fflDvmaiMii
BIT RTfHADT) A fiDAVK
'acheistmas reyekie in verse
....aa a.aa. h aa aan r
Infringing an hi MrtMular atvla at blank .. . : . '
.j . i. j i t . . nm uma n living ana jo nm n
had evjryby !. bcaJtn ta a pulp tr.i Jhrco wsy from tha J.-sk et thij tort of thing )
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REST UNO with the pots and ketUii,
caooimy oucuits line a ranger
With an aim that wu unerring,
owuuy aeaung oat tne nam-and,
Aim beefsteak tough a leather,
labored daily Minnie Harhar,
Sometimes known as laughing Waiter,
Jerking sinkers from the cuisine
To the grill room for the hungry,
Working for a measly stipend
Of two-llfty, coming weekly.
wne uay w mat cobwebbed kitchen
j Minnie Harhar saw the stranger;
8aw that he was weak and weary;
jTook him in and filled him quickly
(With the leaving from the tables.
!It was in the toe of Christmas
jXime of cheer and tine of plenty.
I Then she sought the boss and told him
iOf the stranger in the kitchen
'Told him of the weary walking
i All the way from Kansas City.
Where the stranger had been fired from
iJust because he had got jagged and
Could not work at biscuit shooting.
Came a vonnr nan roM ard iinnm
He was walking on his uppers
In the storms of wintry weather.
And his garb was built for summer.
Hanging on him loose and flabby,
Like a hide hung on fencepoit.
Any cop he might hare met then
Would hare run him in and ragged him.
A XMMC JWB wkmt va wkk
mJv 1
Thus equipped to make a
tie mrew googoo eyes at Minnie
Threw them hard and threw them often
Until finally she wilted.
Then he took her. unresisting,
In his arms and hugged and kissed her.
He wu hers and she was his'n
For a week or ten days, maybe,
Until he had met another
Out upon the publio highway
Xet a gasellt with a light step
Then the stranger seised a tray and
TfT- A A t ..a
wbi io won wiu Minnie Harhar,
wHKiag cops unm sne neiped nua
Oct a more befitting raiment.
And the philanthropic movement
Set her back just seven-flfty.
Then he got a share and hair cut
And a bottle of load perfume.
conquest,
I Iti
I vOlVt . !.(VI T(ru.i ..um -, na turn . V, V fVf V
yl it' v'. j i J:jL& ' '" ' " rt & , I
M'l I' Pn - iifJi ItHfkH' i'
pm : f mm liiw
V VH -J tftJri -. ,r..... r thV1i wbt,
i y&MM I Mf pj
v&.WXWfflf' -.... Mif ff(i f
filw- o-if if
yi0ry :
.
ttiaj .Wl C!l
And they'd take their beer quite often
In the wine room at O'Kelley's.
Christmas days were soon forgotten,
And the loen he'd got from Minnie
Prom his memory fast was fading.
And a smile that pat bin boghoase.
She was working in a chop joint
Farther down toward the nrrr,
And bis footsteps turned he often
Joyfully fat that direction.
Just as soon as work was orer
With the gaselle be would wander.
They were fairly glued together
As they walked tnd chinned each other,
All unknown to Minnie Harhar,
Mexico's Christmas Eve
Christmas In Maslco Uats for ulna
AJt auUlos wltb ClirUtmaa ara.
Tby ara larrltd a -ilia nla (Jaxf
wan1rlnf,- bm- iymUl!rq f (ha
wsnijarlnca of tha Vlrifln Murr nfiit
Jh In arnrcb ut aliritrr prior I.)
Ilia hlrtb of Jraua.
On i unlotii la to liara ulna faoillra
Autobiography of
A Christmas Gift
One day Minnie Harhar saw them
Sauntering along together.
And the air was fairly reekin?
With the stickiness of love talk.
Kinnie caught on rery quickly,
Saw which way the wind was blowing,
But refrained from takisg action.
When he caaie to work
at evening
Minnie Earhar sprung
it on hia,
Boned him for the sev-en-flfty,
Sure, she could hart bawled him ont then,
Acd the gazelle wonld hare shared it,
But would that hare helped to get her
Any of the eeren-fifty
She'd invested in his raiment?
Minnie Harhar pondered deeply,
Made a sneak and held her temper.
Saying he must dig up qdekly
Or she'd pet him out of busineti
waiting then for half a minute
rs I
Minnie alto shied utensils,
Using them for punctuation :
Hurled a plate with such precision
That it spoiled his face forever;
Slammed a stove lid on his ttomach,
Pot of beans ajrain-t his bosom ;
Hit hin with the mashed potatoes
And a friVr'- of chicken.
All the tine the guetts were dodging
'Bound the table, in the grill room
Minnie saw he was not coming
Through with any snm of money
In the nse of the invective
Minnie Harhar was not slouchy.
