The Oregon mist. (St. Helens, Columbia County, Or.) 188?-1913, September 27, 1901, Image 4

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    :;v Eczema
Vttm It nxMens tin skin, Itches, mn.
Oris and eosles!
home rooi'le.call it tetter, milk crust or
alt rhenm.
'1 e stiflr-rlns; from It ! sometimes In
it"w; J"""", PPllcation r resorted U-
It proceeds from humors Inherited or ac
quired mid persists until these Lara tmni
rwmoved.
Hood's Sarsaparilla
positively remoree them, baa radically
and permanently cured the worst cases, and
la without an equal fur all cutaneous
eruption.
VVuooYFiiisaieUi.Beeteathartie. rrloatteeuta
Diss and Remedy.
That must be a pretty bad tooth
ache to awell jour face like tbat. Why
don't you see a dentist?"
"I did call on toy friend, Dr. Pullom,
yesterday, and ciperlenced great ro
ller.- i
"Yon must be mistaken, Pullem
boa Iwm out of town for a wee a."
"I know. I felt relieved when I
found that out" Philadelphia Pre.
Odd.
"Mia Sentyment Is a great lover of
"Yea: now Isnt tt odd that ahe
drawa the line on caterpillars I Ohio
State Journal.
A Pitnk Incident.
"Either that young : fellow down
thprn with his clrf Ih a liar or I'm
nothing," remarked the adventurous J
caterpillar, as he proceeded to lower
himself on his silken thread.
"What do you mean?" Inquired the
tree toad. .- .
"I Just heard him tell her that noth
ing, ahe might be sure, would ever
come between them I" Philadelphia
Press. -
Tela efgaatnre fa oa everv box of the fennla
Laxative BrotnoQuinine
the nandy tbat eawaa) a cM la M aj-
Thrce a Day.
Tourist in Ireland (to rural postman)
How many mails have you here in
the day?
"Three breakfast, dinner and tay,
London Fun.
The Typewriter Invaatlea.
A statistician has proved that the inven
tion of the typewriter haa given employ
ment to 500.01)0 Deonle. but ha fails to auu
how many cases of weak stomachs and dv.
pepsia it haa induced. AU people of se
dentary occupation need Hosteller's Stom
ach Bitten. It is a wonderful medicine
and helps nature bear the stralu which
entiles from confinement. It also cures
dyspepsia, indigestion, constipation and
flatulency. Be sure to try it and you will
not be disappointed.
a Niinnoiv ESCAPE
Jin Indiana
Epriencs."
I era
Exclusive neu.
Mrs. Purseproud I see where sev
eral millionaires chartered . whole
steamboat in order to come across the
ocean.
Mr. Purseproud Well, when we go
over we will lease the ocean for a
week. Baltimore American.
"It was a frightful experience' and
I never expected to come out alive,"
said Mrs. Elien ltowman, of No. 82
v indoor block, Indianapolis. Ind..
in the course of an interview recently
published in the Sun ol that city.
"I do not suppose it ever would have
happened," she oontinucd. "but.
some years ago I began to worry and
to uo more wort than I ought. This
brought on a general physical weak
ness, my blood became thin and I
grew nervous. I went to a doctor and
he said I had consumption.
"Did he advise any court of treat-
mentr
"Yea, he gave jne some medicine
whtch I took, but it did me no rood.
Other doctors failed to help me and I
became despondent of ever getting
well. My limbs ached, my head was
amy ana i was most miserable.
A MASTERPIECE IN THE WAY.
Bow aa EnalUk Artie Escaped Win.
atnat aa Unenviable Notoriety,
When Irving Montagu, the war art
ist, was a very young tuau, before he
had mastered the elementary princi
ples of his art, he narrowly escaped an
adventure that he says would bars
brought him a suddeu notoriety in the
rt world which few would have en
vied. ' lie was wandering through
Marlborough House, thou Veruon nai
lery, with party of friends, and as
they were exploring deserted oussages,
his companions playfully shut , the
door, not knowing tbat It fastens:!
with spring lock, and expecting blm
to turn up presently, ran off to continue
their work In the galleries.
Thus "cribbed, cabined and routln
ed." says Montagu, 1 remained patient
enough at first, hoping it would be but
a short-lived Jest; but half an hour hav
ing elapsed, my patience began to di
minish and the. situation to pall upon
me. la vain did 1 try to make myself
heard, so 1 set about to llud some
means of exit.
commenced by slowly feeling of
Aa Incomplels Most.
