THE INDEPENDENCE
$200,000.
In Intprwvvnient will bemad
lu Inl-MutUiic ami vlchiliiliy
during the year.
In ttpiiat Ptp
Devoted to the bet Interest! of
Polk County.
VOL. VII.
$2.00 Tcr Year.
INDEPENDENCE, POLK COUNTY, OREGON, EH I DAY, AUGUST 29, 1090.
Five Cents Per Copy.
NO. 42.
THE WEST SID&
ft. & rUTUM,
rviusm
raja. M MM tM KMI.r.
UB3CNIPTION RATKS.
FAVAtLK IN AOVANC.
M Month . . .
Tata Month . .
Wnn lot paid In lvmr
I ts
,JJ
TO ADVERTISER8.
W, 4 ! ast II u at Ik On ai
ittlfurula KMlnl waiMH a fnuUMMti
MlU an lhitli toputttaat I U. WJtltav
SIM -i
MUatt ilka uuk I f IK Hi t lk. WiII.mm
THitowll itrlt elMmiaitna l Wm
l la ii..tn uatli It la be im n iw bast
JOB PRINTING 1
IS tm
Latest and Best Styles,
HB it TNI
LU WiuSr LIVING i RATES.
M-- - - l. --JL1UII
PHYSICIANS-DENTISTRY.
LEE & BUTLER,
Physicians & Surgeons.
;AUMJ
U. S. Examining Surgeons.
Off'- -t .Ida al Mala M.,
i.vsrt-uK.cK, or. toon
E. 1. KBTCHUM,
Physician and Surgeon.
0nm1i First fialUuul Bask.
UtpBrtMOINCt. MOO.
DR. J. K. LOCKE,
Physician and Surgeon.
Bucn Vista, Oregon.
J. S. DAVIDSON, M. D.
Physician and Surgeon,
u. t, muRixo suioioi,
Independence, OrtfM.
DR. J. B. JOHNSON,
Resident Dentist,
All work warranted to ft the bt
of SatiifacUoa.
MOWVMPKJtCJI,
OlION.
ATTORNEYS.
JOHN J. DALY,
Attorney and Counselor at Law
COU.KCT10H MADS.
OfflM: Mill St.. Of po.ll Court Boat,
DALLAS, fOLK COUNTY, OktOOI.
A. M. HURLEY,
Attorney and Counselor at Law.
OSm: Car. Mai a4 Monmouth lit,
WDIrtHDIKCI, BIOOK
W. L. WILKIN,
Atlonw) and Counljr at lw.
All Boalnanlrutd tome will rwalw
Prompt Attention.
COLLECTIONS A SPECIALTY.
Office In Opr Houne. lndfpndnc, Or,
E. E. Krengel,
-ANI
Manufacturer of the
BOSS CULTIVATOR
-:And:-
Krengel's Iron Fence.
HORSE SHOEING.
Mr. Thorn u Fennel, late of Chi
cago, as experienced horM
shoer, make a tpedalty
of that line.
Circular and Crosscut
Saw Gumming
DON B T
E. E. KRENGEL
Wagon Repairing
ELGIN & HOLM
.. fM.iirnnfM Mtmnanv a build
ing. Hiili m, ori aon. tire pwpared d all ,
kind" "fwiiK'in repair, M.-intll1- hnrMwIi.
Initand i,iMrkmllhin((. Truck nnd. lrs '
jppe!luUy. lM I
pirjtflatiopalBai)H
UBirViBUKI, HKNU.
President J. t. COOPS.
Caehlar W. H. HAWL1Y.
DinatOTORtM
jr. r a. oiwv
9 H BTMitasJh(i
iai fklM . W
4 ftU WMfl M ll.MHI ttatw
aetata el taSSWtM ttFBS.
r-0M m:l.tt4r.)L
I n until If TtU
THE INDEPENDENCE
National:, Bank I
CAPITAL STOCK, $50,000.
H. HIMONURa.
ASMAM MtLSOM. VM Pi
W. P. CONNAWAY. CMMl,
aaaNOakjaaani
WteSX
DIRSCTCHrSt
JMktta MaDanlet. H,M.Jumi,
A. S. QaatnaR, n. Hi
ASeM H Otooav. Ta aV
I. A. Ailau
(EtUblUhed by Natlosal tuthortty.)
THE
aprnii :
Or SALEM, OREOON.
CAPITAL, PAID UP, $5o.ooo.oo,
SURPLUS. ! B.OOO.
a. a wallaci. w. w. mabtoi,
PtaaldMt. naamillwA
I. t. AL1IBT, Caaktar,
LOANS MADE.
