THE MEDFORD DAILY TRIBUNE, MEDFORD, OREGON", MONDAY, OCTOHKR 4, I'll)!).
GOLD HILL ITEMS.
(The News.)
Tho patrons along a rural mute
ere iipt to expert tooo much from tlie (
currier. It would be a sNit help,
lo the fnnuer to apply to the govern-
nient for ft ropy of the postal laws
iu reference to tho regulation of m-
rnl curriers.
I'pou impiiry by -the News man.
Mayor Stanley states that nil mate
rial that is adequate to the rapid
completion of the sewer is now on
the ground and the work will be com
pleted about tho middle of the month.
Jack Moore of Medford is in Gold
Hill putting a new tin roof on the
' l,,i.L- l.inl.lim' Mr. Moore is nn ac
complished workman, nnd when he
pets through with it tlie occupants
can rest assured they will be able to
keey dry for some time to come.
D. II." Cheney was in from Galice
this week.
Sara MeClendon visited his ranch
the fore irrt of this week.
Dr. C. H. Smith from Gnlice was
iu town Wednesday.
The Southern Pacific crew of
painters arrived Wednesday with
their boarding house and started in
to put the finishing touches op the
Hold Hill depot.
J. R. Wolfe of Portland arrived
in Gold Hill Thursday. Mr. Wolfe
is here to engineer the erection of a
new ten-stamp mill for .the Gray
Eagle mine. He states ,Uint the mill
will be "slapped right up" as soon as
a bunkliouse cau be erected.
Two ten-stamp mills .were unload
ed at the-Southern Pacific depot last
Tuesday. One goes to tie Gray Eagle
mine and the other one came into the
possession of A. J. Sherrod. '
Eetly Hundred Years.
"Doesn't this dress make me look
younger, George?"
Yes, my dear, exactly 10O years
younger."
Soft Job.
"I hate clerking." drawled the sloth
ful youth In tue green hatband, "and
yet I would like a position where I
could keep my hands soft and white."
"Ob, you would, eh?" spoke up the
business man sarcastically. "Then
why not get a job as dishwasher in a
lummer hotel?' New York Life.
As Defined.
Little Edna (rending) Say. mamma,
what is a lack of artistic taste?
Mamma It is the feeling, my dear.
that prompts a baldbeaded man with
red whiskers to wear a black wig. i
nt Times. '
IT
MEDFORD
WHATJSA JOKE?
It Is a Serious Busineit to th Man
Who Concocts It.
"There's one thins 1 thought 1 knew,
but find I don't know," "aid Tommy.
"What Is a joke?''
Father pricked up his ears, us it
were. "A Joke," be said slowly, "is
something Its maker thluks is funny,
but nobody else does."
"That explains It then. Today I said
an awful quaint thing. .Mother had n
lot of women here, und they talked
about eJothes. 1 said: 'A woman's
mind is always on clothes. VYheu she
ain't talking through ber hiit 'she's
laughing up ber sleeve.' But uo oue
laughed, and 1 read that one too. Tell
me a joke."
"if I were to say when I came homo
from visiting tlie cemetery that 1 bad
returned from the dead, that would be
a Joke."
"is that a practical Joke?"
"It Is not it's a grave Joke."
"What's a practical joker
"If your mother Just before going
out shopping asked fur money and 1
gave her ail she wanted."
"Po you like practical Jokes?"
"Not when they're us practical as
that."
"Does every one like Jokes?"
"I'ew people do. Most think it is
more blessed to give than to receive."
"Then people can't take a Joke?"
"There ure some who can't. Editors,
for Instnuce. rarely take a Joke."
"Does uuy oue make money from the
writing of jokes?"
"Only tbe paperiuakers nnd the post
al department of tbe government."
"Must a joke be funny to be a Joke?"
"Few are."
"Then some are serious?"
"Not exactly. But If you refer to a
sexton as a man of grave cares some
might thluk you Intended to be Jocu
lar." "Is a pun like a joke?'
"Nothing t all. A man who makes
a joke is an Idiot, whereas a man wbo
makes a pun is a criminal." 1 "
"Then the man wbo writes wbat he
thinks ure jokes is a funuy fellow?"
"No; It is u serious business with
him."
"He has his ups and downs, then?"
"Yes. lie gets up courage to write
to editors and gets turned down by
them." i
"You're not referring to the man
wbo writes the colnmn in the papers
every day? ".Surely life Is one Joke
with him."
"No, It isn't He thinks he's a hu
morist but he's a pessimist He'd
rather be a hodcarrler."
"Why. does a hodcarrler make more
money?'