We run wild over the furnishings
of a houso; its furniture, carpet,
hancini'. bictures and music, and
alwavs (oriitt or ncitleot the most int'
portant requisite., Uomsthlng thera
should bo always on the shelf to pro
vide against sudden casualties or at
tack of nain. Buoh come like a
thief in the night : sprain, strain.
uddon backache, toothache or tieu-
raleio attack. There is nothing eaai
er to get than a bottle ol St, Jacobs
Oil. and nothing surer to cure quick
Jy any form of pain. The house is
incomplete without it. Complete it
with a good supply.
FAMOUS "ANCHOR" FENCE.
"You don't look new aa if von had commenced
er been sick." ventured the Nnnrt. around me. Now, strangely
enougo, ana mucn to my reuer, toe
DBAFNBS CANNOT BE CUBED
ever
er.
"No, and I don't feel as if I ever
had," said ahe. "I owe my present
neaitn to vt. Williams' fink
j Tills for Pale People. About four
year ago a friend from Ohio recom
i mended the pills to me, saying they
had benefited his daughter whose
Diitlnju.
"She conies of a grand old family,
I believe?" .
"Yes, very! An ancestor of hers
was beheaded in the tower during the
reign of the Fourth Edward."
"How perfectly lovely!" Detroit
Journal.
MugivuHp.
"That was a very lucid document
you prepared," said the friend.
"Yea," answered the statesmen dubi
ously. "I made it so lucid that I am
afraid the public will fall to retard it
as able and profound." Washington
Star. . .
Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Sooth
ice Syrup the best remedy to use tor their
ohlldren daring the teething period.
A Close Call
TJont you talk to your husband
over the phone?"
"Never. When I have anything of
ira-ortance to say to my husband, I
want to get near him." Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Bv local annlinatlona. aa they cannot teach the
Slaeeaed portion o( to ear. There Is only one I symptoms were similar to mine. 80 I
way Maura dealt..... and that i. by eoustlt j , ' , M , , "
flamed condition ol the mucous liuinir of the verv short time
flamed von have a rumbllnirKoond or imper
fect hear! ng, and when tt ts entirely closed
deaineKS is the result, and ttnleas the inflamma
tion can be taken out and this tuba restored to
Its normal condition, hearing will b destroyed
forever; nine eases out ot tea are caused by
calarrh, hlrh is nothing but an ioSamsd
condition ol the mucoua surfaces.
We will give One Huudred Dollars for any
esaeoi U4ainpm(canaea or catarraj trial ean
not be cured by Hall's Catarrh Cum. Send lot
circulars, free.
T. J. CHENEY A CO Toledo, a
Bold By urucgls ts. 7oe
Mall's family fills are the beat
Not a Congenial Pursuit
"And you will devote your son to
artr
"No. He has too good an appetite."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Hard Luck.
Mr. Saphead I asked you for your
daughter's hand once before, sir: but
you said site was too young snd I
have waited
Mr. Crusty You've waited "too
long, young man; she's too old now.
Ohio State Journal.
Tb Barn PiwaerlpMaai rr Malaria
Chills and Fever Is a bottle of Grare's Tssttoleat
ChillToutc, It 1. (imply Iron and quinine lu
tsiftiless fora. Ko Cure. Ko Pay, fries Wc
? j fastidious.
"Jane Meadows was almost drown
ed in the latest Staten Island ferry
collision."
. "How waa that?"
"She said the life preserver didn't
match that new shirt waist of here.",
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Wmrkm Ott ttsm OmM.
Laxative Bromo-Qulnlne Tablets cure a cold In
Qua day. .Mo cure. Mo Pay. Price l&oanta.
Right Up to Date
Sculptor What sort of bust do you
wish for yourself? -
Mr. Newrocks WelL I aln t particu
lar, but I'm gettln' it to please Mrs.
Newrocks, and she says it must be a
mythlologlcal one. Brooklyn Eagle.
I am sure Pisa's Cure for Consumption
rnvi my life three years aito. Hi as. Thos.
Kosbiks, Maple street, Norwich, N. Y.,
ieb.17, 1800.
His LHU Scheme
'Teddy," he said, as he doffed his
chapeau, "I haven't had a bite to eat
since yistiddy mornin'."
"An1 I don't want none." Denver
Times.
Extinguished, Though.
fell You surely don't think Jenk
ins' wife pretty?
Belle Certainly not.
"But you told May Sowers that she
was Just lovely.
"That was because May was an old
flame of Jenkins." Philadelphia Rec
ord.
cuianirts fob DP71J3tItlNl
m a ara. a.
lie Was Satisfied.
I V. n .
