ILL NYE'S IMPRESSIQN&OF EUROPE.
Hul-Ili'kil mid WurmnUd la Kp la
Any ('llumln.
fiENKHAL KKW8
I'zar or Kussla's (iulil
In Kilwria.
This Space Reserved For
SHELLEY & VANDUYN,
i "Ye," lis uld, "I hava been abroad
, tlil wason. I hid nut ImuIiiIoIv ccr
i tain that 1 wa imt more or los abroad
,' just now. You culled to obtain spool
i iihuih of my futvljjii Impression, of
oourso. If 'there t on thing mm
. than another that 1 particularly pride
myself upon It U my foreign impre
j "loll. 1 olllr selected thJ choicest, and
; have cnrofulfy preserved every out of
i ilium. Any lltllit nmt of n impression
! that Mil V follow OOtlld pll'k tip 1 llillll't
! bother with. Mine are all hand-picked
; hikI warrauled to keen In tiny climate,
j Several of lb crowned head of Europe
J frankly nduilited that they would rata
' r have me ronilng around their throne
i picking tip foreign impression limn
i any other Impecunious lutirlst tlmt hint
i struck them for i Im wherewithal to net
! safely otit of tlu'lr domain lor quite a I John Risk, Jminer
: hhII, Wln ii 1 kicked it specimen out Somerset county, 1',, ha
Mines
TIIH WKHTII llr SAN Flt.lM'IsrilS
Kl'ISI'tll'U, (ill lll'll.
Kiigluud Sinker Jane iMhrriilge'
r'arlmie-lli'vlvul of Ilit Old
Swart af Palciniry.
i The production of llraWan eoffet
; htm beuu doubled within tlit lust ton
year.
Township,
a suckling
MAHKKT REPORT.
EftH and
Diary Produce.
KKKIl, FLOUR, UKAIN AM MIMHKR
WmI, lira Needs, Cltvr , JUwella
rwiMfa. Kte., Kl.
from under Ihe dint of age they were Cult ix mouth old which weigh Hit
: universally utillc.l lluii it would im poiiini.
5 something tlmt would do them crcdlL
, There U more or loss danger in tin
j business, ItOWHWr. Tllll'lle are no
I plenty in Knrope tlmt fellow who In
' practically unacquainted w llh tint
: genginpnv oi mo country is name to 1 1 .i,,!....,,..
; stumble over one 6r more of them In i 1 ; . .
Tim Knirllsh Board of Trade wiwrU
609 tti'lken Utifing m, wilb 88.000
ilflket.
TJi yottnfnt pfflwr In lor nmjty'i
Krvlvo U a miooitd lUtnlmotiit of bxu'oI-
II Imlli il the iplmlla of tho tni p with
itiiHt. ttoou ttfutr ho hitil nt tlit trap
ft huavy ruin wt hi, wliicli i'iiihuhI tli
brook to Hm! o "r tha irrniiiid whnra
tlui trap phuMl. Afmr the wtor i Killing hll'M Of Poultry,
linn mtiiNHiMii uiiit?n inn mi wnui ui luun
H rt.T Ilia Imp and found It wt mill
whttre h hud not it, lint win npnnij.
Thinking Ihitt lit hail cini);litllii tnliik,
Im ritt'tifiilly pi'ckrd In, Imt liifli'inl of
it mink he iiiniitl it trout uUuii fotii'Uiun
IiiuIim loiiif. j
A wiill known Mount t'li'iiii-nln, ,
Mich,, ludy Im Iiim'h liilioiliig undari
tins iiupi'1'w.lou for lli lut I! i it yfin i
tlutt Klin niu ft widow. Hot' liihlmnd :
lifl hir tlutt Iiiiim; tt'o fo litko trip;
n t'si, huh ti nn ri'iMiiuiu nun nn wit j Buttar,
fi'onnm to di'itllt in liitkolit. Wlti'ii tlm ; (i miDii
old (tttttt l.'ttiuti ri'liti'iKHl Ihmiiii ri'i'ont- j Km y rrxiiiiittry
ly nIhi knmv iHitlor, luiiiitf hi l- ('lioun dairy
mmi'tt litt hit Ihioii iiio-I of tint iIiiib lu Common
lllltiidi CoIiiiiiIiIii, M liiuil hit Kliti'kitii tip ! 1'ii'klNl (Cftl,).
hii liiiponltiif pilo of tlm coin of tlm i KtwUirn Bitwiin'ry funt y.,
ri'ttlin. hnl c-v iluiiul Ion hu iiuoId to ! t'ui. fi'xnli roll
hi w iii for liln Iniij; lliun'o U nut pub-1 Cha.
I in piiipoi'ly, lint It iiiuM Iiiiim Immui itt-; Now t'tiliforiilft
IhIucIoi , tut kIim now tippi'iii'n n happy ; (trcgon Hklin ttntl orcmii
ii gritliopp!r ihtiioliij; in Hi tuu- ' Hwinm Ciitwtwi, donif Mtic. , ,
lijjht, j Young Ami'rim Or.,,.,,,
Tlm nirit Mnrkrtiit Iiiioknow. j e'
s ........ T;rrr, " V
r v
EXPER1EKCED COOHTY CAKYASERS
To tnk mrm when they ltv timlrr.
Uken the lr nf ,
DAIRY PRODUCE,
i'Di
HUilU
lHWi'i
V, to 111
14
Urn durk mid Int'iik hi tii'i k tuiiMt ny
iitltiuiu. On tii ui ot't'itxlon 1 imr-1
rowlv PHl'lllHul Kl'ttlll into lliolt( ,
A(iild tvlllt iHUlnolix thirty fent
nd It U well known n hut hIi'iiiiii iditii
Hit live lltllMolK IlKVO of tint V III IK' (if
lilril fltli. lloili tint th'-li mid the
FLOUR.
I'ortlHiul 1'itl, Koll.T, p. hlil,
Kil1i.hi do do
utmrrow. emie. i .... ....
i..u.. .1 1 ... . . i'nywii u im
W illi for twrtiilil ilin'itw; o ft ; (1,i.v Rmndii
lire mlllilii Nli'finl liv ri' oi'li'il millioa
; to the oliji'ol of Ihidr Bdornllnii, ()u
1 Hid ollmr Imnd, tlm Mood or the fleh
i of an owl ! Kiippiiaml to iniika a Hnum
( iimitiie who di lnk or put it. On ihlt
l ftot'tiiitit iiu'ii who ate diviniriil hy
i ji'Hlomy of rival or liuirnd of an
Biminy 01111111 fui ilvtdy to tint minim,
, lonjr ivoi'iiily wfthwd tuhore ou the i Imiliot of the tiommoii
co tut of ftlayo.