Ta hum aa wbaa aa4 atk aiawbaataala
anidaa wateiaaa4 at la atara,altkat la artraat
fraawa ar aMI wwatJvaaaa.
I. !
If
lliwrvftl or hi-
Polk Count) BanK,
Monmouth, Or.
THE s-
Willafflette Real Estate Co.,
Of Independeiw, Oregon.
TruMct general I eat SaUU Bualne
bar ad telU Property, affecU
Intaraact aad doe feaeral
CotiYcyaac Buaineu,
Partlet havlag Land for ale will And
It to their advaatag e to
LIST THEIR PROPERTY!
With thl Company, t they art dally
ending tUt ofland cut, thu plo
lag deairahl property before the rtl
denU of the Eat
JAMBS GIBSOK,
J. W. KIRKLAND, Preldn,
Secretary.
G. W. SHINN,
Houu, Blgn & Drnimintil
Paper Hanging, Graining, Frescoing,
Etc. Pint room oppoite JohnonT
SUble, Independence, Oregon.
F. J. MORRIS, Prop.
Fine Wines, Liquors
AND CIGARS.
MIXED DRINKS A SPECIALTY.
I'Jr'caker Crick, Independent.
Mita Ada Judion. Mr. William.
JUDSON & WILLIAMS,
DRSSSJSHKERS.
UmJPINGPliPUiINQ
A SPBCIAIrTYf
t
CT PAUL, f i. t.t "
ASP , . ..
East, Noiii
ft ni'-tlwr (wril.tiliir, Imnil.if an; Mn
ul ilivOiiniMtiiy ur
T W. LEI,
CP, AT. A.
IViriUa I, Or.'o
TifMAiotl
I11.I1 . nan, Ur.
rtn for 1
Railroad Co.
T .1
iNortncin ran lie
RAILROAD CO.
Uowrved for the
BRICK YARD.:
J. R. COOPER,
Of Indepondenoe, hn ving a steam
engine a brick machine untl several
acres of flnest clay, Ih now prepared
to keep 011 band a fine quality of
Brick, which will bo sold at reoHon
able priottH.
A.B.aHiaas.
MEAT .MARKET,
I. P. Inrine, cutter. Choice
Uy oa hand. Dmriitm't Irkk.
UA IE.
Elkins & Co.,
raOWITOIS Off TBI
City Track and Transfer Co.
Hauling of all Kinds Done at
Reasonable Rates.
fTVltl Fd. OaK, p 0 Fir Uood
For Sal?.
MrCollectiom Made Uouthly.l
INDEPENDENCE, ER0G0N
dTY hlOTEb,
C Street Independence, Or,
A. W.-HOWELL, Prop.
PtrtclM la rnry retpect Special
attention given traoiient cMtoattr. A
ample room for commercial traveler.
Mitchell & Bohannon,
I. Manuracturer of
SASH & DOORS.
SCROLL SQWIHQ MD
HEPMRINQ.
Main 8trtet, ludrpeu.lrnc, Ortgon.
J. H. ALEXANDER,
:Dealer In;
Drugs and Medicines,
BKDNA VISTA, OR.
itaving rmrchaMil the tork of Drag
formerly ownril by U. W. Robertaon. I
am prepared lo meet all the old cu.le
tser. and many more new out, ail
sd coufteou UeaUuenl ta all.
BKAMER & CRAVEN,
f Manufacturer of -
And Pealer In
All hind ol Hameu & SadJIery Good.
Carriage Trimming and Repairing
Oregon State fain 1
Ihlrilrih Annual Kthlbitlun.
Vtiilfr il'i' iiiBiiimrmi'lil of llic llngt.n Hlalr
lt.nrtl.ir ArirMilliirv, will I" lii-ll n
tli. .lull' ralr nnxind. nrar Hnl.'ui,
.HiMiitiiMilii on
Monday, Sept. 15th
Ami lalln oni wiik,
D V E B. $15,000
CASH PREMIUMS
orreri'il fr Kurlmiliiiral, l k nmt mitctian
Iral ribll.lU, fur work, of art ami fenry work
ami for trial of .fl.
Iliilui-.! rnlM fir nirranil fri'ltflil on all
trmwp.irlmli'n llniwto anil rroin I he hilr. Im
x iff mil linprmTini'iH. Imvp hit n mail)' iiin
lhi (niunil. ami Iimwiwi-iI fmllllle. ar of
f.T.'.l rihllillnr..
The Pavillion Will be Open
Four Nlghta During the Week.
