi"" la hur la 111,,, ami III" l l"a. -Walter Ihrn-a r.iil...k In Unnnun'i Mana alna. A WORLD OF TltOUDLE. Hhr III Apni lini'iil lloiia Mnnnaiar Ihift at I Max ul Inn Ilium. Tim manager of tlm apartment house, II well fed, well featured, well dressed man, was standing in the main door way of his establishment, which, by tint way, is owned by an out of town capitalist, w ho Is nol Ilia most generous provider In tlio world nnd insists upon the (tat Imiiig conducted Ujsill tho most poonoiidcnl Hues. The manager was not happy, however fair he may have ap peared to the eye, and he heavisl it long drawn sigh its h friend approached and greeted him. 'What's wrong?" iinpiired tho new comer. "l Hi, we'ro nil got our troubles I" wits the vagnn and lugubrious reply. 'Vim oughtn't to have any." "Hut I have, just the saute. " What, for instance?" "Well, I'm worried sick lscausn I haven't got an elevator !my." "There shouldn't U liny dlllleulty lit removing that trouble, I should "There is. l'vn tried 40 and can't get one to suit. " "Von must I"' Very hard to please." "It Isn't that." sighed the manager. "I'm all right, but It's this way : The old man insists on having the elevut.ir Iniv wear it uniform, ami he furnishes it t'liifornis cost money, nnd w hen the last I y retired he left a brand new uniform, ami the old man Won't get another. That's the rub. I can llnd plenty of Ihivh of sullleient Intelligence, muplo experience, indusl riotis halsts, gmsl moral character and tine address, but I'll ls darned if I can get olio that tho uniform will lit, and there you have it. Now what the dit kens am I to do? Ain't that enough trouble for any ihiu mini?' 'Washington Star. A rulnltil lllaeiivrry. "It was iilniiit the witching hour." said the Htibtil'baiiite. "I had left tha tution some distance hind me nml was on my way up the road toward homo. I had got comfortably cool by that time, and the charming iultuence of the starlit night possessed mo and made Inn feel at peare with all the world. Nor did the fact that I ami my new suit had made it hit with the friends 1 hail Is'eti visit ing detract from the fullness of my self satisfaction. "All went wa ll until I came to ft street crossing my rmiil. At the corner was it street lamp, which from some cause was not lit, and from thin litiiil fluttered what seemed to he it handker chief. Vuii know I am a littlo bit near sighttsl. "I reached over to take it, but it was touched by the wind and waved just Is'Voiid my grasp. I reached over far ther, leaning full against the lamp lost. This time I was auctnsful, and I found that the supposed handkerchief was n piece of paper on which was written in liold and dashing letters tho legend 'Fresh Paint. ' "Philadelphia Iinjuirer. Tlie Itenl llenHoti. Long ago he had taken the resolution always to bo perfectly honest with his children. "My son," he accordingly observed, "I nut Uniting you with this trunk strap not for your own good, but be cause I am hot under the collarl No, it does not by any means hurt mo more than it hurts you I" In thefaco of such it luminous exam ple it would be strange if it boy did not grow tip to bo an honest man. It wiih perhaps possible to overdo this thing and render a boy so honest that ho would be unublo to oarjj his living in liny of the learned protcssions, but that difticulty, if it existed at all, was theoretical rather than practical. De troit Journal. Willi I'leuatire. McSwntters-1 always love to hear thnt girl next door play "The Star Spangled Itanner." Mrs. McSwathers -1 thought you said you couldn't stand her piano playing? McSwntters Well, when she plays "Tho Star Spangled Hanuer" It's a sign she's got through. Syracuse Ilernld. How It Happened. Jones What a funny looking house that is across