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About The Independence west side. (Independence, Or.) 18??-1891 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 29, 1890)
THE INDEPENDENCE $200,000. In Intprwvvnient will bemad lu Inl-MutUiic ami vlchiliiliy during the year. In ttpiiat Ptp Devoted to the bet Interest! of Polk County. VOL. VII. $2.00 Tcr Year. INDEPENDENCE, POLK COUNTY, OREGON, EH I DAY, AUGUST 29, 1090. Five Cents Per Copy. NO. 42. THE WEST SID& ft. & rUTUM, rviusm raja. M MM tM KMI.r. UB3CNIPTION RATKS. FAVAtLK IN AOVANC. M Month . . . Tata Month . . Wnn lot paid In lvmr I ts ,JJ TO ADVERTISER8. W, 4 ! ast II u at Ik On ai ittlfurula KMlnl waiMH a fnuUMMti MlU an lhitli toputttaat I U. WJtltav SIM -i MUatt ilka uuk I f IK Hi t lk. WiII.mm THitowll itrlt elMmiaitna l Wm l la ii..tn uatli It la be im n iw bast JOB PRINTING 1 IS tm Latest and Best Styles, HB it TNI LU WiuSr LIVING i RATES. M-- - - l. --JL1UII PHYSICIANS-DENTISTRY. LEE & BUTLER, Physicians & Surgeons. ;AUMJ U. S. Examining Surgeons. Off'- -t .Ida al Mala M., i.vsrt-uK.cK, or. toon E. 1. KBTCHUM, Physician and Surgeon. 0nm1i First fialUuul Bask. UtpBrtMOINCt. MOO. DR. J. K. LOCKE, Physician and Surgeon. Bucn Vista, Oregon. J. S. DAVIDSON, M. D. Physician and Surgeon, u. t, muRixo suioioi, Independence, OrtfM. DR. J. B. JOHNSON, Resident Dentist, All work warranted to ft the bt of SatiifacUoa. MOWVMPKJtCJI, OlION. ATTORNEYS. JOHN J. DALY, Attorney and Counselor at Law COU.KCT10H MADS. OfflM: Mill St.. Of po.ll Court Boat, DALLAS, fOLK COUNTY, OktOOI. A. M. HURLEY, Attorney and Counselor at Law. OSm: Car. Mai a4 Monmouth lit, WDIrtHDIKCI, BIOOK W. L. WILKIN, Atlonw) and Counljr at lw. All Boalnanlrutd tome will rwalw Prompt Attention. COLLECTIONS A SPECIALTY. Office In Opr Houne. lndfpndnc, Or, E. E. Krengel, -ANI Manufacturer of the BOSS CULTIVATOR -:And:- Krengel's Iron Fence. HORSE SHOEING. Mr. Thorn u Fennel, late of Chi cago, as experienced horM shoer, make a tpedalty of that line. Circular and Crosscut Saw Gumming DON B T E. E. KRENGEL Wagon Repairing ELGIN & HOLM .. fM.iirnnfM Mtmnanv a build ing. Hiili m, ori aon. tire pwpared d all , kind" "fwiiK'in repair, M.-intll1- hnrMwIi. Initand i,iMrkmllhin((. Truck nnd. lrs ' jppe!luUy. lM I pirjtflatiopalBai)H UBirViBUKI, HKNU. President J. t. COOPS. Caehlar W. H. HAWL1Y. DinatOTORtM jr. r a. oiwv 9 H BTMitasJh(i iai fklM . W 4 ftU WMfl M ll.MHI ttatw aetata el taSSWtM ttFBS. r-0M m:l.tt4r.)L I n until If TtU THE INDEPENDENCE National:, Bank I CAPITAL STOCK, $50,000. H. HIMONURa. ASMAM MtLSOM. VM Pi W. P. CONNAWAY. CMMl, aaaNOakjaaani WteSX DIRSCTCHrSt JMktta MaDanlet. H,M.Jumi, A. S. QaatnaR, n. Hi ASeM H Otooav. Ta aV I. A. Ailau (EtUblUhed by Natlosal tuthortty.) THE aprnii : Or SALEM, OREOON. CAPITAL, PAID UP, $5o.ooo.oo, SURPLUS. ! B.OOO. a. a wallaci. w. w. mabtoi, PtaaldMt. naamillwA I. t. AL1IBT, Caaktar, LOANS MADE. Ta hum aa wbaa aa4 atk aiawbaataala anidaa wateiaaa4 at la atara,altkat la artraat fraawa ar aMI wwatJvaaaa. I. ! If lliwrvftl or hi- Polk Count) BanK, Monmouth, Or. THE s- Willafflette Real Estate Co., Of Independeiw, Oregon. TruMct general I eat SaUU Bualne bar ad telU Property, affecU Intaraact aad doe feaeral CotiYcyaac Buaineu, Partlet havlag Land for ale will And It to their advaatag e to LIST THEIR PROPERTY! With thl Company, t they art dally ending tUt ofland cut, thu plo lag deairahl property before the rtl denU of the Eat JAMBS GIBSOK, J. W. KIRKLAND, Preldn, Secretary. G. W. SHINN, Houu, Blgn & Drnimintil Paper Hanging, Graining, Frescoing, Etc. Pint room oppoite JohnonT SUble, Independence, Oregon. F. J. MORRIS, Prop. Fine Wines, Liquors AND CIGARS. MIXED DRINKS A SPECIALTY. I'Jr'caker Crick, Independent. Mita Ada Judion. Mr. William. JUDSON & WILLIAMS, DRSSSJSHKERS. UmJPINGPliPUiINQ A SPBCIAIrTYf t CT PAUL, f i. t.t " ASP , . .. East, Noiii ft ni'-tlwr (wril.tiliir, Imnil.if