A iilrmllil lli'ldor liori vnli'mt In llir
m'imI ilii.arlmchl, ami Diiv rxhlliltlim. of ra
ring will be givim each inf,
Knlrlr for premium, will rl.wa Monday at
1Ai p. in, Kxlillillum an nrgi'd to innkv a
many of Ihrlr imlrl" on Nnttirdny befom thr
fair aa hmIIiI, (lood, aiilmnl. ami arllcli".
for FXhllilllou munt Iw In their pliu'i'. hy 10 p.
in. on Mondny.
I'ltlCKit OK AHMImHIONi
Mitn'.ilay tlrkot .IHr
Woiontr. day tlcki.t.
Mint'. M'iim llrkt-t .Hflti
Womiiil'. M'iouiii tli'Ui't. t .00
H.' nil to wrciury hi I'orlliiiid, On-Kuii, for a
priMiilinn llt,
1), II. MlDNKV, I'riMldi'tit
(IHWId, Kfcri'liiiy,
J. T
II. M. LINES,
Funeral Director
AND-
UNDERTAKER!
ll!Yr''
A full anduuiaplelo lino of Fn
noral goodri alwayu on hand.
Jackson's Restaurant I
Meiiln served for 25 cent eaeb.
It!e Cream 15 cents. Board 13.50
per week. Main St., Independence.
TEACHER'S EXAMINATION.
NOTIOK l liertihy given that pommrinclng
on Wedntwday, Aug.. 27, 1890, th
qmirtarly public eminlnntlon nfTcnidior'i for
Polk County will tin hold In thu nourt liou.e
at liiilliu. All Hpplli'unl.. nra expected to lie
prawn I at the opcnluir aimaliin.
V i W. I, IlKYNtlMW,
rvl(iulHupt.uri'olkCo,
HARNESS AND SADDLES.
I
flood IkMih Ptr nojra.
Rtijrt want tnrit that lifln at
finri", a I he N. Y. Kilning Hun, Oil
Hit itmiiiut llm iil'Mlliiilnary Intrti
ililrtlini hIi lili illKllnroa niiMt.lif
hi'iiil'i tun i'l la (ILu.lofnl n llifin.
"The Titll.miiti," for lu.laiice, U a
niitrvvlnu.lv gunil aiory fur a boy to
rt'Htl rr It nut for tha Isilltm ao
tttnint of tlm journey of llm hrro of the
tain ilinmjih the ilnwrta nf rllln.
"IviiiiIioh" la wrliap the only work
of hoot l which l entirely fm from
thl. tilijHoilott. From the tima llml
Ivaiilio miM'H (iurih. the wIiii-IiitiI,
and Wainlia, Ota Ji-.lrr. lo the rlom of
I he btiiik I hem I not a dull peg In It.
Itoliln IIihiiI, Utile John, Krlitr Turk,
unit Hlchitrd 1. aiijar In lha vritatl
U".h, littu Ilia Juw I rliiilmil In all
tha vliinna of hi race. Km'O the
IukUIi Athul.titi I. iiiiwlu kuoo to
U. a. he wan.
Thw nnl olhrr novfl of Scott wlileh
Hii.I intMiv.tliig I "Qtifiitlu inr
waril." The book Iwifla. with the nar
row aacape of the hero from lianulng,
nd Ih mlniflm! ehreardtie. ami u
lrlltlon n( Lotil XI. I lnlare(lug
ibruiiuhoiit (lie lnwik. .
The ImI of Marryat't novel ar
look, which uo boy oan affurd to og
lot. The fun In thnin ha Ilia eSxr
ven'riiceof vhmiaifne. Who fan tut
ret the ah.tmli tif Mr. Midhliman
Yy with die article of warf 'I'lwii
hi niarvvliiut triangular duttl and
petticoat Hag apMal lo every v wllb
a grain of humor in hi roniK'.ltlon.
"Japhvt In Hnart h of a r at her" I
another work of Mtrryat well worth
rKadlug. Tha huitinrou picture of
llm Quaker coulaiund in that book I
alwata Innlt. "Jacob Kalthlul" give
n goml plcltne of Ilia life of Ih Tlimt
waiormaii a cciihiry ago, and "New.
tun Ko'lcr" a rapiiat acvouul of life In
the nicri'liaut aurvlre.
K. M. itallanlyn ha written Kinie
xinlletit laioki for boy. The Iw.t ol
the m I "The Coral hland." A boy
ha no dillltulir in eenltig with life
owneyea t'uterkln. Jack. nd Ralph
paaaiug the loug aunuuor day on oue
of the fcouth 1'ai llla . laland. Kvory
now and then there la a mad rn.h to
bailie In Ih limpid water of the
lagoon. Tli eUl to the "('oral
Maud," called Ih "Corilla lUaiera,"
l not nearly o gixid.
