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About The Independence west side. (Independence, Or.) 18??-1891 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 5, 1890)
iinatwaii'iTiaTrtrc-t- EASILY EXPLAINEO.' WJ Oh CUrrw' Ctgl W"M wj AtteaUv. A clergyman was kmentln th M that bis congnti.w ipprwl to be restices during htsortnons, wid decUrwl that wituvy of the member of hi would got P right at the tim fancied himself most Impressive anJ would Uve the house. "Thart bad," wuvwl ft young preacher, "but I muit my tht I do not Kperienc ny Men ftnno)nct Not ft aitujl member of my congregation ft up and goes out during service." "You dont wy o!" tlto first srakf Mclaimed. "now do yon manage UT I donl manage it at all-ecetna to manage itself." "Dout they complain when you preach a long ecrtnonr "No, I've ww heard ft word of com plaint." That is indeed singular. our poo. e muitt have been exceptionally well wight up." No, I think not" "Then you wast be one of the moat eloquent of tnen. What ia the atyle of your preaching?' "Oh, rather dry, I mu compelled to limit. I do not posses the faulty of drawing an interesting illustration or of throwing out ft bright idc." "Well, well, 1 have new heard of anything eo wonderful And yon tU me thnt no one ever got up and got out." "Yes, that' what I toll you." "Wiill, I don't understand it, that'! all." "Oh, it is easy enough to explain. I am chaplain at the penitentiary. St. I'atU Pioneer Pre, A Anrl.nl ami a Mudani RmuNi Eewaa thrown out a rose, and left The question waa decided. He waa thrown out, arose and left The question was decided. Judge. Eipramd Dlr.rnll. "Oh. Matilda," said Penelope Bunker' hill to her Chicago cousin, "I'm ao glad that you and Mr. Pigsticker are to be tuarri.il. kauw what it is to love my self, too, n:id 1 can imagine just how you fwd w'leo he U near you. Uow your heart seems ready to burst with the lore that . it holds for himl Bow you long to throw yourself at bis feett How his every ghuice thrill you with an ineTprwtsible, sublime feeling, and" "You ycrlifu yer right!" replied Matilda P.i.'kiu-, " 'cause I'm dead atuck on Bub!" Lawrence American. A Psrtlentar Vomns. Mrs. Sharp What is the matter with Mrs. Portly? She ha always been ao ariiitocrntic and dignified, and they say alie is gjtting very pKuliar. Mrs. Keen Yes. I hear ho walk in her leep. Mrs. Sharp Walk in her lecp? Oh, no, my dear Mrs. Keen. ' She might drive in her sleep, but he ha too much regard for appearance to walk. Ameri can. Chested. "What are you crying about, little man?" "1 gotter stummlch ache." "Doe it hurt much?" "Oh, I don't mind that: but I on'y had one piece o' pie. Couldn't have had more atummich ache 'f I'd eaten ton piece boo hoohoor Puck. KlghUon VI" rath. Tailor I really do hope you will settle this little account today, nr. I have a heavy bill to pay my cloth merchant Captain (calmly) Confound your 1m- pudence! Yon go and contract debU, and oome dunning me to pay them. Get out, or Til send for the police -Harper a B'iZ'l ' - His Idea of it. "Well, Fred, you're an uncle now; you ought to be proud over it." Little Fred-No. I oughtn't to. I in't no nncle. . Grandpa-Why not? Little Fred 'Cause I'm an aunt The new baby' a girl Chatter. Stunners. New York How did yon like Gil more' band at the beach? Boston Couldn't hear it, the bathing dresses were so loud. Lowell Citizen. Vie for Fat Men, "And that stout son of yours, what if he doing?" "He's a hammock teeter." New York San. At Three o'Clook lu the Morning. Voice (from inside the safe) Don't tue powder, boys. I might get hurt. 'Cffbozey, the Nipper Who are you? Voice The assistant cashier. The door snapped to on me about ten minute i ago. Puc. Ills Prerogative. They wero sitting close together on the train. It was evidently their bridal tour, if spooniness counts for anything. "Ducky," said ho, "we're getting near tunnel." . ' . 11 Sir "What of itr ftsked ftli, oh, ao tnno-' ecntly. "I'm going to kiss you when we get tn there." "Oh, you" "All the latest and most popular nor els!" interrupted the train boy, " 'Hi Private Character,' and" "Y I am," said the swain. "And "Thou Shalt Not!' " cried the train boy. "Ye I shall, too!" said the angry hna band jumping to his foot, "and 1 11 lick any one thnt trie to stop me." We had toanicker, Lawrence Ameri ' can. 1 Some Awu.lni Answer. The school examiner in South Africa scein to get ft selection of quite as winn ing answer aa any that stand to the ac count of the scholar lu our own elemen tary school. Here are a few specimen! "The day is longer in summer owing to expansion by the heat." "The upper course of river is where it travel up country, the mldu'e course where it goe ' on level." "Once ft year we have the whole bright side c f the sun turned to ward nt, then it is summer. The sun is in the soltioe. and stands till." "A bar is a piece of iron arrow river month. It prevents navigation and ha to be cut i through with ft team edge. "-Chatter, Nol rtHrlnf, Mr. Ilighup (floorwalker for the Ann of Spotcash A OO-r-Aw-Mr. 8iteh, , if 1 should wish to take my vacation the i first week in September would It-aw-b ahsking too much? j Mr. Upotoaah-Not t all, Ulgttnp, not at all. Spare )'ou Jlutt u 'l ot. : fMr. Ilighup goe out of hi chief private oftlce with the merenry in the f il.UMUH,diae Af 111 as Stasis Mitlflfe BtttHftrrkl liirriHMuwwi vt 'i vvHvf degtws lower.J-Chicago Tribune. 