ft ' i HERB wii bo skeleton In th II armor who Hartpole found Us only tome urn! tail a buucb of tumble-weed, a rattle-tusk, tod U rautula. Th tarantula scuttled off, b killed tht rattlesnake, tod tb tumble weed aud sand he emptied out Then he bad tbt armor don up In a abeltr teut and put upon a pack-mule. After which, tb column moved ou. it should not hav baited at all for It wai lu pursuit of a band of Indiana. Hut there were, baud of ludlani vry day, ami the finding of a full suit of armor lying under a uiesqult bush betid tbelr trail wat rare. Certaluly Hartpole had never heard of auch a thing. And, so far aa h knew, It was the only tult of armor ever discovered ,nn the New Mexico plains, but tils low on the subject was not profouud. When be got back to his two-company post ou the bauks of the Gila, he found the. Interest In life, which Und been lacking for him up to then, lu eu larglng that knowledge, lie seut Kant , for books and histories aud treatises concerning coats of mall, aud Hie titcn who have worn them, n-td he etc a went o far a to write to !he Suilthiculan lu.cst' Uon, at the risk of lutvlcg a gov wuit-t i nniat(,((Miu etfijl tw as. vawv to selae his treasure, i nil to. the Inter val of two months which eiupsed tie foto he received a reply- M the rati- be set slniut cleaulug the armor him self, and with bhrowu hands Jolulug It " together. II was so occupied, what with that and the histories and the other books, that ho forgot to have Gllabottoiu ma laria and bad no time to worry about the dies. Then, when the steel was once more bright as the aiure shield of Achilles, aud be had proved to his own aud to every oue'a satisfaction thai it must once have protected the body of one of Corooado'a men, and must date froin the middle of the sixteenth ecu " tury, or thereabout, be huug It up lu his one-room adobe quarters, aloug with the ludlno trophies that were as nothing now and the bottled reptiles of many sorts; and the fame of It spread through the laud. An English lord. In a pith helmet and gray lluen, who wss going about the country, traveled miles out of his way to look upon it; and a scientific party from Boston did the same. Uartpole was beginning to be very proud, when, one day, he had a visitor of another kind. It was a man he bad seen sometimes banging around the ageucy and the poat-a small, lithe fellow, part Coyo turo Apache, part Mexican, possibly a very small part white, who bad some reputation as a medlclne-man with the tribes, but not much as anythiug else. Uartpole was sitting under his ra mada on a late summer afternoon, read lug a book whose covers curled up with the beat, when somethlug came be tween him and his light, and, looking up, be saw the medicineman peering lu the opening. He snid, "Hullo, Clego," aud added, "What do you waut, eb?" Clego was so called because he was blind In one eye. He came In uuder the ramada, and stood so close to him that Uartpole moved a little. The Coy otero'a cast-off uniform and red head band were(not clean. Clego spoke excellent Spanish, and, aa Hartpole did, too, be bad no trouble about making himself understood. lie explained that be would like to see the suit of Iron clothes which be bad been told that the lieutenant possessed. The lieutenant was so pleased to think that It had been spoken of even In the fast nesses of the Sierra Wanes and of the Ton to Basin tbat be forgot bow dirty Clego was, and straightway rose and Invited him Into the oue room. The medicine-man stood looking at the armor with an interest and evident appreciation that touched Hartpole very much. After the maimer of his kind, be said no word, but presently be went neurer and felt of the plates and chains with bis fingertips, and put bis good eye close and looked Inside. Then he turned to Hartpole. "Where did you find It?" be asked. The lieutenant explained at some length. "Is It very old?" Hartpole said it was at least three hundred and thirty odd years old, and went Into a little history. Clego nodded bis bead. "I know," he snld. But tbat was so manifestly ab surd that Hartpole did not pay any at tention to It "It Is very fine," said Clego. "For bow much will you sell It to me?" Naturally, Hartpole only laughed, but the Apache was In ear nest, nevertheless. "No," be Insisted, looking him sharply In the face. "No, de veras, I wish to buy It from you." ' Well, I don't wish to sell," answered the lieutenant, rather vexed at the mere Idea. "I have five hundred dollars," said the Indian. "If you had a thousand you could not have It." " "I have a thousand." Hartpole laughed again, a little Im patiently; "Vou do not believe me look here." Clego drew a buckskin bag from the folds of bis sash. It was full of gold. "There are five hundred dollars here. In three days I can bring you five bun died more." Hurt pole guessed bow be had come by It, and his temper rose. "That Is stolen money," he said, angrily; "put It up. You can't have the armor. Uka shre." "Vou let me have It" begged Clego; "1 wish It very much. I will do muny things for you." Il.'irtnme swore this time men n. Spanish ouths. "No," be said, "you enu't have It Go to the Devil get out" - Even though Clego was only a dirty Indian, the Wblte-Kye should have re membered that be probably had feel ings which could be hurt It Is well,. . -however, for those who have the direc t.on of children and savages In their hands to remember that those simple folk have