MEDPORD DAILY TRIBUNE, OREGON, WEDNESDAY; .IANUAR.V r.i. HM
Humor avis Philosophy
By DUNCAN M. SMITB
ONLY.
Only a banker.
Working away, r
Laying up scads
Kop a rainy day,
Sliovullng dollars
Into the vault.
Hardly for dinner
Calling a halt.
Carelessly leaving
Millions around
With a contempt that It
Almost profound,
Handling checks
liy the bushel or bale,
Having the world.
As we say, by the tall.
Coming to work
"Vtum the morning Is spent.
Counting up profits.
So much ier cent, ,
Closing up shop
With the proilts produced
Long e'er the hour
When the hens go to roost.
Being the person
A fellow must see
When ho Is needing
An X or a V,
Sending for debtors.
Culling their bluff,
Only a banker,
but It's enough.
Who, Indeed!
i WISH I
WO NCI
Plenty of money Is to be
but wlio ever had plenty of money?
At the Critical Moment.
"You have n bnd cough."
Au nnnoy.ug one."
"Don't you know bow to cure u
cold?"
"Yes, except wben I buve one."
Retiring.
"I tante to tell tbe truth."
"Why?"
"Modest"
"Don't"
"Makes me so conspicuous.'
Locating the Cause.
'! don't know
where that boy
gets his mean
ness!" oxclalnirt
the despairing
mother ns she
went over In de
tail the latest an
tic of her young
hopeful.
"Perhaps you
nre not very well
acquainted with
his parents," ob
served her sym
pathetic friend.
BEATEN TO A FRAZZLE
The Iceman when the wild winds
of winter whistle n wistful welcome lo
Santa Clans' reindeer as their hoofs
beat ft Joyful tinkle over the housetops
nnd fnraway, and so forth.
Tbe gentle June, zephyr when the
young year stands in the glowing Yule
tide with yesteryear fading In the
background, yielding, bending n lis
teniug ear to the yodeling of the days
to be.
The motor car as It stands deserted
and lone nnd listens while the four
footed steed gives It the horse langh
und the aviator gracefully nvlates
above iu the cerulean blue or any pre
ferred tint of the same.
Kaiser Wllhelm as he stands nnd lis
tens to the populace daily committing
leze majesty nnd wistfully wonders
what has become of the offensive and
defensive alliance betwixt nnd between
"me und Gott."
The Duke Abruzzi as the tentative
American millions grow vague nnd
shadowy and the clamoring nrmy of
creditors gently and firmly forge to
the center of the stage.
Your pocketbook, your bank account,
your credit, when the merry, merry
days of Yule have tied and the New
Year festivities have flown nnd you
meet up with the stern accounting of
an unfeeling bookkeeper nnd an equal
ly unfeeling bill collector.
Your personal pride when you iX'U
orer the Christmas remembrances that
your doting friends have sent you and
realize what their estimate of you
mint be.
Cold storage eggs when the hens
begin to lay.
Tentative.
"Are you engaged. .Miss Nancy?"
"Well. nt so that you could notice
it ir-
"If what?"
"A more desirable man should pro
pose." Reason For His Faith.
"Do you believe hi f;'L'ns?"
"Of course I do. I a at a sign paint-
fflUi WISH I HVUHjr
ties I rod
4
NOBODY KNOWS WHY
A limn Invariably looks self conscious
when the good t)uallti(ft of his off
spring art' bi'lui; iIIkcushi'A and belli up
for admiration nnd approval mid looks
ri'proiicufully lit tlw mother of the
sa uio when the witne Kelt" vicious.
ETELL MB, AW DBAS;,
H AO 3 MB A
A dimple lu her chin is worth more
to a girl than a whole term of do
mestic science.
A mnrried man always says to his
wife 4'Yhat is that?" no matter what
the kind, quality, origin or nature of
the thing causing the inquiry, no mat
ter how obvious or how mysterious Its
reason or purpose. Many thoughtless
married women give flippant uuswers
see South Dakota.
Broken Spell.
The finding of u horseshoe
Along u dusty way
Brings good luck to the tinder,
I've heard the wise ones say.
A case of l ure good fortune
As mortal ever Btruck.
I'd rather find a dollar
And buy my own good luck.
These ancient signs and tokens
That In the long ago
Worked magic Just us eusy
As holiues shovel snow
Are not at present writing'
So certain to produce
As bales of ready money
Assorted and turned loose.
The finding- of a horseshoe
In n.oderii limes will bring
A trlllo from the Junk man
Perhaps a bull of string
Hut put It on n horse race
Or any scheme at hand
Without the aid of money
And see where It will land.
