LOCAL
A8 — THE OBSERVER
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 23, 2021
VOICES
In it for the long haul
By ANN WHITE
ANYONE CAN WRITE
Special to The Observer
Nearly 40 years in the business have taught me that readers are bom-
barded and overwhelmed with facts. What we long for, though, is
meaning and a connection at a deeper and more universal level.
And that’s why The Observer will be running, from time to time, stories
from students who are in my writing class, which I’ve been teaching for the
past 10 years in Portland.
I take great satisfaction in helping so-called nonwriters fi nd and write sto-
ries from their lives and experiences. They walk into my room believing
they don’t have what it takes to be a writer. I remind them if they follow
their hearts, they will discover they are storytellers.
As we all are at our core.
Some of these stories have nothing to do with La Grande or Union County.
They do, however, have everything to do with life.
If you are interested in contacting me to tell me your story, I’d like to hear
from you.
Tom Hallman Jr.
tbhbook@aol.com
Tom Hallman Jr. is a Pulitzer Prize-winning feature writer for The Oregonian.
He’s also a writing coach and has an affi nity for Union County.
We didn’t have a perfect
marriage. Who does? We
had our ups and downs, but
we were always a team and
faced challenges together —
we made decisions together.
We had fun together; we
followed our dreams and
had a full life, fi lled with
family and friends. I was
married to the love of my
life for 45 years.
As a widow, I miss not
having anyone to share
the end of the day with, to
check in and compare our
highs and lows. I miss his
corny jokes, his loyal com-
panionship, touching base
throughout the day, dis-
cussing our plans, his
thoughtful gestures like
red roses on Valentine’s
Day, walking on the beach,
holding hands, the cud-
dles and the connection we
shared.
Meals are lonely but I
still cook, and shop even
though I am not sure when
my kids will be able to come
for dinner. All I really must
worry about is me and my
dog, Dixie.
My husband was a
banker, he fi led all our taxes,
managed our investments. I
managed our travels, social
life, and family business.
When he died, I was totally
unprepared for all that lay
ahead. When you are part of
a team, (we tend to delegate
certain responsibilities and
we work with our strengths)
suddenly you are faced with
picking up the other half.
There was never a year, I
didn’t thank my husband
profusely for fi ling our taxes
— he spent hours tabulating,
researching, calculating
and then sending a phone
book size pile of papers to
the IRS. That has become
an annual challenge and a
painful reminder of one of
the many losses. I have had
to put on my big girl pants
and take charge of things;
make fi nancial decisions that
normally we would have dis-
cussed together — the pros
and cons.
When death arrives at
your doorstep the imme-
diate needs are to hold it
together and have a funeral.
My husband died in a hos-
pital in Bangkok after the 29
days on the roller coaster in
the Intensive Care Unit. In
the end, it was a traumatic
death.
His wishes clearly out-
lined in his US Advanced
Healthcare Directive were
not followed. The doctors
had already said there was
nothing more they could do.
So why not let us be together
in peace for those fi nal
moments? However, it was
counter to “hospital policy.”
Instead of allowing him a
peaceful death, they per-
formed CPR pounding his
chest with a team of three
orderlies until my son and I
could not take it. We begged
them to stop.
I was not unfamiliar with
being at the bedside of loved
ones. First with my father,
the night he died; then my
mother — when my sister
and I were nuzzled next to
her in her queen size bed
as she took her last breaths.
Then with my mother-in-law
who I was able to spend her
last fi ve days in Hopewell
House a beautiful hospice
home. She had the most
peaceful death of them all.
Sacred Flight had sent a
harpist to play by her bed-
side as the family gathered
around her. My husband and
I were on each side of the
bed holding her hand as she
took her last breath.
The funeral rituals and
ceremonies for my husband
lasted fi ve day and I am sure
he would have been moved
by all with the outpouring
of love from the hundreds
of people who attended,
his colleagues that spon-
sored diff erent nights and
the many contributions and
support that were freely
forthcoming.
It has been six years
since my husband died
and, in that time, I resolved
the estate, closed our Thai
company, I downsized our
living space and moved to a
smaller apartment; shipped
the excess furniture to our
“retirement home” in Port-
land; and then over two
years closed my Marriage
and Family Counseling
practice; and fi nally said
goodbye to our amazing and
supportive circle of friends
that were our other family.
In 2018, I shipped the rest
of our life’s accumulations
back to the US and offi cially
retired to Portland. I have
been trying to make a dif-
ferent life than the one we
had as a couple. COVID was
another blip on the screen —
life has not been normal for
some time.
COVID-19
Vaccine
Other vaccine events offered in December:
Location: Center for Human Development
Time: 10:00 am to 2:00 pm every Friday with the exception of New Year’s Eve
in addition to Christmas Eve.
Additional options: Scheduled appointments available throughout the week.
Vaccines offered: 1st dose, 2nd dose, 3rd doses and booster vaccines. All
Covid vaccine configurations will be available including pediatric vaccination.
Other pediatric and adult immunizations also available at CHD.
CDC General Vaccine Info:
COVID-19 vaccines are effective
COVID 19-vaccines are effective and can reduce the risk of getting and
spreading the virus that causes COVID-19. Learn more about the different
COVID-19 vaccines.
COVID-19 vaccines also help children and adults from getting seriously ill
even if they do get COVID-19.
While COVID-19 tends to be milder in children than adults, it can make
children very sick, require hospitalization, and some children have even died.
Children with underlying medical conditions are more at risk for severe illness
compared to children without underlying medical conditions.
Getting children ages 5 years and older vaccinated can help protect them
from serious short- and long-term complications.
Getting everyone ages 5 years and older vaccinated can protect families and
communities, including friends and family who are not eligible for vaccination
and people at increased risk for severe illness from COVID-19.
Booster Information from CDC:
Fast Facts Everyone age 18 and older is eligible for a COVID-19 vaccine booster beginning Nov. 20,
2021. Some people are strongly advised get a booster dose to protect themselves and others. You
can choose which vaccine to get. The COVID-19 vaccines are extraordinarily effective at preventing
serious illness, hospitalization and death. That said, we are seeing immunity drop over time, espe-
cially in people over age 50 and those with compromised immune systems who are more likely to
experience severe disease, hospitalization and death. For these people, another dose boosts their
immunity, sometimes greater than what was achieved after the primary, two-dose series. Health
experts strongly recommend people over age 50, people over 18 who live in long-term care facil-
ities, and anyone who received one dose of the Johnson & Johnson vaccine get a booster dose.
Younger, healthy people may also get a booster dose to protect themselves and others. A booster
will re-build neutralizing antibodies that strengthen the body’s ability to fight getting a breakthrough
case. Even if you’re not at high risk, you could be infected and then pass it on to others, such as
children too young to be vaccinated, the elderly, or people who are immunocompromised. Booster
doses help people maintain strong immunity to disease longer. The first vaccine series built up
the immune system to make the antibodies needed to fight the disease. Over time, the immune
response weakens. A booster dose stimulates the initial response and tends to result in higher
antibody levels that help people maintain their immunity longer. Boosters take about two weeks to
bring up the immune response. This continues to be studied, but we can reliably say it takes two
weeks to bring the immune response up to or better than that after the primary series.
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