0ren4l. "My son," said the old guntleuian, "whatever betide yn never fail to rvreserve the prtuciplo of patriotism. Ktriotism is on of the greatest thing ttutt can hifluenco hutu.m life." "I know it, father," waa the reply. But doeu't it strike you that there is a tremendous lot of people in the busi tuwT Washington Post A Bad riicht. "Have a Inittle of onr Miraculous Hair Producer? It will make hair grow on ft porcelain door knob and never falls." "But I've tried iti it's no good-had no effect whatever." "Then (sympathetically) there must be something the matter with your head." Chatter, I In Soluimtlif Titus. The Village Pastor Johnny, you tell me you have been to Sunday school? The Bad Boy Ye, air. I The V. P. But, Johnny, your hair I wet The a a-Yes, sir; it's a Baptist Sun day school Boston Time. Me Ceekla'l Help Hlmwlf. "Eat hearty, Mr.Bliven," said the land Luly. "1 hope yon will help yourself while you are bens." "No," sighed Billy iu an undertone, "I cant; the reason 1 stay her is because I can't help myself." Washington Post Us Hada'l Any. "nave you an umbrella?" "Utn, let' aw; it's rainlug, isn't It? If I remember right I left my nmhrella standing in the hall rack. No; I haven't any. Washington Post The Masher of the Lane-Where are yon going, my pretty niaid? Ureenbrier (the farmer' danghtr After a bigger pail to put that chestnut In. Puck. Mot Bo Oranl Afisr All. "1 don't think," said Smith, "u. . Oeorge Washington, great a man as hw waa, would ever have succeeded in the bonnes of op mannfacturer, if he had engaged in it" "Why notr asked Jones. "Because," answered Smith, "he oould not tell lye." Boston Courier. HE PREFERREO IT. Why the Third OBr Bods Vndsr Ihe Car esat. Three brother officer were traveling from- Umritsir to Lahore, where they bad been playing polo during the after- MnM. An, thntn tfrod aflAr tha m on on8 ()f tne ,,ltA Hi() ranw,y ticket, which was .ticking g ,iu,9 mt o( Wa WM pTOmptiv annexed by one of the others and trans- ierred to his own pocket When near- ing Lahore hi brother officer awoke the aieeping youth, saying: "Now, then, old man! Get up! Her are!" . It wa still broad daylight, and for aome reason or other th train was pulled nn some little way outside the station. "All tickets ready, ploatef" shouted the ticket collector. Two of our friends promptly found theirs, ready for the ticket collector when he should make hi appearance. The third searched this pocket, that pocket, here, everywhere, but could find no ticket. "Good gracious! whore is my ticket?" he said. "I know I had one right enough when I itarted. Y fellows saw me got it, didn't you?" be ftBked. "Ye. you had it right enough," they said. "Where on earth can you have put itr "I don't know, blessed if I do," lie re plied in desperation. "You'll have to pay the fare," said the others consolingly. "It's not much." "But I haven't a cent with me," he returned. "Will yon fellows lend, me some dibs?" Both said they were as Ugh and dry as he wa in regard to money. "Tickets, please," laid the .collector at last, quite close to the carriage. t "What the dickens shall I dor' said the ticketless one. , ' "Oh! get nndcr the seat," sold th others; "quick! quick, man! here he come." Under the seat like a shot rnt the man without ft ticket! When th tteltet collector came to the door three tickets were handed up. "Yon have given me three ticket, ir," he said; "but I see only two gentlem.ont -where is the third?" "Oh! he's under the seat," they said with the greatest nonchalance, a if it were an ordinary every day affair. "Under the seat!" echoed the ticket collector, in toBourpri, "shstls he doing tbore!" "Ohl h ol way travels wsder the neat," they saidj "he prefers it!"