the street. Smith Isn't it an uddity, though? I understand tho owner instructed the contractor to ftillow all the pinna sug gested by his wifo. Ohio Statu Jour nal. Mcnqnito incapable of writing them selves down fools in tho old way do it veiy readily with tho help of a sten ographer. Detroit Journal. Inhere are many people who will De4er grow rich, because their habit, is to jpend uS they get. Evuing Wis consin. j INilnleil l'nrimniili, ! Tho hog pen Is mightier than tho lonntain peu. 1 It doesn't niako a miller dyspeptic to l)y his niealH. V10 fox makes his best time when ho tnels for his health. f.ho inside of an airship should be dotyrutod with fly paper. here is always an ill feeling betweon thf doctor nnd tho patient. n time of poaco prepare for war. Tl) honeymoon can't lust forever. lOagD NWa I Of HEADQUART At ill NT ) I'll I IM I tils., hailill." llll.itll.T K'-tnl wheel, TllO "IZD jZl--Hi" If you want to save money and repair hills All kind of bicycle needed drop me a postal work is guaranteed, if the I If you want a "W"cot ::.l t . II l.e'-l !l .10. Ill IM lull il Won;, ' an si; n who :! .1 y I , : 1 I bo !-;, II ,'.' I I I e .1 M. ie or ii il hi;., I I new (I. 10 eel I ii:nl ... ",I lit i r l.i t 1,0 tlii'! I ho. e r i . 111 I I.,' V. oil ill Ihe Ii' it ha ' ,i; itii!'. l.i , i' one ,i ,. :Tt !v::i ir, !e,l a ,. done ,i: tl at in a : lal v iH; i I llUVO I, life nn I b'g hm, lo shoe!. "I'll, "Ye-, pe.nlc. lien fer t,i. il, el 1 Wold!, lie made V, lien he i xpi. a I nie. it was us Ihoiigii me i c-t iitlm :. I u ': e iipprovlng a I flgar. I just that he Mlii.-'! I had a i iml. n i t-e picture or a g 'Oil tol l liini one eve., i ; 1 misiaki it in me, Ii r I bid and a whole o of woiiianly a.-iilral!oiis. It frightened liini so that he left his umbrella, and I've never seen him since." Detroit Free Press. ri-oiiK. Now that they were married, tho ugly old man had a confession to make to the lovely young woman. "I am uot rich," he fullered In much apprehension. She did not start as If stung; fur from It. Indeed, she smiled, not un- lildly. "No milder," she replied. "Every body who sees us will think you lire rich, and credit is Just as good ns money." Moreover, It was no sum 11 comfort, If 0110 must be married, to be married to B person whom 0110 need not treat with respect unless one feels like It. De troit Journal. To Slop lVnaebleed. To stop nosebleed cut some blot ting impel' nliout nn Inch sipiare, roll II nliout the si.o of 11 lead pencil nml t,l It up the nostril that hi bleeding. The hollow iu it will till the space lie, wet:; the tube and the uose and will v.'i". soon coagulate am! Iht'ivby How of lii-.nd. New V-ni, 'I ape:!. ;! lain Mar Mary nie. 1:1::'. Mile. I.'.l ! : a .' I v.'l : Vary -I i, give me a Pick Me Up. kisit hi w iBIGYCLD jy .y -.rt A V. . . ,.k - .... . y . M.a. r. . ... - - ST Wfini-L V.XVM Hi;0L'(illT TO THIS COAST, repairing done on short notice, if bicycle parts are card, all mail orders are promptly attended to. All work is not satisfactory also handle bicycle sundries good Sweater send in your order. Siclo Office, IndcpsndcncG, Ore. TALKING OF DRT.AMS. A I. tin., i Jin Hence 'Ill lit n ii liiul. N'ew Or- ll'tlllN II1I7. "Do Von believe i: dreiiiiis?" said a mail al .ml town, "t'f course iioIkwIv likes to ittltuit it, b"t I have just had 111) cxperh lire ih it m:'!;es me chary ulsiitt tool '.1, r i.t Mit !t faith. (Mienight about a v . .( e .0 1 hail a very vivid dream, in which I fcciM myself nn a familiar tvn r iu ih.' h- nrt of the ity A street car was about to pass, and, liter hesiiaiiu;:. as one sometimes will, I had a sud-i' M iu'pelso and darted for ward. I v. mil 1 have had time enough lo got norms ;af, ly. but I cani lit my loo o',i t!.e n r.