Opinion
4A
Thursday, February 25, 2021
Our View
Ellen Morris Bishop/For The Observer
The Grande Ronde River flows here about 8 miles be-
low Troy. A bill from Oregon U.S. Sens. Ron Wyden and
Jeff Merkley would expand the National Wild and Sce-
nic Rivers System, designating about 42 miles of the
Grande Ronde River as Wild where it runs through the
Umatilla and/or Wallowa Whitman national forests.
New river
protections may
have unintended Other Views
consequences
The victims of so-called ‘cancel culture’
O
regon lawmakers at the state and national
level need to do far more work regarding
unintended consequences when they craft
new legislation.
That isn’t an easy task, especially when a pol-
itician is trying to get reelected, salve the often-
sharp political edges of his constituents, or is
besieged by special interest groups.
Yet, it is a real issue that typically goes unno-
ticed until a piece of legislation becomes law.
Then, the unintended consequences are obvious
and a whole new set of problems exist.
A good case in point is a recent proposal by
Democratic Sens. Ron Wyden and Jeff Merkley
to add more than 4,000 miles of Oregon rivers
and streams to the National Wild and Scenic
Rivers system.
The bill is set to greatly expand the amount
of terrain protected from a quarter-mile strip on
each side of a specific river to one-half mile.
At first glance there is something in the bill
for everyone. The fears of environmentalists are
assuaged, hikers and other outdoor enthusiasts
will see their favorite pristine piece of land near a
river safeguarded, and it’s a giant step forward in
terms of conservation.
A lingering question, though, should be,
“What would be the unintended consequences to
this legislation?” If you are an environmentalist,
the answer would be none. However, if you are
not firmly rooted in the conservation camp, what
does such a bill really mean?
Wyden said in a press release regarding the bill
that Oregonians made it “loud and clear: They
cherish Oregon’s rivers and want them protected
for generations to come.”
Wyden is probably correct. Generally, most
people want to see our rivers and mountains pro-
tected from damage, not only now but for future
generations.
Still, what Oregonians made it “loud and
clear?” Umatilla County? Morrow County? Folks
in Union County? If so, how many?
Let’s be clear. We are not in opposition to the
bill. What we do hope is the lawmakers who have
carefully — we hope — crafted the legislation
have thought the idea all the way to the end.
Making wide-sweeping proclamations to
appease conservation groups is all well and good,
but the impact of the legislation to the folks
on the ground should be a key question with a
readily available answer.
Too often lawmakers develop a grand idea that
sounds great. On paper it makes everyone happy.
Then it becomes law and someone, somewhere,
loses. We think Wyden’s and Merkley’s legisla-
tion is too important to fall into the category of
unintended consequences.
JASE GRAVES
HUMOR COLUMNIST
A
long with uplifting news sto-
ries about the COVID-19 vari-
ants, former President Donald
Trump’s second impeachment trial
and Tom Brady’s unmitigated gall to
continue winning Super Bowls that
include terrible halftime entertain-
ment, we’ve also been learning about
new victims of the so-called “cancel
culture,” in which individuals are ran-
domly selected to be ostracized from
the “We’re Good and You’re a Stinky
Poo-Poo Head Club” of social and
professional life.
Just recently, “The Mandalorian”
star Gina Carano was “canceled” by
Lucasfilm for her offensive social
media posts — and for having larger
biceps than most of her male co-stars.
(Ironically, Baby Yoda continues to
maintain celebrity status, even after
heartlessly devouring several of the
alien Frog Lady’s tadpole eggs in
season two.)
Instead of wallowing in the con-
troversy of the cancel culture’s incon-
sistencies, I’d like to propose that we
put this phenomenon to good use by
canceling some of the more egregious
annoyances inflicted upon the Amer-
ican people — especially me.
First, I say we cancel the way
laundry detergent bottles hold hos-
tage at least one full underwear load’s
worth of liquid when the container
is supposedly empty. Sure, I could
solve the problem by using those
pre-measured Tide pods, but then I’d
have to worry about my daughters’
two doglets accidentally swallowing
them and destroying even more of my
grass, notwithstanding the yard’s sub-
sequent fresh, clean scent.