1 tiiiul.lti thitiiiLfh Htiitllhi? a Ilit'itluMfl I A Nni'th AinliUnn wrut.i.n iwitMt.iiMtl
j hem-illoliwt Kiiropfiiit ihrono Into my wvnn (.kinikn lu two wi-ekit and attuttd- ! '"' ' f'tmlllur fhiiln-ri'M I tunnr j Mi'Miniivilln
1 trutHHtra poi-Mti tttiunr til tinprnsiiloit : ea to iter tliiiitmtiio uilllti IwnliUw. iiiimik hi tun omi koi. 1 ortiiiit Kcii' ; Hni wrtlti
I ''litt It wa iiatn ininiiwii'ii. M.vt.rl ,t , mm ,,,,t Itlirlilire of t " 111 ,"",K1"Jf '"v' t"in. , Wfii
j 01 tii . mat provti..., . tor tita toe, ; KinKstoti, JaiimU., hit rttfiwd tltirly
wr no tl.U'kly "ludiUul with itil. , Weu 0, um,.,., bu n
! Imml-piiliitmi thioiiM tlmt I cottld not yoo.oou and la u orphan. '
j avoid tint liupinsniuM tlllll HlH polMpi'lV i ,, . , ... . . ...
live looked like ft l.tmkwlmut uuld in ! il",rT ,'vf',l ' I" Wor.
Ifuli bloom. 1 iravoled for wwk ' ""itlilre i plw-t of proporiy ou
i through CoutlnMiiiul K.trop without ; ,," J.7U yttar vt to rttu.
I mrtkliijf limn witoitt 1 iimvii lo ail 'vvv i""'" 4U'""
7ft
7S
i n into i,uy,
(irahum , , , .
ltyt Klottr. , ,
FEED.
Hi an r ton. . ,
Hay " " buli'd
tir'd Harhy, mt ton ,,
ci oft
-.
4 .VI
idiiNi by 11 title Ion tli, hi kltttf or ' One F.pioopal Ciuirvh In S;ui Finn-; and pnroliatlu tin owl, lit nilonoe
....t '11.. j, t u 1.. . nlanv U ..l.l ... ,.f ) f,ul..W If I M......u,,l. I
Mill CI1011 i-r ton.
(til I'ako Meal in-r ton
Me ftntl Jim."
- Half iloxen of ti stood af tlio tloet
of the Erie pan.tttt.Kor depot in Htitfulo,
when we aaw tramp Writit; down
upon u. There wait coiiililnrtilile
comment on hi look, and mime
frtiitir a to what exoirte he would
uiye, and as he came up one of the
boy Mid:
Come, now, but you want to pet on
to Cleveland to ae your wife din, dou't
jour
"Aht I recosnlxd him at a jfUnw!"
added a neootuT. "Ho U the imiu with
the oisiiled liver. "
"No he isn'L" put In a third. "He
I the man who never recovered from
the Chicago tire."
The tramp looked from one to the
other with very nerioiu fuce, and wlinti
the lanh had died away he aitid:
Geutleinen you are all on". If you
hare Uve mintitVa to epare please come
with me."
We followed him through the deiot
and ont Into the yank and there on a
platform was something covered with
a tarpaulin, lie raited this, and we
saw the crushed and mangled retnaius
of man.
My partner, Jim," lie explained.
"We're traveled lojiether for many
rear, me and Jim, but this is the end.
' Ve came In on the bumpers lust nlht,
ami he got a full under the wheels
down here in the yards."
8ay, we didn't mean to hurt your
' feelings, " replied one of the hnv.
"Oh, of course not. loor old Jim!
Poor, rajjod, and Ignorant, but true
as steel, and he uever done no nutn
harm. Cents, I'm a tramp, hut no
beggar. I don't want any help, but if
you feel like chipping in a bit for poor
old Jim I'll get him a white shirt lo lie
buried in, have a bsrlier shave hit face,
nd when the coroner orders him olf
to pauper's field I'll throw a few llowers
into the pine box to titke the chin olf."
And may hup the poor old irnuip in
bis pauwr's colli 11 sleeps the better for
what we gave. A'. 1". Una.
Story of the Granil Duke Alexia.
A writer In the Puris Fiiuro girel
numerous details regurdiug the private
life of several princes, among which
the following story of the Crunk Duke
Alexis of Russia is particulurl v piiptunt:
The Graud Duke, who isuu Admiral
in the Russian nary and bus a great
influence over his brother, the Czur, ut
one titnecreuled as great coiisternulion
in the imperial house of liussiu us tlmt
of which the Archduke John hus re
cently been the cause in the Aiistriuu
Court, but by another method ait af
fair of the heart.
The , young Empress Marie, his
mother, had with tier as a inuid of
honor the daughter of the poet Joukow
ski, in whom she took especial interest.
One evening when the young girl was"
lone with her sovereign - slie fell in
lean at her feet and ennfoed that
he was loved by the Craud Duke'
Alexis, that she shared his passion, and
begged her Consent to their union.
Imagine the Empress's suriirise.
The imperiul answer was the inline-
prince. The slump of nobility was lu 1 ewco I stilil lo have ft niemlierxhlp of
I tome cases a tritle mm cracked, but It f irf.omi.utsi, and yet tli missionary
j was always there. Sometime this i fund of the diocese is iu dulit nearly
: stump was la Hie form of ft ru tiled , "W0
j shirt of it pro-Adamite vintage Hint 1 A New York man pniNes to revive
1 cried aloud for tin. cutvsstiig touch of m.,M,t ,,,,,,-t 0f fN,ury Mt hi,
! a Chinosw htuiulrviimtl, ami sometimes eotiulry .out in New Jersey, and ha
H iu the form of a vbtssie fool encased In j,e to Kiiriitie lo procure the bird
, a tarnished spur nod a and memory of ml truiiicr.
I lliw pnt nut 11 wits alwuj there.
STATISTICS OF OLD ACE.
Aa Auttljrsls at Kelurm KmimmiIIhs; Klflj
i'w KuatUH tnluiruuv
Hill,' auid one of those sud-eved
1 little l.crii.uu olciitales to me one duv
; as we ti idly III the sun oil a liein li
oiilshlit of the concierge-1 think It
; whs thiU'oiiciargo-within sound of the
restless sou; 'Hill, were wu ever
King?
i wns taken hy surprise, Imt as I
. gu.m! down ut the or lellow my soul
i went out iu pity, and I doloriuiiied lo
Kite hint a citil uiiswer if it look a
lea.
'I itiny huve been a king for a short
I A tramp eonrtned In the Lancaster
(l'u.)Jail eillertaiui'd the Sllenduiils
1 and policemen with lutes of adventure
curry 11 noma secretly anil prepure ft
! decoction which an accomplice will
; put into the food or drink of the
i vhfeut of their hiitligimot design.
! I'lii! list of uses for bird llosh I not
j exlmtnled yet. Kuilug crow Is sup.
' iioski' Id prolong jfu ,y keeping the
; liulr black and preventing It from torn
' lug irriiv. The iHiiiimon ntller. often
f culled a hlueluy. has certain rile iter- i Navels
formed over It, and Istliensel free after j Malta Itloud
j one fivtther hit Iwen plucked from It. Iears wr Iwi. ..