an; Mn ul ilivOiiniMtiiy ur T W. LEI, CP, AT. A. IViriUa I, Or.'o TifMAiotl I11.I1 . nan, Ur. rtn for 1 Railroad Co. T .1 iNortncin ran lie RAILROAD CO. Uowrved for the BRICK YARD.: J. R. COOPER, Of Indepondenoe, hn ving a steam engine a brick machine untl several acres of flnest clay, Ih now prepared to keep 011 band a fine quality of Brick, which will bo sold at reoHon able priottH. A.B.aHiaas. MEAT .MARKET, I. P. Inrine, cutter. Choice Uy oa hand. Dmriitm't Irkk. UA IE. Elkins & Co., raOWITOIS Off TBI City Track and Transfer Co. Hauling of all Kinds Done at Reasonable Rates. fTVltl Fd. OaK, p 0 Fir Uood For Sal?. MrCollectiom Made Uouthly.l INDEPENDENCE, ER0G0N dTY hlOTEb, C Street Independence, Or, A. W.-HOWELL, Prop. PtrtclM la rnry retpect Special attention given traoiient cMtoattr. A ample room for commercial traveler. Mitchell & Bohannon, I. Manuracturer of SASH & DOORS. SCROLL SQWIHQ MD HEPMRINQ. Main 8trtet, ludrpeu.lrnc, Ortgon. J. H. ALEXANDER, :Dealer In; Drugs and Medicines, BKDNA VISTA, OR. itaving rmrchaMil the tork of Drag formerly ownril by U. W. Robertaon. I am prepared lo meet all the old cu.le tser. and many more new out, ail sd coufteou UeaUuenl ta all. BKAMER & CRAVEN, f Manufacturer of - And Pealer In All hind ol Hameu & SadJIery Good. Carriage Trimming and Repairing Oregon State fain 1 Ihlrilrih Annual Kthlbitlun. Vtiilfr il'i' iiiBiiimrmi'lil of llic llngt.n Hlalr lt.nrtl.ir ArirMilliirv, will I" lii-ll n tli. .lull' ralr nnxind. nrar Hnl.'ui, .HiMiitiiMilii on Monday, Sept. 15th Ami lalln oni wiik, D V E B. $15,000 CASH PREMIUMS orreri'il fr Kurlmiliiiral, l k nmt mitctian Iral ribll.lU, fur work, of art ami fenry work ami for trial of .fl. Iliilui-.! rnlM fir nirranil fri'ltflil on all trmwp.irlmli'n llniwto anil rroin I he hilr. Im x iff mil linprmTini'iH. Imvp hit n mail)' iiin lhi (niunil. ami Iimwiwi-iI fmllllle. ar of f.T.'.l rihllillnr.. The Pavillion Will be Open Four Nlghta During the Week. A iilrmllil lli'ldor liori vnli'mt In llir m'imI ilii.arlmchl, ami Diiv rxhlliltlim. of ra ring will be givim each inf, Knlrlr for premium, will rl.wa Monday at 1Ai p. in, Kxlillillum an nrgi'd to innkv a many of Ihrlr imlrl" on Nnttirdny befom thr fair aa hmIIiI, (lood, aiilmnl. ami arllcli". for FXhllilllou munt Iw In their pliu'i'. hy 10 p. in. on Mondny. I'ltlCKit OK AHMImHIONi Mitn'.ilay tlrkot .IHr Woiontr. day tlcki.t. Mint'. M'iim llrkt-t .Hflti Womiiil'. M'iouiii tli'Ui't. t .00 H.' nil to wrciury hi I'orlliiiid, On-Kuii, for a priMiilinn llt, 1), II. MlDNKV, I'riMldi'tit (IHWId, Kfcri'liiiy, J. T II. M. LINES, Funeral Director AND- UNDERTAKER! ll!Yr'' A full anduuiaplelo lino of Fn noral goodri alwayu on hand. Jackson's Restaurant I Meiiln served for 25 cent eaeb. It!e Cream 15 cents. Board 13.50 per week. Main St., Independence. TEACHER'S EXAMINATION. NOTIOK l liertihy given that pommrinclng on Wedntwday, Aug.. 27, 1890, th qmirtarly public eminlnntlon nfTcnidior'i for Polk County will tin hold In thu nourt liou.e at liiilliu. All Hpplli'unl.. nra expected to lie prawn I at the opcnluir aimaliin. V i W. I, IlKYNtlMW, rvl(iulHupt.uri'olkCo, HARNESS AND SADDLES. I flood IkMih Ptr nojra. Rtijrt want tnrit that lifln at finri", a I he N. Y. Kilning Hun, Oil Hit itmiiiut llm iil'Mlliiilnary Intrti ililrtlini hIi lili illKllnroa niiMt.lif hi'iiil'i tun i'l la (ILu.lofnl n llifin. "The Titll.miiti," for lu.laiice, U a niitrvvlnu.lv gunil aiory fur a boy to rt'Htl rr It nut for tha Isilltm ao tttnint of tlm journey of llm hrro of the tain ilinmjih the ilnwrta nf rllln. "IviiiiIioh" la wrliap the only work of hoot l which l entirely fm from thl. tilijHoilott. From the tima llml Ivaiilio miM'H (iurih. the wIiii-IiitiI, and Wainlia, Ota Ji-.lrr. lo the rlom of I he btiiik I hem I not a dull peg In It. Itoliln IIihiiI, Utile John, Krlitr Turk, unit Hlchitrd 1. aiijar In lha vritatl U".h, littu Ilia Juw I rliiilmil In all