COFFEE BREAK
8B — THE OBSERVER & BAKER CITY HERALD
FRIDAY, AUGUST 23, 2019
Mother-in-law’s Alzheimer’s keeps couple tied to home
DEAR ABBY: I have been
moved in with you and your
married 35 years. During the
husband until his death,
last six years, my mom died,
yes, I think your attitude is
my dad moved in and then he selfi sh. That said, Alzheimer’s
passed away at 91. Dad trav-
patients need constant super-
eled, including to see my three vision, and it is possible that
siblings, and had a girlfriend. in the right kind of assisted
Three years ago, my mother-
living situation, your mother-
in-law, who is in the begin-
in-law could be doing better
ning stages of
than she is.
Alzheimer’s,
Social stimula-
DEAR
moved in. My
tion is impor-
husband is
tant, and the
ABBY
an only child
activities that
and has no
are provided
other family nearby. A couple
could be good for her. The
of years ago, our sons, both of
Alzheimer’s Association is a
whom are in their 30s and
trusted source of information,
had been in the Air Force,
and you and your husband
moved in. They have steady
should be getting help from it.
jobs and contribute to the
Find it online at alz.org. The
household. One just bought a
toll-free phone number is 800-
house.
272-3900.
My problem is with my
husband. Because his mother
DEAR ABBY: My daughter
can’t be left alone, we rarely go is marrying someone of a dif-
anywhere anymore. And even
ferent faith. She doesn’t want
when we are out, he’s glued to
to invite my husband’s fi rst
his phone. They don’t have a
cousin and her spouse to her
strong relationship and rarely wedding. The spouse is openly
speak to each other. When I try racist, anti-Semitic and homo-
to talk to him about it, his an-
phobic, and the cousin doesn’t
swer is, “I promised I’d never
contradict him.
put her in a nursing home,”
My daughter is inviting
and, “Honor thy mother and
people of different faiths,
father.”
ethnicities and sexual orienta-
We have been to counseling. tions. She does not want to
It didn’t help. We are in our
share her wedding day with
mid-60s and in good shape. I
someone who is fi lled with
would like to travel before we
hate for her other guests and
won’t be able to anymore. His
for her fi ance. Although we
mother is almost 90 and has
don’t socialize with this cousin
no other health problems, so
and her spouse, my husband
she could live fi ve or six more
believes “family is family” and
years. I feel he should put her
they should be invited. What is
in assisted living so we can get your opinion?
on with our lives again. I’m
— ON MY
tired of taking care of others,
DAUGHTER’S SIDE
and I want to “retire,” too. Am
DEAR O.M.D.S.: I disagree
I selfi sh for feeling this way?
with your husband. Because
How do others deal with this? someone is a relative does not
— HOW MUCH LONGER? require the individual to be
DEAR HOW: I have mixed
invited to every family func-
feelings about your letter.
tion, particularly when your
Considering that your father
branch of the family doesn’t
socialize with them otherwise.
However, if your husband
still insists they receive an
invitation, he should follow up
the invitation with a phone
call detailing what will be
expected of guests regarding
civility and decorum.
she’s willing to go anywhere
and do almost anything, but
I’m increasingly resentful
that my wife acts more like
a daughter than a partner. I
have been trying desperately
for years to accept this, but I’m
sick of it.
— TIRED OF IT IN OHIO
DEAR TIRED: Your wife
appears to be a follower rather
than a leader. You should have
raised this issue a long time
ago and included her when
you were planning outings.
Because the status quo is no
longer working for you, you
must tell her exactly what
you have put in your letter.
And while you are at it, show
her HOW to do the research
so she can suggest things to
do, and things may improve.
But do not blame her entirely
because some of it may rest
with you.
DEAR ABBY: My wife of 36
years has never introduced me
to a restaurant, bought concert
tickets or planned a vacation.
She seldom suggests movies
she wants to see or introduces
me to any form of music. She
claps her hands like a little
girl when I say we are going
out for ice cream, a walk or to
a festival.
I have encouraged her
repeatedly over the years to be
a more active participant in
our relationship and to be my
partner. Nothing changes. If
not for my encouragement, she
would have never gotten her
degree, gone to concerts or on
vacations or experienced life. I
plan everything. To her credit,
should go to next year. I think
it should be our son’s decision
to choose the college with the
degree program he wants.
My husband disagrees. He
wants our son to leave the nest,
explore the world and become
more independent. My hus-
band says Wyatt is a “mama’s
boy” and too reliant on me.
Wyatt wants to go to our
local university, which offers
the degree program he wants.
He said: “I can go to the local
school. You and Dad won’t
have to pay room and board or
out-of-state tuition, and I can
keep my job and help pay for
groceries or help with tuition.”
For some reason, that state-
ment means nothing to my
husband. He wants Wyatt out
of the house. Should I let my
husband duke it out with our
son because I have already
stated my opinion more than
once, or keep arguing that
Wyatt should pick the college?