They used to think It fnxy
To nail one to the door
A fortune that had vanished
To carefully restore.
But now we do not bother
With Junk and such old trash.
We huy our luck serenely
With good and ready cash.
Only Resemblance,
"Let us be thankful the holdup men
do not call their work n religious cere
mony. "
"How could they?"
"Don't they take up a collection V"
Many "Easy Marks."
Sometimes It is shameful to deceive
-it is so easy. .
South American Improvement.
A bluodlf.ss revolution
Ik iitt the lalcKt lii'd
The .merest child van ride It.
And persons who have tried It
Will ti.-e no other kind.
Her Little Present.
The vessel touched at Halifax, and
several of the sailors went ashore.
'This looks like a Hue town." said
Jack. "I feel fight at home."
"Maybe yu were raisi-d here." said
his companion.
"No; I never saw the place before,
hut I own the town."
"How Ws that happen."
"My wife gave It to me before I left
home."
Already S'.raintd.
"Lot. Us like a strong case agalnsl
hi in."
"StiJl we must presume biin Innocent
tnitll he proved guilry."
"I know that Is Hie right thing U
do. and I would like to, but 1 can't."
"Why noiV"
i br'l;e my pie-tiin.'r on some bur
shirs that sneaked Inlo my hoine."
Genuine Article.
"How ilt i ynii I lire y Mir board Inf
houu'V"
"Oh. we live tin (he f.it of I he land.
"I cm't understand It at the price."
"Well, von see the bulk of the fat
re get c,jnr,i?i:t of (ileohiMTtrnrhie.",
GOVERNOR HANLEY WARNS
LEGISLATURE FOR LAST TIME
INIHAN'APiiI.IS, .Inn. 1 ' I am
invrir,1 IIhti- hit Rnnii r.-l.o nldondv have
! (.t ill, but I lit i; tu ri'mili'l all t'.wse
' u li.i cniiti ni.l:iiinn i t i.'.rnlin th:it it
! ir, lli.' Ilvi-Ht wif !n tlio .r,'s-nt m.'irliin
!rrv of thin eomniiniwe.iKh, and is charg
icl with i'ii', mil trii'ity In ek-ctro-ji-nte
t lie carty tli:i r.'t-aU it.'' lo
! these wor,l Ci,v'rnr Frank Hanloy in
his final m'""t;'i.',' to th" Uisiaturn 'i
iliuliana. ili'lniTi-il tiia;-, olwl his ap
peal in behalf nf t en. p ranee, efferinff
fi;.ires teniliiii; to tlinw that a majurit)
nt erinie. .auperiini. i j'ilepy nli'l pev
if v. nre ilue to ali'iitcl
1 1 bo v -at 1
, . M-l- RAISfJ
Her Economy.
"Wish I wi re a mermaid."
"Why do you wish that"
"Mailer of ei-onomy."
"Kxplaln."
"Well, wouldn't have to buy any
shoes nor hats"
"I see."
"And then 1 look awfully well In
greeu."
Good Advice.
"What is the matter with that fel
low?"
"Oh, he's out of bis bead."
"l 'a n't the doctor do anything for
blm?"
"No."
. "Try the plumber."
One Added.
"I suppose a cat really has nine
lives."
"Yes; It has nil of that, nut lucludlug
the one that it lives later on as an ex
pensive sealskin muff."
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
About nil the
good Home people
do couslsts tu
get tint; In tbe
way of pestifer
ous people uud
taking their at
tention and so
suviug some of
the rest of us.
Anything that
unities ii disturb
ance like a meal
ticket won't Uud
that it will be
able to escape
uotlce these
balmy holidays.
The man who will luveut a furuace
that wilt keep the house warm iu the
morulng without anybody execrating
it will be a benefactor to his race.
Whether It Is better to bear the Ills
we have tbau to fly to others depends
upon whether they consist of $.VHHJ
jobs or a eholco assortment of tooth
aches.
After passiug a pleusaut half hour
chatting with some people you some
times suddenly feel as If you would
be the better fur some sort of mental
disinfectant.
A tieh daddy is more to he desired
than a I ft ltd husband and often out
lusts the hitter.
Don't expect too tnueb of your
friends. It may be that mueh of their
active energy Is taken up with won
dering just what you are going to do
for them.
WASHINGTON, .bin. lit President
Roosevelt, today signed n pardon for
Wi Din in Davis, a bookmaker of New
York. Davis agreed to lest the book
milking laws in the District of Colum
bia, was arrested at the Denning rare
track ami was sentenced to one hour
in jail. Davis applied lo the president,
fnr a pardon, in nnbT that ho should
not be compelled to torfiet his right to
vole and hold office.