In "Krling the Uold " by the tame
author, there If a gtod picture ol
A merle during lu coionltation by Ih
Korviuan a tlmuaand year ago. How
thev cam her ud dwlt her, and
finally went home again, I then fully
let down.
Two old faililoned book dcrr
mention on account of their popularity
In th put "The Scotll.a Chief'
give, the hiiiory of th heroic Wallace
without any terlou departure from
the truth. "Si. Clair of the UleV' I a
chariKlug dory of the career of
rWuiiiah outlaw durlug the early yean
of ibe Stuart dytiaaty.
tipeaklng of novel which bav a hi
tone tide to them brings up the name
of Hulwar Lyiloa. In Harold" la a
picture of the hut of th baion king
and of the ilUa.trou battle of Hi
Inga. No boy will hava hi notlnn of
hi.tory wrN)d by reading thl book,
la Ih lU Of the Uarvn," I.hi, a
boy will find much that bi lulem.tlug
aliont the lint and lt "king-maker"
that Kngland ever had.
Kvery on know "The Lt Day of
Pom pell," In which the destruction nf
Hcivulaneiim and Pompeii la graph
ically ilccrlbed. Hut "The Ukadi.
alora." by Maj. Whyte-Mulvllle. la a
much mora luterr.ting book, well II l
ted for boy' reading, lu fuel, the
work of W liyle-Molville ar too much
tiejjluolcd nowaday.
A White I'oicwk,
The Lontlon Zoological tocloly poa.
eaaea a while peacock. The bird prv
acrvc. th marking which diatin-
fftilHhod the ecie, partimlarly I he
arge eye-like ap U on I he mil feather.
The effect nf thnae aiiot I reinarka
ble. They are exactly like tha pattern
ou a diuntink table-cloth.
HOW WILD ANIMALS CHARCE.
aoaa of th Tarlne. Way. la VHilnh The1,
Altar tkalr Vletlnh
We are III the habit of teeing In Ixxiki
of travel and ki I very utiirtlliv lllu
trntlou of the attitudn wild ani
mal aaatime wheu charging their hu
imtn aKgreatnr--altltiidH which. In
the main and in oil eoavntlal point, are
nioni Incorrect. For InnUiiee, the
tiger ha the credit of annulling in hi.
victim' akull with a (ledge-hammer-like
blownf hla fore-paw. The elephant
I generally depleted coming down like
a locomotive with hi proboacii extend
ed to It full length; the bl.ou and buf
falo charging from a diatance ?f many
yard, with their hnad and horn low
ered; and our undue frlemla (lauding
up on their hind leg, alway expoaiug
the fatal while horieihoe on their
heart moat couvotiiunily. I ihould be
glad, therefore, to hear the opinion of
tome of our corre)ondciil, who have
hot the. large ftrat naturot and be
ing charged by them, regarding tnclr
attlludii wheu aaaumlng the otfenaire,
for my own extwrience I to totally at
variance with the preconceived notion
of artiau that I tliiuk the matter may
not be unworthy of public diauaaiou
through the medium of your column..
To begin with the fclitht, I am glad
to my that In the few Instance. In
which I have atood a charge my an
tagonist never got home; but a relative
of mine, who was very badly wound
ed by a tiger, nnd aereral frlunds, who
have not only beeu lu the mouth, ol
tiger, but of lloua. all toll me that the
atiimnl, to mui, purlmp. a homely form
of expression, "came rottat bung up
agnliiat thwrn." The description I
lie i' hup. inure expressive thau reilitvd
in language, but 1 think convey the
Idea of animal "hurtling" up against
vou. In seizing thulr prey, tlg' Ti, and
I believe llor though with the lattei
1 have had no experience, almoat In
variably go for the throat, though lu
one or two ln.tutiuv that huve couui
under my notion of nninmU klllud by
tiger they have evidently been firm
hamstrung! these, probably, were the
work of young and iuexperieuuod
tiger.. I once aw a man charged and
knocked over by a panther, and he
only mvtd hi throat by putting up hi
arm, which, aa wo.ll a hi ahotildur,
the animal, grasped with teeth and
claw. The relative to whom I alluded
wiu aelzod In a almilnr manner, and
three friend, of mine who have beeu
mauled by tiger, and one by a lion
all describe the animal knocking them
over by iher force of weight before
oiling them. I think, therefore, the
being knocked over by a paw stroke U
a fallacy.