Speaking of pets and underwear,
I wish the good Lord would cancel
static electricity during the winter
months. Not only does it cause the
doglets to drag most of the grass they
kill back into the house with them, but
there’s also the problem of its effect
on my wife’s and daughters’ under-
garments. Apparently, ladies’ unmen-
tionables are electrically predisposed
to adhere to the lower inside legs of
my pants when they come out of the
dryer, choosing only to release them-
selves while I’m at work, the gym or
at church. Try explaining that to your
boss — or a deacon.
Another candidate for cancellation
is the practice of restaurants seating
screaming children within shattering
distance of my eardrums. During an
outing for dinner at the local Olive
Garden with my wife and three
teenage daughters, the only screaming
I should hear is my own when I get
the bill. Now, don’t get me wrong. I
understand that families with small
children have every right to go out
to eat at restaurants. I just wish they
were seated in a more distant location,
like Greenland.
Another candidate is the robocall I
get repeatedly from exotic cities like
Snowflake, Arizona, with that guy
claiming he has spent every waking
moment trying to contact me about
my car’s extended warranty. First of
all, what does this dude know about
the non-existent warranty on my
2013 Ford Expedition that vaguely
smells like a wet sock and has a five-
year-old Starbuck’s coffee beverage
stain on the rear floorboard? Secondly,
I really don’t appreciate the massive
letdown I experience after having
been so excited and intrigued that
I’m receiving a call from Snowflake,
Arizona, rather than from one of my
three daughters asking for cash.
In addition to the everyday aggra-
vations noted above, there are
numerous other irritating aspects
of life to criticize and even banish
without turning on our fellow citizens.
While I certainly believe strongly
in accepting consequences for our
choices, I say we follow the example
of the Bible (and my wife when I
screw up) to admonish one another,
bear with one another and ultimately
forgive one another.
In other words, we should hold
fast to our beliefs, accept our differ-
ences and live in a spirit of love
and unity — unless, of course,
you bring your screaming kid with
you to the Olive Garden.
———
Jase Graves is an award-winning
humor columnist from
East Texas. Contact Graves at
susanjase@sbcglobal.net.
encouraged I am to know that there
are young people like this in our midst
and what hope it gives for the future.
I believe it is extremely important to
strive for the kind of behavior Miss
Koltuv is encouraging in our small
communities so that it may carry out
into the wider world. Much apprecia-
tion for her words.
Mary Helen Garoutte
La Grande
Through extensive tests, the foal was
diagnosed with tick fever.
Dr. Omann prescribed a medica-
tion that might help. He said he could
sell me the medication or I could
walk over to Walmart and purchase it
for about one-fourth the cost of what
he would have to charge me. I told
him that I had left in such a hurry I
had not taken my billfold and there-
fore had no money with me. He said
he would walk over and get it for
me. Noon came and here came Mark
with a hamburger, fries and a Coke
for me. When it was decided there
wasn’t much to be done for my foal,
Mark rode in the horse trailer from
La Grande to Elgin with the foal and
a car followed to return him to La
Grande.
Not many vets would do what he
did for me.
That day I stopped calling him my
vet and started calling him my friend,
who just happens to be a vet.
Dale Thamert
Elgin
Letters
We all should listen to
Miri Koltuv
Upon reading the recent letter
to the editor from Miri Koltuv con-
cerning inclusion and fairness, I was
extremely impressed by her astute
assessment of the issues of race,
gender, sexual orientation, class, etc.
Her urgings that “everyone should be
treated equally regardless of things
they can’t control” was especially
insightful. For a seventh grader to
have such an intelligent grasp of the
intricacies of these important sub-
jects is to be commended.
The last sentence of her letter
sums it up very well, and I quote, “I
hope that our community can come
together to support inclusion and fair-
ness for everyone, even when it is not
a trending hashtag.” I would like to
think that we as a community will
follow her lead and support her in
making an effort to treat everyone
equally and fairly.
My last thought is to say how
Dr. Omann is an amazing
man, vet and friend
I want to commend The Observer
on Dick Mason’s article (Feb. 2, 2021
edition) about Dr. Mark Omann.
What an amazing man. I would like
to share an experience I had with Dr.
Omann.
I awoke one morning to see my
two-month-old mule foal laying on the
ground not able to move. In a panic, I
hooked up the horse trailer, loaded the
mare and literally packed the foal in
the trailer and headed to Dr. Omann.