fDGMPLliS
He Tells What Was the Matter
With His Friend Taylor.
MEDFOBP DAILY TRIBUNE, MEDFOK OREOON. WEDNESDAY. DECEMBER HO, "1908.
JOEL HAD MANY TROUBLES.
According to Spoonor, He Is Now
Drawing Long Breaths of Relief In
Another Land The Kind of a Widow
Not to Marry.
Copyright, 1IWS, by T. C. McClure.
EXTI,EMEN," snlil Dencon
Spooner n the usiml crmvri
bml tiHsomblcd' nt 8ii,vdir's
grocery for (lie mail to ar
rive find he distributed, "I learned Into
tbts afternoon flint our friend and
ni'lirhhor, Joel Taylor, had disappeared
.from his home, with Btront, suspicions
that he bad precipitated himself Into
the mill pond In genre h of peace and
rest. I presume. nil others of you have
ll-opyi
u
''''
HB FOLLOWS!; AND TOOK Hilt OCT OP
TUB TENT. '
heard the same thing nnd are aware
of the fact that In the moi-ulni; the
pond Is to bo dragged for the body.
"there may be sonic among you that
think Joel has taken n skin and Is still
Alive, but I am not of the number.
There Is no doubt In my mind that we
Khali flsh bin) out of the water and
that his face will wear the sauie piti
ful expression that we have seen rest
ing there for the pnst five years.
"The question among us Is why Joel
should want to die, nnd It Is n ques
tion that most of us can answer to
our own satisfaction. He has simply
got tired of life. He could look back
for five years and see nothing but
ashes. , When he looked ahead Into
the future he could not see that It held
anything for him. He haR been gath
ered to his fathers, and. according to
my way of thinking, he Is now draw
lug long breaths of relief in that other
land.
Ueutlemen, whut was the matter
, with Joel Tayior? Why didn't he go
around whistling 'Yankee Doodle' and
feeling that this was n good old world
to live In? The answer Is not far
away. He married the wrong woman.
Some of us who knew what 'he was
planning to do argued nnd rustled with
him. but it did no good. J66 would
lend n plow, a hoc or a shorel ns quick
ns any man. on" earth, nnd he was hon
est from head to heel, but at' the Bame
time ta? was sot In his ways. I hain't
saying that It wasn't the right thing
for him tu fall In love with and marry
a widow, 'but what I'm contending Is
that there arc several kinds of wid
ows, and he ought to have taken ad
vice". .'.Jf be had married one who had
bees a Widow only a' year or so, with
the' tear of grief 'still In' her eyes,
he'd have been nllVe ond happy today.
f'Wbat sort of a widow did he mar
ry t I'm not going to say anything par
ticular agin her." I'm Jest saying that
Flic 'Had been a1 vldow ' arid bossed
thjnga for levea "years. ? She'had got
the bossing business down fine. Even
the ducks and roosters around her
place would Jump at her' call. Joel
had come up by himself without any
bossing, and be was one that couldn't
take kindly to It ' Anil he didn't know
womankind.'; Ho thought every man
wis an oak and' that every woman
was a vine that wanted tb cling to blm
arid ask nothing better than' (0 have a
master.
"Well, as I said, it was no use to ar
gue with him. He was sot and went
ahead, and most of ns here know what
begun to happen almost at once. The
widow had a farm, and she didn't turn
It over to him. No, sir. She kept It
right In her own name. She told him
she was perfectly able to boss that and
his, too, and she'went ahead and did
It. Joel hadn't been-married three
months when his day's - work was
planned ont for Win, He couldn't buy
nor sell without bis wife's consent. If
ha" got" roosted tin the- fence1 to chin
with a tin peddler or a lightning rod
man, he'd hardly , get' bis mouth open
before down would collie the wife to
bustle him back to work.
Occasions When Joel Rebelled.