Any one who know anything annul
elephant mint ba aware that their
trunk, and particularly the tip of the
trunk, 1 the moit dolloate and nenl.
live part of the animal, and that he
ihleld It from Injury by every possible
menu in hi power. It I therefore
very uulikely that he would expose ll
In the act of charging. My experi
ence, 11 mi tod though it be, point to
(hs (not that an elephant, onoe ha ha
inai up ni mum to rnarga, curio up
hi trunk tight. IMora charging, and
In order to get wind of hi adversary,
ha may Indeed extend It, but once tha
piewiice of a foe to be attnckml I. de
tected the probn.cla I put out of the
way of pn.sllil harm.
Jllaon I am thinking of Ilia Indian
animal. Hu 0iruj-ul butfulooa,
when they charge, Invariably poke
their uoae up lu the air and commune
by running at you with Ihelr head,
well up, much lu the manner of di
luetic, cattle, and only lower their
horii. whuii withlu a few Yard, of ob
ject of their atttnutloii., Thl I tak
to be a more matter of common eu
on the pact of the animal, for, if he
pul hl head down ay even forty
yard away, he could not poiiily ao
where he w going.
Hear, whull wuuudeil. will, Indeed,
often get up on their hlud leg and
dance alHiul from aheur rage, aud will
also al lime do an in order to get a
better View of Ilia wlmt'eiilioiiU. of
their enemy; but vihuii they vlmrgo,
whether ll le al a man mounted or oa
fool, ihry Invariably charge no all
four.
In charging moat anluml give vent
to certain vocal aniimU-gruut or
roar -and llil. ll I natural lo .up-
I Hie, I dune with a view to terri
lying and demorlUlug the object they
are attacking; In fact, more often than
not It I mere bounce ou the animal'
part 1 have often nun llger roar
when charging w ho never really meant
miachlef, aud who, when met by a
bold front, turned off. No doubt (a
Ih cae of attacking their follow an
imal ealabll.hluga "fuuk" and to de
moralUailon, iheae roar, may prova
an ld In biiugltig their victim within
their grasp; but. a a rule, when en
gaged In punmlt of prey the feiuUi d
cna ptinclpnlly on their power of
tea I thy approach, and only roar at
the last moment before eialtig. with a
view to panlyxlng morally their in
tended victim. I.ttnd ami W'nUr,
THE FLIWT.
h alary ( raela llalkr4 la low.
Taw KMiaaranl
A gentleman with a pugnaclou air
aud a decidedly pretty girl came Into
a down-tow u restaurant a few even
lug ago. aay the New York JS'mx,
and walking liver to a table in a re
tired corner, The gentleman allowed
hla knowledge for pretty girl bv pull
ing out a chair facing the wall and
trying to bow hi companion Into it.
Tue girl Immediately exhibited her
knowledge of the wile of young men
by declining the chair offered ber aud
taking th on which enabled her to
what wa going on In the real
aurant. Thl. compelled her escort to
ll with hi face to the wall a position
that emed lo be highly gratifying to
the girl aud extremly eiubamuuing to
him.
The couple had lust got their onp
when two rollicking young fellow
came In and became Impreaaod at onra
by the pretty girl. They looked at her
Bilmliiugly, and the returned their
glance, with Interest and hook tha
ribbon on her hat and milled Ian
giilthlnglv. Her companion accepted
Iheae Indlcntiona of enjoyment a a
tribute to himself, and he lost toine
thlng of hi puguacion air and waxed
Jocose. Hn poured out a glau of win
for her ami touched her glass with hi a,
but Just a he wa about In drink ha
noticed that her eve were turned
awar from bl and were twinkling
gayly. He twisted hit head .harply
around and raiiuht one of the young
meu poising a gins of wine aud nod
ding al th girl.
Thla dlpleaaed him, and he at hi
win on the tahle and glared at the
girl. She paid no attention to hi
anger, however, but kepi her eye on
the rollicking young man and alpped
her wine and hook her ribbon a vi
vaciously as ever. Her eacort continued
to glare luragely at her until It dawned
tiMin him I hat It wa usnleaa. Then he
prang to hi feet and .trotted over to
the rollicking young man ud in a
threatening way naked:
"Say, do you ee anything very at
tractive in that young woman?''
"Not very," wan tha careless reply.
"Well, u'either do 1 aeeP Maid the
young womau' escort, who then went
hack to her with the air of a conquer
or, and wa pmittid of himself. The
young woman had heard the convcr
aatlon and naturall enough aha wa
vexed. She drew herself at i Illy up aud
distributed curnftil glances between
her eacort aud the rollicking young
man. Both nf these gentlemen tt
that they had inmle a big mistake aud
ail air of aomherue settled down:
A I -a nip ClilinnrY Ktlt Years In I'ae
A lady lu Amerlens, (ia., I using a
lamp chimney that alio Im had and
used dully for the pastulght years, and
he expect to use it for many years
yet, Sim any that alio boiled it lu salt
ami water wheu it wits liought in IHHi,
and no matter how largo the flam
run through it, it wont break.
