PAGE 2
1A OUAm, UNION COUNTY, OREGON.
TUESDAY, JULY II, 1911.
Directory of the Fraternal Orders
of La Grande, Oregon
LF.t A. M. La Grande Lodge No.
41. A 5 & A. M. hold! reaula. meet-
I lugs first and third Saturdays at
' 7:30 p. m. Cordial welcome to all
Masons. I M. HOYT. W. M.
A. C. WILLIAMS, Secretary.
B. P. O. E. La Grande Lodge No. 433
meets each Thursday evening at 8
o'clock In Elk't dub. corner of De
pot street and Washington avenue.
"Visiting brothers are cordially tn
' vlted to attend.
IL J. HITTER, Ex. Rai.
H. E. COOLIDGE, Rec. Bee.
wmmnpj nv nra wnTttn La
Grande Lodge No. 169 W. 0. W
, meets every second and fourth Sat
7 urdays at K. P. halL All visiting
- raebers welcome.
D. FITZGERALD, C. C.
J. H. KEENET. Clerk.
M.W. A. La Grande Camp No. 7703
meets every Monday in tne uwuui It
the I. 0. O. F. ban. All visiting
neighbors are cordially invitej to
attend.
E. E. DANIELS,
ED. HEATH. Clerk.
Queer Anatomy. J
Curious Ideas about anatomy prevafl 1
ay that a man was "shot In the ticket
Sce." Another paper says a man wa
shot In the suburbs." "He kissed bet
passionately upon her reappearance."
"Ebe whipped him upon her return."
"He kissed her back." "Mr. Jones
walked In upon her invitation." "She
tated herself upon his entering." "Wt
thought she sat down upon her being
asked." "She fainted upon his depar
ture." A Regular Hamlet Player.
1 "Did you ever play . In 'Hamlet?"'
Inquired a theatrical manager of a re
cent acquisition to his company.
"Ever!" exclaimed the newcomer.
"Why. I've played in every hamlet of
Great Britain !" Loudon TU-BIts.
"f '
ilVe are carry. a complete
line of the following Jars, Caps,
and rubbers, ' '
.MASONS,
V . SCH1UM, : ' ... ' .
EOONl.MY,
' .SEAL FAST
Extra thick rubbers anA caps
T for each kind.
For Sale Only by
Pattison Bros.
fhoue Black SL '
I Fruit ;:p-:k
i-i'-:'.v::';:-:JarS
GRAWDE RONDE MEAT CO.
Uses only Refrigerator Counters ,
and they show our cut meals ina'
most sanitary and appetizing my
TWO MARKETS
J. E. Bradley 6 Go.
SANITARY
KEl'Altt WORK.
niosESi shop black 7i.
RES1BCXCJE BLACK
I":EBEKAHS "rystal LoVe No. W
meets every Tuesday evening In th
I. O. O. F. hall. All visiting mem
bers are invited to attend.
MRS. KATIE ARBUCKLE. N. G.
MIS3 ANNA ALEXANDER, Bee
KNIGHTS OF PYTHIAS Red Cros
- Lodge No. 27 meass every Monday
night in Castle hall, (old Elk's tall..
A Pythian welcome to all vlsltto
Knights.
JESS PAUL. C. C.
- R. L. LINCOLN. M. of R. B.
O. E. S. Hope Chapter No. 13, O. E
C. hoi stated communications th
second and fourth Wednesdays oi
ear h month. Visiting members cor
dlally Invited,
t CARRIE B HUNTER. W. M.
MARY A. WARNICK. Bee
WOMEN OF WOODCRAFT OraB"
Ronde Circle No. 47 meets
first au rul'd Thursday eve.
in the mo. iJ,e : 0
All visIUag- ' u.bers are
Feared Burial Alive.
The dread of premature
burial
wbo
haunted Harriet Martlnean
would certainly not be classed as a
fanciful person, and she bequeathed
10 to her doctor to see that her body
was decapitated before burial. - Ed
mund Yates In bis will stipulated that
his Jugular vein should be severed
and left 20 to pay for the operation.
Lady Burton took even stronger pre
cautions. She enjoined that her heart
should be pierced with a needle before
any steps were taken to certify her
death and that her body should after
ward be submitted to a postmortem
examination. London Chronicle.
Lucky or Not. : .
"Eve was really a very lucky wom
an." remarked Mr. Heupeque. "She
didn't have any woman to criticise her
clothes."