-Tit-Bit. I M aiewwrewi .. i . . - ". THE LAST COOO-OY. Rnw shall snow II Is th Imt tml byt Th sktas IU sot W ttnrliint In that knnr, No suertsa bUsht III full o Intt nr llnwsr, Ko singl Unt will hnih n wti ary, Aw you UI hold Rir hwln, sml sitilltf Mr lh Jtwl as Iwtnr. rVn-lnuun Uie wiilih'H lean Is yuur daar sjrss IU snawwr lo my mm; ftul Umts will eoni no mtrc ut pri'iihwy - He ratue SS SUpfi "Ham, sud na Msiw. Mum for Ism words, but kkmi ssd but ftyf, IVir sU th wild, tuittiltltfalod win , Uf Mi cms who, puting. vls hsn,ls with d snsir ," "Who kaowsrwsssjr, but iKml siul f,riwUu Would aay ehom tu n thus umsnit Utulw U Uuultoa. A PRITTV flllH'Q WHIM , VJIIVlia UIllJl, It wa. ft beautiful gartlon- garden In Which oue might almost l.we one self ftmoug the heavy sweotneas of the bh- nulling ayrtngft h. and the avenue of piuk wygella that wound Irregularly here and there. jiwaa ftduiyuay. a g n ay nuy in ft wide lufurioua hamui.x k, her bright head on the aoft tintM cushion, her deeji brown eyee upraiHl to the whls- pering i leave wove. ( We looked the ideal of happy cutout a she lay there in pretty lasiuess. one slim hand drooping over the hanums k clge, A great Newfoundland dog lay on the grass her w she swayed gently to ud fro, toying alT tlonately with the .dog's great, nol.l head. Sometime he would ojn his aliumt human eye and look nn at her silently, with happy content that watched her mv.n' , ... , , , It wa very pleasant there. The book miv oau own rrmiiu iot,t mii'I'iium unM the grass and lay with crumpled leaves. A rehnd marked the place. j Wilnia Pierce, whoso wuuuier were H'tit at her grandmother' quaint old country home, had come here a few day luce, tired out iu body and brain a only young, hard working teacher can be, Alrcatly the soothing quiet of the love ly place had done her good, and the brightness of complexion and the lithe ties of fonr., which had been iinwlrl by the year's hard work, were returning j to her, A ilvery haired. wet faiid old lady came out of the wide hall door with light wrap In her hand. She approached the hammock with anxious solicitude In her kind, old face, 'Child, it is cud for thee herei thee must be more prudent with thyself." Hhe wrmd the soft, gray sliawl about the girl shoulder with loving, motherly nanus, uma ioreti up ami miled protcstiugly. "It isn l cuiiiy. grwminamma, iiear- but i submit. th took the wriukled old baud lu her and held II gently against her warm cheek. The old Qnakerea bent hr stately form and left a soft, swift klxa upon the girl's furvheail. "1 must go In, dear h-art; thee hail best fall asleep for a little if thee can." The aoft, gray gown wopt away acrona the grass, and th wearer stopped beside the door to pull sweet, white roee that stretched temptingly toward her. She went iu, and the girl and her dumb companion were again alone. , By and by she fell aabwp. The rosea j at her bare, white throat rose and fell ! with gentle regularity as her breath came and went It waa ft pretty picture. Ronald Mitchell, coming quietly acrtsw the garden, thought eo a he caught iltht of It and paused involuntarily. the dog raised hi great, shaggy head and looked a silent welcome (rum hi ; brown eyt. They were old frieuda Kouald, th young farmer, and Rebecca, Northflcld s dog Ikm. The young man stood breathless a tm ' went looking at the shier, then with ft softer light in hi blue eye and ft warmer tingo on hi mooth shaven cheek ho went on tuward the how, lie entered with the familiarity of a well known and welcome friend, and sat down easily In a big, antiquatnl rocking chair. Kebeecn Northfleld canto Into the room, her old face alight with welcome. She came and laid her small hand on his shoulder. "Ronald," she said, "my grandchild, Wllma Pierce, is come. Perhaps it is not new to thee? She i a good child. Wllma U, out I rear sn love th world too well. There is little of the (junker alsmt her, Ronald." He smiled. "I saw her when I rm throngh the garden just now. She is nulike you in her dress, but her face has lik-eneas w your. They sat together in the quiei room j juik0 AikI yon say the prisoiier cam and talked a little while, All at once a i , fttlll luwm,i,tlli yu with malice afore shadow fell across the bare, white floor, tj,U(,,t; nd they both looked up. Wilma stood ; witness-No, ml; ho didn't use no in the wide doorway, her fare ft little implormeutaadat. Ho jes' hit m nusneu Wiin Sleep, ncr eyes uew7 uo a child's after a rwfivshiutt slumber. Hho. held ft yellow rm in her hand. "Grandmamma," she said, all uncon scious of Granger's presence, a she I looked half sleepily at the flowers "grand-, I mamma, what ft lovely rose! Just how" i "Wilma," th calm, sweet voice Inter rupted her, "come here. This is Ronald Mitchell, th son of my old friend and achoolmate, Eunice Band." Wllma advanced a little and held out her hand frankly, but when sho met the intense gaze of the clear blue eye above her a shy look came into her own and she withdrew her hand, Ronald, watching her, wondered If her grandmother's remark about her had implied that she waa ft bit of a coquette. tihe leaned over the old lady' high Wked chair and fastened the rich rose in the silvery white waves of faor beauti ful huir. And then she went away, with ft murmured word of excuse, leaving lo lilud her a scent of roses and a remeiu lirance of a fair, fresh young face fining flowerlike above her pale blue gown. That was their first mooting. All sum mer the young farmer came and went at hi own will and helped to make the old Dlaca pleasant, ' They sang together ia Uio garden. There was no musical intruiueui! io the primitive Quaker household, but wilmu had brought hor guitar with her. 