Ilcauty of Our Girl.
The beauty of American girl Is a
much discussed ipiestion. It I said
they have no distinct point, but it
cum to mo ihat any one who hn
traveled must easily have settled upon
tha salient points which go to make
up the beauty nf an American girl,
ity a writer In tho llluUnrtal Ameri
can. A general delicacy of outline na
well al coloring are demanded. A
woman with very largo eye and uo
other elianns Is never rated a a
beauty here. When a woman la auld
to be "beautiful lu America It means
that die Inn a face molded In delicate
line, features that are thoroughly
harmonious, ngnro which ia neither
pi'onoitiit'flilly athletic nor ton plump,
and amall hands nnd feet. In England
If a woman ia nix feet two, aud broad
across llm shoulders, aim ia Invariably
spoken of lu tho socio I y papers a
beautiful, though her feet may out
class tho iron-clnd and her knuckles
atralch wildly abroad,
In Italy anil Spain a pair of big, ex
pressive eye are enough, but lu Amer
ica a thoroughly balanced series of at
tractions must bo shown to win the
title. American girl form a lofty,
guy, Intrepid aud (lashing army, whoso
audacity should be feminine. They
havo nil of the athletic look of the Kn
gllsh woman, without the lll-litliug
glove and ponderous boo is. The as
sumption of Heml-maactillnu nlllre roll
them of their greatest charm, Wo
manliness I illt the most ailraellve
quality of woman.
Florida Sponge.
The Florida sponge Heel 1ms done
exceedingly welt this winter. Thn
weather na's been favorable at'd the
supply is Inexhaustible, as they grow
almost as fast M they are gathered.
Some of the sponues are as largo u
tt nail-keg. One boat gathered 3,000
Id a few dity.
WIT AND HUMOR.
Getting up a woman's club Raking
a broom. I'tiUadtlphUt Timet.
Handlmgiiliig may be classed among
the too U.w hit. 1 1 nit tiijXimji.
The bust Illustration of mingled
h'tNi and fear I a lazy man looking
for work. MKUmd I'rtu.
It I. only when a man begin to dic
tate hi letter that be find out how
jMHirly he can talk. fWfi.
Kvery beginning I difficult, except
laziness, which t the beginning of all
crime. Flicgnnte llluiUr.
"What dlil she do when you sent her
those flowers, with your lovef" "Ite
turued my lnve.M .V. '. Herald.
Th course of true love never run
smooth, ud It would not be half the
fun if It would. fwiri frt4 hu.
' Bometltue a man I hard-working
man and then again sometime he Is
only a hanl workiiigman. 7'crr llault
Jitinn,
It I better for a young man to hara
III trousers bag at the knees than
to hava hi. brain bag at the ears.
oi(uii Tmvdltr.
Charles Lamb's humor never .hows
a last of blllerues.: bill, then, Charles
had a regular lob as bookkeeper to fall
back upun. i'i,
' At lh concert "l want to aU you
iiietloii," "I Knit Ulk uow; wait
until the concert begin. H A'ew Or
leans Timtt-Uanocral.
' Wall. I called on ML Hobliett last
night and broke the Ice." "How un
fortunate when Ice I so hard to re
place. "-.V. )'. HeruU.
It I not alway proper lo add res
the young man behind the soda foun
tain as doctor, even though he is a us
xlclau. Tultdo UUule.
"I saw Chappie last ulgliL lie had
a head ou." "You don't say. Was It
the same one he usually has or a real
bcadf" .V. '. Comntn:iaL
The Enumerator (turning back)
'sUn question, more, Mr. lllank."
"Well, out with It." "Are you single
or baldheadf" JSomrrt'i'ffe Journal.
Happiui M never comes when it I
ought, ll simply loaf lastly in tha
hade. and let people tire themselves
out hunting for lt,.Sui rri7c Jour
nal. When Richard III. offered to givt
his kingdom for a horse he might hara
meanl a horse that would win when he
bet on him lo the race. I'hilntUljihut
Timrt.
Mlnitter(to home Jockey) "What 1
your business, may 1 ask?" Horse
jockey "1 am In the service of the
American Track Society." Motion
Mr. Huutlng
"1 tee that F.mln
alary of fjo.OOO a
I'aaha is to have a
var." Kuutinir "lou don t tar!
What club has be signed with?" 'A
liotlonitin,
'Turfeasor, what' the difference,
nvhow. between a tlddlean' a violin?"
"Zee s.Yiue deefcren sat egxeest be
tween xe vceddler o' so violiulst."