1 ins irauier is i unii worn a j ainuiet, 1 .'" r
111 . .
.... ir.(l7tHI
, .. I law 20 Ail
, . .ttci ;iu tni
..... on
. .ijTMim.ai 00
Wlmrta ier ton II'WIIH tHI
FRESH FRUITa.
Apples
Katisiias, i. tuiiicli. ....... . '.'Mliiit Oil
Cherries I 00(4 1 tlTi
lemons, t'al. p, bx .'A 7 .'us 4 ','U
do hn ily, p. bx. nc . . tl 2,
I. lines per bun
Or. t Manxes, Kivemides
Needless ,,
nrtlS STMIOD STOCK BOOK
"P . w in nTriiRlMO TERRITORY,
Finest Book on Earth for the Former, Stockman and Blacksmith
LARGEST PROFITS I
SansomcSt.. San Franoiwo.Qal.
and re
turn lu
0 with
to cents ml nsive Urn aamolee tbal
will make yon more money in wevk
than nytliin ever ofTereil. Monietliiiiu
new, durable am! profluble, Kend ai
once to NonTilwiatttliJi htim,ir Co., No.
m J-'irst Hlret-t, Portland, Oregon.
1 ,1 . 1 , .. , ' '" ..-..iin'i is . null n 1. 11 as silliliri, i-.-.-",-.
a id ttavel. He had almost walked ,l Is supposed to have gn at potency j I"'"-
Irof. Murray Jlumphry has Just
'brought together a remarkable book on
Old Age.' sny the Ml Mull (.untie.
It ia based upon the results of nn In
quirt eotttlucted liv the collective in
vestigation committee of the HrilMi
Medical assiHtlulloit.
fii a iiortion of it the annlvsl of the
returns resneetlmrfta centeiiiiiinn aiw tiimt la-foro airlvlng ut vents of ills.
given; of Ihese 1H were males and M cretiou,' 1 said klltdlv, 'but 110 one eter
females. Kleveu of Ihese were singe accused mu of It. lu my country ;
(10 lieing females). & were married, lhce youthful liuliscreiii.us do tiol
and 36 were widowed. Out of 60 re- 'i"k lo a man a they do here iu (ietv j
turn 8 only were In allltieiit olivi niany. A man may be a Mug for a
antuu.l the world. i In n., n. ... it ... i Primes tier box
Tint Comte de Pari will snemt the : I'ose for which birds are tmrchnsed ever Watermelons yd..,.
reiiluillder of Ills duv III KllL'lalid. The 1 morn illir U to be sot free ul'uIii. This ! f
1 ro
4 on
4 ,VIm4 75
0 2f
a 00
None,
do
do
do
do
11(97
WIT AND 1IUM0K.
A nickel In the hand I worth two la
tlteloL Time.
It discourages A votinjr ntustiiche to
tte sailed down. PilMurg Clu-MicU.
"The laloon." ha eolemnly drawled.
"I the house that Jagjf built," Uuff'Uo
Couritr. , ? I '
Many ft youthful scion of wealth l
th)iendeut on pupa labor. IHuylutiitton
Herald. ; ': '
Lot'i wife was turned Into a pillar of
alt because she wsl low too fresn.
buinervillt Juurml,
It Ii with love with soup the first
helping i nlway too hot uud the lust
too oold. Jwlgt, .
How we dniire the man who hap
pen to caloh it when we are doing ft
good deal on the ale. Akhinon Ulvt.
Never kick a man when he I down.
It' a waste of energy. io for the
man who Is climbing above yoti.
tfrittuleljhia Iiujuirrr. ' " '
Canvasser "I have here work rttat
goe off like hot cake Lady of
: tne House "I'lease let, me iee n s
tt.nMutueg,$ Wttklg. ,. )
Dentist "Do you want to take laugh
1 InL'-iraaP" Visitor "Not till after da
CUT THIS OUT
Mnuacturrt ef-
fool
mo
1
PADDING CEMENT ETC.
Roller Casting a Specialty.
1107 Fourth St, Kast I'orUand. Oi.
BISHOP SCOTT
ACADEMY.
loot is out, boss reckon I'll
; OL. I....l.ll f....L
i Inthe..nctuaryftll men are equal. ?'"1 , P'pa'aory and
j. In the contribution box the punched j Aradenuc,
quarter jingle as loudly a the proud-1
5 est coin. Biii'jUtimlon Leader. I , .
I It I a cold, clntnmy thing to sar, but I jfur r,rniiiloii n.t iiato(iir
f those eople who trout friemlship the ; . mt,trrM .
; same way aa any oilier ulltslities get
, most out of it Atishtion (Jivht.
vtauces, '.'H were comfortable, and 19
poor; of these B were fat (H Iwing fe
males), 20 were spare, and lKof average
conditiiiu. Tweuly-llve were erect iu
ligure and 'i were'benl.
Out of .l.'i returns '.'ft used glasses, 7
did not; out of these 4 were poor, fl hud
: used glasses for 40 lo AO years, A for .'Ml
lo 36, 4 for 10 to 20, 2 fr 4 lo 6 years,
6 for 'many veal's," 2 for a few years.
From among these 1 had used Sjieela
vies for many years, but fur the lut 12
year had licen nliln lo read w ithout
them; another hud not Used them for
12 years, another '"not for many years,"
but I cuit not now gel I Im iu strong
enough.
Out of 47 return 40 had a good di
gestion. Out of 4S. Sfi had good nppetlles, 2
bad, and ten moderate. Of 47, 2i were
moderate eaters. 'I -mull, ami 12 Imi l'o.
In regard to ale. h d, !.' look none. 24 ap tour thioiiMill for
a little, n were tno.iorales, ami 1 was
used to a good ileal of beer. Of ani
mal food 3 took none, 111 moderate, 25
little, 2 very litt In, mid t much. Of
aperioiils, 22 took them lately, 14
never, and 6 frequently.
Out of 39, 26 could 'say that their
memory was good. 6 bud,' nod 7 moder
ate. Of 4A, 7 smoked much (4 being
women), 2 Utile (one a woman), i)
moderately (one a woman.)
Out of 40, 37 did not take snnlT. As
lo sleep out of 40, 32 were good sleep
ers, 6 bad and 7 moderate.
From 3."i returns the average time of
going lo bed was !l o'clock; but t re
tires ut 12, and 1 at 1 1, It ut 7; 7 are
bedridden The aternge time of rl-'mg
w us about H o'clock, hut 6 rose at U
o'clock, 1 uli), Slat 10, 1 ul II. uud 1 at
4 p. m.
Out of 42 returns 25 hud no teeth,
ami from 28 returns but 4 had artiliclul
teeth: yet in men 11I1011I Ml) the uveruge
niimlHtr of Icclh is only 6 uud iu
women 3.
lime uud tlictt repent his folly, and
America is lull of hands thai w ill he
Middled out lo help the poor fellow
to reloiiu mid rise in the world.'