sometimes reasons for the things they do and say, good and suffi cient unto themselves. But It never occurred to Hartpole what this half-1 blind Indian's reasons might be. They (tid not transpire until some weeks Inter. Vet In Clego's tribe there was a le gend of a great white chief who hnd ' nee married one of their women, and Lad ruled over them, and who bad t' rn a suit of shining iron. And their tradition ran tbat whosoever should find and wear tbat garment again would be Impervious to the bullets of the White-Eye, would become the greatest of medlclne-men, and rule not ' only over his own people but over all the Apacie tribes and those of the plains pf the North, nd the very JEM 1 1! fin founder of that family to whlcb Clego belonged was reputed to have beeu the white chief In the coat of Iron. The Coyoteroa believed thes things and so did the medlcln man. So when the news of the armor suit had reached blm, he had levied heavy fee for bit Incantatlout for some months, and, adding these to the gold he had ex changed for Mexican dollars, collected from many raids, he took himself down to the camp of the soldiers to obtain fairly and by purchase tbat which waa bla very own. But fairness aud the offers of purchase had failed. . Clego looked the Wblte-Ey officer over from bit acalp to bis to, and up again, and then with do sound, save just one grunt, went out from the quar ters and from the post Hartpole told of It at the nvs that night aud forgot all about It after that. But Clego did not as Uartpole ought to have foreseeu. One night an Indian, his body naked as It was born, a polaoued knlf In bla baud, stole across the sandy parade ground when the moon wat uuder the clouds of a coming storm, aud slipped, as silently as nue but a savage ran, uuder the ramada of tlartpole'a quar ters, and thence through the open door. The Indian had missed nothing when be bad been In that one small room a month before, lie knew where every thing In It was, from the chromo In a blue frame on the wall to the cot In the corner, across from the ore-place. He bid himself behind the piece of calico that curtained off the nook where Hart pole' clothes hung, and waited until the moon showed for a moment through a break In the clouds, and be could se the figure on the cot beneath. the mos quito uet When the room wat dark again, be slid out; aud (be blade of the knife In hit hand went straight through the heart of the man asleep. Then he took the rattling armor from Its nails and wrapped It In the calico curtain, aud tied through the night, at silently and swiftly at ouly an Apache can. Now It happened that Uartpole bad gone to another post a good many miles to the east that very day, and he had loft hit striker to sleep In bis quarter and keep guard over hla things. So It was Into the luckles aoldler't heart that the knife was driven, and the next day a telegram apprised Uartpole that bis striker was murdered and bl suit of mall was goue. The day after that all the department knew that the Coyotero were on the warpath, and, having cut the reserva tion, were killing right and left. They were led by a medlclne-man called "Clego," and the scouts reported that be was dressed lu a garment of white iron which no White-Eye' bullet could pel roe. They also reported that the Chirleahuas and the I'ab I'tet and the Sierra Blancat were joining blm. It promised to be an Interesting time for the territories. Hartpole began to bave a dim Idea of why the uiedlclue-tuan bad wanted hi Spanish mall, now. He was ordered out, of course. Most of the department was. Trouble of the sort tbat this promised to be bad to be checked at once, If at all. It was serious already; but there was oue thing la favor to get away. Their fanatical faltb In tluvlr medicine man led them to seek battle rather thau to shun It. And twice, having done so, they bent off the troops, because there were, as usual, too few. But the third time they were caught In a pocket of the Mogallous, aud there were no less thau six troops against them. Hartpole't wat of the number. The Indians fought from dawn of the first day until twilight or the second, In the opeu at first, then from behind shel ter, then at last they retreated to a shallow cave high up ou a hillside, and there was no getting them out A mountain howitzer might have done It. but there was none with the command. AH day the troops fired volleys Into so much of the mouth of the cave as show ed between the pine trunks aud the walls of rock. They knew that the slaughter within must have been pretty severe, but there were no signs of sur render, nevertheless. The hostile might hold out until the last one was dead; tbey certainly would until their medlclne-man should full. The medl-cine-muu could be seen from time to time, a gleaming figure, moving clumsi ly among the trees and underbrush. And for all that It went so slowly and was so bright, no bullet seemed ever to hit it. Even the white men began to consider It with awe. . At sunset of the second day, when the sounds from the cave bad all but ceased and the Indians within It were without ammunition and at bay, the glistening form come clambering delib erately to the top of a high rock, whooping and yelling, calling the rem nant of Its followers on. It stood so, for a moment, the red tun rays striking through the pine branches on the dent ed steel, a weird slgfit In the depths of the mountain fastnesses of the