This whole thing is stressing
our son out because he wants
DEAR ABBY: My husband
and I are arguing about
what college our son, “Wyatt,”
Summer
Clean
Out!
What you should know about
the disposal of household hazardous waste.
What is household hazardous waste?
HHW is anything labeled toxic, flammable, corrosive, reactive or explosive. These materials can
threaten family health and the safety of pets and wildlife.
What are some examples of hazardous waste?
Aerosols, Bleach, Drain Cleaners, Metal Polish, Mothballs, Oven Cleaners, Toilet Bowl Cleaners,
Ammonia-based Cleaners, Mercury Thermometers, Wood Polishes, Waxes, Fertilizers,
Insecticides, Herbicides, Rodenticides, Spa and Pool Chemicals, Roofing Compounds,
Antifreeze, Batteries, Motor Oil, Paint Strippers and Thinners, Gasoline and more.
Americans generate
1.6 million tons of
HHW per year!
Where can I safely dispose of my hazardous waste?
La Grande Facility: Open to any resident of the three counties every other Tuesday, 8am-12
noon. By appointment, however, small labeled quantities accepted daily. (541) 963-5459.
Baker City Facility: Open the first Wednesday of each month, 10am-12 noon. By appointment
only. (541) 523-2626.
Enterprise Facility: Open the 1st and 3rd Wednesday of each month 10am-12 noon. By
appointment only. (541) 426-3332.
weather
The average home can
accumulate as much as
100 pounds of hazardous waste.
AROUND OREGON AND THE REGION
Astoria
Longview
53/70
Kennewick
52/74
St. Helens
53/77
60/79
60/82
56/78
49/79
Condon
SAT
SUN
MON
TUE
Partly cloudy
Mostly sunny
and pleasant
Sunny and
pleasant
Sunny and
delightful
Plenty of sun
81 41
86 43
90 44
Eugene
9
7
7
49/83
78 46
84 47
89 50
10
8
6
La Grande
54 84 48
Comfort Index™
Enterprise
7
8
9
52 81 46
Comfort Index™
9
86 51
10
9
6
ALMANAC
NATION (for the 48 contiguous states)
High Wednesday
Low Wednesday
High: 117°
Low: 31°
Wettest: 3.56”
89°
60°
91°
54°
PRECIPITATION (inches)
Wednesday
Trace
Month to date
0.21
Normal month to date 0.46
Year to date
6.29
Normal year to date
6.82
0.01
0.48
0.57
11.29
10.59
0.00
0.37
0.42
20.77
14.79
HAY INFORMATION SATURDAY
25%
WNW at 7 to 14 mph
10.7
0.23
RESERVOIR STORAGE (through midnight Thursday)
35% of capacity
45% of capacity
77% of capacity
60% of capacity
48% of capacity
29% of capacity
STREAM FLOWS (through midnight Wednesday)
Grande Ronde at Troy
Thief Valley Reservoir near North Powder
Burnt River near Unity
Umatilla River near Gibbon
Minam River at Minam
Powder River near Richland
Grants Pass
Thermal, Calif.
Bridgeport, Calif.
Baton Rouge, La.
OREGON
High: 101°
Low: 42°
Wettest: 0.61”
Ontario
Lakeview
Sexton Summit
583 cfs
86 cfs
110 cfs
40 cfs
106 cfs
24 cfs
SUN & MOON
FRI.
6:03 a.m.
7:47 p.m.
11:54 p.m.
2:06 p.m.
SAT.
6:04 a.m.
7:45 p.m.
none
3:12 p.m.
MOON PHASES
Last
Aug 23
New
Aug 30
First
Sep 5
Full
Sep 13
nee R d E
O
M
oku,
d
u
S
,
s
g
n
i
t
s
Show Li
,
Crosswords
orts
p
S
,
h
c
r
a
e
S
Word
re...?
o
M
&
s
e
z
z
i
Qu
Jordan Valley
54/90
Paisley
50/90
Frenchglen
55/92
58/94
56/99
Klamath Falls
48/87
Lakeview
45/90
McDermitt
52/94
RECREATION FORECAST SATURDAY
SUN.
Hi/Lo/W Hi/Lo/W
70/55/pc 69/55/pc
84/46/s 82/46/s
94/58/s 84/54/s
72/54/s 76/59/s
90/44/pc 84/41/s
70/55/s 69/55/s
80/50/s 80/52/s
89/50/pc 83/48/s
82/48/s 77/48/s
83/52/s 82/53/s
88/59/s 85/52/s
79/58/s 79/54/s
87/53/pc 82/50/s
87/50/s 81/50/s
83/44/pc 76/44/s
89/59/s 86/52/s
87/45/s 87/47/s
90/44/s 86/46/s
Grand View
Arock
52/95
57/96
Shown is Saturday’s weather. Temperatures are Friday night’s lows and Saturday’s highs.