'tftey read together in the old summer Bouse through long, lovely afternoon, while grandmamma, sat near with her bomoly knitting work. They walked together in the great old fashioned garden ami along the mur muring creeks, and sat idly on the little rustto bridgn, watching the rhytlunlo flow of the waturs gild the minnow darting in thocool, dark depths below. It was an idyllic miraroor. flotj, wore happy. One knew why tt vrnm ,tfyft;h,f only half guessed it. Ronald Mitchell at ftO years hod for ;the first time felt his inmost heart .stirred and thrilled by a woman's pres ence, lla Jored her with all the mi wasted strength pf his perfect manhood, with all the tendern,ws of a true man's first love. One evening he told hur. Tht twc.re sitting together on a mossy Jog beside t ,preek. Wilma hod thrown off her wide gar den hat, and the late rose in her dark hair gleamed whitely like a soft etar in the dusk. What caprice seized the girl? ; She listened to his eager words with averted face turned toward jtha dying sunset light. When he had finished she did not an swer. "He tak'is too much for granted," she uoniMI "ttj n too mosterraii he ask. a ihongh inv heart was son Jhcht ivr .i ....... .... . to wnicii he huu a right. I will tenan him It Is not." , She rose and turned to go. He caught her hands and dtiUtiued hi-r. "Wllina, are you not going to say ft word? Are yon then the CMpiette I al mrt thought yon that flint day?" His word stung her. She tried to free herself, ami tlm nwe fell from hvr liulr, lie pli'kvd It up. "if yon won't say anything, Wtluia. give tue this row, Lvt it l symliul uf bopetome." Him snatched It from his hand. "Wlien 1 am ready to auswer you," she said "i wtu seno. tt to yon," and then she llpie.l away and hurried toward i,i,, A.i,....r k.,.i .i Wll1! lltMOl luirt of IllltlirM V.tu, , .helUlte.! Mwavsh to.iclil the mnm j)UU) flimw wl,u thlk, trotsibtssd. ,.j , OVe ,m- ,i love him," she miiUlt gl,nj nmg ,lc,1(iinv- ,w0 ,hr,,n(t, Knhlt)i But the girl s willful h.wt was slow ! iti rMAk A week tuuued, mM jillchell caiiio not once to the fttnnmnM,, It,,! Northlleld woii- dml at ,,u ullW) mt)j ,lHlkw, mn,h. iily at the ipilet f-e. girl. One even- Mg she canm luto the quaint old Mini, with Its sloping wi.f and laltlw window, w,w Willim Mt n,mim i ,,u,w,t (, ,,, lHl( wmfti R,wld la going away to-morrow, lie Is ttrenl. 1 vutl when I mot him today, and nee.ls chaiig Ued.-I.H.kwoni. j wo(ll,r w,v he keeiw away from ns." Ww ik,,a kcnly. thn.UKh her gold r,miM Kiwt,t the girl. "I don't know, grandmamma, I'm .- u.t k,,1,i Will he stay away long, do ywu think?" "A mouth, he said," she aimwered, The girl drew a quirk breath. "A ItlikMtll M wllrt tii,IOlit ! it (, .nil. I m,( ( WK, - ,,, ,K., nt.uiy. After a while .,a tm.k a link, box from ie u,.r,,.i. and went dowu stairs and out into the garden, .She called to Don and wandered down to the uiisssy log bildo tlia creek, hhe had Iwen hero every day since that time a week ao. 8h sat down on the log, nnd Don sat down bestdn her, looking gravely at the running stream. She drew a little folded note from the Ikx In her hand and opened it. "Come to me," It said, and then luiMI cate tracery hernitmu, "Wllma." That was all. The girl's eyesnlinue half mlnchievous- I ly as she fastened the tiny Ux to Dou' silver collar with a bit of nbUm, and a WkM t,llir ,jiiW,hI ll( n,,r 1 m,n m,Un1 i,,,r ,,lmj , tf jlut,r ...j Mti ,rlm,jr t0 tt.. dog's great, noble eye. "Oood old Ihm," Ao said, "take It to Ronald to Honahl do you nndcr sUndr He !ookl up intelligently Into le-r f.u-e and trotted off sedately. Ronald Mitchell was in his room alone. One by one such articles as were ooceauiry were being paekvd into his traveling hag. A sudden p.ttter on the stair arrested his attention, and the next moment a familiar black bead wa throat through the half opeued doorway, "Why, Urn, old fellow! Coma to say goud by? What's this?" He unfastened the tittle box and open ed it. When he had unfolded the slip of piINt and found the withered white rose he sprang to bis feet. Then, to lion's amazement, he bouud-d down the stair and out into the summer twilight, the grave dog following at his heels. He found her on the mwy log beside the