O! that this were America,' ha
said, with teals In Ills voice, 'Hilt,
may you never know the misery, the
heart hungering, of being a Conn. 111
King without a subject. It was not A tuoniiiiieiit lo Victor .Voir, the
ever thus, however. 1 hud a subject voting man w ho wu killed iu 1H70 by
once, but he was very sickly, and. a l'ritice Pierre Itouaparle, bus lieeii
few years ago, he died, leaving me ; completed by the sculptor Daloil, for ft
alone in tlm world. Wnce then 1 hate ,' comiiiltiee, which intend to erect it in
waiclicil iii vain for a mini to lake his ; some part of Paris,
Count hud a touch of gout of hue. For
a lime he Is more intmusted iu his toe
than his itinnltestoes,
Hen HilHerworth, Congressman from
Cincinnati, hits determined to ubundon
oolitic entirely. II thus built up
luige law practice iii Washington, and
will settle there permanently.
One hundred uud siMy-seven bears
huve been killed In .M.1I1111 during the
yenr. The stale has paid out juvl.'i, or
fa Hr head bounty. Over !,jwiU
be paid as lummy for killing crows.
Itoswcll lleatilsler of Sorlh Lansing,
Tompkins county, N, V., bus ilisiriluit
ed until lo Hie people of tluit village for
sivty-tour year, having held tin- ollice
ol rostmaster under
U Presidents.
HtNrtllt)
I AO
TsKuM
1 '.liitl 2."
Is done bv Hindus us "a win k of mxriL 1 CHAIN.
and bv Mohammedan, after certuio ? Hai ley, whole, p. ill...,
rites have I wen performed, as 0 , Com, per 100 list. . ..
atonement In lioilitlioti of the Jewish !. Kood, p. Im.. ... ..
Mo..iiii.,finii. tils ........ itl 11...1 u i.i.-.i ! Rye, p. HM lb nominal,
used for this pttrposti a'.ould be strong i tt '.,) alley, . HM Ha. . I SO I W! f
enough lo lly away, but that doe not ) ,,u Ku,r" ra 1 U,(' '-
IiiiIiich the einel ileulor In feed l ha i POULTRY.
bird or lo refrain from dlsliK-ulliig j 'liicken. large youn V ds.,1 (Hlis;i.V)
tueir wings or iireakiiit; itmir legs.
i They put down everything lo good or
had luck, and leave the customer lo
choose a strong bird if he cait Uud one,
: ami to pi aw uy if he cannot,
, The tuoril obtniued by netting ft bird
I free is not attributed to the IMty, but
Is supposed to come lit a large inous-
' ttre trout the bird Itself or from lis at-
uinelceu success, i touduiil spirit, and lumen bird of good
i or nun omen, ami eM.elully kites and
crows, are In much domniid, and are
; regularly caught to be sold fur llii
I purpose. t'Mitrer.
place. 1 hate lueii unable to Ii ml any
licighluit ing King with two hence
none c.iiiM lie spaieil. O, Hill, I am
o lonely so dosolale!'
"1 was much allccted.
'ja.' 4 saidAjax Againeniiinn
was his family nanie- i mu orry Inr
toil. Hut tell 1110, did you ever try lu
a clean shirt
mid a decent luir of hoots? .strike
Mime iu. 111 who runs a mii-eum uud
you in n v be utile lo strike 11 bargain
wlHi him. Then you might go ou
somen heiM where you uru not known
nil try to lead nobler and Is'tter '
"The next moment I was alone with
the sound of the resiles wave, Ajax
had folded bis rovnl rage ulnutt hiiu
and left me lo my fuie!"
"Had you any special object lit visit
ing KiirsijnP' Mr.-Nte was asked.
"Several of thcni,1' was the reply,
"t was especially anxious to intesil
gate the deseoiit of the foreign tmhllily
which has become so cMet.slvely our
son-in-law of lule. Our sweetest and
most decollele girls ute going from us
so tiiiiltiludiiioiisly nowadays that I iir
rived at the conclusion thai something
ought lo be done nhniil It. As I lie ca
reer of these tilled foreign gentlemen
Is almost all descent I fell Ihut tracing
il would purtuke of the nature of u lo-
luiggnn slide, uud thereforo he easy of
The (Vur of Russia receive front hit
; gold mines In Kusiern Siberia about
; ii.lkw pound of pure void every year.
I As he has recently dv .'eloped a great ,',".'
1 fondness foe the A'mei'lcnii iritiiim of '
draw (inker, it is about lime for him to
: "grub-auke" soiun pios-cloisfor new
pincers.
Joint MeCloskey, of San Antonio,
; Texas, bus been mouriieil as dead for
, uinu yeuis. The oilier night a lienriled
si ranger itipeared at the home of Mr.
MeCloskey. She became very ludig
uaul w hen he look her in his anus. It
w as her Inisbaml. lie had Ih'cii in Hie
West and made, a groat ileal of money.
Situated 011 the farm of
SUBSTANTIAL HANDSHAKINGS.
A I'rourtiff's V srUttlrenoisi PUr aa Knjof.
slits IJtll J.ik 110 lllm.
Uf...llllll,l idllitll.ltt I U'.ld (II,.,.
In 12 returns the average age when pointed in the result. Out of several
married among the males was 23 mid thousand Dukes, Karls. Huron. Counts,
the females 2,; the average number of ' ..,1 ,i.P ,.u ,.,,!. 1 r.,..
Nil Iii.I'm
children Is,
6-7.
from the returns
received,
STORIES T0L0 ABOUT SHEEP.
YVlmt Usui (if Two liiimls Ttmt Persisted
III .'Fiiltnwlllx; tin l.uilnr."
Several "sheep men" from the Inland
Empire were gallioreil around . the
diata escort of the maid of honor to the : "t,,,,ll.H.of.t 'B m-H.'ulJr '
other side of the frontier, to the home
of her relative in a foreign country,
and an order to the Craud Duke to re
join the Russian licet in the Bailie.
Hut the august master of Russia
did not realize with whom Ihcy were
dealing. The Crunk Duke escaped
from his vessel, joined the maid of
honor iu her exile, took her away with
out ceremony, and currying her to
America there married her secretly.
1 pa over the disgraces, the vicissi
tudes, the phase of all sorts that fol
lowed this exploit. Royal love are
like tire of straw; thev are as quickly
extinquished a kinifled. The day
came when the Grand Duke, under the
influence of his mother, completly sub
mitted to the Emperor Alexander II,
and reentered the fold.
The secrecy of his union and the
conditions under which it had been
contracted made it null in law. Time
dried the tear of the heroine, and she
mail lent . uiiai. Kuiibiniiitu, jjaioil i , t . i
Coohnnan, and livei iu retirement In I ."' '"! J'"1 "
'l'l...lr nnl ..l.il.l o. .!.... . i "" ".seo im viuis,, in
large income, and bears the title of
Marquis de Segiana, coufurred upon
him by an obliging Chaucullor.
cussing the prospects for million this
; wiulcr and ut lust they got, to telling
j stories about sheep, say s the Portland
j Ureijoitimt.