"I know there were decasious when
Joel rebelled, same as any man of
spuHLMbHit7fOTelhofw!ts" 'crushed al-l
most 'in -the"- bud,; His' 'wife had a
way' 'of" looking; 'at'nlrntaat set his
knee to wabWtng, If bestnl held out
he starved him Into submission. I've
known him to live forffAir' days on
raw turnips before 'fo"'te in. but
knuckle he had to. '.' her wna even
ings when we ns"d to tu . -j ,h,l:n here,
He'd slip In with ij.'.iuhi for
Taeses or keroee ard
... ........ a vBlI iujj cuulu - . ,
rX!u!lTbh"UU'"mr" T NOTICE OP ELECTION'. '..tudRe and clerk. C'hns. W. Davis; judge
It- I Tl, ,, 6 lt""'1'0 ,UU lmvi'1 .BC " r""olvtJ' h-v ,lu' eit-v d elerk, A. C. ih.bbard.
J, ' !'. lr' ns '' uau'-ed j"' the city of Medfurd, Oregon, the Second ward-Polling place, Hotel
,1 , , . T L''""'"' !rW- !,'a-vor "i'1'rovi..g, that there he ojid is ! Xa.h sample room; judge, John S. Orth;
"Tl 1 ', ,he,r,'0,n''"",;alk't'llu''vl''V' , r,l"r"t " '!'""'ral in 'indue and clerk, John Summon-ille;
a:y IL'. 1IHI9, for the el
pi'-'iein. aim nut a soul in this whole
v.vi .l Ikii thouKUt it out except me.
i !:::.' ivh.it 1 have been puzzling over
. i.i.-i i"iir weeks, l lint s what''
ailing me Instead of
H:er. we are fninuus
lllllllllj,'0.
we are
".":t Ju-t what Is your plan?" she
.t!-::ed.
i !y thlt: The o.rrl'.h con id tlv
I" h" !:ad the v.'lll;: to (In It. He ..,..
k; !i all iLc inllii:.i ns It Is. M .'.!:
ivln-s f. r 111 in. (Jive him a slum-. Let
':'.::) pr:i-: e !yinir until he has j.or !l
uov.n pal. Then teach him what you
v..: .t ..;... if It Is tii carry a inal!
h: f l! steii or rbHmHplilM. nr
ri l:!. If it Is tu rise with a 5;t.
pmt'id shell and reek out a uiaa-
i. tr !.el. n:.hi ; to the ;. v.:v am'
J.- it down one of her funnel.''.
'iv !.: '!! t'i s'.nPhcrws. all I'i'.'ii.
"' ' i'.n ail over a fort mn:
' ; il -sir'!! it other esiilosive. He
n sjiil cer a town ami destroy it
e enuiva.il a li.i'rlit where he wi!i
t be !er:i. am!, the torr.ir he nii;
l'.'"d will bo soniethli!' nv.'ful. B
;.!r:i. I'ov.'rer nodded her ll 'l'.il' to si :
::!.''," !':at sl'0 t!id. ami he eo'it inued :
'i'h .la; "ii--e I'a.'I.'.r t'eil ".:i::t."
sansa-re n:. !: .-.s we liial In nil nil:
buteher shi ns is made dmvn rcllar or
out In th? alley lu'te:id 'f In the conn
try. V,'e Cm? the alle.u-.nlon. Itela-tl-;is
between the two countrle! be
come strained. Paring this crltlca'
perbd .Tap-in fur'her def-hires him!'
clieis are really mutton chops, nnd fif
teen minutes later, before we have
time to cull her a liar, she deelnret
war and starts a tleet for Han Fran
Isco. Then what follows?"
"Your Hying ostriches come into
piny."
What Ostriches Could Oo.
"iOxai'iiy. my dear woman. You have
.1 head on you. A hundred flying os-frichi.-'i.
each with a 500 pound dyna
mite s:e!l In his claws, starts out to"
meet the fleet. The fleet is sighted,
the shells dropped, and Japan Isn't
heard of. again for the next hundred
years. Do wo wnnt anything better?