Mrs. flenpeque's eyes snapped.
"On the other band." she retorted,
"she didn't have any woman around to
envy the first ttowns a noma o ever
kad." Cincinnati' Commercial Tribune.
Life. V
Life Is the finest or the One arts. It
has to be learned wttb lifelong pa
tlence. and the yean ot our pilgrim
T.nges are all too short to master it trt-
. i. . i r . . -
umiJUBUUj , vi uiuuiuiiii.
. Hor Sacrsd Word.
' "Not golnu to Alice's luncheon?
But
you gave your sacred word!"
"So t did, and I'd go In u minute If
my dress bad couie home." Harper's
Bazar. . v ' ", -..- :.
We must laugh tiefore we are happy
or else we may die before we ever
laugh nt all -La Bruyere.
'" - . Relief.
Gabber V'ou ouuht to meet ; Smith.
', Awfully clever Imitator! lie can take
' he were here uow. VarMy LUew
j 8trongly Oppoatd.
I "Are ymi Id favor of granting suf
frage to women 7" ,
; "No. sir." replied the man wbo was
chewing tobacco. "If women were at-
i lowed to go to the polls the election
judges would have to go outside to
spit" Chtcaao Record-Uern Id
BOTH PHONES
PLUMBING
A SPECIALTY.
NEXT DOOR TO
CITY HALL
CROCKS m
Oil HQHESTY
COMPARED WITH HONEST 3fES
THEY ARE "HONEST." ;
Xews From Jiew York; of Interest
Man Falls One JDle.
New York, July 11 (Special) That
many crooks are honest men as com
pared to many local merchants Is the
novel complaint made here by two
self-confessed thieves this week who
have been looting many, retail jewelry
etorea by what Is known in the slang
of the underworld as the "penny
weight game.', Th method of opera
tion is simple, necessitating merely
the services of two men and a watch.
Having selected a Btore to be robbed
the first man enters and asks to look
at diamond ring. While thus engaged
his partner enters apparently In a
mutt hurray, shoves a watch under
the jeweler's hose and asks to have
it repaired, giving his partner an op
portunity to substitute imitation gems
for real ones and to depart with his
booty. The grievance of these thieves
has just been voiced in an Ingenious
letter written to a local je weler's trade
paper In whtch they accuse the retail
jewelers of being "an "enterprising
band of up-to-date bandits," contin
uing, "as an instance of their kgn
slghted thievery we call your atten
tion to the fact that our famous watch
which you Bay we always wished
"fixed right away' has never been out
of repair since we sole It, but, never
theless, every store we visited, and
we visited 138 of them, hag succeeded
In finding something the matter with
this watch of ours and has found some
excuse to charge us anywhere from
25 cents to $3.60, which they never col
lected, for doing everything from op
ening the cover' to wjndlng it up for
us." New York haa not enjoyed such
a naive Indictment In many years.
Mail Robberies Rare. :
The recent holdup of a mall train In
which the robbers escaped with the
registered mall Is cited by postal aj
thorltles here ns emphasizing the rar
ity of losses of this kind. While hun
dreds of millions of dollars are trans
ported by maiC the total Indemnity
paid by the pofltolfico during the past
yean on account of train robberies
was only $769. Much of the disinclin
ation on the part of the professional
highwaymen to Interfere with Uncle
Sam's property; 1b undoubtedly due to
the reputation which the old gentlu-
man has gained of never lettng up on
the trail of a peculator and of eventu
ally "landlne" every man who tvieB
to prey upon the mails. Another rea
son for the comoaratlve Infrequency of
train robberies undoubtedly is that by
far th greater part of the mail is now
transported by the railroads and it i3
a much more difficult matter to hold
up a fast train than a stage coach or
star route carrier. By the Increase In
the use of the railways as mall car
riers the government gains in. two
ways for not only Is railway transpor
tation far safer but It is also cheaper, j
In fact the railways claim that the
rates paid by them by the governmen
for carrying the mallg are so low that
they lose soruei millions of dollars a
year on this end of their business, nnJ
as the postmaster general after inves
tigating nearly 400 lines has Just re
ported that more than a quarter of
them are underpaid, the loss which
they suffer In this connection is vast-j
ly , greater than that . which arises
from the depredations of . would-be
Imitators of Jesse James. That this
occupation offer8 small chance of
profit Is shown by the fact that In the
past two years, according to postofnee
records, there have been in the entlrn
country only nine train robberies In
volving the malls and it Is said that
even in the latest holdup the mall
train was attacked through mistake
by bandits who were really after
henvy gold shipment traveling by ex
press on another train.