New World; so odd and strange that the sol diers hesitated with their fingers on the triggers of their carbines. But Hartpole, kneeling alone behind a bowlder, remembered only that that glowing armor was his, and that he wanted It. The visor was up and be could see the glitter of the one good eye. He had won a sharpshooter's med al In bis time, and he put his skill to use now. There was a puff of smoke from above his bowlder, and the shin ing figure threw up Its arms aud stag gered. Then It fell forward, down from the pinnacle of rock, clattering and crashing among the logs and stones. They found, when they dragged him out, that Hartpole't bullet had gone straight through the good eye, and that Clego was clego In very truth now and quite dead. San Francisco Argo naut. Steam and Modern Navies, A whole fleet in the days of Nelson could be built and fitted out at little more than the cost of a single Ironclad; the coal expended on a single cruise would pay for the refitting of bis whole hnttlfi line, while the Immense shnita e. quired to make any Impression on the mniicrn armor uiuie cum more rnnn ma whole armament But the modern line-1 of-bnttlo ship could neither be built, ' armed nor fought without the use of steam, and Its evolution may be said t to have commenced with the first appli cation of tne steau engine to naviga tion. Tnrkey' Order ftr Gun. The order of 208 guus and two de stroyers for the Turkish navy hat been placed with Krupp of Essen, notwltb- standing that the tender of Armstrong, Wbltwortb & Co. of Great Britain wat more than $400,000 lest than that of the German flin. J f IWWIWW,WHw,W tttt I PROMINENT MEN WHO HAVE BEEN DISAPPOINTED IN PRESIDENTIAL ELECTIONS! HT is the very essence of presidential election that some candidate must get left. Sum oue must he dlsappoluted. And la the history of the republic many great uou bave sought aud lost tul cov eted prise. Three gi vat uauies stuud out proiuluvutly lu the lUt-Clsy, Webster aud Ulalue each the Idol of bis party, each the victim of political scheming. Aaruu Bun, just a htiudred jears ago, utlsted the .rveidvucy by the narrowest margiu, lie was su adept lu pnUtuul Intrigue, wltu a magnetic personality aud a brilliant uiiud that wou nitu enual favor lu the )e ot the voter with Jefferson, black received seveutythrve votes aud Ihia threw the vluctluu Into the House of ltepreeiittlve. Ttil.lyov ballots were takeu without rvnult. The federalists were anxlou to defeat Jefferson aud tiny gave their support to Burr until the thirty-sixth ballot, Tbeu, Burr refused to give pledge required ot him, tlwlr support waa withdrawn and Jvflfvrsou was chosea. In accordant with the law of those days Burr became Vlee-rresldent. But he was a disap pointed tuau. Following hi detest for the presidency came the fatal duel with Hamilton, the Itlemierhaasct seaudiil, hla traltoroua attempt to divide the country, hia temporary exile and social obscurity, I Witt Clinton was Mayor ot New York City for several terms, as well at United State Senator aud Governor ot New York Btste. lie wss popular with the people, but his strong character made him many political enemies. Whea Pres ident MsdUon wss renominated for t sec ond terra Cllntuu took the field aalut him and made a bard fight, but lust fur Isck of the vote of one Htate, of which he bad felt aure. Hi fame I secure, however, aa the "father of the Erie Canal." tleury Clay, like Blaine, mad repeated attempts to secure th presidency, nuly to fail esch time. It Is a coincidence tbst each would hsre succeeded were It not for the blunder of too Scstoua up' imrters. "Harry of th West" tried for the prise In l.H'.N, when John Qulury Ad ams wss elected, sUo In 1K3'.', when lis BAVARIA'S HALL OF FAME. Idea Crystallised in A mer'ca Is Not an Orilal On. America It not entitled to claim orig inality lu her purpose, to erect a hall of fame at the University of New York. Bavaria originated the Idea long ago aud a ball of fame exist In Munich to day. It la known a "Die llnliuies halle," and overlooks the newer part of the clty and th Tbvretteuwle. The hall waa begun lu 1M3 muter the su pervision of th Architect, Kb'tis arid was completed teu years llr. t H in the form of a mliuiuail. .seventy me ter lotig aud tlilrty t.vo meters wide, and ha two projecting wlni; which partly Inclose the l,tue of llnvatia, Tbla It a gigantic irou (inure, HO feet Aaruu Bun. jut a buudred j ears ago, . 1 ' ' vBt"' I I. The federalist were anxious to defe.it JQ& i$r WSl V MUNICH'S HALL OF FAME. high, weighing 04,177 kilograms, de signed by Kcbwauthaler. Along the front eolouuade of the Ituhuieshalle there are eighty busts of famous Bavarlrus. These are exposed to the air, but the Doric columns are so arranged that they protect the busts In a measure. TRIFLES NOT LIGHT AS AIR. Blight Causes that Have Resulted In Momentous l.veuts. Only a short time ago the ancient Swan Hotel at Ipswich, England, was destroyed by a fire, which originated through rats gnawing matches. The suddeu appearance of a hilarious , mouse among the occupuuta of the khI- i lcry of the Victoria Theater, WesttiK1 ster, on boxing night, 1858, started a J panic, which resulted In the death of fifteen people. I A mougtel cur strayed on the St. Legor course some years ago, just as the field swept by. Seven horses came down In a heap, and of the Jockeys who were1dlng them five were hurt three seriously! To win a bet of 2 pence