8B — THE OBSERVER & BAKER CITY HERALD
THuRSDAY, MAY 14, 2020
COFFEE BREAK
Wife laughs off man’s pleas to end their long marriage
DEAR ABBY: I have a problem
I can’t fix. I have been married for
54 years. For the last 20 we have
slept in different bedrooms. I get
no affection from
my wife, and every-
thing has to be her
way. We no longer
have anything in
common except our
children and grand-
children who, for the most part,
come to me only when they need
something.
Over the years, we have drifted
apart, and there is no longer any-
thing we enjoy doing together. I
have told her many times that for
my mental health we should part
ways. She laughs and shrugs it
off. To her I am a paycheck.
She thinks we don’t have
a problem. Her parents lived
pretty much the same way. I need
someone who will sit with me
when we go out to dinner, hold
hands in public, have a couple of
similar interests, share the same
bed, etc.
I have met a
woman online who
DEAR
seems to care and
ABBY
who wants to be
with me. I haven’t
followed through,
but every time I’m verbally
abused, it’s pushing me more and
more toward her. Help.
— UNHAPPY
DEAR UNHAPPY: Tell your
wife you are making an appoint-
ment with a licensed marriage and
family therapist to discuss your
marital situation. It may be the
wakeup call she needs to get her
to quit laughing and pay attention
to the fact that you are seriously
unhappy. Ask her to go with you,
but if she refuses, follow through
and go without her. It may help
you emotionally as you disengage
from this marriage.
If you do end the marriage,
recognize there will have to be a
fair distribution of any assets that
accumulated and be prepared to
discuss your options with more
than one lawyer. A word of cau-
tion, however: Do NOT immedi-
ately rush into a romantic relation-
ship with someone you know only
through the internet. It is crucial
that you take the necessary time
to detoxify and regain your bal-
ance after you exit this marriage.
DEAR ABBY: My mom passed
away a year and a few months
ago. My parents were married for
38 years. Dad started a whirlwind
romance with a lady about nine
months after Mom’s death. Their
relationship lasted three months,
and they were supposed to get
married. She blindsided him by
breaking the engagement a month
before the wedding. The breakup
was because she still has feel-
ings for an ex-husband and had
nothing to do with my dad. He
keeps talking to her “as a friend,”
but he is miserable because he’s
in love with her. Ever since the
breakup, she gets nasty and criti-
cizes him about small things. She
is not even a good friend.
I want my father to be happy
and find someone who will love
him. But he continues to call and
text this woman, even though
it makes him sink deeper into
depression every day. He keeps
thinking she’ll take him back, but
I don’t see it happening. How can
I convince Daddy to cut off all
contact with her?
— WHAT’S BEST FOR DAD
DEAR WHAT’S BEST: I’m
not sure you are the person to do
that. It might be better to enlist
the aid of a male relative or close
friend — someone who knows
what has been going on. Your
father might be more receptive to
that message if he hears it from a
contemporary. If not, he may have
to learn his lesson the hard way.
DEAR READERS: For those
of you having trouble coping with
stress and anxiety during this
challenging time, Jack Drescher,
M.D., respected psychiatrist, psy-
choanalyst and member of the
American Psychoanalytic Asso-
ciation, contacted me offering
a resource for emotional health
matters related to the coronavirus
crisis. For more information, go
to psychologytoday.com/us/blog/
psychoanalysis-unplugged-0.
— LOVE, ABBY
Stampede: People flock to Wildlife Safari in spite of stay-home guidelines
West Coast’s only
operating open-air
animal park broke
single-day records
J
By Jon Mitchell
The News-Review via AP
StoryShare
WINSTON — Dan Van
Slyke couldn’t help but
smile when he talked ear-
lier this week about a recent
resurgence of Wildlife
Safari.
“No doubt about it, we’re
saving people’s lives,” said
the executive director of
the drive-through animal
preserve.
To be clear, Van Slyke
wasn’t talking about
something like a cure for
COVID-19, the virus that
started a worldwide pan-
demic. He was talking
about how his park is pro-
viding a cure for sheer
boredom, which arguably
became just as contagious
as the epidemic thanks to
the social distancing and
stay-at-home orders put into
AP Photo by Jon Mitchell
A visitor stops April 6 with a carload of Wildlife Safari guests at the lion exhibit of the
open-air animal park in Winston.
place around the world.
“If you’re in Portland
and you’re stuck in a house
and you’re going crazy, you
can come down here,” he
said. “We’re saving lives
of kids, we’re saving mar-
riages. This is all about
mental health. That’s what
we’re doing.”
The park, which opened
in 1972, is the only drive-
through animal park
in Oregon and the only
open-air animal park on
the West Coast that’s still
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open. Park officials have
embraced the park’s tradi-
tional sales pitch of “you
are captive, they roam free”
as if it was made for a once-
in-a-century pandemic.
Van Slyke, at one point,
when Gov. Kate Brown
originally issued her “Stay
Home, Stay Healthy” order
in March, wanted to close
the park since many were
under the impression that
everyone needed to remain
indoors. Park officials did
an about-face on that deci-
sion not long afterward,
opting to keep the drive-
through open while closing
the Safari Village.
But as time progressed,
the park opened without
fully opening. Merchan-
dise from the gift shop
was brought out into the
open and put for sale
under a canopy tent, and
anyone working the booth
is required to wear gloves.
On Wednesday, workers at
the kiosk at the front of the
drive-through park wore
masks and gloves. And for
a couple of weekends, food
was being prepared and
served outside of the closed
gates to the Safari Village.
Just the drive-through
portion of the park, how-
ever, was good enough.
Jacob Schlueter, the mar-
keting director for the park,
said the park broke sin-
gle-day attendance records,
with cars extending from
the front gate of the 600-
acre park past the turnoff
near Oregon Highway 42 —
a distance of almost
2 miles.
Park attendees, some of
whom drove in from as far
as Washington and Cali-
fornia, reached more than
4,000 on one day, Van
Slyke said.
Brown’s announcement
on May 7 for phase-by-
phase reopening of Ore-
gon’s businesses forced the
park to change plans again,
however.
Schlueter said even
though some of the park’s
animal encounters have
reopened — private and
small-group sessions with
park staffers and park
patrons are still available —
many large-group encoun-
ters that included groups
of 100 or more won’t be
available since the gover-
nor’s order isn’t allowing
groups of 25 or more until
September.
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