tha vliinna of hi race. Km'O the IukUIi Athul.titi I. iiiiwlu kuoo to U. a. he wan. Thw nnl olhrr novfl of Scott wlileh Hii.I intMiv.tliig I "Qtifiitlu inr waril." The book Iwifla. with the nar row aacape of the hero from lianulng, nd Ih mlniflm! ehreardtie. ami u lrlltlon n( Lotil XI. I lnlare(lug ibruiiuhoiit (lie lnwik. . The ImI of Marryat't novel ar look, which uo boy oan affurd to og lot. The fun In thnin ha Ilia eSxr ven'riiceof vhmiaifne. Who fan tut ret the ah.tmli tif Mr. Midhliman Yy with die article of warf 'I'lwii hi niarvvliiut triangular duttl and petticoat Hag apMal lo every v wllb a grain of humor in hi roniK'.ltlon. "Japhvt In Hnart h of a r at her" I another work of Mtrryat well worth rKadlug. Tha huitinrou picture of llm Quaker coulaiund in that book I alwata Innlt. "Jacob Kalthlul" give n goml plcltne of Ilia life of Ih Tlimt waiormaii a cciihiry ago, and "New. tun Ko'lcr" a rapiiat acvouul of life In the nicri'liaut aurvlre. K. M. itallanlyn ha written Kinie xinlletit laioki for boy. The Iw.t ol the m I "The Coral hland." A boy ha no dillltulir in eenltig with life owneyea t'uterkln. Jack. nd Ralph paaaiug the loug aunuuor day on oue of the fcouth 1'ai llla . laland. Kvory now and then there la a mad rn.h to bailie In Ih limpid water of the lagoon. Tli eUl to the "('oral Maud," called Ih "Corilla lUaiera," l not nearly o gixid. In "Krling the Uold " by the tame author, there If a gtod picture ol A merle during lu coionltation by Ih Korviuan a tlmuaand year ago. How thev cam her ud dwlt her, and finally went home again, I then fully let down. Two old faililoned book dcrr mention on account of their popularity In th put "The Scotll.a Chief' give, the hiiiory of th heroic Wallace without any terlou departure from the truth. "Si. Clair of the UleV' I a chariKlug dory of the career of rWuiiiah outlaw durlug the early yean of ibe Stuart dytiaaty. tipeaklng of novel which bav a hi tone tide to them brings up the name of Hulwar Lyiloa. In Harold" la a picture of the hut of th baion king and of the ilUa.trou battle of Hi Inga. No boy will hava hi notlnn of hi.tory wrN)d by reading thl book, la Ih lU Of the Uarvn," I.hi, a boy will find much that bi lulem.tlug aliont the lint and lt "king-maker" that Kngland ever had. Kvery on know "The Lt Day of Pom pell," In which the destruction nf Hcivulaneiim and Pompeii la graph ically ilccrlbed. Hut "The Ukadi. alora." by Maj. Whyte-Mulvllle. la a much mora luterr.ting book, well II l ted for boy' reading, lu fuel, the work of W liyle-Molville ar too much tiejjluolcd nowaday. A White I'oicwk, The Lontlon Zoological tocloly poa. eaaea a while peacock. The bird prv acrvc. th marking which diatin- fftilHhod the ecie, partimlarly I he arge eye-like ap U on I he mil feather. The effect nf thnae aiiot I reinarka ble. They are exactly like tha pattern ou a diuntink table-cloth. HOW WILD ANIMALS CHARCE. aoaa of th Tarlne. Way. la VHilnh The1, Altar tkalr Vletlnh We are III the habit of teeing In Ixxiki of travel and ki I very utiirtlliv lllu trntlou of the attitudn wild ani mal aaatime wheu charging their hu imtn aKgreatnr--altltiidH which. In the main and in oil eoavntlal point, are nioni Incorrect. For InnUiiee, the tiger ha the credit of annulling in hi. victim' akull with a (ledge-hammer-like blownf hla fore-paw. The elephant I generally depleted coming down like a locomotive with hi proboacii extend ed to It full length; the bl.ou and buf falo charging from a diatance ?f many yard, with their hnad and horn low ered; and our undue frlemla (lauding up on their hind leg, alway expoaiug the fatal while horieihoe on their heart moat couvotiiunily. I ihould be glad, therefore, to hear the opinion of tome of our corre)ondciil, who have hot the. large ftrat naturot and be ing charged by them, regarding tnclr attlludii wheu aaaumlng the otfenaire, for my own extwrience I to totally at variance with the