a tittle pit lad, employed at the Feiudule colliery, In tLe Bhondda Valley, picked the lock of his safety lamp with an ordinary bnlrpjn. He himself, together with nearly 200 of his mates, perished In the e Union which followed. At Sloeburyness some fifteen years ago Col Francis Lyon Invented a new kind of;, sensitive fuse for big caliber shells, and Invited a number of gun nery experts to be preseut at the trials. On the night prior to the day pn which the experiments were to be made he locked up a number of the fuses In a thed In which there were some fowls. The chickens started scratching, and the dust flew up and settled on the threads of the screws of the fuses. When, next morning, on unfortunate gunner started to fjx one to a live shell, the missile went off, killing the opera tor, the Inventor and five other persons. Burrowing rabbits so weakened the foundations of a tall chimney at Cleck beaton, Yorkshire, that It fell, crushing to death fifteen people. The gambols of a big retriever some sny the playful antics of two children sufficed to wreck the west conch Scotch expre"" iagt yf,ar a luggage trolley was started, ran down the sloping plat form and toppled over onto the line In front of the train. The Espcranza was cast away on the J ' e ' Wt t wst overwbelmltiKly detested by Andrew Jarkon, la 1MO the adoption ut the unit rule prevented Clay's nomlnslion In stead of William Henry llarrboo. fn IHU the Whlit nominated blm If accla mation aud Clay'a elect loo seemed cer tain. But his Southern adherents blun dered by Inducing blm to favor the an nexation of Tesas, aud that lot him the vote of thoimnmle of anil slavery men. The Whig wnn In MH and Clny would bave been their choice If Gen. Taylor's newly made military reputation hud not Itiveu the nomination to that hero. Itatiiel Wc Inter la another great per sonality anions' the uuucctful tsplr sut for the presidency. Had he con sented In INW to accept the nomination coast of Chill through a toddler of 5 meddling with the compasses. Bite bad ou board ninety-seven souls, and all but eleven perished. Among the saved wat the Innoceut cause of the tcrrlnio catas trophe. A tire whlcb was directly rrxponslble for the lost of more lives thau any oth er single counngratlon, originated through the vagaries of a tarantula. Th scene was Santiago ami ayjrand religious feithnl was taking pi In the principal cathedral. The b. lUMng was a sen of draper), Oov? d n :! ev er virlfft" ' !ttiM,i"iti ' Tweniy thousand ,lv,-r 'Hi.,, lu full blare ami the acolyte we swsy llghttnir the 2,Cw ta'iers on tue I .rand ailur w l.vii Ui enant spider shipped luto the central aisle and alarmed a Indy, who screamed. The acolytes, or some of them, looked around to ascer tain the cause of. the commotion and one of the miked lights they 'carried came lu contact with the drapery of a colossal figure of tlto virgin. A fow minutes litter the vast cathedral was a raging furnace, In which were being consumed more than 2,000 bodies. Struy Stories. HIS MINDJSTILL CLEAR. Thouuh a Physical Wreck, Herbert Rpencer Is H roriu Mentally. The liiipi-Cis of the labors if. h pert Spencer upon the plillosopl,' 4 r the wifld will be felt long after ..-reat itu'tlpir. ban wrob.M in(n tj;'j, Kpene-er will be 81 next April.' lf'&n'k that ,l.o' has shrunk to the pr,poftions of a mummy unit Mini j sM-iidii. most of his time gaitlng dreamily at the tea from his house In Perelval terrace, Brighton. Last year Mr. Spencsr flu- 1 lshed his work upon hla great system of synthetic philosophy with the publica tion of a revised edition of his Biology. Although his body Is In a state of desiccation, his mind Is yet amazingly clear aud he Is Interested as of old In the political and Industrial develop ment of the time, Ills eyes retain their Intellectual keenness and his health It good except for the Insomnia - from which he but never been free since ha was a young man. He sees no one save his most Intimate friends, and the visits of even these hurt him. The only person whom he loves to have call upon him lg Mn. IlKHUHHT SPKNCItn. f M M M M as Vice-President oa the ticket with gachary Taylor he would, upon the tat ter's destb In INftO, bave become Presi dent. In 1M.VJ Webster's friends made a determined effort to aeeure him the nomi nation, but party Jealousy made their ef fort tiarles. This great man felt keen ly the disappointment of bl Imp, and bis death occurred on Oct. U tbat ssme year. Cass, who wss very prominent In national politics sixty years ago, hsd Ifco narrow escapes from preideutlsl Itahttiiug. In 1M4 an uneipected ad journment of the Democratic convention just a Css wss shout to be nominated save time for a surre'ul combination against bim In favor of James K. Polk. Beatrice Webb, bit former ward. Mrs. Webb was trained by tho philosopher himself. This rcmarknblo lady, whose Intellect Mr. Spencer prououuee to be the finest possessed by any living woman, Inherited a great fortune which she I spending among the poor lu Loudad. In spite of her distin guished uiirster's repugnance to the doc trines of socialism, bit brilliant aud beautiful w ard became the wife of Syd ury Webb and threw herself with In tense devotion luitf the tauso of tlie "CtilbT'lvlsK" "'ft --T bnrtro' Of "Mr Spencer's old ape Is added the d'i! pututmer.t of '!ns; the woiii'tn wiiotu be 1-SN-rV'V -Hire. I ..d whom he SuV.'d as a child embracing the theories of a school which, among