COFFEE BREAK
8B — THE OBSERVER & BAKER CITY HERALD
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 15, 2020
Man’s explosive anger causes
concern for easy going fiancee Witness recalls panic
OREGON
DEAR ABBY: I’m engaged to a wonderful
guy. He is very sweet, and I’m beyond thankful
for him. I wouldn’t trade him for the world.
But he has a character fl aw that’s hard to
ignore. When he gets frustrated, he screams out
loud and takes a while to get himself together.
When he lost his phone on a plane and
was angry for hours, he pouted and scowled
like the world had just ended. I have a very
easygoing personality, and I
don’t understand this type of
behavior. (He contacted his
phone provider, and a new
phone was delivered to him
within 24 hours.)
When I talked to him about his anger, he
said sometimes people get frustrated and
show emotions. He added that he has noticed
this issue, and it’s something he’s been work-
ing on for years. What should I do or say the
next time we encounter a mishap and he
becomes angry?
— WONDERING IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
DEAR WONDERING: Your fi ance may be
a perfectionist or even have a touch of OCD,
which is why he is so hard on himself when
he makes a mistake and becomes frustrat-
ed. For his own sake (and yours), he needs to
fi nd a better way of venting his emotions.
While anger is something everyone expe-
riences at one time or another, most people
start learning to control it during childhood.
While pouting and scowling are accept-
able, your fi ance “screaming” over losing his
cellphone seems over the top. Not only that,
it is intimidating. Your fi ance needs to learn
to channel his emotions more constructively
because if he doesn’t, it may eventually
drive others away. We live in increasingly
stressful times. It takes self-control as
well as maturity to react calmly instead of
exploding. Being in touch with his emotions
will not only help your fi ance calm himself
without losing it, it will also help him main-
tain the respect of others.
after children swept to sea
or hurting her feelings? I’m not a “beat around
the bush” kind of person, and I sometimes lack
the tact of putting things nicely.
— NO TOUCHY-FEELY
DEAR NO TOUCHY-FEELY: To express
your feelings would not be lacking in tact; it
would be setting a boundary. Try this: “I like
you very much, and I know the feelings are
mutual, but I do not like to be touched, and I
want you to stop doing it.”
The Associated Press
PORTLAND — Joanne
Cornelius had just fi nished
taking photos of the breath-
taking waves and extreme
high tide outside her home
on the Oregon Coast when a
frantic woman pounded on
her window and asked her
to call 911.
Children had been
washed out to sea by a wave,
the woman said.
A family visiting from
Portland had been storm-
watching on the remote
beach Saturday when a
powerful wave caught them
by surprise, sweeping the
father, his 4-year-old son
and his 7-year-old daughter
into the surf.
A police offi cer pulled the
girl from the waves, but she
died Saturday at a hospital.
The boy’s body has not been
found, and the U.S. Coast
Guard discontinued the
search Monday. The father,
Jeremy Stiles, 47, survived
and is recovering from hypo-
thermia at a hospital.
“It’s a dangerous beach. It’s
a thing that people have to
be aware of in winter at the
beach at the Oregon Coast.
There’s dangerous waves,
and when the signs are up,
people have a tendency to
walk right by,” said Corne-
lius, who recalled seeing the
family heading toward the
beach a few minutes earlier
as she returned from photo-
graphing the waves.
“It was tragic, just abso-
lutely tragic.”
The family said in a state-
ment on a GoFundMe page
that the family had been
walking on a beach trail when
DEAR
ABBY
DEAR ABBY: I am a
25-year-old college student on
the verge of graduation. Over
the past three months, I have
been dating a slightly younger man (he’s 21).
We get along well, and I thoroughly enjoy his
company. He has never been anything but
kind and supportive.
My parents have an issue with the match.
My boyfriend is Latino, born and raised in a
South American country. He speaks and un-
derstands English well, although speaking it
does make him a little nervous. I speak Span-
ish fl uently, so when we talk to each other, he
speaks in Spanish and I speak in English,
and we have no problem communicating.
My parents think that relationships
(especially marriages) are already hard
enough, and adding cultural differences to
the equation is a dangerous gamble for my
future happiness. They strongly oppose my
continuing my relationship with him. Do you
think their argument is valid?
I’ve looked up statistics that say marriages
between a Latino man and white woman are
the most likely to end in divorce (not that I’m
thinking of marrying him any time soon, but
one of my future goals is to be in a happy mar-
riage, and I realize that you marry who you
date). The idea of ending a relationship with
someone I adore based on statistics is upset-
ting to me. I’d really appreciate your thoughts.