City
Astoria
Bend
Boise
Brookings
Burns
Coos Bay
Corvallis
Council
Elgin
Eugene
Hermiston
Hood River
Imnaha
John Day
Joseph
Kennewick
Klamath Falls
Lakeview
Diamond
55/90
Fields
Medford
Brookings
SAT.
Hurricane Andrew wreaked havoc from
south of Coral Gables to the northern tip
of Key Largo on Aug. 23, 1992. A wind
gust of 164 mph was recorded at the
National Hurricane Center in Coral Gables.
Sunrise
Sunset
Moonrise
Moonset
Silver Lake
49/85
Boise
63/94
58/93
54/72
54/94
48/87
REGIONAL CITIES
WEATHER HISTORY
AGRICULTURAL INFO.
Phillips Reservoir
Unity Reservoir
Owyhee Reservoir
McKay Reservoir
Wallowa Lake
Thief Valley Reservoir
52/80
55/87
Chiloquin
TEMPERATURES Baker City La Grande Elgin
Lowest relative humidity
Afternoon wind
Hours of sunshine
Evapotranspiration
Powers
WED. EXTREMES
89°
56°
Beaver Marsh
Juntura
45/90
49/83
46/82
Roseburg
Ontario
57/95
Burns
Brothers
54/81
Coos Bay
Huntington
51/84
51/84
Oakridge
54/89
62/94
Seneca
Bend
Elkton
Council
49/88
55/87
49/84
53/70
Comfort Index takes into account how the weather will feel based on a combination of factors. A rating of 10 feels
very comfortable while a rating of 0 feels very uncomfortable.
49/81
John Day
48/86
Sisters
Florence
53/69
54/91
Baker City
Redmond
52/81
80 47
9
Newport
Halfway
Granite
49/80
50/69
75 43
55/87
53/79
50/78
Corvallis
Enterprise
52/81
54/84
Monument
56/82
Idanha
Salem
TONIGHT
7
Elgin
52/82
La Grande
57/77
Maupin
Comfort Index™
66/85
Pendleton
The Dalles
Portland
Newberg
Lewiston
63/87
Hood River
62/85
TIllamook
49 88 43
Forecasts and graphics provided
by AccuWeather, Inc. ©2019
Walla Walla
62/89
Vancouver
52/76
49/72
Baker City
to please his father, and I’m
tired of my husband coming
down on me for how I raised
our son.
— CHALLENGED IN
NEW MEXICO
DEAR CHALLENGED:
I have to wonder if there is
some other issue going on be-
tween your husband and your
son that you didn’t mention.
Wyatt appears to be thinking
logically. He’s working and
has offered to contribute to the
household expenses. Many
parents would be thrilled their
son chose a school nearby.
That your husband would
label your son a “mama’s boy”
and toss him out of the house
is not helpful; it is hostile.
Criticizing you for the way
Wyatt has been raised is a
cheap shot.
Before making up your
mind, talk to Wyatt’s guid-
ance counselor at school. If
the person knows your son, it
could prove helpful to hear his
or her perspective.
City
Lewiston
Longview
Meacham
Medford
Newport
Olympia
Ontario
Pasco
Pendleton
Portland
Powers
Redmond
Roseburg
Salem
Spokane
The Dalles
Ukiah
Walla Walla
SAT.
SUN.
Hi/Lo/W
87/59/pc
74/54/pc
79/45/s
94/56/s
69/51/pc
75/50/pc
95/60/s
89/57/s
85/56/s
78/57/pc
80/54/s
86/44/s
87/58/s
78/53/s
81/54/s
82/58/s
80/43/s
85/59/s
Hi/Lo/W
83/57/s
76/52/pc
75/41/s
93/57/s
67/52/pc
76/49/pc
88/54/s
85/53/s
82/52/s
78/56/pc
81/53/s
84/44/s
85/57/s
79/54/s
78/54/s
81/56/s
75/41/s
83/57/s
Weather(W): s-sunny, pc-partly cloudy, c-cloudy, sh-showers, t-thunderstorms, r-rain,
sf-snow fl urries, sn-snow, i-ice
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ANTHONY LAKES
PHILLIPS LAKE
Partly sunny
Mostly sunny
60
38
83
44
MT. EMILY REC.
BROWNLEE RES.
Mostly sunny
Mostly sunny
70
45
90
52
EAGLE CAP WILD.
EMIGRANT ST. PARK
Partly sunny
Sunshine and nice
69
37
75
40
WALLOWA LAKE
MCKAY RESERVOIR
Partly sunny; nice
Sunshine and nice
83
44
84
54
THIEF VALLEY RES.
RED BRIDGE ST. PARK
Partly sunny
Lots of sun; nice
88
43
84
48
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EV
Y
A
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FRI
BL
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REVERS
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