X Jt tm
k At
Papa .-1ST he)
OUT 1
tain
Cpoh my word-)
in
glass
If You Owned the Earth
jt'i yKVjfff
W!'t ,i JUF tif II
coauaMS
nui 1 1 aswaMv
cri'ase in vnhis as its income
producing rapacity increases, but with'thn r:ght kind of an nrchar
d, Hiich as some we have to show, the purchaser ha a chance of g-t
ting his purchase price back out of a single crop, w'.tb proper man
agf-ment. How can wealth be aecuoiu la ted faster than by buying o
ne of th good young orchards we have for salef
Always at vonr sriee for the best buys in thia vnlloy.
ROGUE RIVER
EXHIBIT Bl'lLDINO,
MAY PROVE FATAL.
When Will Med ford People Learn the
Importance of It?
Ihickacho is only a Mm pie thing at
first;
But when you know 'tis from the
kidneys;
That serious kidney troubles follow;
, That diubotes. Bright 's disease may
i be the fntal end,
J You will gladly profit by the follow-
ing experience.
j 'Tib the statement of a Med ford citi
zen. Mrs. C. II. Uoxie, corner F and Sec
ond streets, Med ford, Or., Bays: "I
had kidney trouhlo fnr several years,
the. disease gradually becoming more
serious until my general health wan
much run down. My beck ached a great
deal and if I attempted to stoop or lift
I suffered severely, ( had headaches
and would be lame and stiff, upon aris
ing in tho morning. I began using
Bean's Kidney Pills, which I procured
nt Haskin's drddug store, and in a
short time the trouble vanished. I am
now entirely, well an! owe the great
change to Bonn's Kidnfy Pills."
For sale by all dealers. Prico 50
eents. Fostcr-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N.
Y., sole agents for tho United States.
Bemember the name Doan 's and
take no other.
Prep lid BaUrotB Ord.n.
"Something wkieh is of consldsrabls
interest to the public generally and
which is perhaps not genorally known
.:. th. u.t.m nl nrnimld orders now in
effect between stations of the Southern
Pacific company and all points in Uie
United States. By means of thia system
tickets may be purchaaod at Medford
from any place in th Wilted Btates and
mailed or tolegraphed direct to the
party wishing to come here. Sleeper
accommodations and small amounts of
cash in collection with these tickets
nay also be forwarded at the aamt
time." '
City Trcasuret 's Notice
Office of Citv Treasurer. Medford.
Oregon. .Tan. 13., MilMl: Notice is
hereby given that there are funds in
tlio city treasury for the red ptiou of
all outstanding warrants insui'il ngninst
the Street and Road fund.
Interest on the nhoe will cease after
the aliove date.
. L. I,. J A COHS,
City Treasurer. 2.17
Medford Time Table
SOUTHERN PACIFIC RAILWAY.
Northbound
No. IGjOregon Eipress....
No. 14Portland Eipress...
Southbound
No. 15California Express..
No. 13San FranciBco Exp..
No. 225Prom Grants PasB...
No. 22fiPor Ashland
6:24 p. m.
0:49 a. m
10:35 a. in
3:20 p, m.
9:15 p. m,
10:15 p. m
PACIFIC ft EASTERN RAILWAY
So. lLeaves MeSford .". . 8:10 a. m.
No. 3I,oaves Medford S:SUp. iu.
No. 2Arrives Medford 10:28 n. m.
No. 4Arrives Medford 5:08 p. m.
ROOUeIuVEr" VALLEY RAILWAY
No. 2Leaves Medford
No. 4Leaves Medford
Motorl,euves Medford
MotorjLeaves Medford
No. 1 Leaves Jacksonville..
No. 3Leaves Jacksonville. .
MotorLeavos Jacksonville..
MotorLeaves Jacksonville.
10:45 a. m.
5:35 p. in.
2:00 p. m.
9:00 p. m.
9:00 a.m.
3:30 p.m.
1:30 p. m.
7:30 p. iu.
MAIL OLOBEB
A.M.P.M.
, 0:10 4:54
.10:05 2:50
. 7:20 2:00
.1U:20 6:20
Northbound
Southbound .
Eagle Point .