all the phenomena of social life, was alone capable of rousing blm Into feelings of bitterness. PASSION PLAY REALISTIC, Lilian Hell Dewrlbe th Actlna: of the rsant of Oueratnmeraau, In the Womau't Home Companion Lilian Bell wrltct of her experiences at Obcram merge u and of the impression made upon her by the great Christ drama. She concludes with these vivid words: "As to the play Itself, I wish 1 need sny nothing about It. My uiiud, my heart, my soul, have nil been wrenched and twisted with such emotion as Is not plcasuut to feel nor expedient to apeak about. It wits i too' real, too heart rending, too awful'. I hate, I abhor myself for feeling things so nctitely, I wish I were a skeptic, a scoffer, an atheist. I wish I could put my mind ou the niechaulsm ot the play. I wish 1 could believe that It all took place two thousand years ago. I wish I didn't know that this suffering on the stage was all actual. I wish 1 thought these people were really Tyrolene peasants, wood-enrvers aud (Hitters, and that all this agony was only a play. I hate the women who are weeping around me. I hate tho men who are letting the tears run down their cheeks and whose shoul ders are heaving with their sobs. It Is so awful to see a man cry! "But no, It Is all true. It Is taking place now. I am one of the women at the foot of tho cross. The anguish, the cries, the sobs, are all real. They pierce my benrt. Tho cross, with Its piteous burden. Is outlined agshw the real sky. The gi;wn hill teyund u UnU-ary. Doves flutter in and out? and bmtertllea dart across iho shafts of. ptmllgl t, The ex nrw.Alou 0! C'hr't' face -i ono of an g .fish, fiM-ghnessand pity unspeakable. Then his head drops forward on his breast, it grow dark, tho weeping be come lamentation, and as they ap proach to thrust the spear Into hia side, from which, I have beeu told, the blood and water really may be seen to pour forth, I turu faint and sick and close my eyes. It has gone too far. I nm no longer myself, but a disorganized heap of racked nerves and hysterical weep ing, and not even the descent from tho cross, the rising from the dead nor the triumphant ascension can console mo nor restore my balance. The Passion Play but once In a lifetime." MUST BE A HEALTHY PLACE, Washtnatton Man' Wife Spollel His Chances of Hhtrklna Duty. A young Westerner who nailed a Job In one of the departments about a year ago got Into the habit from the Jump of putting In a time slip pretty frequently, explaining each time to the chler of his division that hit wife was very delicate and that she had sent for him. Then the young man would repair to his fa vorite nialson de lush and put In a cou ple of extra hours of enjoyment or cross the river on the electric cart to that large shed where even money, and even money only, la given against race horses that are 3 to 1 at the track, or otherwise toy with the blithesome hours. During the past summer the young Westerner tore one hour oil the dally stunt every day, leaving the office at 8 o'clock, and put In a slip, Informing the chief of his division tbat his Invalid wife was staying out In the country, near a small Virginia town, and that la m Css wss United Btites Bea st or, but resigned when the Democrat nominated blm for the presidency. Ow ing to th opposition ot the V re Hollers, be did not receive the electorsi vote ot New York Mist., and the Whig csodt- dste, Tsylur, wou toe prl llorsee Greeley's defeat In the prvsl' deutlsl contest of 1872, with Its direful ifleruistb, wss political tragedy. High In tli ruimdls of the Hepabllcto party, respected by th whole people, Grevley put silde the bolltlcal principles of a lifetime to become the caudldste of Dent ocrsey. Overwhelming defrst broke bis generous heart and was quickly followed by datb. Hsmuel J, Tlldeo's failure to be Into gurated ss President of the fulled Htstes la the one wesk Hub In the presidential ehslu tbst connect the preseut with the dawn of the republic. Th result of the contest In 18711 wst In doubt from the eluse of the polls on electlou day until March 2, 1H77, when the electoral coiihiiIimIou appointed to set tie the matter decided that Itutherford B. Hsye had received INS votes as sgaluat IMs for Hamtiel i. Tlldeo. It was t perilous period, sud the nstlon owes much to the msn who refrained from spesklng the 'w ord that might bsve plunged the country Into civil wsr. James G. Blaine, the "Plumed Knight," Is perhaps the ssddest figure la the galaxy of American slsr statesmen who bsve sought the presidency, but sought In vslu. for a score of yesrs bis name was slwsys uppermost In the pub lie mind whenever the Itepuhllcsn party met lu convention. In 1N7U the nomina tion wst hmt within his grttp. In 1K.SO be received a first ballot vote of SHI, but he snd General Grsnt. bis strongest rival, bad both to step sslde for the compromise rsndldste, Gsrfleld. In 1HH be was certain of victory, hut fslled through the loss of New York Ktste try the narrow margin of 1,047 votes. Among other well-known men who tried to tie President sud failed were Gen. McClellsn, Gen. Hancock, Benja min K. Butler, Willism J. Brysa and Admiral Iewey. If be didn't ratcb the 3:15 train he'd bave to remain In Washington ovci night. A lam t 12:45 on last pay day a splen did buxom woman, who would prob ably have tipped the beam easily at 175 pounds and whose cheeks werellkewlld roses, walked Into the office of this chief of division