One told iilinnt the captain of
j schooner who hail a hand of sheep oil
, the deck of his vessel. As he was turn- '
ing and twisting the wheel to keep the ;
j schooner on her course, the old In in
I who headed the Hock, Inking umbrage
: ut his motions, came up behind him .
und ut one full swoop bulled him over!
! the wheel. The enraged captain seized :
: his woolly assailant and threw him over- j
I board, when, presto! tiwuy went the j
1 whole Hock, popping over liin rail, one 1
after another, into the sea. Heats
j wwe lowered, and with much labor a
; porlion of the Hock wits saved. j
I Another told a slory which lllus-i
llap half a dozen lo w hom I would
he willing to marry the dining
room girl who alway s brings me it lnt
summer' egg for 'breakfast, but not
one whom 1 would he willing to lake
into the bosom of my family and make
a side-show of. Hut this sort of thing
will doubtless go on just for all the
world a though 1 hud never been
abroad. A martyr in a good cause is
seldom appreciated until he lias been
dead for several centuries. Iktrmt
free Vim.
Ilittlly FrlKliieneil Horse.
A Brain-Hacking Hituallon.
Did you ever have three clock In
your house, all running on (liflcreut
linief If you want to have a block of
five and a lifteon-pu..le on your bund
day and night, week iu and week out,
try the three clocks.
"I'm sorry, mum," said the servant
girl of a lady who had three clocks, no
two of them keeping the same time,
"Ten sorry, mum, but 1 will huve lo
give you a week' warning."
"What's the matter, Mary? Isn't
the work light and don't you get good
payP" inquired the lady.
"Yea, mum," sobbed the girl, "but
those three clocks of yours give me the
headache. I'm always ahead aud al
ways behind at the same time. I get
up too early iu the morning and stay
lu bed too long at the same time. It's
dreadful. I discovered last night that
the three clocks were chasing me all
around the house, trying lo Itlll me.
I'm sorry, mum, but I'll huve to go."
The trouble was onky compromised
by the lady running tne three clocks
on the same time and presenting the
jirl a gold watch to run ou whatever
time uited her best.
li'aleil the same fiillotv-my-lcuder trait
iu the character of sheep," At a port on
the Hound one evening just after the
dock hands had got all the freight
stowed iiwuv there C111110 down WW
All hands
doliiv mill
t rouble connected with shipping them,
but llnully it pen was luailo of hurdles
between decks and a gangway rigged,
ami in the dusk all was ready to take
the sheep on hoard and they were
started down the gangway. Tim llrst
one, as no struck tne ilccn, saw un
I had the opiiorlitultv of obscrvintr
the ellect on 11 burse when ridden near
a mountain lion, says a" writer iu
Chainliere' Mmjiuint. j
It whs lute one night In autumn. l'
was riding along a lonely inouiilnin !
road, ami w hen only about two miles
from the lowu or milling camp I heard I
the cry of the mountain lion,
My horse at once showed fear and
reliised lo move forward. Ills trem
bling was bo intense that he fairly
shook me in the saddle. To whip mill
spur lie paid no attention. .
Indeed it wits only by the strongest
effort that I could prevent him from
turning and hulling In the direction we
had comu from. A crushing iu the
brush a short distance in advance of uie
j increased the horse's fear and restivu-
ties to such an extent us itlmost to nn
j Wrse mu.
I We both know full well what that
j crashing niimiil, but I also was well
j Halisliuil that the boast would not
I trouble us because I knew that only a
j short distance across the hill was a
! U 1...... 1. 11..... r 1 ,1...
ouiiiiiii;i nuns,, nil inoi l lililgeu uiu
opening In the other side of the boat I 'f''t mountains whs .journeying.
across w hicli a hurdle had been placed.
i JiiNteud of going along lo the corral
; prepared this sheep made 11 running
'jump, cleared the hurille ami landed iu
, the salt chuck alongside. Every 0110
of the baud follownl suit ami iu a short
; time 600 sheep were struggling in the
witter. The cupliiiii, having seen the
i lust one go down the plank, yelled out,
; "All right down HmruP" An answer
came back, "All right, sir; send 'em
down." "Send 'em down," roared the
.captain; "haven't you the sheep down
I there!"' "Not a sheep, sir," was the
j reply, and Investigation showed that
I there was not a sheen 011 the boat. The
j captain could not delay any longer
and so steamed away, and only a
small number of the sheep ever gut
ashore.
Although quite a cold night, I found
my horso swcnliiig as freely because of
his fright us if 1 had ridden on a dead
run for miles.
A. Caldwell damsel refused to be a
Mindiilutu for a hut at a church fair in
shut city because her opponent was a
lervaut girl. Society iu Caldwell is,
ividently crystallizing. Kumut City,
The Lash In Germany.
The lush has never been abolished as
a means of discipline in penal institu
tion of Germany., (ieuernlly they use
thong twenty Inches long, fastened
to a handle a yard long. Tim lush is
thickest at the end. The thickness
varies according to the provinces. Hut
the smallest lushes are two inches
thick. Onlv in Saxony ateTtre 'dimen
sions fixed by law, the handle , there
being thirty-nine Inches long, ami the
lash thirty-six inches. The maximum
number of blows is left to the judg
ment of the prison directors, but it
must not exceed twenty-live iu Meck
lenburg and Oldenburg, thirty ia
Saxony, and sixty iu Prussia.
The stiimp-wlmluw of any post-oflio
lift toll of Lick obsui'vutory,
5 lu the town of ruvelte, Ale, are two
' living springs only a few rods upui t,
but ou opposite slopes of a wuter-shed.
Rills running iu dill'ereul direction
from these respective springs tra versa
; each a dl-taiK'n of more than than lifty
lulles , Is'loro' ihey llnully reach the
. same destination.
Princess Christian, the secon I ami
most popular daughter of (juoou Vlo
i toriit, is 011 the et e of entirely losing
her sight. She has been siillering from
au allccliou of the eyes similar to that
which afllicled her greatgrandfather,
King (jeorgo HI, of England, and also
her lirst cousin, the late King of Han
over, both of whom were totally blind
during the last forty your of their
illve.
There Is n curiosity among the Fair
mont, Morgunlown & Pittsburg Rail
. iiiud, about six miles above town,
I worth noticing, suvs the Morgatitown,
: Pa., i'oat. Two sycamore trees, stand
lug about ten feel apart, ure Joined to
gether by a limb llfleen Inches In diam
eter, ami it's dollars to doughnuts
i which tree it started lo grow from,
j They are the only Siamese tw ins in this
j vicinity. . ..
I Joel Hurlotv, the iiitlhor uud patriot,
jjWho died In IH12 w hihi nil hi wuy to
, meet Napoleon iu Franca" lo get the
j hitler's signal ure for a treaty of com
j tiie.ee with Ibis country, Is burled in
I Poland. 'The Historical Society of
j Connecticut, his native Slate, Im do
I ciiled to meinorialle Congress lo re
move the remains to Putnam, Conn.,
and give them u rusting place in the
Stale Pink that is now being laid out.