— GROWN-UP IN UTAH
DEAR GROWN-UP: You have been
dating this man for only three months. By
the age of 25, the decision about whom you
decide to eventually marry should be yours,
not your parents’, regardless of how well-
meaning they are. Do not let statistics rule
your life because there are always excep-
tions. Let this play out, and you will have
your answer.
DEAR ABBY: I have a friend and co-worker
who likes to play with my hair, rub my back
and put her hands on me in general. I am not
a touchy-feely kind of person with anyone, and
it makes me very uncomfortable when she
does this. Is there a polite way of telling her to
stop without making her feel uncomfortable
weather
The Associated Press
A Coast Guard helicopter searches for a missing boy
near Falcon Cove Beach in Clastop County.
the waves came crashing in.
The posting identifi ed the
children as William and Lola.
“Our hearts as you can
imagine could not be more
broken as both children were
loved beyond measure by our
entire family and so many
others,” the statement said.
It’s a scenario that plays
out all too often on the
Oregon Coast, a rugged and
treacherous shoreline that is
made more dangerous each
winter by powerful storms
and “sneaker waves” — fast-
moving surges of water that
materialize within seconds
to swallow a seemingly dry
beach with knee-deep water.
In most areas, the beach
is fl anked by steep bluffs
or rocky outcroppings that
make it hard to run away.
On Saturday, a fi erce
storm blowing ashore was
made even more dangerous
because of an unusually
high tide, called a king tide,
that added 11 feet to the
AROUND OREGON AND THE REGION
Astoria
Longview
36/45
Kennewick
36/38
St. Helens
35/37
30/39
28/36
36/40
37/39
Condon
THU
FRI
SAT
SUN
Breezy early;
cloudy
Morning snow,
up to 1”
Clouds and sun;
chilly
Cloudy with a
bit of snow
Cloudy
34 21
35 25
38 25
Eugene
2
0
1
37/41
33 25
33 28
35 22
1
0
1
La Grande
31 39 23
Comfort Index™
Enterprise
0
0
0
29 39 21
Comfort Index™
0
36 22
3
0
3
0
ALMANAC
NATION (for the 48 contiguous states)
High Monday
Low Monday
High: 87°
Low: -18°
Wettest: 5.07”
34°
19°
35°
28°
32°
28°
PRECIPITATION (inches)
Monday
Trace
Month to date
0.11
Normal month to date 0.38
Year to date
0.11
Normal year to date
0.38
Trace
0.66
0.75
0.66
0.75
0.82
4.30
1.41
4.30
1.41
AGRICULTURAL INFO.
HAY INFORMATION THURSDAY
45%
S at 8 to 16 mph
0.4
0.06
RESERVOIR STORAGE (through midnight Tuesday)
Phillips Reservoir
Unity Reservoir
Owyhee Reservoir
McKay Reservoir
Wallowa Lake
Thief Valley Reservoir
Elkton
23% of capacity
45% of capacity
69% of capacity
21% of capacity
41% of capacity
101% of capacity
STREAM FLOWS (through midnight Monday)
Grande Ronde at Troy
1130 cfs
Thief Valley Reservoir near North Powder
82 cfs
Burnt River near Unity
11 cfs
Umatilla River near Gibbon
115 cfs
Minam River at Minam
114 cfs
Powder River near Richland
108 cfs
McAllen, Texas
Cut Bank, Mont.
Andalusia, Ala.
OREGON
High: 50°
Low: 18°
Wettest: 2.04”
Brookings
Burns
Brookings
Powers
37/42
On Jan. 15, 1780, ice in the New York
Harbor was thick enough to allow the
transport of heavy cannons. While river
ice can stop boat traffi c, it can also create
possibilities.
SUN & MOON
WED.
THU.
7:28 a.m. 7:28 a.m.
4:35 p.m. 4:36 p.m.
10:49 p.m.
none
10:44 a.m. 11:11 a.m.
MOON PHASES
Last
Jan 17
New
Jan 24
First
Feb 1
36/45
Full
Feb 8
nee R d E
O
M
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d
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S
,
s
g
n
Show Listi
,
Crosswords
rts
o
p
S
,
h
c
r
a
e
Word S
re...?
o
M
&
s
e
z
z
i
Qu
Jordan Valley
30/38
Paisley
27/35
28/34
Frenchglen
28/36
37/45
Brookings
34/41
City
Astoria
Bend
Boise
Brookings
Burns
Coos Bay
Corvallis
Council
Elgin
Eugene
Hermiston
Hood River
Imnaha
John Day
Joseph
Kennewick
Klamath Falls
Lakeview
FRI.