preconceived notion of artiau that I tliiuk the matter may not be unworthy of public diauaaiou through the medium of your column.. To begin with the fclitht, I am glad to my that In the few Instance. In which I have atood a charge my an tagonist never got home; but a relative of mine, who was very badly wound ed by a tiger, nnd aereral frlunds, who have not only beeu lu the mouth, ol tiger, but of lloua. all toll me that the atiimnl, to mui, purlmp. a homely form of expression, "came rottat bung up agnliiat thwrn." The description I lie i' hup. inure expressive thau reilitvd in language, but 1 think convey the Idea of animal "hurtling" up against vou. In seizing thulr prey, tlg' Ti, and I believe llor though with the lattei 1 have had no experience, almoat In variably go for the throat, though lu one or two ln.tutiuv that huve couui under my notion of nninmU klllud by tiger they have evidently been firm hamstrung! these, probably, were the work of young and iuexperieuuod tiger.. I once aw a man charged and knocked over by a panther, and he only mvtd hi throat by putting up hi arm, which, aa wo.ll a hi ahotildur, the animal, grasped with teeth and claw. The relative to whom I alluded wiu aelzod In a almilnr manner, and three friend, of mine who have beeu mauled by tiger, and one by a lion all describe the animal knocking them over by iher force of weight before oiling them. I think, therefore, the being knocked over by a paw stroke U a fallacy. Any one who know anything annul elephant mint ba aware that their trunk, and particularly the tip of the trunk, 1 the moit dolloate and nenl. live part of the animal, and that he ihleld It from Injury by every possible menu in hi power. It I therefore very uulikely that he would expose ll In the act of charging. My experi ence, 11 mi tod though it be, point to (hs (not that an elephant, onoe ha ha inai up ni mum to rnarga, curio up hi trunk tight. IMora charging, and In order to get wind of hi adversary, ha may Indeed extend It, but once tha piewiice of a foe to be attnckml I. de tected the probn.cla I put out of the way of pn.sllil harm. Jllaon I am thinking of Ilia Indian animal. Hu 0iruj-ul butfulooa, when they charge, Invariably poke their uoae up lu the air and commune by running at you with Ihelr head, well up, much lu the manner of di luetic, cattle, and only lower their horii. whuii withlu a few Yard, of ob ject of their atttnutloii., Thl I tak to be a more matter of common eu on the pact of the animal, for, if he pul hl head down ay even forty yard away, he could not poiiily ao where he w going. Hear, whull wuuudeil. will, Indeed, often get up on their hlud leg and dance alHiul from aheur rage, aud will also al lime do an in order to get a better View of Ilia wlmt'eiilioiiU. of their enemy; but vihuii they vlmrgo, whether ll le al a man mounted or oa fool, ihry Invariably charge no all four. In charging moat anluml give vent to certain vocal aniimU-gruut or roar -and llil. ll I natural lo .up- I Hie, I dune with a view to terri lying and demorlUlug the object they are attacking; In fact, more often than not It I mere bounce ou the animal' part 1 have often nun llger roar when charging w ho never really meant miachlef, aud who, when met by a bold front, turned off. No doubt (a Ih cae of attacking their follow an imal ealabll.hluga "fuuk" and to de moralUailon, iheae roar, may prova an ld In biiugltig their victim within their grasp; but. a a rule, when en gaged In punmlt of prey the feiuUi d cna ptinclpnlly on their power of tea I thy approach, and only roar at the last moment before eialtig. with a view to panlyxlng morally their in tended victim. I.ttnd ami W'nUr, THE FLIWT. h alary ( raela llalkr4 la low. Taw KMiaaranl A gentleman with a pugnaclou air aud a decidedly pretty girl came Into a down-tow u restaurant a few even lug ago. aay the New York JS'mx, and walking liver to a table in a re tired