Ir.to him she threw it swiftly,
Iiks the hot soup from the ladle.
In the choicet chophome languago
Minnie th-n adJrcrsed the piker
Said he wis a chump and welsher,
Also cheap s:rcw, phony, moicher;
Called hin two spot, bloke and wuarcr,
Slid he was a yap from Yapville
snaie irom a own the river
Pans &nl plates were flying wildly,
Wal h were pattered with their continU,
While the boss had taken refuge
In a corner, with a table
Upturned there to shield and hide him.
And the piker, he was hiking
ait srotmd the room and dodging,
f m1 .1 evcry throw wa Siting
AU that could be coming to him.
Everything was thrown by Minnie,
of frU'iiiU or rvlntltra Ink part In thl
qunliit nlMMtrrntluii. Kjirh fnn.il. ...
terljtltia In lurn for e, rrn,ue all
tha ollirm. ftoth nrtultn oi.d rbllilrrn
partlclpnia In the witndarlnK Arrlt.
ttm t a bouaa. Uwy upply nl th il.K.r
of aarh room f-r afii-litf, n tilrb U r.
ful by Otm wllliln Flisnlly nil srr
ailmliml to mo Inritpat nrnii, whrra
rafrralitliaiita i,f rtt inrata. rakra ami
wlna ara a.Tr1 In manr Inxuncra
tha rhlldrrii r. fnrini In f.mrlful
owluiiica
Tlio lil.l nlfhl i.f (lie wrihil.-r)ii.
C'lirlaliima ava. niauna to Mr, ai, ,-li.
Sfrtliri e conld lt her hnd on
"-""'6 was mere remaining
But a pie; 'twas made of custard
This ie teued without a tremor.
XV2 teat " hurtUng
Through the ,ir ?1 tlf, it &ndel
Wiu u, fa;., 6U pbrt.re4 oy
Eurily h rv -t rf barfrew
vntm.im: turn
IT
Until he had eaten through it.
Then outside the door he ambled
Exit pie and farewell piker.
In the art of rougbhouse making
Minnie Harhar cleans the platter.
Trifling some with her affections
Is not now considered healthful.
And the piker who has tried It I
It is bett that he be nameless.
KACII lil.iNMiui.ui': rmr.N tiiiij to hit
TIIK I'INATA.
din wlmt Hin KfltlirrltiK f riirUtmna
Irea fruit niHitm i l he tlillriron of tin
L'nlti-d HtciifM. iIuiiikIi ilici'i" U ii
CIiiIhI jiiiim iri-t. 'I'l.i.ii. In iiiKimiil ii...
pltmin, otliiTv. Ihi- ii liiimnii 11 (.-ii in in in,
vi kihkh pnpi-r. MiiHifi!iMt friiin Um
mllliif. iHiiiiit'iiiinM ilii-nt it nil ulln nr
anrtlipiiiviini it almllnrly kiinii-iiiii
On lilkl la lillmlfnlilcrl, luniiHl
around a few timra mid Invited in
brwk the ifnntn ti lth n riin or rl
'Jlirt ntnikoi aw iicriultiad, mid It
UMiiilly Impprt'ifi Unit !ir rune
nnly liiiiiilil,li. air Afu-r mi lunir nr
iM)f f.'illiiri-a aotiifljiiriv IiIIh thu iilnnt.
A anuii't lilotv, niul tlio Ii-kh iiiiiI trunk
Of till' jfrnltK'llli' llcnra Kplll nicn
Ijonn ilia floor. In 'iifrcriii inn-"
'union, frill Hip CtirlHt ttniH prewnfN
will which fht funny fltrinv wim aiuff.
til That) Ihw In n incrrv ai-rnrnl.li.
fur Ilia 'fnrriM." Tint oria t lm Mi..
'Hla In tiwildiijt tin. (innin fir th"
IH crta a Htrnl prmfltt nntl In
plnrod In the sent of honor for tb
I ut btUlmaa jift. U
lme nlin,. !,. uu. My aCa U nut
nliirlMin. biuuKh J n,mr k-k aij,r. J
woa mnrtp l,y tl dainty hlmla f MUa
Ki...n... Hil,,, b ,U titMf M
J'il IU I Bm IMJW titlmmt tn
l prr,t? Hlw U anil Ml,, u.an.t
ami li, allll uan, nMI
"Ii. r. 111.. Hii.anua isr, uiaaway
rarlmi I .Uuui, ,pi,m ,,, , ,1U
lll... Ulna ,BU- , ku illwwr
Mia Mti,aiift, It
undnraliMKl,
bail lanarulanl
lelua Umu Iba
r''Mi.g pn,r f
'"r rlUr,b. au
ha lull in, nlll
"lit inn to u
rpranu youth.