Uarjer'$ Butar.
First Salctladv "tlsv you seen
Mollie' new fallow. What doe b
look like?" Second 8lelady-"0,
be' Just a bargain counter affair, that's
all." 7'erre liuuU KiprtH.
If people generally would ouly try
half as hard to secure health as they
do to obtain wealth this would be oue
of the healthiest countries on the faca
of the earth. .Scranon 2VA.
What do you do w ith your flannel
after they have begun to shrink?" "I
let 'oiu shrink a little more and then
nut 'em by to use for pulse-warmer
lu whiter.'" VhUadelpKia Timet.
Nephow(wllh newspaper) "They're
haviug a hard time trying to tettl tha
Hungarian Diet question." Aunt
Why don't thev give thoin Just plain
Mirk and beans?"' liwUm Herald.
Mr. Staid "And I Mis Uigglegag
lie well educated?" Mr. MoFitd
"Educated? I should say so. Why. tha
ribbons on her graduating dres alone
cost over fiO." lloslon Trantcript,
Mr. Jones, hlriug a victoria for a
drive In the park "There, wife, we'll
put th coachman Inside, and you get
up on the box with mo. We'll be a
fine a any of the folks." Flitgtndt
BlatUr.
Probably the lou man has never no
ticed the dainty little tong that are
furnished with boxc of confectionery.
They are neat, Inexpensive, aud would
be quite useful In hit business. rJ'twA
inyton IVit.
Brlggs "Is your olllce boy still pur
suing hit duties with the tame feverish
avidity he exhibited at the ttart?"
llraggs "Not exactly. He la exhibit
ing what might be called a spring
feverish avidity now." Terra Haute
A'xprwj, ,
Father "Clara, what game was
that you were playing when I looked
in the parlor last night?" Clara
'Hide and eok." Father "What
was the kissing for?'1 Clara "O,
that wat tho duty on tho hide." Bos
ton Herald.
Citlnen "If you know of the ap
proach of great storms why don't you
stop them before they reach a place?"
tten. Ureoly "Stop thorn! Why, that
is Impossible." Citiiseu "O, no. All
you have to do l to predict them."
X Y. Sun.
"You shouldu't And fault with uiy
temper," mid (he. "When we were
married, vou know, you took me for
better or lor worse." "I know It," was
the reply, "but I had a hope of strik
ing something like a general average."
H'aoAiMtoH lt)t.
Great Editor "I see It stated that I
the now electrical chair will not kill.
Detail a reporter to try It. If he et- I
capes It will make, the "biggest klud of
a sensation." City Kditor "But what t
(hall 1 do if It does kill? Great Editor
"Get a new reporter.'" ..V. Y. Weekly.
"I don't think you give yoursolf
credit for the merits you really pos
sess," tald a young woman to Willie
Washington. "I have beeu told that
you are quite a hard thluker." "Ya-a-s,"
"It has struck me that 1 think with a
great deal of difficulty." Washington
They were dancing a waits together
and he did not dare propose openly.
"I am not hard to satisfy," he returned
In answer to some remark of hers.
"I do not want the earth,'.' twinging
her energetically, "but I would like
to have the whirled." Philadelphia
Times,
Clerk (at summer hotel) "The lady
In No. 16 has been complaining about
the chambermaid.": Landlord "If
No 16 Isn't satisfied, she better go.
The trouble with these city people
is they Imagine they come here Just
for their own pleasure." Harvard
Lampoon.
A woman in this State, In filling out
a consul blank, put down her husband
at a ' aatlo. She told the census
numarstor that ha wa at present eo-
gigod in paying an election net by
pushing a wheelbarrow twenty-fir
miles, and the didn't aspect him bom
for a woek. Korrtitown Herald.
"Why don't you go to workf" tha
asked of the tramp. "I am (-working,
lady." "At what You (how no
tigiit of it." "No matter for that
mil in, I'm a-working a a traveler ad
vr. for a soap firm. I'm the 'Before
Using card, and my pardner aronnd
the oorner represent the 'After Uilng
end of the combination. Thank you,
mum."i'hiUuietphut Time.
Jennie "How did you enjoy your
telf at theater last night?" Mamie
"O, Immentelyt" Jennie "What wa
the play?" Mamie "I declare 1 don't
know. Let me tee I think I have got
a program In my other drets pocket,"
Mamie "It doe not mailer; but I
think it (trange that you ahould go to
a theater and not know what th play
wa. "Mamie "Why. bleyou, dear,
I was with a theater party.-flostox
Courier.