corner, The gentleman allowed hla knowledge for pretty girl bv pull ing out a chair facing the wall and trying to bow hi companion Into it. Tue girl Immediately exhibited her knowledge of the wile of young men by declining the chair offered ber aud taking th on which enabled her to what wa going on In the real aurant. Thl. compelled her escort to ll with hi face to the wall a position that emed lo be highly gratifying to the girl aud extremly eiubamuuing to him. The couple had lust got their onp when two rollicking young fellow came In and became Impreaaod at onra by the pretty girl. They looked at her Bilmliiugly, and the returned their glance, with Interest and hook tha ribbon on her hat and milled Ian giilthlnglv. Her companion accepted Iheae Indlcntiona of enjoyment a a tribute to himself, and he lost toine thlng of hi puguacion air and waxed Jocose. Hn poured out a glau of win for her ami touched her glass with hi a, but Just a he wa about In drink ha noticed that her eve were turned awar from bl and were twinkling gayly. He twisted hit head .harply around and raiiuht one of the young meu poising a gins of wine aud nod ding al th girl. Thla dlpleaaed him, and he at hi win on the tahle and glared at the girl. She paid no attention to hi anger, however, but kepi her eye on the rollicking young man and alpped her wine and hook her ribbon a vi vaciously as ever. Her eacort continued to glare luragely at her until It dawned tiMin him I hat It wa usnleaa. Then he prang to hi feet and .trotted over to the rollicking young man ud in a threatening way naked: "Say, do you ee anything very at tractive in that young woman?'' "Not very," wan tha careless reply. "Well, u'either do 1 aeeP Maid the young womau' escort, who then went hack to her with the air of a conquer or, and wa pmittid of himself. The young woman had heard the convcr aatlon and naturall enough aha wa vexed. She drew herself at i Illy up aud distributed curnftil glances between her eacort aud the rollicking young man. Both nf these gentlemen tt that they had inmle a big mistake aud ail air of aomherue settled down: A I -a nip ClilinnrY Ktlt Years In I'ae A lady lu Amerlens, (ia., I using a lamp chimney that alio Im had and used dully for the pastulght years, and he expect to use it for many years yet, Sim any that alio boiled it lu salt ami water wheu it wits liought in IHHi, and no matter how largo the flam run through it, it wont break. Ilcauty of Our Girl. The beauty of American girl Is a much discussed ipiestion. It I said they have no distinct point, but it cum to mo ihat any one who hn traveled must easily have settled upon tha salient points which go to make up the beauty nf an American girl, ity a writer In tho llluUnrtal Ameri can. A general delicacy of outline na well al coloring are demanded. A woman with very largo eye and uo other elianns Is never rated a a beauty here. When a woman la auld to be "beautiful lu America It means that die Inn a face molded In delicate line, features that are thoroughly harmonious, ngnro which ia neither pi'onoitiit'flilly athletic nor ton plump, and amall hands nnd feet. In England If a woman ia nix feet two, aud broad across llm shoulders, aim ia Invariably spoken of lu tho socio I y papers a beautiful, though her feet may out class tho iron-clnd and her knuckles atralch wildly abroad, In Italy anil Spain a pair of big, ex pressive eye are enough, but lu Amer ica a thoroughly balanced series of at tractions must bo shown to win the title. American girl form a lofty, guy, Intrepid aud (lashing army, whoso audacity should be feminine. They havo nil of the athletic look of the Kn gllsh woman, without the lll-litliug glove and ponderous boo is. The as sumption of Heml-maactillnu nlllre roll them of their greatest charm, Wo manliness I illt the most ailraellve quality of woman. Florida Sponge. The Florida sponge Heel 1ms done exceedingly welt this