Hi/Lo/W
45/34/c
37/21/sn
44/30/sf
45/36/r
35/13/sn
45/35/r
40/33/sn
36/23/sf
39/23/sn
41/32/sn
37/25/c
39/28/c
43/22/sn
39/19/sn
38/19/sn
38/26/c
35/13/sn
35/18/sf
Hi/Lo/W
44/39/c
34/29/c
39/27/pc
48/44/c
27/18/c
47/43/c
43/39/c
30/19/c
33/24/pc
46/40/c
40/31/pc
38/31/sn
35/24/pc
34/28/c
30/20/pc
38/27/pc
35/26/c
32/22/c
Grand View
Arock
31/42
27/38
25/37
Klamath Falls
28/35
Lakeview
27/35
McDermitt
Shown is Thursday’s weather. Temperatures are Wednesday night’s lows and Thursday’s highs.
THU.
Diamond
27/36
Fields
Medford
37/45
Boise
34/44
Silver Lake
Chiloquin
Grants Pass
26/37
26/34
25/36
RECREATION FORECAST THURSDAY
REGIONAL CITIES
WEATHER HISTORY
Sunrise
Sunset
Moonrise
Moonset
Beaver Marsh
Juntura
24/35
25/33
23/31
Roseburg
Ontario
32/44
Burns
Brothers
35/39
Coos Bay
Huntington
26/33
27/37
Oakridge
25/36
31/39
Seneca
Bend
MONDAY EXTREMES
TEMPERATURES Baker City La Grande Elgin
Lowest relative humidity
Afternoon wind
Hours of sunshine
Evapotranspiration
Florence
Council
28/38
34/39
27/39
38/45
Comfort Index takes into account how the weather will feel based on a combination of factors. A rating of 10 feels
very comfortable while a rating of 0 feels very uncomfortable.
23/33
John Day
27/40
Sisters
37/40
35 25
29/38
Baker City
Redmond
40/45
Halfway
Granite
36/40
Newport
38/45
31 20
31/40
32/38
37/40
Corvallis
Enterprise
29/39
31/39
Monument
26/37
Idanha
Salem
TONIGHT
0
Elgin
30/39
La Grande
27/35
Maupin
Comfort Index™
33/35
Pendleton
The Dalles
Portland
Newberg
Lewiston
31/40
Hood River
31/35
TIllamook
28 38 21
Forecasts and graphics provided
by AccuWeather, Inc. ©2020
Walla Walla
29/38
Vancouver
34/37
38/44
Baker City
tops of already huge waves,
said Rick Hudson, emergen-
cy manager for the nearby
town of Cannon Beach.
King tides occur when
the sun and moon line up
and their combined grav-
ity makes the tides much
higher and much lower than
normal. They can cause
fl ooding and inundate nor-
mally dry beaches.
The waves at high tide on
Saturday were 15 feet , and
swells further out were up to
40 feet, with winds of about
25 mph, the Coast Guard
said. Sea spray and foam
covered the entire beach,
authorities said.
“When he walked out on
that beach, he may have
seen 20 to 30 feet of beach
that wasn’t occupied by the
highest level of surf and he
may have thought it was
safe, but the sneaker waves
that come up can catch
people off guard,” Hudson
said of Stiles.
City
Lewiston
Longview
Meacham
Medford
Newport
Olympia
Ontario
Pasco
Pendleton
Portland
Powers
Redmond
Roseburg
Salem
Spokane
The Dalles
Ukiah
Walla Walla
THU.
FRI.
Hi/Lo/W
40/29/sn
38/34/c
37/22/sn
41/27/sn
45/34/c
39/29/sn
44/28/sf
38/28/c
35/23/c
40/32/sn
42/34/r
40/21/sn
45/31/r
40/31/c
36/22/sn
36/27/c
36/16/sn
35/28/c
Hi/Lo/W
37/25/pc
41/38/c
32/24/pc
41/35/c
44/41/c
41/37/sn
41/27/c
40/30/pc
38/28/pc
43/39/c
44/41/r
38/31/c
47/41/c
44/41/c
30/19/c
36/30/c
30/23/pc
38/30/pc
Weather(W): s-sunny, pc-partly cloudy, c-cloudy, sh-showers, t-thunderstorms, r-rain,
sf-snow fl urries, sn-snow, i-ice
Check out
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ANTHONY LAKES
PHILLIPS LAKE
A little snow
A bit of snow
23
7
34
17
MT. EMILY REC.
BROWNLEE RES.
Snow, up to 1”
Snow, 1-3”
30
18
40
24
EAGLE CAP WILD.
EMIGRANT ST. PARK
Snow, 1-3”; cold
Snow, up to 1”
26
10
34
17
WALLOWA LAKE
MCKAY RESERVOIR
Snow, 1-3”
Snow, up to 1”
38
19
38
24
THIEF VALLEY RES.
RED BRIDGE ST. PARK
Snow, 1-3”
Snow, up to 1”
38
21
39
23
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EV
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REVERS
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