It is sometimes said 1 lint t he brunches
of very old trees ure, properly speak- ;
lug, roots, and that If planted upside j
down the trees would Uimrlsh. llerr
Kny, a German botanist, ha recently
investigated the matter hy planting
vines uud ivy with both ends In the
ground, and subsequently culling them
at the arch. The experiments were
fulriy successful, though not In every
instance, and lierr Kuy Intend to
continue them with other phinls and
trees, such as willows, poplars, and
roses.
There are ninny people alive yet
who want something for nothing.
About lifty of them live In Sioux City.
A mint named R. A. Hears, of Minnea
polis, sent out oilers to give throe
pieces of elegantly upholstered parlor
furniture a an advertisement to all
who would oud iK) cents to pay box
lug. ...Mavly sent the money und got
three cute little .iron toys with plush
sent and pretty Unish. ' Thereeiplenls
were surprised', and yet cannot claim
that thoy were badly swindled, fortlmy
got all they ptild for.
The Comte d'Eu is so unpopular that
In a tour through North ltra.il he was
hissed in the seaports. What most ren
dered him unpopular was his having
gone into a speculation which made
him a slum landlord. He had gome
ground near Kio which wits likely to
sell if .held over for a groat prion.
Meanwhile he arranged to build on it
quite a town of hovels for the negro
wharfingers and other colored work
ing folks, who were pushed out Into
the suburbs by town Improvements,
Rackreiits wore asked, aim the Count's
agent was a hard man, who took the
law of non-paying tenants.
A young man in Bowdolnlmm, Me.,
recently sot a box trap beside a brook
for the purpose of catching a mink h
had seeu iu the vicinity many times,
It was year since. In the Ozark
region, where I wa riding a circuit.
saw a minister enjoy a most ,
.,,l..l...,lt..l l....,.l-l.,.L l ...... !
! In the Wofce-Aroi'rwf. Shaking hand j
j wa hi peculiarity. He hellnveiiu the .
i Hileucy of a cordial erusp to win men i
) lo the church, and though successful in j
1 winning soul he wa very unfortunate 1
in the mutter of getting dollar, in j
j fact N)vnrtv aouiimmlly slarod him in ;
' the face, tie owned a little farm and i
t mortgaged it a long a it would yield j
: a dollar, The mortgage were falling
due, but there was no prospect of pay- ;
M'oit est, j ing them. Hut it 1II1I not Dottier hun a
do broiler
! do old
i Duck V do
Goose, young V d
' Turkey, youn, lb . .
SEEDS.!
Oraa Bead.
, Timothy ,
i Orchard Grass
Red Top
! Itlue Grm
. Knulish Uye Grass
j Italian do
Australian do
: Mcsquite
! Millet
I 1 1 unitarian do
! Mixed Un Grusa
j Clover Seed. a
j Red Clover
: While Clover....,'
lvske Clover
4 'slimA iki
4 U0i 4"0
. A AOmiI ") I
H UtKUtl 01
1(4
lb
tlMIIV
llwli'
. UVitH's,' : ct.
1 ,.. t j i.,i
. , -1
7,(l
. U'vUtll
7'WM
IM' 10
fl(
f)(H
I:' (it A
, HV'II
1,'ndi;
Kim 17
10m II
Miscellaneous.
Canary "
Flax
Hemp ,
Rape
Pies enough have been made In New
England this fall to supply all the rail
way car iu the United Stale with
wheel for twenty yeun.twitervWt
Jvurnut.
A boost once In a while during life is
worth all the oratorical soft soup that
has been spread over the grave since
Adam turned up his toe. I'kilaiU liJtia
Inquirtr. , ' .
He "I see ,tl.at another American
heiress Is about lo marry a Huron."
She "What kind of a Huron?" lie
"Barren of cash, of course." Xorri.
tuuin UeraUl. i. ,
Mrs. Van Jones "George, I think,
It i awful, vour going out bet w ecu
Mr. un June "Not half so
bad, dear, a coming in between
drliika" jf'ime. -
If spectacles could be fitted ' to men
whose minds are short-sighted there
would be less poverty, aud possibly
not o much crime. In the .world.
UwUrn 'ihuucripl. '
Politician "Were yon ever 'tfp for
any thing ' out West?" 'Reluriied,
Hoomer "O, ves; 1 'twas up twice."'
Politician yWhut for?". -.Returned;
Uoomur "Ilorso-sleuliug and arson."
-Lift. ' '-- " - '' .:"
A man discovert more virtues til' his
l ... I 1.1 1 111 1 : rs ' ' I
1 j. w. nin.. rnnnpai, j
I lirswer 17 - - I omii.asii. -k
ft
Su
itor i a check for a front seat,"
I'dUtiurg Uutktm.
Gertrude (slinking of Beatrice's
"Hance"') "WhiU will Jack do now
tiiat he has Inherited nil this monov!1"
Beatrice "O, 1 shall just make him
give up all business ami aud live like
a .gentleman, you know." Gcrtnide
(quietly) "It will be a great change
for him." IltuUon liwiyrl. ' '
He "I got a letter from Cousin Tom
today. . lie say he is engaged to Jlol
lie Jeliuiugs, Of course, he paint his
future bride in glowing colors aud nil
that sort of thing." See "So far' aa
lhaljs concerned, Mollie is pretty ex
pert at painting herself in glowing
colors." Terrt liault Hxjuy.'
"They say.' remarked the home mis
sionary from Dakoia."' that the brake
men On the New York elevated rail
road are the rudest and most impolite
men in' the world. "Yes," said the
resident jmrsou with a sigh, "1 Iwlleva
tWy are? but you) wmihlu t wonder at
il if you saw the passengers they -ana
thrown in contact Mi.'JJni-Utl.
.Sunday-School Teacher "Who Was
ft that went down to Jericho and fell
it Hi.,11 tiiNvuters iiioro vintiws 111 nis 1 . ten
1 2 1 ! wife before be is married aud' after1 be 1 alnoiig primes?' Smart Pupil "Yott
. Is ilitiii'iu.,1 tin.!. i, n.'.p did in tl,. i-cau't oluv iu teacher.- You
ii'ji 1 interim belwuen these two period ia i -to.W.i "ul' Mow and then
3Va4'
LUMBER -ROUGH AND DRESSED
Roiis-h .... Per M tliloO
Kdued
jT. G. Sheatbiua- ,
No. 2 flooring
No. 2 ceiling
j No. 2 rustic
Clear ninxh
Clear P. 4S
j No. I flooring
i No. 1 ceiling , . ,
No. 8 rustic
stepping
'Over 12 Inches wide (extra)
L"iiglbs 40 to All '
I enghls OA " .
14 Ulh
i I1, Utl.
1 biligles, cedar, per 10(10 ...
iwi cedar, V 'OilO ,4Atmiit.VltM)
. WOOL.
' Eastern Oreaon.
Accoriling to shrinkage.