winter. Thn weather na's been favorable at'd the supply is Inexhaustible, as they grow almost as fast M they are gathered. Some of the sponues are as largo u tt nail-keg. One boat gathered 3,000 Id a few dity. WIT AND HUMOR. Getting up a woman's club Raking a broom. I'tiUadtlphUt Timet. Handlmgiiliig may be classed among the too U.w hit. 1 1 nit tiijXimji. The bust Illustration of mingled h'tNi and fear I a lazy man looking for work. MKUmd I'rtu. It I. only when a man begin to dic tate hi letter that be find out how jMHirly he can talk. fWfi. Kvery beginning I difficult, except laziness, which t the beginning of all crime. Flicgnnte llluiUr. "What dlil she do when you sent her those flowers, with your lovef" "Ite turued my lnve.M .V. '. Herald. Th course of true love never run smooth, ud It would not be half the fun if It would. fwiri frt4 hu. ' Bometltue a man I hard-working man and then again sometime he Is only a hanl workiiigman. 7'crr llault Jitinn, It I better for a young man to hara III trousers bag at the knees than to hava hi. brain bag at the ears. oi(uii Tmvdltr. Charles Lamb's humor never .hows a last of blllerues.: bill, then, Charles had a regular lob as bookkeeper to fall back upun. i'i, ' At lh concert "l want to aU you iiietloii," "I Knit Ulk uow; wait until the concert begin. H A'ew Or leans Timtt-Uanocral. ' Wall. I called on ML Hobliett last night and broke the Ice." "How un fortunate when Ice I so hard to re place. "-.V. )'. HeruU. It I not alway proper lo add res the young man behind the soda foun tain as doctor, even though he is a us xlclau. Tultdo UUule. "I saw Chappie last ulgliL lie had a head ou." "You don't say. Was It the same one he usually has or a real bcadf" .V. '. Comntn:iaL The Enumerator (turning back) 'sUn question, more, Mr. lllank." "Well, out with It." "Are you single or baldheadf" JSomrrt'i'ffe Journal. Happiui M never comes when it I ought, ll simply loaf lastly in tha hade. and let people tire themselves out hunting for lt,.Sui rri7c Jour nal. When Richard III. offered to givt his kingdom for a horse he might hara meanl a horse that would win when he bet on him lo the race. I'hilntUljihut Timrt. Mlnitter(to home Jockey) "What 1 your business, may 1 ask?" Horse jockey "1 am In the service of the American Track Society." Motion Mr. Huutlng "1 tee that F.mln alary of fjo.OOO a I'aaha is to have a var." Kuutinir "lou don t tar! What club has be signed with?" 'A liotlonitin, 'Turfeasor, what' the difference, nvhow. between a tlddlean' a violin?" "Zee s.Yiue deefcren sat egxeest be tween xe vceddler o' so violiulst." Uarjer'$ Butar. First Salctladv "tlsv you seen Mollie' new fallow. What doe b look like?" Second 8lelady-"0, be' Just a bargain counter affair, that's all." 7'erre liuuU KiprtH. If people generally would ouly try half as hard to secure health as they do to obtain wealth this would be oue of the healthiest countries on the faca of the earth. .Scranon 2VA. What do you do w ith your flannel after they have begun to shrink?" "I let 'oiu shrink a little more and then nut 'em by to use for pulse-warmer lu whiter.'" VhUadelpKia Timet. Nephow(wllh newspaper) "They're haviug a hard time trying to tettl tha Hungarian Diet question." Aunt Why don't thev give thoin Just plain Mirk and beans?"' liwUm Herald. Mr. Staid "And I Mis Uigglegag lie well educated?" Mr. MoFitd "Educated? I should say so. Why. tha ribbons on her graduating dres alone cost over fiO." lloslon Trantcript, Mr. Jones, hlriug a victoria for a drive In the park "There, wife, we'll put th coachman Inside, and you get up on the box with mo. We'll be a fine a any of the folks." Flitgtndt BlatUr. Probably the lou man has never no ticed the dainty little tong that are furnished with boxc of confectionery. They are neat, Inexpensive, aud would be quite useful In hit business. rJ'twA inyton IVit. Brlggs "Is your olllce boy still pur suing hit