Falls a Mile, 1'nhutt.
Falling more than a mile without
Injury Is the record which has Jim
been sot here by a man known to hts
fellow workers fs "Nine LUvs Tim"
and tho "human cat." who Is neither
an aeroplanlst nor balloonist but a
painter who has done his falling with
out the aid of any artificial mfnns cf
support. He rounded out fc't two
hundredth fall of 25 feet or over this
we by tumbling 1C0 feet from the
eighth story of a building In which
he 'ia at work, landing on his feet
and escaping without any more seri
ous injury than damage to his trous
ers tnough had it not been for the in
tervention of telegraph, wlreg which
broke his fall iits likely that this
would have been his last tumble. Only
three weeks ago he fell fifty feet from
another building and his record In
cludes 20 fallg from barns, 3& from
trws, and more than 100 from the
roofs of residences. ; Falls in bicycles,
fences and down stairs have been so
numerous that their total has not been
kept, since the human cat, regards
them as entirely too trivial to remem
ber. But ln spite of his peculiar pro
clivity for taking unexpected drops,
he always lands on his feet and has
not a scar to ehow for his mile of tum
bling. " So accustomed has he become
to miraculous escapes that he now
believes that a fall from the highest
building In the city would leave him
unscathed. -
TRADITIONS.
Thtir Absence Was a Serious Handicap
to Aoam and Evo.
The great drawback to tbe garden of
Eden was the lack of traditions
Tbere was no history to serve m i
TO Tr"', -"'' ;r mwIhI rati
tude. There was neither Baedeker nor
Kldpath. uelther Macaulay nor Gib
bon, neither Homer nor Vergil. Adam
and Eve could not go to tbe library,
haul down a book and see bow some
body once did something or. otber
There were no daugbtent of anything
to set the. standards of social emi
nence. There were no old families.
There were no descendant of any:
body to talk big, took wise and druw
pensions. . Tbere were no forefathers
wbo bad laid down Inviolable laws,
contracted debts, given ; away fran
chises aud established constitutions
for posterity, aye. even unto the third
and fourth generation. There were
no historic statesmen wbo had band
ed down orations for Adam and Eve
to learn and recite at bigb school com
mencements and church socials. There
were no dates for them to learn and
remember. There was absolutely no
past for them to .revere: nothing that
bad stood tbe test of time.
If tUey wanted history or tradition
tbey had to go a bead and make It
themselves. Ellis O. Jones In Judge's
Library.
TABLE KNIVES.
Incident That Changed Them From
Pointed to Rounded Ends.
Table knives are Invariably made
with rounded ends. Did It 'ever occur
to you to wonder why they are of this
shape Instead of pointed, like any oth
er knife blade?
. Perhaps you may imagine that the
ends were rounded as a protection to
life and limb In those turbulent days
when . men drew their swords or any
otber available lethal weapon at tbe
very slightest provocation. , ;
But this Is not the case. Tbe story
goes and it Is fairly well substan-tlated-thnt
the great Cardinal Riche
lieu had a guest to dinner whose man
ners ut the table were vwy far from
being nil thnr mu!d be desired.
Tbe climax , was reached when the
fellow, after finishing the meat course,
began to pick bin teeth wltb hls'tnbie
knife, at that d:iu made with a sharp
point. The guest being a man birth
and importance, the cardinal could not
openly remonstrate, but next day be
gave orderM that the point of every
knife tu the establishment should be
rounded off
Before the end of tbe century his ex
ample was universally followed, and
tbe pointed knife at table had disap
peared. London Answers.
.' Swimming Ghosts.,
Lecturing (fore the Camera club.
Or Francltt Ward said that In an at
tempt to photograph fish In their nat
ural surroundings be had constructed
a pond wltb nu olmervatloti chamber
let In at tbe side below Uie surface
ot the water. Through tbu window of
this chamber unseeu by the fish be
could watch and photograph their
movements. He discovered by this
means that the protection of fish when
In tbelr natural state is much more
thorough than is generally supposed.