creek, looking exjiectantly toward bint with the shy, sweet glow of love lu br dark eyes and on her face, Only IVn was the witness of that mooting, but when a little later the happy lover wandered up Ilia sweetly aii'tileil garden, cool atnl shadowy in the gloaming, nnd gramliuamiiH came to meet them with a glad nrprin and light of calm coiitoutttient liihersMivue f.ae, all thoughts of the projected visit were hanliOiml, and the Imlf paok'd1 traveling hag lay forgotten on the ftnor at home. Harriet Franceue Crm'ter in New York Ledger. u,jilrlma Conduct, PtrunThe conductor on car No. 9i9 ii tha moat simwnhlo street ear mil' jnctr iVcraw. He U very polite. Strwt Car Superintendent (alarmwl) Polite is he? My grnciousl He timst tie knocking down ten dollar a day. New York Weekly. in. Vr. er club. sah.-Weet Shore. DlMouragluf. "I don't feel vewy much encourwagml about existence and that tolit of thing," said Willie Wellington. "What' the matter now?" asked hi sympathizing friend. "Why, I went to a bahlier yesterday and said, 'I want you to shave me.' " "And what did he say?" "He said 'certainly; dwop in any tlm you happen to need It' "-Washington Post. Cxttlng Dow to Niilld Comfort, Ok A 2 T-S r Mr i. Count Porosetti Waiter, I seem to be the only one In the dining room, ' The Walter Yo's raiglit, boss, D' rest pbd' folk has ent Count Parasotti That being the case, I think that for once I'll enjoy my aoup. -Judge. , A Sure Cure. . MIbs Plyrte 9h. dear, Molly, I'm so blue. The whole .world is- mwide down with me today. 1 r Miss Pert-rThen why don't yon stan4 on your liciul, my dear? Bomorvllle Journal. ' It Keemed Doubtful, "Do yon think my boy will make an artiHt?" asked Mr. Mc Watty of the draw ing teacher. ft iv.tl uuu AaVV UWnu V V vis lsj til fiitit nnr f 1 is A tian 'i uwan a ,We cociaion.--y,o wine's ' fftypi f r f ?! V 1 I 11 tmil bk. I I II lo Ul- LAST DAYS OF TH? M00 J5HINJI. tTiiel Sam llaa Nrsrla Kal'-rmlnitteil Hiiniitsl lltll. r. His The rm ky fnilHiisses of Tiunessee'i niounlnlns Mere mice fiilonn for I In miuiiishlulug of llielr llihshlunts. The bimliiens whs Rot of gulu by n!i i lu txipiiloiis seel Ions. The inmmiiiliienr loveil the llery llipihl. lis fravrniit, enticing odor dn llulitvd hlii MMises, ami Its soft and oily flow tickled tils puliite, llu had few of the luxuries of Hits life, anil hi chief engagement and pleasure was WV " ion nectarine ui n s ' irralu ami fruit. Mntiev wn litt!o known to mm. The price or m-iuk whs n fabulous turn and far beyond his reach. Ill fathers mada their own store of liquor, nnd ha cam naturally by what ha deemed his right. In ternal revenue law forlinde his hum ble still ami he was driven to covert re treat there lu the solltmlu to surrepil tlotialy curry on tlis coiivei'ulou of his gralii Into iiiouiiialn dew. Two, thre or more would be Joint owners of the still, While some tired thn furnace ami tended the erode p pllauee, others would gun id the s ce ll ilea of approach, and lurking behind tree or roek keen a sharp wnleli for the prying maidial. Toe moonshiner had no reluctance In the killing of a revenue ofllcer. He was an Invader of rights, an enemy of homes - a spy, Mmiy u poor revenue olllcer fell a'vlellui to Ihe rltle-shot ol a moonshiner. Now all Is changed. The advance of the proauoetor, lliv miner, the boomer, has overruii ovcry mountalu and pene trated every valley. Town hsve smung nn nmgleslly lu the ilepih of the woodland and latfore the march ol progress, the mine, the furnace, the saw-mill, the moonshiner has deserted hi last retreat, and the buslneas hna fallen into the ham! of a different elti'i of miopia, (iulu alone is the oh Ject. They hamler la the vicious ele ment of society, and-offer mi armed resistance to the revenue officials they buy them. Tha old inoonhliier ha pael awsy; lie has sure. untied in tue luevliahle sml lives only lu liclioii, I'nsMi'oeaarul Puraull of a Train, The train for Cleveland whs pulling out and had gnlneil eo-iahleralde In head- wa). sayallie Imlliinnpolis AVuw, wlieii tlie'it came a whls ami the sound of splitting wind as a man with a tall silk lott eroalied down on his euia dashed Ihriouh the gules. Ho carried two iiiginliae. hot Ihey wero apmnnilly aa l!f IU a feiillieix' for hey ill. I not in, hi In e wIlli liia mad riiah nfler that train. He fairly Hew ulong tn plat form, and Hie lu.ikeiimtl on the i.d' wa an hii'V liHiklng nl a i:M hi Ihe window ol 'the N.iiioniil hotel tint he did not see him. The erowd Jelled and whiHuaol: ' ie there, old lunn!" Pull for li hur I!" "You il make It li you don't full deiid!" and a hundred tich Ngrriiailiig ifui.ii k, t. The iiihu iiiado an heioie ellort, loo he didn't lime the le sml ihe lu ikeiiiiio didn't ' him. Uhi lie mlVi the I in In. He ptiino slowly hsek lo the pale, put dowu liia gilpa, mopped hi face, ami ruo'iirked: Welt, I'll Is blowed!" Il didn't any hloHed, hill let it go Nt that. Iltd a liiely run,"' sngeatel a meek ami lowly eiileiimti, - Uiiher. Ju-t mi Im k. Ihouli. tu mia Unit trulii. Wi). I uoiildu I have nl.e. doit n mil for .'