"I never axed PmrMenra tor rtn1 ine rroper lime.
much fer me," said the aged coloreu1 "Amy," said Mabel, "when do you
philosopher. "En after a long en intend to wear that stunning bathing
wearisome life er trouble I ain't got suit of yours?"
nuttln 'cept de rheumatism, one wlfe, "When the men rrive," replied
ten cniuun en a mortgage on de Amy. Detroit Free Press.
nouse." Atlanta Constitution.
IL Writs IS I
1 1 BICKFORI
I oeirequl
NATHltl
BICKF0S0. WasMeftea. - C. ther will re
ceive auick reoliea. it. Sth N. H Vnln Rtalff
wuLorps. rrosecutiaz claims sLnca 1878.
EITQ Permanentlr Carod. Ko fits a
SfSW utr n.TH l.r i.f of it Kllae'iOmt .1am
BeJtonr. SetKirarFKKIiM-J.aatrialbottleaiKitniat.
be. Pa.sVH Kus.IsuaPlulaaetvaia.Pa
Not His Wife.
Closefist Does your wife eternally
peeter you for money?
Orasplt No; the people she buys
things from do that. Ohio State Jour
nal. Patents Procured.
Prompt. KUIctent and Satisfactory Service.
Attorney s lee not payable till patent granted.
lr.Z us. lsber A Whitman Co, ana Warder
Bldg., Washington, t). c. i
Nothiag at All
Brown There is a lady pianist at
me circus who play with her toes.
Jones Umph! That's nothing
my Dsoy aoes mat. exchange.
Brooklyn, K. T., Sept. lfjth The Osrflsld
Tea lo, manufacturers of Garfield Tea. Oar
Held Headache Powders, Gardeld Tea Syrup,
(iarfleld Keiief Plasters, tiarfieid DigriUri
lauieia ana uarneia Lotion, are now occupy
ing the large and eletrant office buildlna and
factory recently erected by them, for many
years the Garfield Kemedles have been grow
ing In popularity, and their success is well
deserved. Tber cure diseases and keen neonl
WW. BUU lUVUf.
Out of Place.
Cholly I get auch frightful head
aches lately. Doctor thinks, perhaps,
there's some foreign substance In my j
bwaln. '
Miss Peppery Ah! An Idea, per-!
t.n 111.11. J.I. I.. .1 1
av. ruiittuvivuttt jrreBB.
Sarcatic.
Voice from up stairs Ethel!
Ethel Ves, papa.
. Voice Please tell that young man
that if he thinks he would like this
house for a permanent residence, the
place Is for sale on easy terms, at the
office of Skinn ft Shark, the real es
tate agents.
A Trai Prophecy.
ftabb I believe Madam DeTouch
can foretell one s future accurately.
Dabb Nonsense.
Nabb But she said a cold, haughty
man would cross my path.
Dabh Well, as I left her apartments
the iceman
patch.
entered. Pittsburg DIs-
In the Philadelphia Style.
'The Sultan of Jolo has given a fifty
year aDsoiute concession ol the Island
of Paragua to one of the native
princes.
"Well, say, the Sultan of Jolo must
think he's the Mayor Ashbridge of the
rniiippmes," Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Tte nil
EM TOY Q
DISEASED
When there is a natural and healthy circulation of toe blood, the entire
quantity, estimated atone-eighth the weight of the body, passes through the heart
every five tninutes. This rapid flow of the blood through the system prevents the
entrance of disease germs and impurities of every description. It filters out all that
Is not necessary or good for the growth and development of the body and nourish,
tog and strengthening the muscles, tissues, nerves and bones. But, unfortunately,
few persons can rightly claim an absolutely pure blood supply and perfect and
unpolluted circulation, and in consequence are exposed to innumerable diseases.
Contagious Blood Poison, the greatest enemy to mankind, enters the system
through the blood, and Cancer, Scrofula, Rheumatism, Catarrh, Eczema, Salt
Kheum, Psoriasis, Tetter in fact the majority of human ailments are caused bv.