Valley.
iifl com in tut! iiiiiii tit too nisi man, ..juj. ,,1).,
d when the hand wa withdrawn It , i',n,,im
ick to III own. "That Is the most! .1 i ''. il'';.' i t'lV'
l.iunU and fall
VEGETABLES I Frh. I
Spinach
bit. He shook bauds more heartily
than ever. ,
"I huve unbounded faith In hand
shaking lo bring every thingout right."
j he oflcii said, until hi penchant came
j lo bo the talk of the town. At last
; came the day when the mortgage must
be foreclosed that would deprive him
' of the little home that sheltered hi
. family.
On'tlie eve of that day a knock at the
; door of his house, which was a little
way from lowu, called him. When be
' opened the door a whole crowd rushed
: in, and, without saying a word, com
. meiiced shaking bauds. He felt some-
, thing cold iu the palm of the lirst man,
: am
' stuck
substantial shake I ever experienced,"
he said, as he held up a $A gold piece.
I 11... II... ...... ....... u. ......... I O...I
; IM.I. .1113 II,', III.... C.,,'1'1',:'. III. I.M.. M .p ,
: silver dollar was left in the preacher's T , ' ' , . ' "
;,,lm. No one would tar a word in" "
explunaliun, but pi'essed In on him aa j vm v h ' "".'
.fast us lie could slick the melal ami ,,,,(H yp,
I hills Into his pockets. The, house was , 'Hlilmtrn V ib
; not largeenoiigh for tint visitors, each ('Mulillower, hV (Iok
one of whom deposited from $1 to 110 Carrol per sk
lu the outstretched hand. Each left ; do young do
the moment his little errand wa ao-! Celery per dox. ,T .. .
conipllshed, hiiiI not a word could Im ; Cucumlr V dux, . .
ium in cxpiuuiti ion, except mo utsi tiun,
w ho, us he turned to go, remarked:
"We wauled lo play a lit t ie joke on
you, uud we huv " The several
jukes" netted just $S71. His home
wits saved aud a neat balance was left
besides, The minister maintained that
be hud contracted it habit ihut night
that for a year afterward, whou he
shook a hand, prompted him to look
into his own palm, half expecting to
sou a piece of metal there,
12 INI
13 00
I S lit) ;
HOOj
IS INI
'.' IN) ;
22 A0i
22 AO ;
22 .a)
22 AO
25 IN) !
1 oo ;
2 HO
waul, met
ask too.
hi uucertuiu oaruer. PAifmfc Iplua i aud Hum you re going to spriiig1 Mo-
quirtr. ' " ; j bmty onto me,' lou can plai-" uu
"Lot journeyed wearily on." said tl t uu"y unvo ou pie. vosmn jru.
2 2A
2M
25
IOii 111
I7ltl'.l
Ithu I -I
i (been Pens V Ib.
; Celt uce ff ilo.
Onions V lb ... .
I'otuloee V 100 lbs .
Radishes do . , .
j Hbllburb
Settled Ilia Own Case, Too.
Helng lold that lu one of the Russian
law court thorn is a case which has
been on the docket for more than 400
years. we tire reminded of the humiliat
ing fact thai our ow n beloved country
is very young. Si III, we ure proud lo
sny that lit the brief time of our na
tional existence wo hue succeeded iu
acciiniuliiling it large and choice as
sortment of cases, which not only show
our excellent intentions, but give evi
dent!) that iu time we will have the
most elaborate und costly collodion of
antique law cases in the clvlli.ed world.
We believe wo Imve no such chumpish
lawyers us the one of whom the story
is told In London. When he was it
young' mail his father retired from
practice, leaving the business lo him.
Wilhlu u week liin young lawyer ciiine
inline aud proudly exclaimed:
"Well, father, 1 huve done In three
day s what you couldn't do In all the
years of your pruefiei)."
"What is that, my sou?''
"I have settled that Noe eslale case."
'Sullied it my sou? Set tied It, did
you say ?"
"Yes, fal her, 1 settled It iu three
lays, and i could have done it iu out)
If the Judge hud been ut home."
"Young mini," said the astonished
parent, "you are an ass, a consumiualo
tss. Why, sir, four genernliuns of
inceslors have lived on that case and
grown rich, and you und your chil
iroti's children might have done the
lame If you had not been uu cgrcgiuu
iss. WaxIdiHiton I'ont,
Mexico Is to have a timgnlllceiit con
gressional palace, the architect to be
Piucenliiii, who built the Palace of 1'iue
Art iu Rome,
Prunes.
Oregon French Petite
DRIED FRUITS.
Apples sun dried ore. ....
do factory sliced Cid.,.,
do evap. AO Ib boxes. . . .
do miblea . ,
! Apricots
I Black tarries 50 lb boxes. , ,
Cherries pitted . .
rearm hlvs, imp I d new. ,
do evaHratd
Pears much dried
Plums pitted Orog....', ...
" factory
OKron, Currants, o.
Currants. In bxs or bbls. ,
Dates In boxes ,
1 75
llatH
HI
I 40i I 50
1 IM)
I A
1Mb Tiki
75
11 .
20 .
2 2A
15
6
70S
7V
HCtl'IO
II to 12
(I to 7
mo 1-1
1 1 dt 13
40
10(12 '
I2dil5 '
IIWDJiJ
3(iC4
5(i6 .
I (Mil
Legal Advloe.
" hat are you asking a mouth for
the rent of this room?" asked a young
New York lawyer of the proprietor of
an exceedingly small room. "Ten dol
lar a mouth, invariably in advance."
"Whew! That's steep. You have no
ventilation and' very Utile light."
"Thai's so, but you seem to overlook
the advantage this room has for a
young lawyer." "What ure tlieyP'1
"In the first place, you are near the
court-house, and there are two pawn
broker establishments ami several free
lunch stands within a block and a half,"
tew Sylinyi.
Senator Stanford is one of tlte many
publio meu who subscribe to uewspa-per-clippiugt
ageuoies.
Kill In an Almshouse.
parson,, "w ith die fate of bis poor wile
fresh iu his memory." "How could
that bo," his little sou asked- him after
theaeruioii, "when kite was sallP"
iiurddU. . ' ' ' -. .
If it were' only as easy for a man to
understand a wniaii a it is to love
her there wouldn't be any "Is Mar
riage a Failure?" going the uneven,
rounds of the pubho press, t'hitaikl
jiu'u Jiunirer.
Mrs. Wlekub-M ! I,.,i-.l f.uViv- Vl.-.i
4 00 XI,.., i.';,r,.,..,iiu,i .. . ;.. f ... .:i ..i i
thing. Tho idea!" 1 Mr, t-Wickirira
; (soothingly) "O, - well, she . merely
' meant Hun your face, had nollies ou iu
Ttfft Haute JCrprt, -'
I ' First Hioker "No flm-ruatlolis iu
! the dress market, eh. Plunger? Strong
i effort lo "bull" Parisian styles .yot?''