." "Where weiij voii going?" ouee more 1ke. Hie gentleiiiail with Ihe ginger coloreil w linker. ' i.alnvelle. And I imve an i it p-t't- H III eiiai-ilielil IlietV lo-lo'llt "Well oil CHll keep it." II.".?'' - The I ruin von wore olmalujf gi-i In l leielnlld. Jhe Iifaielte Irani don't lart for eljfhi nmmiTea. Titer it ilamls." The ilriiitinier didn't n a word, lie ilheiinl his grip mid rliniU'd alaeiiil ;lm car, w hile Hie lululeai hit of a smile hovered iihom (lie meek ami lowly ateiuitu's ehoK A Clunky 1'ioeeedlng kiliig s pretty girl, fCEOINC ABIC SNAKE An AvpalUlnf Vlaal f Hal.hlta Dial s ll t',tnalrlrlr IMI(h In. Three corpulent rabbits of Belgian M-eeit were cageil In a "p-lmXiiuelly awnltlng their fate. -They were the meal for which the smtko waa annum- ly awaiting, snvsa writer In thn Chicago Jiilrr-Oiam, Ho had not taatml metit In four month and his voracious mnw yawneil like a itolloiiileas pit for Ihe iiufoiiuiuile trio iu the sc'ip-hox. Manager Hell nmieared and drew forth one of ihe wMiii. After strok ing "bunny" on Ihe hack fur a mo ment he opened the door lo the snake's ilen ami thrust him In. The huge hoa had coiled himself up in ft corner, hut tit once ruined himself for ncllon. He was fully twelve feet long, and having recent v shed hi Winter coat his skin llatened and shone like sal In. He ruined his lieiol a foot or so from the floor and viewed (he llrst course of his qiiailri-aununl meiil. The rahhlt showed no signs of four, but rather seemed to enjoy his new ounrters. The snake slowly lowered his head ami ciuitioiiily began lo stretch himself along tlio slile of Ilia den. He never once took; his eyes off tlm rahhlt. which was still unconscious of hi danger. Suddenly Ihe ruhlill lie'nn to net stniiiguly mid to out all son of rid inl ine capers. He would leap buck and forth over the smike and then rub up against it, and appeared tn lie fancl naled, hlmvlv ami stealthily the snako ttirnml hi head about until It was within a font of the rabbit's hiiuiH'hes, Tlieii, iiiiluk as a 1ah, he darted forward, su'.ed tho rabbit lu his mouth sml lu mint hut' Instant there was nothing to bo aeon of the Utile animal snvu the tips of hi ear, which protruded from Net ween the folds of the snake. Tho liitgn serpent then raised III head full two feet from the floor, darted out his forked tongue ami hissed horribly nt tho motley group wnlcliitig him. If I hern ivus on v struggle on the part, of the rabbit It was not visible, Tho snuko had him lu his awful coils. Then tlm colls bIowIv, hut with slreugil) which was terrible In look at. Iicjriin tn tighten Itlll every hone In the poor rabbit's body ))uwt luivfl been broken. This done the polls ruhiM'd, iiiid tlm limp, lifeless lnly of tlo spoi'ilyp ynbblt of a few nioinetiU hcfii'ii hy I'eiply to bo 1 swal lowed, 1'irst Hut snri'1'.'ll nosed his viollin nil ovnc, Tim iiyolmlls of tlm dead hi libit were pro! Hiding from their socio I, and by wuv of Iwglunlug the boa licked I hem with his tottguo, Ouco ninl'u he colled ulioiit his victim, leaving Its hciid and shoulilui-s true, Then he opened his inoustrous Jaws and, taking bitnnyV' head therein, begun to swallow, boon the head and E'lpuhlura were out of sight, and In ss 'Hum lificim inlniUes tho hind legs miymi:'' - A WoinairWho KIII'fiP-. Tlifcr hiniiliiff In Iiulin 'has brtinght to the front-a wmw tli.'i'i'-kllh'r of prciit skill In the person of Mis, Kvmi fltuilon, Tlw fcurluss duly, as n imm hui of ripont IhiiiiIii xiuitltiun, shot hii ii)fry Wgr thnt was rushlnif i'IcIiiiihIv iinnn the mirtv. una wns Actually wlllilii few yard of hr le- phmit's trunk, Ucr shot whs as well- timed ti It was wull-iilnifld, for the other jtiins oii)tiiil, InuliidiiiK thst of the laily Hii)i'iHiniiii's husband, Mnj. furou h rule "um Evans fjurdoii, had fulluU to stop ;ne A MOMENT OfTtBBOrt. . A reatisjrlvasilsj Vnmft glads a al In UIs Trees W' ! lr, (iuiiipsel and J. K. Snyder, both of (Vnlrevllle. had an experience w eenl I V that llier will uever forget. Tin-,' camped at the lower dam at liwlit lluu near ledge ol rock on the night In iiwtloii. ami befoi daikues cuine upon them they erKd lot of leave logelber for a Ml and provided a pile of wood to keep lip a llm during th night About IU o'clock they pre pared for sleep and drawing a blanket over them, lay down to pleasant dreiiuis. . Along toward 1 o'clock Mr. Snyder hill i'M lie ami mit II tl In put WMIIB inure wood on the lire, ami then lay ill