Jacksonville
MOTEL
PORTLAND
OREGON
Modern Comport
Modkhatk Prices
ONLY ROOF
GARDEN IN
PORTLAND
The Tourist HcadiiUHxtcra
' of Cohmibia Vulley
EN'GAOE ROOMS EARl.T
FOR THR AI.ASKA
TUKON EXPOSITION
A. S. NORTON, Vugir
You rnuMn't fin, a bettor ptneo
to Ii va ttiBit in Hi o (loriniif
Rogue Rivor vnlloy, with it in
comparnblfl winter and Huiniiir
rlimutf. Jut now wo have notue
parttctilariy gol tlevpom or-
hird urntinMitiiina tit Hiitimit to
I thft h",nnol(or which aro (Hire
I winncis. IMnt give this matter
imtnediate attention. H iIors not
take a very wise man to fores
that the advance in values wht-h
wo have been pr dieting in in
coming producing fruit lands is
about to materialize. A good
young orchard wifl not only in-
LAND COMPANY
MEDFORD, ORF.dOX
This most beautiful addition to Medford is to lie put
first sale will occur KWllVvV, .TAX LIA UY 15. lflO!).
LARGE SIZED
Good garden soil, natural oak trees, wide streets, four
sewerage already in.
LOW PRICES AND K A SON A HLE
J. c.
Exclusive Agent
NEVER LOOK BACK
It doosn 't pay. Keep your eyes f i xed
on our exceptional offerings, Pine tai
loring can only bo securod from the
Lnuds of high-class tailors. Our expe
rience and metlioda are certainly worth
investigation. We employ the best
workman and our elohtes are without
doubt the moHt carefully selected in tlic
city.
EIFERT
The City Tailor
MERCHANTS LUNCH
STARTING DECEMBER
28, WE WILf., CUT 'N' A
MERC 11 A NTS' I.UNi Ii
FROM 11:30 A. Jl. UNTII,
2 P. W.
PRICE 36c
THE LOUVRfi
SltTfll
NOTIflK OF FIRST MKKTINO OF .
CREDITORS. j
In the ilistrtct court nf Ilio Unid'd
Stfitf-R for the District rf Ongon.
In the unit tor of S. A. Slovens, A. A. J
StnvMus and D. A. Hom.r, as the .lack
son County Lumber Company, bankrupt.
In bankruptcy:
To the creditors of:
J. A. Htovcus, A. A Stevens ami I).
A. itonar, as the Ja;ktH r County Lum
ber Company, of Oregjii, in the county
of .larkson, and district afori'said, a
bankrupt.
Notit-e is hereby given that on th
81 Ji day of Ducombcr, A. D. 190S, the
said J. A. Stevens, A A. Stevens and
D, A . Bonar, as t ho .lack-ton ,'ounty
Lumber Company, was duly adjudi
rated bankrupt; and that the first meet
ing of its creditors will be held ut Md
ford, in Jackson counly, Oregon, on
the 1.1th day of January, A. ). llmfl.
at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, at which
time the said creditors may attend,
prove their claims, apt-oint a trustee,
examine the bankrupt, and transact
Hiieu other business s may properly
come before said inoetiiig.
JOHN 8. ORTII,
2"i7 Referee in Hankruptry.
RIVERSIDE
SUBDIVISION
ROWN
More Light for Less Money
Sixty-three per cent of electric current saved by using
TUNGSTEN LAMPS.
32 Candle Power Edison Lamp uses 110
Watts per hour and would use in iooo livs.
110 Kilowatts which at locts. a Kilowatt $11
32 Candle Power Tungsten Lamp uses
40 Watts perliour and would use in 1000
hours 40 Kilowatts which at 10c a Kilo
wait 4
Net Saving' in iooo hours iii favor of the
Tungsten Lamp $ 7
Rogue River Electric Co.
(Successors to Condor Water & Power Co.
MTice, 20(5 West Seventh Street. Phone No. 355.
Opposite the 'Electric Sign.
Compare
the Quality
Allen & Reagan
Groceries, Chinaware, Fruit
and Feed
NOTICE
Tim Hold foniifrly kimwn as tlie Taylor House in
.lat-ksimvillo, Or., lias cliauged nian.igcinent and
will lieiift'fortli bt' known as the
ABBOTT HOUSE
under tin; liu.iiitc uiojit. of ('. D. & M. K. ABBOTT.
Tliti liousc has lici'ii rt'inodclod and made modern
and np-lo-dalc in cvi-ry rcsppct and rates are .is
rcasonalili' as consist nt with first-class service.
3ttrs. Urm Ufampton Isaacs
"3iistructor of "piano. Tlsit 5ttetlv0 i
Studio at M.l,Vn. Totlh Oidna Strut
on the market and the
LOTS
blocks to iVrth school,
TERMS.
Palm Block
It is, and always has
beon our aim to supply
our cuatomors with
goods of tho highest
quality uud to that ond
jvo nrv ahvuys adding
"JTirrtl Ity to our lino. The
TVIt'.itiou of ' preferred
ntock" makos our lino
nf Im;;Ii grndo Canned
Goods most com pie to.
Our service always the
b-at and eTory aecom
givuu our customers.