and sweetly asked If she could tee her husband. She was the young Westerner's wife. The chief told her that her h unhand wat out at I it. a. She tald she wouldn't wait, and iv-ept out, regal, handsome, the very me el and picture ot robust physical i.i utth. ' ,. "Say," said the chief of dlvlslon vn'w Is malarious, dyspeptic and emaciated-to the young Westerner when the latter returned from his lunch, "where did you say your wife spent last summer?" The young Westerner named the place, not without wondering If any thing had happened to put bit chief "uext." "Well." said the chief, "that must be a rattling healthy place, and blamed If I don't believe I'll move down there with my family. Your wife wat In her a while ago!'' "Tnlklng about feeling like a nickel's worth o' strawlierrles In the middle o winter!" remarked the young Western er afterward, In telling the story upon himself.-Washington Post. One Against tho Other. Oue of the duties of a private secre tary Is to protect hi employer from people who would waste bl time. Sometimes a doorkeeper serves this purpose. At the Republican natlonul headquarters a valuable "fender," says the New York Commercial Advertiser, Is the man at the door of Senator Uan nn's room. The officer hns been guarding the doors at political headquarters for a long time, and Is able to discriminate between those who should be let In and those who should be kept out. Last week one of the objectionable class ar rived, aud asked to see the Scuntor. "Busy now," said the doorkeeper. "Take a seat In the anteroom, please." Presently another visitor arrived. He was a poet who had campaign verses to sell. The doorkeeper "slxed him up" at once, and took him to the door of the anteroom. "See that gentleman sit ting there?" be said, pointing to the first unwelcome visitor. "Well, Just sit down and say your poetry to blm.", In nbout five minutes the first visitor left the bulldlrigpWhen tho poet again asked for Mr. Hanna It was found that he hnd gone for the day. Called Toddy a Lobster. As Governor Roosevelt and two other men were crossing 83d street, Now York, from the Republican headquar ters, they met Lieutenant Governor Woodruff and the party stood talking ou the car tracks until they were al most run down by a street car. "Get off the track, you big lobster," shouted the motorman to Governor Roosevelt and Lieutenant Governor Woodruff, as they were shaking hands, "Are you trying to hold up this car?" "That'a tho Governor," remarked a man on the car. "Take It all back, Governor; I'm the lobster," said the motorman, taking off his hat to the Governor, who waved hla hand and laughed. No Plaoe Like Home. An Atchison man took alck Saturday and decided to stay home till he got rested. He was back at work Monday. Ills wife had asked him within a few . hours to take care of the baby, to chop onions for pickles, to grind the coffee, to dress the chicken, and to milk the cow "while be was resting." Atchison Globe. ' . Teiittent, Mrs. Good-It is drink that baa brought you so low. The Tramp Yes'm. It has brought mo ao low that I can't get a drink. Puck. ' - - The chaperon la going out of style. The custom waa Invented by the wom en as a means of getting ugly old anata In the push occasionally. WOW LOVE IS MADE IN MEXICO. 1 I Yoaa sad Women Fartty Meet, Ouly la Prut of Ulrl'a k.ltl. feuora Adslalda Vasquel Bcblsfflno, a Mexican woman, lu a paper In th Woman' Horn Companion, entitled "Th Social Sphere of Mexican Wom an," writes as follows of courtship be yond th ttlo Grande: "A Mexican girl reallzet she it i mist of tome Importance wheu she bat at tracted the attention of a would be cav alier, wbo has seen her at mass or dur ing a promenade on the plszu, Without th formality of an Introduction be dis patches letters glowing with words of admiration aud devotion, aud nervously awaits a reply. la the meantime he Visits the locality of her home, hoping to catch sight of the object of his ad miration at th balcony or a she emerget from the house to attend church, lie pntlcutly but persistently promenade buck ward and forward lu the street, for custom forbid bis en trance to th bouse, aud Is happy If favored with a glance from her lustrous black eyes, No ridicule 1 strong enough to dampen his ardor, and no objections of Irate parent tullicleully powerful to subdue bis passion. "Mexican lover rarely meet, for even If the young man I related to the fam ily of the young lady, aud has beeu a caller at the home, tbe mere fact of his paying atteutlon to her put a severe restraint ou bis Intercourse with the family. After a time, If things have progressed favorably, he Is admitted as an accepted suitor, and I received by the girl alway accompanied by her mother, wbo usually doe all lit ou--versa tlou. But love finds many forms of expression, and stolen glances, never suspected, speak Volume for th lov ert. At (lie tult progresses muny an evening passes with tbe girl at the win dow or balcony, and her lover lu the street below, wholly oblivious of the paaser-by or bis naive or caustic re mark, The duration of a courtship de pend upon the formality employed, tbe means at command of the parties, aud their age. Consent for tbe marriage It demanded from the parents of the girl by tbe suitor's father, who Is accom panied by a priest. Hint the pledges may be made the more binding." ENGLAND' J GREATEST TENOR. f ins Rev,W bo Uied Recently la Com pur tire I'ov.