"Well, be has a habit of climbing and
often goes higher. Besides, the out
door work is healthier."
"Isn't Joke writing healthy?"
"Not when you're caught at it"
"Can a man write Jokes and still be
a gentleman?"
"You forget Tommy, that our re
marks are intended for publication
and that I have many friends who
write. Besides. I sometimes get off a
Joke or two myself." Philadelphia
Ledger.
Effort Appreciated.
"So you were deeply touched by the
poem young Mr. Uuffson wrote to
you?" said Maude.
"Yes." answered Maymle.
"But It was not a good poem."
"I don't care. It was just as much
trouble for him to write it as if be
bad beej Shakespeare." Washington
Star.
REGARDLESS OF
ALWAYS
To Own Your Own
AND IF YOU ONLY KNEW HOW MUCH CHEAPER IT IS THAN TO
WOULD IMMEDIATELY. MAKE OUT YOUR LUMBER BILL AND TAKE
MADE THE MOST OF IT.
Clevtr Tactics Whan William Quit
Using Tobacco.
All excerpt from Doris' letter: "Aud.
oh. Will. If you weren't the dear
est boy! You often told me that
you would do anything In the world
for me, and now you write for my
sake you've quit suioUn.:. I'll liavo lo
wait until 1 see jou lo tell you what a
dour I think you ure."
From Juuls: "You 'write that out of
consideration for me you have stopped
Kmokluj: for cood. That wiu Just love
ly of ymi. William, und you may de
pend that I irreatly tippiiviiilo it."
From Phyllis: "lUI'v. hoy. It's Just
ripping! You're the cli.iuly kid! Just to
think that ymi would nwir ntT us Ins
the weed Just fur me! It was mighty
dour vt you. Wily, and It makes me till
the more keen (or you."
From Marjorle: "To (liink that
you've quit smoking, William! I wan
so surprised: Of i oursc I always knew
that you care for inc. hut to think that,
as you say. you've iiiade ihis narrillee
on my account why. It's positively
noble of you!"
From his mot tier.: "Will, my son.
this proves your love for me. Father
is IiicIorIur n check to show ilia I he
appreciates the fart that you thtnk
enough of your pareuts to give up
smoking for them."
l-'roai his doctor: "Your letter ad
vising me ilint you have obeyed my
orders and stopped the use of tobacco
is at baud. As I said, your compli
ance ."Puck.
Woll Equipped.
A Methodist bishop was recently a
guest at the home of a friend who
had two charming daughters. One
morning the bishop, uccompuuled by
the two youug ladles, weut out in tbe
hope of catching some trout. An old
fisherman, out for- tbe same purpose,
wishing to appear- friendly, called out:
"Ketchln" muuv. pard?"
Tbe bUbop, drawing himself to his
full height, replied, "Brother. I am a
fisher of men."
"You've got the- right kind of bait,
all right." was the fisherman's re
Joinder. Success Magazine.
Weakminded Undoubtedly.
"I thiuk that man intends to do
something desperate and that be Is de
liberately trying to arrange It so that
be will have little trouble in showing,
if it shall become necessary to do so,
that be Is insane." - -
"What has caused you to form such
an opinion?"
"When he was taken Into court yes
terday for exceeding the speed limit
he admitted right away that bis auto
mobile was going forty miles un hour
at the time the pojlcemau called on
him to stop." Chicago Itecord-Herald.
if
nard to Get.
Not long ago at a village near Dur
ham a quark doctor was selling recipes
for rheumatism, so a pitman bought
one. It told him to catch a common
housefly and tickle Its ribs with a
clothes prop until It cried. Then catch
tbe tears in a teaspoon and rub the
part affected, and be would get Instant
relief. London Express.
Praise. -
"Your glasses." she said, "bar
made a great difference in your ap
pearance." "Do you think so?" be asked.
. "Yes. You look so intelligent with
them on." Chicago Becord-Herald.
WHETHER YOU HAVE A
WAGES,
OUclpllnef
From the class room occupied by the
roughest boys In, the oundiiy school
riimo a great uproar. A secretary In
the next Mom went to Investigate.
Complete silence followed the opeulng
of the class room door.
"Have you n teacher?"
"No."
"Do you want one?"
"No."
"Then lie quirt or you'll get one,"
Kesult, comparative, peace. Manches
ter (Junrdliiu.
Looking Out For Grandma.
They are considerate youngsters iu
Nottingham, as most peoplo know,
says Loudon Tlt-illts. A little boy
whose grandmother bad Just died
wrote tho following letter, which bo
duly pouted:
"Dear Angels Wo hnvo seut yon.
grundm. Please glvo her a harp to
pluy, as she Is short winded aud can't
blow a trumpet."