With a hundred ostriches trained to
fly and do the work we can make 4i!l.
the other nations on the face of the
earth i huke In their boots."
"What name are you going to give
It?" seriously Inquired Sirs. Bowser.
"I have already selected that, i
shall call It the Bowserplant. That
gives you half the honors. By thunder,
woman,' but we've hit It we've surely
bit It! 'No blamed old flying machines
for us, but we simply turn an ostrich
loose nnd tell him to got there. The
world has been fooling around over a
hundred years to solve a problem that
we have made clear in ten minutes."
"But I should like to hear what oth
ers say alMiut it."
"And so you shall. I'm going over
and state the case to the druggist. He
once invented a flying machine him
self nnd has always been Interested:'
I'll bet I Jump him out of his hoots." .
Mr. Bowser departed at once. He
didn't propose to let that ostrich ideu.i:
get cold. . He went out: saying that he,
would be back in "half an hour." but
thut time passed then another half,
hour, then n full hour. Then Sirs.
Bowser nnd the cat went to the front
door to see if anything could bo seen:
of him. On the front steps was a hud
dled figure with the rain beating down
on it. Mrs. Bowser took it by the arm
and assisted It into the ball, nnd after
a look by the gaslight she exclaimed:
."Why,1 Sir. Bowser, what's the mat
ter?" " -"''. , ' i" ' ,
-'Your lawyer! he hissed as he lenri:'
ed against the wall. "Your lawyer-''
my lawyer divorce alimony!"
And as she stood gasping for breath
he wearily tolled up the stalrsr until,
lost to sight. The druggist must have
said something to crush him.
e - . t , .- M. QUAD.
, . - i..'iM
8he Was' Wise.
"Miss Fish." remarked the young
man as he placed his hnt on his head
and prepared to depart for home. "I
proposed for your hand two hours agt
and I await your answer-wltb bated
breath."
"Mr. Smollchange." smiled the voting
lady, "I'm afraid you will have to ball
your breath with something besides
onions nnd cloves to catch this kinu
of a flsh."--Jndge. ' ' 1
' - Up In the Air.
LandiublMT Seems tn me I hear
muolc. '
;The Professor Tim I didn't think
we were up high enough for that yetl
-Harper's Weekly.
Of waited on rigt aw
sweat. No i att-; Ix. r
anybody was tciii .-. he
to atop j i ;,n n
Off the Boards.
"The performer In the Christmas
pantomime who swallows the three
(words at once-came near choking to
1 cont't 1 ? .tWflrra,DgC
A a Kturri Uiroair
fits nrord stack tn hit
v.:'yoT fur tin
- mcilman frrtin the First ward for
ti e i ri of two years.
A cnuncilnmn from tlio Socoml vnir
(T tlio tt-rm of two vears.
A I'ouiieilman from tho Thir.l wanl
for tho torm of two vears.
Ami such other measures as shall be
lawfully submitted at sahl eleetiou.
Tho following polling places, jinlgot;
itiul clerks are hereby designateil for
tho several respective wards:
First ward Foiling place. Commer
cial club, room 3; judge W. H. French;
,lanu- : jude and clerk, Wiiu Ulrich.
tin of ! Third ward Foiling idaco, Citv Hall:
U-rm of two year. ; indi'-', (i. L. Hchermerhom : indiro and
lcr't, Scott Davis; judge ami clerk, II.
A. Thieroff.
Tho foregoing resolution was passed
by tho city council December 2(lth, 1908
by tho following vote, to-wit: Wort man
ayo, Merrick aye, Kifert aye. Trow
bridgo aye, 01 well absent, Hafer ab
siont. Approved:
J. P. KKDDY, Mayor. ,
Attest:
HKNJ. M. COLLINS,
Recorder,
More Light for Less Money
Sixty-three per cent of electric current saved by using
TUNGSTEN LAMPS.'
32 Candle Power Edison Lamp uses 110
Watts per hour and would use iu iooo hrs.