HUMAN HAIR MARKET.
a MiUUm rnad. t hanga frao. B4 ta
Mm4 Kwry Kmc
rrhap( there la to (Uipl article
about which lot 1 known by tba pub
lic than human hair a an article of
commerce. It will doubtlea turprbw
many when It 1 la tod that tha deal
er In human hal good do not depend
on cbanoa clipping her and there,
but that there 1 a regular balr har
vest which can alway be relied on.
It 1 tald that over 1,000,000 pound
of human balr are used annually In tba
civilised world for adorning th head
of women. In New Yrk City alone
over Ave toot of thlt clast of goods are
Imported every year. Much of the
balr used In thl country cornea from
the bead of American women and ia
fully a fine In (bade and texture aa
the Imported article. There ha bees
oma talk recently of forming a tru.t
In thl busineu, and If this untoward
vent should occur our American
women would have to dlspeasa
with a considerable portion of
their tresie or pay a much
higher price for thom. A well-known
hair dealer of this city gavo a reporter
reoently tome Into routing fact about
tha hair buslnest and the touroe from
which the beautiful locks are obtained.
"Moat of the balr which I ute In my
business." he said, "I obtain from la
dle in thl city. We had a big har
vest during the recent craze for hav
ing tha hair cut short Many of tha
ladle who had tbelr lock thorn at
that time have tlnce bitterly regretted
it In many instances the hair grew
so tlowly that It became nooettary to
wear a wig or twitch as tba fashion
changed. After women have reached
a certain age the balr teem to par
tially lot It vigor, and If cut it will
not grow again. Blonde hair teems
to be going out and the demand for
bleaching preparation 1 not nearly
to great a it wa a few year, ago.
Not enough human hair can ba pro
cured In thl country to supply the
home demand and In consequence
there 1 a large amount Imported
annually, The largest supply of hair
come from Switzerland. Germany and
tha French province There Is a hu
man hair market at Morlans, la the
Department of the Lower Pyrenees,
held every other Friday, lfundred
of trafficking halr-dreser throng to
the little place from far and near to
buy up the hair of young peasant
girl. When a bargain 1 (truck the
dealer lay the money in tha open
palm of the teller, applies hi (hear
and In a minute the luxuriant treue
fall on tha floor. Of course, a maiden
can rarely see her long braid pas
Into the dealer' possession without
crying, but she console herself for
their lo with the thought that they
will grow again, A woman' hair
may grow to the length of tlx feet
Mm Host, of Paris, refuted five thou
tand franc for her rown of glory.'
wbloh wa about that length. It haa
been proved that a alngla hair will
bear up a weight of four ounces with
out breaking, but the hair thus heav
ily weighed mud be dark brown, for
blonde hair break( under a strain ot
two and one-half ounces. What won
der la It, then, that 'beauty can draw
love with a single hair?' There are
over five thouaand importer, manu
facturer and dealer ot hair In the
United States, and they will be repre
sented at the World's Fair in 1892."
Rochester Post-Ex press.
A Presuming Little Girl.
"A" little girl, who mada ry fre
ouont use of the word ' "guess," was one
day reproved for it by her teacher.
"Don't say 'guess,' Mary," snidMls
Tones; "say 'presume,' "
Presently one of Mary's little play
mates, coming up to her, remarked:
"I think your cape Is very pretty,
and my mamma wants your mamma
to lend her tha pattern, because she
is going to make me one like it"
"My mamma haa no pattern," wa
the prompt reply; "(he cut it by pre
sume." Texaa Sittings.
A Unique Time-Piece.
A Western jeweler haa Invented a
novel time-pleoe. On a steel . wire
stretched across hi show window a
stuffed canary hops from left to right,
Indicating aa It goes the hours of the
day by pointing with its beak at a dial
(tretched beneath the wire and having
the figures from 1 to Si. When it
reaches the latter figure it glides
acrou the window to 1 again. There
U no mechanism that can be seen, all
the work being concealed Inside tha
bird. Jeweler' Weekly, r
How the Kalter Rides.
Mr. Yates writes of the recent re
view at Aldershot of the British army
by th Emperor of Germany! "The
Kaiser was extremely Industrious in
looking Into the hoart of things, gal
loping about from point to point with
a recklossnet( which rather discon
certed several corpulent officers In at
tendance upon him. He himself is
rapidly Increasing in weight, and is
already quite as heavy a man a wa
hit father in hit mature prime. Head
long rider as he is, hi teat on horse
back it the reverse of good, being the
very loose and bucketing sort ot seat
that the old sohool of ringmaster used
to objurgate as a 'wash-ball eat'
There can not be much amiss with hi
leftarm, since he holds the relnt In hi
left hand, and, without employing" hi.,,
right, can pull a hone on hi haunches
Iron a gallop."