Vast iliriat.
inn, th, irnn. h
r. hu bud r,
ilti-d fltn iitbrr
pir.. in ,
" ''ii a la tar
Vou ,... k)llt
" 1 1 P P a r a ara
Kunrmiiwd mm
by n-rt n wall
r other
'I. M.i tha
I'Ti'llrlinr .u..
IIK r,r UK 10 Wlia
no
.... onViuM.
Ilia pm n.rWma, , ,..llt
to t old ,,. Mr,. I
' wn u ii.iM.ilHr of hr ,r,lmr":
t.uanlh,,,. .Vl( fhr,.,,,;,,';' ,","7,;
.'..mrl,,, ..,i. n
l"d U..i Ilia Wu,r. ,d ,t wlj "r
The t.pt Clirl.t...,,, tbo pnlir
vary pr(,a,K.,t of ,
mi in, lm. d,.,,lr.,l f
n.KPd in nnoiliPr my. i,,,, . ,,,,.
t fhrhinu,, ,. ,r,.v,i r'a C
r-t. nua ,,rK,. ,1(T ,;:;';:,
Wi.ll ,t f:irla Ml. H.iannnri
n'" fi'li'inl of b,.ra Han
. rr . I(ini(,r ,)f '
wlil. l, ,v., m ril.H
roniH. mid i.,, f,.,,.,,,, fli.in't know w
ru'iit inn
Ho llm v,.r f t.rNttm.H ra.
nni.. to MiM K,.,Mnim. HI, w,
..ml ir umi. I wimnnt ..,,,,1.. in waon
. "'"nip. i nm n ipmd
iilmitf " ',''""-vl"M,'
Oh. ao yon rernifnlr ma now? y
I apont n ya:,r wllh you. w,, tlra
lll, Hlld I lllllat W f,g. fPhg ,
Chrfstmns evo, you know,
V. BAIT', JR.
Santa In Grass VaHqf
Ooa ioa lb Cott4 autaUii
trartkal tod ptaraiiUy pr'V"'
fUnta Oaoa, In Uraaa V;ly, CtU
ar,r;tty csta I ."hrlatmat jlM. TWt
la no rblld an pr a la bt 4r
(xdlilad whan Kar.Ja pa, bli M
lUw artiuod. and, for (bat own. t
aruwo Hraon aii!:,r T"al B
' Mr lUnwii of Uf Vallay
n Inrnlld. ruiiDopil la br fhair l lit
window of bar rollaee Hba atlrUI
ba at-bm.l rhildrao lrtn.p by ""'
I ham ar arantlly rlad and MM
III tiotirtahftd, Til, s-id
t bar own mUfortuna lu bf
waaln for Iba unfortuimia III
Hlia ausaralml Ibdl on lh MM m
of lii.l wfur tlw bilKW
day, rn, h rblld aboul.l brln W
aoiuetliliitf to liha away In otbaf l
twml in. I tw snytblns IMS ,!Jf""
Jual hla,r lb, ihlld '' lul
A rommlttaa a in dnirlbaw
thliitfa wbrra tbay wrrr tinxl wJl
Mo many llttla miaa and itwlr t"3li
rr. mad, brtppy Iba (lrl l.brtiw
that l.taaa Vallajr dopll H' 'J'
nianaiiily uw for a iiirtrf
rpinury Mra, llnnaan'a Impron1 "
Iniia ayatrni hna Ihvii In workM
d,r. ihoueh loiif I ha II"" """"
lirmolf wn a ralanamt from hr rhl' '
pnln nnd laid In n-l In Hip Iowa"'
lary.
Whpii tha l.iat dny t M
olil your arrU'racallrtl dowtll'
In lima VIUy--'rprj "I)UI of JW
mora limn 1 iki In lh b"- !
imdifliiB ntiii-bi-r nrd IHi n offensi.
t.ntcr tha Inwn'a hrna bind '
procaMlon. dlapanaliiff p'l"l,'
i J ,l vr i jst-
LP
MKlia NII TUMI. H" aSAll
I ll( USX.
.1.. u a .1 1.11.I....1 nl 1 1' y ll('" i
Of WIMXl UN IllK IIS llll'IIIHI'IVI'KI 01 u
bold nnly n f.it poliiln III l!"'"-
n.. .. I.iiV Unir
..a.-i"- iirra nnu iio-.f
aloft II II v.. . I.I. L.ii. .urlilllltt'll''1" . .
niori II ii vu clili'Kvll, ftti'itinm " . r
KlHi. M ilia raiirof li' ""''"L
iowa n line of nmna n ' t
IIiIiikm rli.imr.Hl by tha ini-ri linnt"
ollmr wall In tin illlrpim. Hi
nun it, Mil v.t.r.vit"-
rulna? Wull. I (nil diMtau'l uinllrl'
Imuran iiinrrli, ri.hi nr ii""
C'lniia la nnl dutorrHil I'f ,llt'
Wt'illhnr-nnt III Clluao Velli'T
fill BlU
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