duties with the tame feverish avidity he exhibited at the ttart?" llraggs "Not exactly. He la exhibit ing what might be called a spring feverish avidity now." Terra Haute A'xprwj, , Father "Clara, what game was that you were playing when I looked in the parlor last night?" Clara 'Hide and eok." Father "What was the kissing for?'1 Clara "O, that wat tho duty on tho hide." Bos ton Herald. Citlnen "If you know of the ap proach of great storms why don't you stop them before they reach a place?" tten. Ureoly "Stop thorn! Why, that is Impossible." Citiiseu "O, no. All you have to do l to predict them." X Y. Sun. "You shouldu't And fault with uiy temper," mid (he. "When we were married, vou know, you took me for better or lor worse." "I know It," was the reply, "but I had a hope of strik ing something like a general average." H'aoAiMtoH lt)t. Great Editor "I see It stated that I the now electrical chair will not kill. Detail a reporter to try It. If he et- I capes It will make, the "biggest klud of a sensation." City Kditor "But what t (hall 1 do if It does kill? Great Editor "Get a new reporter.'" ..V. Y. Weekly. "I don't think you give yoursolf credit for the merits you really pos sess," tald a young woman to Willie Washington. "I have beeu told that you are quite a hard thluker." "Ya-a-s," "It has struck me that 1 think with a great deal of difficulty." Washington They were dancing a waits together and he did not dare propose openly. "I am not hard to satisfy," he returned In answer to some remark of hers. "I do not want the earth,'.' twinging her energetically, "but I would like to have the whirled." Philadelphia Times, Clerk (at summer hotel) "The lady In No. 16 has been complaining about the chambermaid.": Landlord "If No 16 Isn't satisfied, she better go. The trouble with these city people is they Imagine they come here Just for their own pleasure." Harvard Lampoon. A woman in this State, In filling out a consul blank, put down her husband at a ' aatlo. She told the census numarstor that ha wa at present eo- gigod in paying an election net by pushing a wheelbarrow twenty-fir miles, and the didn't aspect him bom for a woek. Korrtitown Herald. "Why don't you go to workf" tha asked of the tramp. "I am (-working, lady." "At what You (how no tigiit of it." "No matter for that mil in, I'm a-working a a traveler ad vr. for a soap firm. I'm the 'Before Using card, and my pardner aronnd the oorner represent the 'After Uilng end of the combination. Thank you, mum."i'hiUuietphut Time. Jennie "How did you enjoy your telf at theater last night?" Mamie "O, Immentelyt" Jennie "What wa the play?" Mamie "I declare 1 don't know. Let me tee I think I have got a program In my other drets pocket," Mamie "It doe not mailer; but I think it (trange that you ahould go to a theater and not know what th play wa. "Mamie "Why. bleyou, dear, I was with a theater party.-flostox Courier. HUMAN HAIR MARKET. a MiUUm rnad. t hanga frao. B4 ta Mm4 Kwry Kmc rrhap( there la to (Uipl article about which lot 1 known by tba pub lic than human hair a an article of commerce. It will doubtlea turprbw many when It 1 la tod that tha deal er In human hal good do not depend on cbanoa clipping her and there, but that there 1 a regular balr har vest which can alway be relied on. It 1 tald that over 1,000,000 pound of human balr are used annually In tba civilised world for adorning th head of women. In New Yrk City alone over Ave toot of thlt clast of goods are Imported every year. Much of the balr used In thl country cornea from the bead of American women and ia fully a fine In (bade and texture aa the Imported article. There ha bees oma talk recently of forming a tru.t In thl busineu, and If this untoward vent should occur our American women would have to dlspeasa with a considerable portion of their tresie or pay a much higher price for thom. A well-known hair dealer of this city gavo a reporter