COFFEE BREAK
8B — THE OBSERVER & BAKER CITY HERALD
SATuRDAY, JunE 13, 2020
Sister fears for young niece being raised in toxic home
DEAR ABBY: After many
years, my sister and I finally have
a decent relationship. I feel I can
tell her about almost anything.
My broth-
er-in-law, “Aaron,”
is an alcoholic, and
my sister enables
him. When he
drinks, his already
quick temper
becomes worse and he “knows
everything.” To make things
worse, they have a 3-year-old
child I’ll call “Casey.” It infuri-
ates me when I see Aaron’s crude,
foul-mouthed, “omnipotent”
behavior in front of Casey.
There have been times he
has used my presence (because
I babysit Casey) to drink to the
point of impairment. When Casey
has a tantrum or is overtired and
acts her age, Aaron loses patience
with her. He yells at her, slams
things down in front of her and
storms out of the room.
I’m well aware
that children watch
and learn behavior
DEAR
from their parents.
Daughters will
ABBY
seek out boys, then
men who behave
like their father, thinking it
is normal behavior. How do I
approach my sister, who buys
Aaron whiskey when he’s feeling
down, that there’s a serious
problem here?
My husband and I have a
stable home and successfully
raised five children. We would
be willing to take in Casey until
Aaron is truly well. My com-
ments to my sister will be met with
fury or maybe hatred, but I will
do whatever is best for Casey.
I love that little girl too much
to see her raised in such a toxic
environment.
— BETWEEN A DRUNK AND
A HARD PLACE
DEAR BETWEEN: You say
your sister slips her husband
alcohol when he’s down. To me
that says he may be using it to
self-medicate depression.
You DO need to talk with
your sister. When you do, explain
you are concerned about Aar-
on’s change of behavior when
he drinks and the effect it has
— and will continue to have —
on little Casey. Aaron does need
help, but so does your sister.
Enabling someone, as well-inten-
tioned as it may be, is not helping
the person.
Aaron needs to talk to a doctor
about his episodes of depression,
and your sister could gain a great
deal of insight by attending some
Al-Anon meetings. You can find
one nearby by visiting al-anon.
org. Offer to go with her if she’s
reluctant.
DEAR ABBY: I am in an inter-
racial relationship (I’m black,
and she’s white/Hispanic). We
have been together for a year.
She has met just about all my
family and all of my friends, but I
have only met four people in her
life. She has a lot of friends on
social media, but no one knows
about me. She never posts pic-
tures of us or even hints anything
about me. She is friends with
her ex-boyfriend, and she knows
about his girlfriend, but he has no
clue about me. No one does. I feel
like I’m her invisible man.
She comes from a “country”
background, and I’m afraid she is
embarrassed or ashamed of me.
Am I reading too much into this,
or should I be concerned that she
may not be into me as much as
I am into her? We were talking
about getting married.
— INVISIBLE MAN IN TEXAS
DEAR INVISIBLE MAN:
Something isn’t right here. You
say you “were” talking about get-
ting married. Are you still talking
about it? I find it peculiar that
after being together for a year, you
haven’t met her family, you have
met so few of her friends and she
has posted nothing about you on
social media. The time has come
to ask her the reason and whether
your romance may have run its
course.
Pint-sized powerhouse: 11-year-old competes in rock climbing
By Jason Vondersmith
Portland Tribune via AP
StoryShare
PORTLAND — Reeder
Smith started climbing the
walls at age 5.
Now 11, he has com-
peted in rock climbing com-
petitions throughout the
country and is part of the
Multnomah Athletic Club
team. He’s a veteran of the
(indoors) scaling commu-
nity. Been there, done that
— it was time to try some-
thing new. Reeder wanted to
be a ninja.
In the past couple years,
the Sauvie Island resident
has been part of the NBC
Universal Kids show “Amer-
ican Ninja Warrior Junior,”
in which competitors tackle
intricate, difficult obstacles
en route to the finish line.
It’s a spinoff of the hugely
popular NBC show “Amer-
ican Ninja Warrior.”
Reeder has advanced
to the finals in the cur-
rent show, which aired
at 6 p.m. Friday. It was
taped last summer in Los
Angeles, when Reeder was
10 and competed in the 9- to
10-year-old category.
Yep, Portland has a
ninja warrior, and he’s fin-
ishing up sixth grade at
Valley Catholic School in
Beaverton.
“I made it to the semi-
finals last year, top 16,”
Reeder said. “It’s really cool
that I managed to get this
opportunity to compete on
‘American Ninja Warrior
Junior.’ A lot of people want
to do it. I challenge myself
and push myself to my
limits.”
Reeder lives with his par-
ents and 10-year-old twin
brothers, Colton and Slater,
who also compete at ninja
gym competitions, as well
as compete in gymnastics at
Multnomah Athletic Club.
Portland’s top gyms for ninja
types are Skyhook Ninja Fit-
ness in Tigard and Urban
Warrior in Milwaukie.
It also helps that the
Smiths have an ever-ex-
panding course — monkey
bars, salmon ladders, rock
walls, etc., in the backyard
of the family’s property on
Sauvie Island.
“We love watching him
MORE
INFORMATION
• For more: univer-
salkids.com/shows/
american-ninja-warrior-junior.
• Another informative web-
site: ninjaguide.com.
Photo by Portland Tribune via AP StoryShare
Indoor rock climber Reeder Smith, 11, of Portland, is part
of the NBC Universal Kids show “American Ninja Warrior
Junior.”
do something he loves
and he’s passionate about,
and he works really hard,”
said Thao Smith, Reeder’s
mother. “We’re not ninjas,
but our kids love it.”
The young Reeder
“climbed on everything
at home, everywhere. I
call him, ‘my monkey,’”
his mother added. Reeder
attended a recreational
climbing class, and the
coach said he climbed well
and wanted him to join the
MAC team. Reeder started
rock climbing competitively
at age 7.
He trains 10 months
out of the year, competing
locally, regionally and
nationally in such places as
Seattle, Utah and Georgia.
“I saw a lot of people
on the (‘Ninja Warrior’)
show were talented rock
climbers,” he said. “I
thought I could try it out,
and be good at it.”
The “American Ninja
Warrior Junior” obstacle
course includes the
Shrinking and Floating
Steps, the Little Dipper,
Spider Wall, Double Tilt
Ladders, Crazy Cliffhanger,
the Block Run, Flying
Squirrel, Wingnuts and
Skyhooks.
“It’s pretty difficult. Some
obstacles are hard on the
upper body, some target your
lower body,” Reeder said.
His favorites are the Little
Dipper, “where you have to
hold this bar and ride down
this moving net and jump
to a cargo net,” and Flying
Squirrel, “where you hang
from a set of handles and
jump from one to one.”
The Block Run “is chal-
lenging for me. It’s this
long beam, and you have to
run across these swinging
blocks. My balance isn’t one
of my strengths; I’ve been
working on it, I want to
become more balanced,” he
added.
Reeder wants to continue
competing in ninja competi-
tions “as a hobby,” and per-
haps eventually compete
on “American Ninja War-
rior” as an adult. He watches
“American Ninja Warrior”
and dreams big.
“Some of my friends do it
recreationally,” he said, “but
I’m one of the only ones who
does it competitively.”
Said Thao Smith: “He
always talks about that
it’s his focus in life and he
wanted to be on the show —
‘Now I’m a kid, and I get to
do what I love.’”