Well Rehearaed.
Stage Munager Itememher, Bangs,
we are deluding on your baby to cry
lustily In the third scene. Do you
think he'll do his part? Actor Father
Ho ought to, sir. He's been rehears
ing night und day. Boston Transcript.
Like One of the Family.
Wlgwa-j njui-es says that when he
Is nt your house he nets Just ll'.:o one
f the. fur.-.llv. lleupecliUe Yes: he
HOTEL ARRIVALS.
At the Moore Mrs. K. Klmer Smith
Yreka; H. T. T)sAnnond, Grants Pass;
J. C. Merly. Rochester; Frank Leon
ard, Kirhy; II. M. Wait and wife, Lin
coln; Mrs. Turner, Portland;' R. 0.
Bennett, Ctidnr Rapids; E. F. Fordyec
F.ureka; E. If. Hubbard, San Fran
cisco; Miss Fannie Turpi". Deentur;
A. B Hill, Eureka; Mrs. J L. Wil
liams, 'ill.- Sophia Dennmer, Piins
tnuir; W. Hi? Mills. Chico; J. R. Bur
num, L. Y. Fuller, Weed; Ed Bus
theni, C. C. Alne, Los Angeles; H. II.
Afhectour, Xew York; Alonzo M. Rci
ly, Los Angeles; W. II. Hendricks,
Portland; M. Trundle, Sisson; Mr.
nn, I Mrs. 0. 'Talker, Mis. L. II. Silcs,
Houston: I.ney li'obson, Redding; J.
T. van Orsnnle, A. A. Matthews, A.
X. Holman, Jan.cs S. Lndy, Port
land; Louis Moore. Mt Cnnnel; Sam
Mnriis. Rod. I'oi-it: Mr. nnd Mrs.
I'rnnk R. Burkp. Sim Francisco; Mrs.
Ma'iel Cil'ford, I.ns Anyeles; J. W.
lis'iiumioiul, Sim T-raw 10, 3. A. Me
Leod, D. A. Potts, Glendale; George
Schiller. Sheridan; B. F. Keycs, Tren
ton; A. 0. Mister, city.
J. F. Zyne, Wat kins; J. M. Gore,
Los Angeles; A. A. Levy, San Fran
cisco : Leln Wngner, Los Angeles;
Claude S. Taylor, San Francisco; J.
.1. Pierce nnd wife, Wilmington ; J. C.
Keely, Vilas Johnson. J. Pel ton, C.
E. Lemons, Iuthaca; Jesse J. Silver
ton. Jefferson City; Maurice Lewis,
Baltimore; M. K. Ketrhemer, C'hien
go; E. P. McConnnck, Snlem; Mr.
nnd Mrs. Charles Thorpe, Geneva;
Thomas Robertson, Frank Gilbert,
Charles Gilbert, A. T. Warden, A. J.
Hall, Portland; Evnn Hughes, Mnn
knto; James II. Percy, Portland; C.
A. M. Cnnnon, Portland; Mr. nnd Mrs.
M. C. Cnrgnr, Sun Francisco; O. M.
Hiimebnugli, Ashland; John E. Mar-
REGULAR INCOME OR
JUMBER
HUSSEY'S
For Hosiery 4
For Fancy China
For Table China
For Enamelware
For Work .Gloves
For Handkerchiefs
For Fancy Glassware
For Tinware; All Kinds
Pocket Books Purses, Ribbons. Hair
Pins, Combs, etc., in fact we have
the most complete line of every
day needs to be found in any store
in the city.
THE BUSY STORE
1000 Post Cards; most complete line
in Southern Oregon; all at lc each
hie, J. E. Fislibuni, Charles E. Finch,
Mr. and Mrs. C'hurles Thorpe, Los
Angeles; Mr. mid Mrs. I. I. Pierce,
Washington; F. W. Echshrom, San
Francisco; II. Hall, Portland; J. A.
Hcujiins, Racine.
FOR SALE At West Side stables,
one mule, one saddle pony, one sin
gle driver, otic young ranch team.
172
ARE WORKING FOR
Home
PAY RENT YOU
IT TO THE
i
PAYS
To Chicago and Return.
October 4 October 4. October 4.
Ten days nllowcd going trip, re
turning tickets good until November
30. Round trip $82.40. For particu
lars, enquiro at the locnl office or ad
dress A. S. Rosonbnum, S. P. Co.
Agent, Modford, Or.
;
GO.
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