-rly. The death of Sim Reeves, whlcb oc curred not long ago lu Sussex, En gland, removed oue of the greatest singers of his day. For many yeurs he ranked as the first of F.iigllsb tenors. He bad a voice or wonderful purity and sweeiuot that cap tivated all who heard It, and although 70 when he died It had Sim HKKVK. lost but little of its rare quality up to a short time ago. Reeve was born near London aud early dis played great musical talent. Before he w as 14 he could play ou several musical Instruments, but nnturc had endowed blm with a magnificent voice which needed but little training to bring out Its richness. He made his public sp pea ranee lu 18.TJ and met with Imme diate success. Later he studied undet French and Italian masters and while In Milan be appeared In "Lucia Lam mcrmoor," his singing winning the highest praise. lie returned to bis na tive laud In 1847 and was Immediately recognlKod aa Knglaud's leading tenor, tie never s choired the great fortune Hint lay within I.I gra.'p and died In comparative poverty. In ISO he mar ried Miss Luccombn, an opera singer, aud started on a singing tour of Aus tralia. He became bankrupt and was recently granted a civil peuslou of $5IK) by Queen Victoria, which saved blm from utter destitution. He Found What He Wanted. Some Indians from Buffalo Bill's Wild West, arrayed In bright-colored blaukets and an exceptional amonnt of face paint, were taking lu the sights of the city the other afternoon. They strolled dowu Walnut street, single file, and, bended by a buck who nqw and then gave a grunt of satisfaction wheu something that pleased blm caught his eye. they halted In front of a drug store and gazed at the window display for a moment. Then the band tiled luto the establishment aud began to look around. The clerk thought the place was go ing to be besieged, and that he was likely to lose his scalp, but when the "big chief," who acted as spokesman, addressed blm with the customary In dian greeting of "How!" the clerk re-- gnlned tils composure enough to osk the Indian- what he wanted. "Heap smell," was the reply. Directed by the Indian's finger to s showcase the clerk produced a bar of. soap. The brave .took it gingerly, re moved the wrapper, sniclled It and bit Into the toothsome-looking article. With a deep grunt of displeasure he handed It back to the drug clerk. With a ills gusted look, he remarked, "Heap smell." The clerk besnu to tremble ntnl point ed to n perfume bottle lu the show case. The bottle of perfume was hand ed to him. The Indian held It In both hands for a moment, closely semt lull ing It. Ho slowly removed the stopper, closely watching It ns If he expected It to explode, nud took n long sullt nt the botthv srnva n grunt of satisfaction, handed tho clerk some money and led his band of brave out of the store, to the delight of the frightened clerk, who had uot been In tho practice of waiting on renl Indians. Kansas City Journal. Carried Grandma.' Picture. Somo time ago wheu Prince Henry of Prussia, who, ns all know, h the grandson of Queen Victoria, w,n at Hong-Kong, the captain of a British trading steamer sailing out of that port was walking rotiud the graving duel: in whlcb the Prince's flagship was being brushed up, wheu be saw an olllcor standlug near the gougwny leading from the quay to the ship, jind, being curious to have a look over the vessel, he saluted with a "Good uiorulng, sir." aud asked if he had nny objection to his having a walk through the ship. "Not at all," replied tho olllcor. "1 Bhnll be delighted to escort you round." After 8h0vlifghTru over the different parts of the warship the officer took tho captain into his cnbln. He offered lihu a clgnr and a glass of wine, suul they had quite a friendly chut together. Be fore leaving the captain happened to glanco round the cabin aud saw a photo of Victoria. Said ho to the officer: . . "I notice you have a photograph of tbe Queen of England." "Yes," answered the officer, "I al ways carry one of my grandmother's pictures with me." What the captain's feelings were when he found he had been- en cama raderie with the admiral. Prince Henry of Trussln, can be better Imagined than described. There's always room nt the top but few men car to dwell In an attic. T WA8 N0T CONSCIENCE, Mad ltoDSt by tbe Sight of a Dllp4 I dtlil Umbrella. Here is a highly moral tale whlcb Witt mak good reading for both old and young. It I a valuable Illustration ot th text, "The wty of tbe transgrewor It bard." it Is story of a wotnio and an umbrella. It la apparent that th umbrella has been the cause of th fall from strict honesty of many otherwise Irreproachable Individual. Tbe woman lu this story, up to the occurrence of this puitlculiir event, however, bad found the umbrella to be the source ot ,.- . 1 . t . . . m . ' t tue uinny uu uer pan 01 oiuj rstci- leut virtues add had suffered many things because of tliein. She bad been snlpolly treated by women, barely thanked by men aud openly snubbed by the autocrats of the surface cars' In her efforts to see that absent-minded people did not lose tLeir umbrellas. And In some way she seemed always to be finding unattached umbrellas, and ber conscience forbade her leivlug them without an attempt to find the owners. On this particular day she was resting quietly In one of the parlors of a big New York shop w ben quite according to 'her custom she espied beside ber an umbrella. It was rather dark lu tbat corner of the room and she could not see tbe umbrella distinctly, but the put her band on It, found that It wst tilk, and w ith a weary sigh rope to find tome one w bo would take charge of IL Why should sb be ni'id" tl nnbll" en- tod at! of UlulTi llnsl , yeiU c!