tin and kkis fell Into a deep leet, from which he wa awakened by a cold object which seemed lo be resting on his leg. Without moving he lay awake, uniting for ili'Velopiueiil. The next moment lie felt an mdu seribable soiisiilloil come over him which seem to paralyse every nerve In his body. Reall ng that there was something eniraorilinay the mailer, he called iu H.e doctor to hurry and gel up, sa solum lung was crawling up the right leg of bis panlaloous. ami ho be lieved li was a smike. The words went llit'o.itili ilia iloclor likii an eleo IrmshiM'k, ami. raking a braud out of Ihe lire ho npproai'lied Mr, Hnviler. who tin lying m II parnliS Ml. with the cold aiM'ili a;iiiiug III big lieiol nil his lore ,t iol. Hud bilmled bv ihe llli kel lng II line of Ihe brand, he Holloed what ill III t looked like broad liliick airiip hanging out of Mr. tin) dor's troiiaei' leg. but i he uet mo ment exeiaiu'od: ".My (iml, Muckm, lie sllll, It's ft liillleauaker' Trembling like, a leaf, Mr. rinulel eeined pow writ) lo iiiovii even If he would. Tho condition of ihin wa I one evident. The reiiilo had atll'iii'lod to I It lire, sml ami wai'iiilli mi the eiiiii of Ml. Huvdi'l'. Kvery mouieiii aliu disiippeareil further lip Ilia kg. and irompl action was Uecesaary. tiraaping III snake hv the tail III doctor pulled with alf his might. Ill hold liitcd, and ti rut lies, fourteen in nniniier, caniu olf sml roiii.iiuod lu hla hand. The reili " ui) umpped llM'll aii'ilii'l Ihe bare kii i Ihe mini's leg. and iloleull) ahieo, n. derstlled tall. in. Heating Us siimor al such hsrali treatment. This M-rioroi-biicm aniiost threw Mr. tvi)d. r luio convulsions. - Recovering ilinelf. th doctor lw Ihoiight hiiowlf of his knife, and, quickly opening a blade keeu as a rsitor, he cut the pantaloons up lu Hm body. This relented the snake, and sho quickly unwound and threw her self into a coil, ready for elfecliv work, but. belirte she ciciid strike, ihe doctor struck her a '.h ulih a ciuh that rut her clean In two, Mr. Snyder was tilled by tho arm mid dragged away from the hideous serpent, and Ibe neU moment os on his feet scarcely a bin lo sluud. They' drunk Ihe huUuoo of 1'ieir nerve ionic" out of a pint boiile. which lo some extent realoruii their eiullilriiiio. but shx'pwaaout of the question aoil they SHMit Ihe bulrttiee of I lie nielli in stiiehliig up Mr. hnvder's trouaorsio make him pivseutable, and at early dawn they pulled up stake sud lin k solemn oiith lu never, no, never, bunk at Swift Run iilu. Mitiii'tlmryh Wf. ' l'lioiioicrnihy In (ireal llrllaln. riiiiiiojjisiphi la f,it hi'coming one of Ihe almol nil bnnicliea id eilucallou in liii iil Hi iiiilu. 1 rum ivturit uiadu, IhoiiLih liicoliiplcle, il ajipeitr Hint In the lirt quarter of Ihl tear the teach er of pinoo-:iihy luld under iu strui'lioii iu Ihe wluue of (irent Biiiain a 1. 7 '!) mate nnd ii.o.'S feooiie. mak ing a lolul of ,17.7ti7, whilo Hu' uiimla'r under liiatructlon during the whole ol bi-l your wm 41.7.10. A I urge pmiloii of Ihe pupils were iu what nui termed "laiunl M'liools." We KalaToo Much. There is someihlng new nmler the sun a new wy tovytke youth and health and leautr h fnol n:il. )ol new method of phylc:il culiiice. not new ilielary scheme, nor yet a uow ai- lilication of tlint subile principle liv which the mind rules the body. None of these, but a mensure so novel, so original and withal so econonilo that It Hilda favor with manv who would none of nil the other fads. A new IlviiHtla has arisen In the per son of a New York lady iihvslciait, and the di ctrlue of physical !ni mortal it v which she tenches "is lo fast This modern philosopher Is a well known woman physician, who Is fifty Tears ol age and looks twenty-live. Her form Is as supple, her eyes as bright and her skin as clear' a healthy school gins. "How did It coini! about?"' she said tn a writer lu the Now York lltntid. "Whv, in the most natural wav. The human svslem is not a machine It is a live thing, and so gets tired and ueeils rest. 1 discovered this many year ago, and began resting mine systematically. .When I And the physical machinery becoming clogged nnd heavv I abatain entirely from food. .Several timoa I have fasted for twenty days, and every month I take a throe uara'fnat" But la it not very exhausting?" I aneii. . No." replied thn doctor. "Ou the contrary. It Is very exhilarating! Of course it is necessary that Hie sitinaeh should liuvu a touic, and 1 have pro pared one," showing a bottle contain ing a dark brown fluid, "What is It?" I asked. "1 call it a nutrient," said the doe- tor, evasively. The tastu and smell of mo preparation imiicated that It was mostly of cocoa and wine. The doctor claims that a teaspoon ful of this mixture, taken at the regular meal