reoently tome Into routing fact about tha hair buslnest and the touroe from which the beautiful locks are obtained. "Moat of the balr which I ute In my business." he said, "I obtain from la dle in thl city. We had a big har vest during the recent craze for hav ing tha hair cut short Many of tha ladle who had tbelr lock thorn at that time have tlnce bitterly regretted it In many instances the hair grew so tlowly that It became nooettary to wear a wig or twitch as tba fashion changed. After women have reached a certain age the balr teem to par tially lot It vigor, and If cut it will not grow again. Blonde hair teems to be going out and the demand for bleaching preparation 1 not nearly to great a it wa a few year, ago. Not enough human hair can ba pro cured In thl country to supply the home demand and In consequence there 1 a large amount Imported annually, The largest supply of hair come from Switzerland. Germany and tha French province There Is a hu man hair market at Morlans, la the Department of the Lower Pyrenees, held every other Friday, lfundred of trafficking halr-dreser throng to the little place from far and near to buy up the hair of young peasant girl. When a bargain 1 (truck the dealer lay the money in tha open palm of the teller, applies hi (hear and In a minute the luxuriant treue fall on tha floor. Of course, a maiden can rarely see her long braid pas Into the dealer' possession without crying, but she console herself for their lo with the thought that they will grow again, A woman' hair may grow to the length of tlx feet Mm Host, of Paris, refuted five thou tand franc for her rown of glory.' wbloh wa about that length. It haa been proved that a alngla hair will bear up a weight of four ounces with out breaking, but the hair thus heav ily weighed mud be dark brown, for blonde hair break( under a strain ot two and one-half ounces. What won der la It, then, that 'beauty can draw love with a single hair?' There are over five thouaand importer, manu facturer and dealer ot hair In the United States, and they will be repre sented at the World's Fair in 1892." Rochester Post-Ex press. A Presuming Little Girl. "A" little girl, who mada ry fre ouont use of the word ' "guess," was one day reproved for it by her teacher. "Don't say 'guess,' Mary," snidMls Tones; "say 'presume,' " Presently one of Mary's little play mates, coming up to her, remarked: "I think your cape Is very pretty, and my mamma wants your mamma to lend her tha pattern, because she is going to make me one like it" "My mamma haa no pattern," wa the prompt reply; "(he cut it by pre sume." Texaa Sittings. A Unique Time-Piece. A Western jeweler haa Invented a novel time-pleoe. On a steel . wire stretched across hi show window a stuffed canary hops from left to right, Indicating aa It goes the hours of the day by pointing with its beak at a dial (tretched beneath the wire and having the figures from 1 to Si. When it reaches the latter figure it glides acrou the window to 1 again. There U no mechanism that can be seen, all the work being concealed Inside tha bird. Jeweler' Weekly, r How the Kalter Rides. Mr. Yates writes of the recent re view at Aldershot of the British army by th Emperor of Germany! "The Kaiser was extremely Industrious in looking Into the hoart of things, gal loping about from point to point with a recklossnet( which rather discon certed several corpulent officers In at tendance upon him. He himself is rapidly Increasing in weight, and is already quite as heavy a man a wa hit father in hit mature prime. Head long rider as he is, hi teat on horse back it the reverse of good, being the very loose and bucketing sort ot seat that the old sohool of ringmaster used to objurgate as a 'wash-ball eat' There can not be much amiss with hi leftarm, since he holds the relnt In hi left hand, and, without employing" hi.,, right, can pull a hone on hi haunches Iron a gallop."