All silvery fish were in reality merely
mirrors In tbe water, reflecting the
tone and color of tbelr surroundings
so as to appear to tbelr fellow fish
Auction Sale, Horses
La Grande, Saturday, July 15, at the StLouis Stables
12 head work horses; wVs from 1100 to 1600 lbs. ages
from 3 to 1 1 years. AH smoth stock, several were mated
teams. Good notes will be accented navable rw . 1
I Ed Stringham, auctioneer
gray, unsubstantial, swiuuniug ghosts,
bardly to be distinguished at all. it
was only when tbe dace, for example,
rose to the surface, causing Its body
to reflect light tbnt tbe pike at the
bottom of tbe pond could see and go
for its little victim. London Graphic.
England's Croam Ponies.
Tbe famous cream ponies which are
nsed to draw tbe king's carriage on
state occasions are the sole survivors
of a breed of horses which has oth
erwise passed out of existence. They
are the direct and only pure bred de
scendants of ,' tbe famous Dorses of
Hanover, wblcb Ueorge ' 1. brought
with him to bis new Engll.h kingdom
two centuries ago. Tbe once famous
white homes and black horses of Han
over have died . out. and now the
creams alone survive, and only in
England, for when Queen Victoria
sent to Hanover about 18!K) to procure
fresh stock for tbe royal stud not one
was to be found. London Answers.
.
Reputation.
Reputation is oue of tbt prizes for
whtcU men contend. It Is. as Mr
Burke rails It. "the cheap defense and
ornament of nations and the nurse or
manly , exertions." It produces more
labor and more talent rban twice ill
wealth ot a country could ever rear up
It is tbe coin of genius, and It is the
imperious duty of every, man to be,
tow ft with the most scrupulous Jus- j
Oce and the. wisest' economy. -Kvdney .
Smith.' ' :
- A Nsw Interpretation.
History lencher ; vvimt ronspruon
feature figured lu HarrisioL's cam
palgnf t'npll-ln the hl orrw-essioii
thev linn a iog cabin wun a colored
man tied on top. History . Teacher -A
wnarr Pupil-Well, my history says
there was a live conn fastened on tne
root Lippliicott's. , i
Phone Red 971 next door to
Observer office.
That's What
It's Good For
rJetteir
HRST ANNUAL
Ctierfy Fair
at COVE, ORE., JULY 19th
"Come where the Luscious Cherry Grows" I
Great Fruit Display
Sports of all kinds
Base Ball Game
Exhibition of Fancy Shooting
Excursion on
. Garfish Skin.
A woman looking Vt costly Jewel
cases In one of (lit- iint espnislvf ut
the uptown siHips tne other day was
struck witn Hie uHnuiifm. Ivory like
finish ot a iiii:niM'f ot thtTJi. .' Wliui
are they inudf ut':" "tie n.Kid admir
ingly, "tiiii'ti-u "Kin. iimdiini; ' answer
ed the HiiletuiiHti.' "5:ii tiMi leather, we
find, is very little known ul'out out
side of thetrade, and yet It niiH-eome
to he of tmniin-e. It not only caa
be worked up to Hie- ollsn, but It t,
wonderfully hard They ny i-ertaln
trllM- ot iiidlnuM knew Its secret, and;
that iiuiong them it was used an ar
mor, the tradition being that a breast
plate of It would rexlst any tomahawk
or arrow. It caa be made now so that
It will turn the edge f a knife or a
spear." .New York . Sun.
He Likod tho Lta.
William was said to be the ugli
est thong! the most lovable man tm
Louisiana. . On returning to the plan
tation after a short absence bis brotb
er said:
"Willie. I met in New Orleans a Mrs.
Forrester, wbo Is a great admirer of
yours. She said, though, that it wasn't
so much the brilliancy of your mental
attainments as your marvelous phys
ical and facial beauty which charmed
and delighted , ber."
"Edmund." cried William earnestly,
"that Is a wicked He. but ten it tu u
again r Everybody's. ;
' n. .:.. I tr.
t WUlliMI , Wl W I WW.
Boy My tootb aches, and mamma
aid I should come here and let you
fook at It Dentist I see. It must
come out Won't take but a minute.
Now. be a brave little man. and I'll
Boy (hastily backing offi Mamma
didn't say I should let you pull It She
only said 1 should let you look at It
Faints as they
paint in cities
and makes reason i
able charges:
Consult him about
your Vrvorii.
They All Say
JSSf
What Ails You
Central Railroad
W.H.Berry, owner, f
1