iimo, wiii not only do a vav with all desire for food, but will prevent any bad result from tha long fast. "I drink large quantities of hot water every any," she said, "because I bu' lune tho insula of the body needs washing a, much its the outside." Every yenr the doctor tnkos a trip to En in in, nnd she sins Hint never sinco sho begun pulling tier put theory into pntctico has she exinu'iumiHil a unalm of snaslckucss. And sliu believes that tho sumo umiuiulpatioii wilt bo tho re ward oi every one who follows hot example. One Swindle jBxplalnml. A drummer wao travels for a Button Srocfiry poiionni siiys thnt he sens in liiiiM sotpa pf Hip slinrpiwt nicks thnt ; are practiced Hnywlw m hi route. He gnvo tho following spooimen to a I Uewlston Journal reioi'tori j A farmer's wifo bustled Into store In Washington County tho other day ; ft ml wont for the proprietor witlu I "Mr. B , I bought six iioumls of : sugar here last week and when 1 got ' homo I found ft stouo welching two pounos iu inu puciiiige." "Yos, ma'am." "Can you explain the swindle, airP" "I think I cun," was the proprietor's plaoid reply, "When I weighed your eight' pouuds of butter wook before last I fouild h two pouml nubblo In the jar, kud wheh I Weighed "your sugar he atone must have slipped1 into the scales somehow, We are both growing pld, ma'am, and I am sorrv to sav that pur eyesight Isn't to be trusted, What pap I Uq for you to-qay, nm'atnP" J or a moment tha woman g;un nt (he tradesmsa over her bms-bomid ipeotaoles, Then she rooolleouid her- self and remarked that she hud n aoaen eggs wtitoh she wished to 6K- chauge for hooks and eyes, !.SfjS ''' ' : I 'MmmlttU -Iks.I bVlblln. M'Mi.ll, State Ilormal School fj MONMOUTH, OREGON. nut rftCMiry. NCWBUIIOINCI. UCHTEXf CN8C8. Bv on Act of tbo Uglalitttin., Ilnl,liHl.inglhe Slaff Komial Rrbool, ThmoyiHuJg Uiploiiuta from Ibe School are Entitled lo Ttb iu Mj County in Hie Htaba without Examination.. 10 U t ,'riu i.f ten wh lliitiliiHe farm, U r t-Tiu ft o regular Hlu.lwt iu llio Noniul. lurtrofliioiw ti Vik.i1 " iW' ami IVnum.id.lp I'mMo r,ular aiuduulM. I.Hmm.-..t l Mumc od I'aintiiiK ut llu- lowest raU- t BOARD: Board at tl.e Dining JIall 1.50 jmt wk, IUmim Ji centa lo f 1 jr wfk. Oooil board and loilging in rivut famllit, W to 4V1..V) ht week. .-..,.''.:'...-.- For 'uriher ptrUculars, M.nJ for Catuliue. Adilnsa, SECBUI'AUy of FACULTY', Moomoutb, Or. 1E3IjI aJOHlTSOlT, " " Livery, Feed and Sale Stables. . FIUST-CLASS TURNOUTS. Stock Left In our Cftre SPECIAL ACCOMMODATIONS MAIS STREET, INDEP-ISPESCE, OREGON. THE NEW ,: Livery, Feed and Sale Stables. YOUNG HOUSES, DOUBLE and SINGLE TEAMS. r Vi t: Flnrt-Class Turnouts (or Commercial Traveler. Prices reasonabl and Satisfac tion guaranteed. Uive us ft Call. KORTII EXP MAIS STREET, J. S. JONES, PflorB. INDEPENDENCE FENCE WORKS. F. M. GATES, Proprietor. Mr. P. M. (intra hue mm of the lutcxt imprivetl Fencing Machine with which he Is prct-atvil, nn short notice, to nianafuctur) a First-CIss picket and wire fence. This Is the best fence to bo obtained For Farms, Residence Property, Chicken Yards and Diviton Fences. FACrORYs On, C Scree!, Opp. the Cily Hotel t Independence, Or. W. T. SHERMAN, MERCHANT 1 Suits Made to Order, ami Tit Guaiantced. ---s-VrN.'w Custom Goods for Merchant ftiul olh 'i-s ccounts with Alclmnt at lud.Mndca e mi I inmth t-r Hecuttin- SVjSftaftftftSfaSfsSlaBaSSaaSaa? Special HOME TREATMENT A Specific PR HIUER'S HYORASTINE RESTORATIVr. ' fiV, Uu.Up.Uoa j u.n.ral P.W. A paHlckuS stnofO. baUJw. PR. HILUR'S WTI. RILIQU5 STOMACH ANfl UVFI. Cmpc Cumm M" "J Uv" vm Ifsvtr. .Uarial F.v,, a sU'ptaW eomllUw. Oiwmuoltoom, it.. .t cssw wb.s dlwoUoas sr. tuHowl. ..y mmiZ DR. HILIER'S COUBW KIIBF. 'ra .fu'ij.' - , ;, , rwyrt Cos.un.pUo,. CooUisssoOpIU CCrDlWJlU ; PR, HILUR'8 DIPHTSERIA AND SORE THBllftV rim, DW. HILUR'8 FEVER PURF. toaln-hl, k k dtaAi, ,HrotW wllh hM, ' -ikUft, Z ZZttZ DR. Mil I m o ucoumto nrn ..... V .. " i -T L'.iLiL.V"?''-- Oatm N.rvtwi Wskkms. and Ltaa foww. Mover fuU. Sssd lor Prltst, Ciroulu PR. HILLER'S RHEUMATIC A NO nounuiia, uout. Lumbago, and NnLitln. DR. HILLER'S TEETHINH CURE. - ' , UJ AUIs durlp, lh. ithl, parUnwreawilniS. PR. HILLER'S WHOOPfNa mm Cvm ' snd, II M obulssU. ta ,ou, Uru"? . $t.00 per package. Si) packages for 15.00. ' snd SE&2 LT HlrTi.'i-' a UsUUun,,'; HILLER DRUG COm?mKlV' 5. A. tct w-iis ;Wv:!ith:tit-:i:': v'- REASONABLE RATES. will be well attended to. . FOR COMMERCIAL utn. vtTir tivmnrisei S : GOOD jRIDINQ HORSES. Ke nt nn 1 IW. t Ml DR, HILLER'S Prescriptions. SELF CURE Remedy for Each Disease. to HUIm Drui Co.. Bu iwi NEURALGIC CURE: OunsBbMMstlsi, .nu.miatay til. BltiOU ..i-,- - .. 'nr."1 f sows woioh on tbssj. lb (imrtti nd a.vlopiit of chlldno t0,ln,. J" nsssMH, 7"