110 Kilowatts which at iocts. a Kilowatt
32 Candle Power Tungsten Lamp uses
40 Watts perhour and would use in iooo
hours 40 Kilowatts which at ioc a Kilo
watt ; .: .:. .'.
Net Saving in iooo hours in favor of, the
Tungsten Lamp... $ 7
Rogue River Electric Co.
"Successors to Condor Water & Power Co.
Office, 20G West Seventh Street. Phone No. 355.
Opposite the ,J3ig Electric Sign. ,., .
Hot Air :
. ..." .-.
Won't Raise
The Wind
1 'You .can. raise the wind better by buying Med
ford property at "present prices and sit down at
your own fireside until the advance comes next
spring. "v, " ' ' f
There's always "something doing" in Medford,
and indications are that the coming year will see
more building, more street and sidewalk improve
ment and a-J.greater advance in values in Medford
than, ever before. ';.
Fall in line and don't let the procession run
over you. 4 -'-
ROGUE Rllf R tn CCMKY
EXHIBIT BUILDING ' '
A Map of ;?Jackson
County
The Tribune and Southern Oregonian ia
having made at great expense a fine, colored,
lithographed map of Jackson county.
'- This map will show all cities, towns and
villages, rivers and waterways, 'section and
survey lines, railroads an4 projected rail-
- roads, wagon roads, forest reserve bounda
ries, election precincts and other data need
ed by everyone.' All townships shown in
colors. , ' '
.' r This up-to-date map will ''hp ready for
distribution some time ir..,D'ii!lir.':-It will
be sold only through : The Tribune and
Southern Oregonian. " .. ; ,
This will be your only chance to secure a
good map of Jaekton county, as all mp edi
tions are out of print and plates were des
troyed in the San Francisco fire, necessitat-
- rag new plates md at an enormous ezpenae.
Purthw details hvter, Ready soob.
Furniture Drops !
Great bargains before we move. Watch our win
dows for specials. An elegant line of
Fine Display of Rockers
Medford Furniture Co.
I HAVE ON HAND
Newtown Pippin
-AND-
Spitzenburg Trees
THREE AND POUR-FOOT SIZES ''
ALL OTHER VARIETIES IN ANY
: : : SIZE DESIRED : :
L. E. HOOVER
MEDFORD, OREGON. '
Agent Yakima Valley Nursery.
AT THE SERVICE OF -
DEPOSTITORS AND CLIENTS
" Stat Depositary.
CAPITAL AND BUBPLUS
. .... vras.ooo
Tho Jaoliaon County Bank nlaena at'
tho oervico of Ha d'puaitora and client
tho boat facUitioa in bunking. The of
f ice'a are pleased to render coiidbcI and
advice on financial mutton. '
Acconnta, aubjo-t to check, aor in
vitcd. - ' . ...
- Safe depoait bozea to rent, $4 per
year ana op. , .
W. I. VAWTER, Preaidut
0. S. LINDLEY, Caahl.r '
BAT1 ST ACTION
la nlwnya a pleasurable aennation, no
matte? what the occasion. Thure'or?,
to inaure the fooling where jowolry ia
concerned, woo ehould mako your aelec
tion from the etock of Martin J. RedHy.
Our goods hare the charm of effective
(Heea, the Tolue of artiatie excellence and
the higheat atandard of workmanHhip,
MARTIN J. REBDY
" " Jewelry and Watches
NEW YBAB'8 DAY FORMALITIES
feqnlre aud etiquette 1 deoinnda that
proper reepect be pafd' to your drru
Whon calling or attending any function
sn that day. Therefore pnrfuet fitting
clothes must be worn. To procure euch
garment ytu muit employ a tailor tbor
migUyiTenad in the requirements of
tyle and, fashion. Ilave your ward
robo mada by Kreuzcr k Co. aad you
will b .eonarioua of what it ia to be
.perfeftly d rented. t
J. A. Kreuzcr 6 Co.
Importers and Dealers
PALM BOTLDttro, laXDFO&D. OB