I Second Urojuir "Yas,aiit ye .singiihir
i enough, the hare faction socio to jiro
! doiuiuitte." tiicliuutittt iiinintclK "
j Hobbs "Yes. I suppose I do ' look
1 rather used up, but the fact is I've been
wotKiug pretty unlit lately-consum-lug
the midnight oil, you know." Fogg
"I ne. Ueeu on a spii-e.'Ynu meuu
the fusel oil." Honlmt Traii'.riiU
Mrs. Lllerary"Do yon believe.wiih
the poet that reading inakes a full
mail?" Mrs. Practical fsisrhiiiirV -I
i dou't know that rending makes it .full
man, but I am convinced that, a club
j reading-room dons." jfVi Mjliiiga.
U Briggs "Yomiir Smlthers la a friend
i of yotu-s.is he not?" Bniggs "O.yes."
! Briggs "Does he ever recite itn'y Of
I hi poetry to yon?" Biitggs -:Cer-!
talnly net." Didu't I iust loll von he Is
i a friend of miueP" Terrt lAmle-. Ejc
i presi,
Barber "Shampoo, girP".. Victim
i "No. Haven't 1 siit'ered enough al
I ready?" Burlier "I neven- shaved but
: one man who Uuln't have some fHiilt to
mm." Victim "YV as he dumbP" Bar
ber "No, sir; he was deud." Phita.
aclpiM inquirer. ' . '
The great question now is, "Slionld
olergymen use' tobacco?" 1 We tbJuk
not. The clergy is absolutely over
worked testing and testimonializing
patent medioiuos. We sliotildu't ex
pect too much even of tiie clergy.
Boalon Transcript.
Cholly "How I wish I was' your
little dog!" Miss Flyppe "That Is a
Terv laudable ambition. Mr. Sophloigl;
ami doe you oredit, but I am afraid
you will have to be content with the
position nature has assigned you."
2'errt Haute Express.
. "Vwioh "cookies you rudder hat,
meester; de vwones mit holes in de
meetlle or de vwoWs' hilt 'Citron in de
meedleP' :i "Av it don't malik ahny dif
ference to yea, mem, Ol'lj talik do ones
wid de.oitron. Oi'in ftinder av nltmn
diiii av holes, , meiii." iuraer's Weekly.
; Smith "Ilorio, Jones! Got 'any-'
thing to do yet? If I recollect aright
you were out of employment." Joues
"Yes. I got a very good job; I am
manufacturing material for, interiors. "
Smith "Ah! Artdeoorutiou?" Joues
"No. I've turned cook." Jlaslun
Courier. ' ' . . .
' Chinese Ideas of Hell.
According to the N. Y. Tritium the
paupers of tho Hlookley almshouse,
Philadelphia, Pa., can't complain that
their lives ure monotonous. While
they are sleeping the sleep of the
puupor large ami hungry nils nibble
their toes, uud while they are partaking
of their dinners the resident physician
aud other olllclals engage iu rut-shoot-lug
ooutesl.
One way of convincing vour wifethat
you are a genius is to get your life in
sured. Tho larger the policy the
greater tho genius. Then,, . if you go
off somewhere and fool w'ilh some
thing that you didn't know was loaded,
you will simply be great thiUuklnhia
trtis. ""... . .-..
St. Peter "What U your claim for
recognition and udinlltauoeP" Nowl
Arrived Spirit-"Iu life 1 was never
guilty or conlessing to any uuuoy aiice
from a woman's high' bonnet iu
theater. St. PeterJ-"Aiigc.liu umul
The sixth court of the Chinese hell la
situated at"' the bottom of the great
ocean, -north of Wuuhio Rock,' says a
writer In the.SU Louis Qlobe-ikinocrat,
It is a. vast, , noisy gahenna, many
league In extent, around it are sixteen
.wards or an le-liel Is. I u the ti rat ward
the sinful soul is made to kneel; for
long periods on hot iron shots; in the
second they r placed up to their
Decks in tilth; in the third they are
pounded till the blood runs out; iu the
toitrth their months' are oened Willi,
red-hot pincers and tilted with ueedles;
ru the tilth they are inclosed in a net
of thorns and nipped by poisonous; lo
custs; in the seveuih all the flesh ami
boue are crushed to a jelly;: all except
the head; In the eighth the head is de
nuded '(if skin,' ami the flesh beaten
ou the raw; in the ninth the mouth la
. tilled with. Are; in" the tenth the
pounded lleli of the body is licked autt
roasted by sulphurous flames; in tho
'eleventh the nostrils are subjected ti
all loatheeome smells known to their
' tormentors; in the twelfth they are tu
be butted by rams, oxen, aud buffalo,
and. allat subjected to crushing pres
sure by being trampled by horses; iu
the thirteenth the heart will be takeu
out and Bkinned; In the fourteenth the
skull will be rubbed with sandstone
until it ha been entirely worn from
the jelly-like mass which wa ouce the
body; in the fifteenth the body will be
separated iu the middle and carried,
.with the hare,. bleeding ends sitting ou
red-hot. plates,, to the sixteenth ward,
where the skin will be removed, dried,
aud rolled up, after having written on
It all the sinful deeds done by the soul
while an inhabitant of the fieshv bo.lv:
after that the body will be eousigued
to, life tlaiiios, "
Speed and Power or Ulcds. .
The vulture is said-to fly, at times,
atthe rule of about 100 miles an hour;
the wild goose and the swallow, in
their migrations,- make 90 mile uu
hour, ami the currier pigeon ha cer
tainly flown long distances at rates of
speed ranging from 60 to 80 miles
hour, ami for many hours tog'el her.
Ihe couilunil orow ordinarily loni'iires
;acrt),sS uouutry at the rate of " twetity
nva miles au hour, the speed of a rafl
way train. . Professor Lungley limit
that the power exerted by the eagle iu
full flight is but fraction of one
horse-power. Mr. Cluuiiite compute
the power exerted bv a mV.,., i . i....
, 2,200 feet per minute, twetity-liveiiile
per hour nearly, at 1-200 of a horse-
i.ower per pound, or nine and one-third
horse-power for a llyiug-maehiue of
equally good form, weighing oue tou
at twenty-Bye miles an hour, or about
nlty horse-power per ton weight at
titty miles. Mr. VVeuham. a member
of the British Aeronautical Society
unds, In the peliouu. an expenditure of
one-eleventh liorse-power by twenty,
one pounds of bird, and this i 0ua
horse-power to 231 pounds, or about a
horse'-power for the Weight of a man
allowing ample margin for surplus
power, lhelnrds are found to have a
surplus lifting power of about one-half.
Professor Lauglcy has purchased re
ceutly for the Smithsonian Institution
the pn.e steam engine of the Aerouau
ticul Society of 1S68, which, with car
and screws, weighs only sixteen
pounds, aud. but thirteen without these
essentials. To tllB 11luw tlu)SB HcU
certatuly look encouraging. Forum.
An alligator ' near Mlcanope, ' Fla,.
seized a homo's tail aud dislocated H,