8B — THE OBSERVER & BAKER CITY HERALD
SATuRDAY, JunE 20, 2020
COFFEE BREAK
Sorrow consumes couple’s lives after son’s suicide
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I
lost our son to suicide a few years
ago. We have never gotten over it.
I have recovered somewhat and
would like to resume
having intimate
relations, but she’s
not that far along.
I no longer feel
there’s any reason
to continue on this
earth. There is no point to my
being here. I think about suicide
daily. I have been told that if I
were going to do this and hurt my
family as my son did, I would’ve
already done it.
My wife and I have been cast
into a hell that’s impossible to
bear. There is no way to describe
the pain, anger and sorrow we
feel. I want to die because I feel
the world would be a better place
without my sorrowful self taking
up resources. I have sought help
ever since we lost my son, and
have been taking all kinds of
medication that I
no longer want to
take. Is there a way
DEAR
out other than my
ABBY
option?
— BEYOND
DEPRESSED
DEAR BEYOND
DEPRESSED: Please accept my
deepest sympathy for the tragic
loss of your son. I cannot imagine
the hell you and your wife are
going through.
Because you can’t get the
thought of suicide out of your
mind, it is very important that you
receive more help than I can give
you in a letter. Your doctor should
be put on notice about your issue
with your medications.
Also, a group that might be
helpful for you and your wife is
the American Foundation for Sui-
cide Prevention. If you contact
them, they can refer you to a local
support group for people who are
surviving a loved one’s suicide.
The website is afsp.org. If, how-
ever, you feel you have reached a
point where harming yourself is
imminent, I urge you to call the
National Suicide Prevention Life-
line at 800-273-8255. Please don’t
give up.
DEAR ABBY: I have two chil-
dren. One is 6, and the other is an
infant. My 6-year-old is kind but
mischievous at times. I am a firm
believer that children need loving
parents, but also parents who dis-
cipline when it’s needed.
My mother recently came to
live with me and my husband. She
helps out a lot, but she is causing
some confusion in our home. She
doesn’t discipline my 6-year-old
when needed. In fact, she often
acts like a child herself when she
should be acting like an adult.
This issue causes my 6-year-old
to sometimes be disrespectful.
When my husband and I hear
the smart-mouth talk, we address
it, but there’s only so much we can
do when my mother won’t take an
adult role. I have had several con-
versations with her about it, but
nothing changes. I don’t want her
to leave, but I’m afraid her atti-
tude toward parenting and disci-
pline will cause some real prob-
lems in my home. Please help.
— DISCIPLINED IN
VIRGINIA
DEAR DISCIPLINED: Con-
tinue the conversation with your
mother. Explain that although
she may think you are too strict
with your older child, you are that
child’s mother, and this is the way
you want the child raised. Then
tell her that if enforcing the rules
is too much for her, she may have
to find other living arrangements.
Talk to your child, as well. Make
sure he/she understands that the
rules come from his/her parents
and no one else.
I am troubled by your state-
ment that your mother sometimes
acts like a child. I wish you had
mentioned why she’s living with
you. If you suspect there’s a pos-
sibility she might be experiencing
the onset of dementia, INSIST
that she be evaluated by a physi-
cian and a neurologist to ensure
that she’s well.
Deaths prompt Alaska officials to remove ‘Into the Wild’ bus
By Mark Thiessen
and Becky Bohrer
Associated Press
ANCHORAGE, Alaska
— An abandoned bus in the
Alaska wilderness where
a young man documented
his demise over 114 days
in 1992 has been removed
by officials, frustrated that
the bus has become a lure
for dangerous, sometimes
deadly pilgrimages into
treacherous backcountry.
An Alaska National
Guard Chinook helicopter
flew the bus out of the
woods just north of Denali
National Park and Preserve
on Thursday.
Christopher McCand-
less hiked to the bus
located about 250 miles
north of Anchorage nearly
three decades ago, and
the 24-year-old Virginian
died from starvation when
he couldn’t hike back out
because of the swollen
Teklanika River. He kept
a journal of his plight, dis-
covered when his body was
found. McCandless’ story
was first documented in Jon
Krakauer’s 1996 book “Into
the Wild,” followed by Sean
Photo by Sgt. Seth LaCount/Alaska National Guard via AP
Alaska Army National Guard soldiers use a CH-47 Chinook helicopter Thursday to re-
moved an abandoned bus, popularized by the book and movie “Into the Wild,” from its
location in the Alaska backcountry as part of a training mission.
Penn’s movie of the same
name in 2007.
Over the years, the bus
became a magnet for those
wishing to retrace McCand-
less’ steps to the bus to pay
homage. But the Teklanika
River that prevented
McCandless from hiking
out also has caused prob-
lems for people who came
later on pilgrimages. Two
women, one from Switzer-
land in 2010 and one from
Belarus in 2019, drowned
on such pilgrimages.
State officials said there
have been 15 other search-
and-rescue operations
since 2009, including one
involving five Italian tour-
ists last winter, one with
severe frostbite.
“We encourage people
to enjoy Alaska’s wild areas
safely, and we understand
the hold this bus has had
on the popular imagina-
tion,” Department of Nat-
ural Resources Commis-
sioner Corri A. Feige said
in a statement. “However,
this is an abandoned and
deteriorating vehicle that
was requiring dangerous
and costly rescue efforts,
but more importantly, was
costing some visitors their
lives.”
In Alaska, the Depart-
ment of Natural Resources
is responsible for protecting
and preserving state land.
“I was stunned when
Commissioner Feige
informed me,” Carine
McCandless, Christopher’s
sister, said in an email
to The Associated Press.
“Though I am saddened
by the news, the deci-
sion was made with good
intentions, and was cer-
tainly theirs to make. That
bus didn’t belong to Chris
and it doesn’t belong to his
family.”
The 1940s-era bus,
sometimes called “Bus 142”
or “The Magic Bus,” was
used to house employees
by the Yutan Construction
Co. when it built an access
road about 25 miles west
of the Parks Highway, the
main thoroughfare between
Anchorage and Fairbanks.
The National Guard named
Thursday’s bus lift “Opera-
tion Yutan.”
The bus was abandoned
in 1961 and had become an
emergency shelter for those
using the backcountry to
recreate or hunt.
“Seeing those photos of
Fairbanks 142 flying out of
the bush triggered a flood
of complicated emotions for
me,” Krakauer said in an
email to the AP.
Krakauer said he
respects the decision to
remove the bus, “but some
powerful history is attached
to that old bus. A great
many people care deeply
about what happens to it.”
For now the bus is being
kept in a secure, unnamed
location while the depart-
ment decides what to do
with it, Feige said. A release
from the Alaska National
Guard said the discussion
includes “possible plans
to display the bus for the
public to view at a safe
location.”