-il iit'd fell sprawling im my face 11 ;lit ill ir. lit of the car. ( th. the horror of tlict moineiitl 1 heard l!." i:a t irniaii ii 1 : -r hts gun-; li!;e mad I r.i'.v .1 cml'ii the crowd, and then un ut in ng bore IKUMctll me down 1 the 1 e.l.t f laoiin- tains I I n ". I w a-, I dor the whe I-., but I 1. the gh;::-lly tho.;- Ur lia ; ci". d', il nu ll, 1 pain, and It !.d t i lay mind cut 1 ;r. to tell, but I in 11 spasm ol that my h -ad la. 1 1 "It ','--,1-1 I IM' I woke ba'hid in sw, terror Tlial Itiii, 01. s lireai.i v as repeat- cil tltree in e.t 1 in sect , -sion. mid now let me tell yo.i (he H'-ipiel This morn ing I was lu:i Tying up 1'iiual street and very foi l , lily start, d to p:: a car just as the cot, ittcl.tr r.'tn.t hla b 11 "As 1 ul. I , 1 siiil-i, i,y recognised the very corner of my divani. I even reineiitii r.'d an old ailia.'.e barrel with some planks leaning aptinst it that stootl on the curl), and tha di-eovery startled me w ter.'il'ly that 1 lo.d my balance, cautrltt my foot 011 the rail 1.111I fell headlong ri.L-ht across Ihe track jtiat as I ho car darted. I was so close Unit I ritrnck against the edge of tho steps as 1 went down. " "Well, what happened?" exclaimed it breathless listener, "Nothing," replied the narrator "The car was going the other way. " New Orleans Times-Democrat. l'ronf to the Contrary, Tourist This seems a dismal dead and alive place if ever there was one. Innkeeper (indignantly) Lor' bless my soul I Where 'uve yer come from? Why, a steam plow passed within 'arf a milo of tho end of this very street one day last week I Judy. Exitsperntlliff Kdlth, "Harry, my new frock Is either per fectly stunning or else It Is hideous." "How do you know?" "I met Edith lilnks when 1 was out, and she dldu't even mention It." De troit Free TresR, buy a "RAMHLHR" call and get your money. HER MOTHER KNEW. XV n n Smdent of llnmnn Nnlnre, Kut 11 Mind Hender. Mother And so yon engaged yonr self to that yonng man at Idlewild Springs, did yon ? Daughter (sheepishly) Y-e-s, ma, I promised to become his wifa "It was on a beautiful moonlight evening in June. " "Why, yes, ma. TIow did yon know?" "And tho hotel band was playing a ielightfnl waltz by Strauss," "Why, yes. Who told yon ?" "And you two wero in tho arbor on the lawn. " "Yes." "And the fountain sparkled in the moonlight and mado music which fei'ined like a fairy echo to the sweet melody which floated out from tho dis tant orchestra. " "Yes. How" "And the lake with its fleet of pretty boats gliding nWut the softly illumin nti'd waters seemed like n bit of lovely Venice dreaming at your feet" "Yes. yes. But how did you know all this?" "I knew it must have been nnder some such combination of circumstances that ho proposed or yon wonld never have said 'Yes' to such an addle pated nincompoop as that." New York. Weekly. Golfing Intelliffenee. ft Jones has recently taken up golf. lie is already proficient in one department 1 tho art of addressing the ball. Punch. spoken in irriTnnon. "Just think of having ft $10,000 sword In tlio house!" exclaimed Mrs. a Blyklns. "Well," exclaimed Mr. Blyklns as lie J took ft small dose of dyspepsia medi cine, "I'm glad 1 haven't any. It would , become grotesque. If we had n $10,- 000 sword, some of the women folks j around here would thluk it was Just the thing to sharpen lend pencils or lif t H carpet tacks with." Washington Stnr.i Little "Show me s ir.it n:r.n(ii'. i. g :.'.o tl' year uiidtr:thlrU,u w plr:;w. Six:' : in; a i,;;:i:h tjo tarira.. Size 30 would lit you a great deal bet ter." "I nm buying them, sir, for my youngest son. Kindly attend to tha nni'tlniilnr vnnnllim fnl U'llleh vnn F... V.U.. ,V..V.VM ....... draw your salary and show me Borua'i 883. U waol'VCUlouiu Tribune HP 1 , Milk)- I