( M .'i trted f, It nd the ;brd wouiau in ..1 , .1 I.. . .1. I. .,.,! , Ms- . -, .-i ,--ir'o,v-,, t i.-y-M , wn !. ., lut not one t.s hi i'ht. la out urf''!ui counter ! walked ' Veti-lfy.'.ij.n not a .Mr wsiifcer to, bo I '"!!. I .., i '.Itf U4iMIIWII . ... "What a goose yon are!" said the In- wnrd voice. "Here you spend your time looking up people to take charge of lost umbrellas, sud 1 don't believe that once In a thousand years they ever reach their owners. Take that umbrella home with you snd don't be a fool." The voice was growing emphatic. It was probably because sh waa tired, but, anyway, without a moment resistance the woman stopjied her search aud walked out of the shop with, the umbrella which would now be hers. She walked on with conscious careless ness, not venturing to give glance st It She did not do this until she was in the car on her way home. Then she did look down and saw In ber hands a silk nmbrella, to be sure, but old and ragged, an umbrella wblcb would be a disgrace to the poorest costume. Some .woman had bought a new umbrella aud discarded this rag. And now the finder must get rid of It. She hadn't felt like a thief before, but now she did. How could she get rid of H? She did not dare throw It In the street, for that would be conspicuous. She laid It on the neat, as far hack as possible, looktd unconscious again, and at Inst sneaked that wat the way she felt out of that car and actually ran until she wat srouud the corner and no one could pos sibly return to her the umbrella she had voluntarily stolen.-New York Times. THE HEROINE OF TO-DAY. the lagelf-Rellant, I'll y lea! ly F Iron a, and Kitted to 1 e Man' Companion. The heroine of modern life and flc- llnn la cruilrastUiLtt LLh..LliO-hi!Xulue Xtt. the ccntury't. Ci ginning by Robert Grant, in the Woman' Hi rue Compan ion. In the f.Miowlug passage. Judge Urant loaves iiulo doubt as to which of the two be preim.- v - -- -"Not ouly , ;uau herself, but the universe, rejol rlt iu the new heroine ot reul life aud coutempotary fletiou--lb9 elf rellaut, Incredulous, sphere-seeking, critical, yearning modern woman. Even tbe rose on her bosom wears a prouder demeanor, us though conscious of her changed estate. Who would re maud her to her Insipid servitude? Certaluly not man. She has become bis true companion Instead of his adoring doll. The Amelia Sedleys have passed away from the face of the earth for ever, and the Marcellas rule In their place. And yet, with the swinging of the pendulum lu mind, a philosopher may be pardoned for droppfbg a few violets on the grave of the heroine of the past; even ou poor Amelia Sedley's Amelia, who would certainly have bored this philosopher to the point of weariness. "Amelia Sedley was the sheer heroine of the past without lights and shadows. But her more attractive sisters He also u their graves, and memories' of some uf them come back to us fragrant with virtues in spite of their limitations, which, It seems to a philosopher, the new heroine the Gibson girl cannot afford to disregard. They had no minds to speak of. It Is true. That Is, they were parrot-like In their repetition of what their husbands and fathers and brothers told them was so; and their energies were devoted to household concerns the generation and rearing of babies, the production of delectable food, to darning, nursing, church-work and small charities. They were gener ally timid and afraid of mice, dis! cllned to athletic exercise and heroic undertakings; they had no clubs, and did not aim to be original. But think how daMy and pure-minded and ten der they were! Dainty with the nlce ness of dolls, pure-minded with the In nocence of the moated grange, tender with the loving forgiveness and foolish Infatuation of tdolntora, It may beand yet dainty, pure-minded and tender." Did the Handsome Thing. In a volume of reminiscences Just published entitled "The Wedding Day In Literature and Art," a minister re lates bis experience with two weddings In the same town on the same day, one iu the morning, one lu the afternoon. "The first wedding fee I received was $10," he says, "a very large remunera tion for the place and people." After tho second wedding the best man called me Into a private ro m aud thus addressed me: ' .. " 'What's the tax, parson?' " 'Anything you like, or nothlne at all,' I answered. (I have frequently re ceived nothing.). " 'Now,' said he, 'we want to do ITTT" thing up In style, but I have had no ex perlence in this business and do not know what Is proper. Y'ou name yen figure.' "I suggested that the legal charge, was $2. "'Pshaw,' he said; 'this ain't legul We want to do somethlug handsome.' " 'Go ahead and do it,' I snid. Where upon be reflected a moment and then asked me how much I had received for the wedding In the morning. " 'Ten dollars 1 replied. "His face brightened at once. Here was a solution to the difficulty. ' " 'I'll see his ante,' he remarked, 'raise hlra $5 and call' Whereupon he handed me $15." We hope we do not lack sympathy for the enthusiasm of youth, but we don't like to hear a college "yell." If you would know a man as he really laou must diue with htm occasionally.