poisons or humors that are engen- '
aCoverShed bltMd C0 ' CttUrCO
:coTgd:ZS Strength
naturally grows thin and pale because of the lack of the red corpuscles that eive
color and strength to youhful blood. Sallow complexions and rough, oily skins
evidence some constitutional or blood trouble, which salves, lotions, powders nor
any external treatment can cure. Diseases that originate la the blood, whether
they manifest themselves as ulcers, tumors, itching eruptions, muscular or bone
paias, require a tonic and blood purifier such aa 8. 1. 8., which not only antidotes
f? fw P0"0"" fln1 humors, but possesses health-giving tonic proper,
tie. that no other blood medicine does. It goes down to the very foundatiorfof
trth4rt 'nt0 disease and eliminates from the system every
rStMlUMSa LMiStQa thing of a poisonous character or that obstructs and
rmm nf... , ckgs the circulation. It build up and imparts
L.3mCZi3 ew strength and vitality to the old fanutritious
.,, . .,. .... blood, and when the arteries and veins are once
Bore filled with new rich blood, the general health begin to improve, muscles
grow stronger, and sores and eruptions of every kind disappear
S.S. S. is the only guaranteed purely vegetable blood purifier, and the purest
and mo i reliable in all blood diseases. It has been tested in thouMndsfcase.
during the past fifty years and is more popular today than ever. We will be glad
to send you our book free, and if in need of medical advice write our physicians all
about your case J this information will cost you nothing and comes from expert-
need and educated doctors. All coirrapondence is conducted in strictest
wnfideace, THE SWIFT SPECIFli COMPANY, ATLANTA, QA?
it was only a
before I experienced
renoi. i have recommended the
pills to many, for I am confident that
benefit will follow their use."
There is hardly a person who does
not worry at times and fret about
tilings tnat go wrong. Ana worry is
responsioie lor aa much sickness a
any other cause. It interferes with
the action of the stomach and rack
the nerves. The result is that the
blood becomes poor and the nervous
nystem unpaired. The power of Dr,
W illiams' Pink Pill for Pale People
in me vast numixr ol diseases due to
derangement of the nervous system
or to impure blood has been demon
strated in thousands of instance a
remarkable as the one related above.
They euro locomotor ataxia, partial
paralysis, at. Vitus dance, sciatica,
neuralgia, rheumatism, nervous head
ache, after effects of the grip, palpita
tion of the heart, pale and sallow
complexions, and all forms of weak
ness either in male or female. At all
druggists, or direct from Dr. Will
iams Medicine Co., 8chenecfady, N.
Y., 60 cent per box: six boxes.
12.50..
Sisterly Sympathy,
Gwendolen How late von ar far
What have you been doing all tha af-
ternoonT
Maud Helping the Grisbys at their
at home" and making mvaelf a-onnrai.
ly fascinating and agreeable.
Gwendolen Poor thine! What a.
hard day's work for you! Punch.
back part of my prison bouse was as
flexible a If the paper of the adjuring
room were only strained on canvas
across tt.
Aa idea struck ma Nothing cou'd
be easier than to take my peukulfe and
cut a silt sufficiently lung for me to
step through Into the next apartment.
I was Just oa the point of carrying
out this Idea when I heard footsteps.
and a cheery voice without exclaiming;
"Oh, I say, old fellow, you there stlill
We'd forgotten all about you till a mo
ment ago. This Is almost too much of
a joke. You might have been there all
night"
Then, seeing the knife In my hand, be
Inquired If I bad contemplated suicide
during my solitude.
Certainly not; only I wasn't going to
be shut up in such a place when I
found that I could cut through tbat
partition.'
Partition! What, tbat canvas at the
backr
His look of horror startled me.
Yes, and why not?"
"Good beavensl Why, you were en
the point of walking through I'hllde
Harold's Pllgrlmage'-gettltig throug!)
six thousand pounds at one step, to say
the least of It;"
It was true enough, too, as I after
ward discovered. It was Turner'
masterpiece which stopped the way.
and not, as I had supposed, a canvas
wall. One moment more, and I should
have gained a notoriety - In the art
world which few would hare envied
me. Youth's Companion.
A Boon ! th Northwest Which h Liked fcy
Und Owners.
Tha famous "Anchor" fence that l
being so generally introduced now in
the northwest ha the universal dis
tinction of being even better than its
friends claimed, . The Portland
Anchor Fence Company ha agent
all ovor the oountry now introducing
tin really wonderful fence. It siln-
plicity,extreme durability, and cheap
ness make everybody marvel.
To aatiafy the general interest, an
officer of the company was asked to
doscrilie the chief point of construc
tion, lie said:
"In the first place, it is made of all
large wires, the upright stay being
of Ko, 8, and the running of Ko. 9
wire, which singly stand a breaking
strain of 1,600 pound. In the second
place there is not a'small, weak or
twisted wire used in our fenco con
struction. "The upright are o ecurily fast
ened that man or beast cannot break
the fence down.
"The end, corner and gate posts
must be large, and securely braced,
and o placed that the center of tho
post will be on a line with the faco
of the line posts. After the post are
set, fasten one end of the wire and
run to the other end cr corner post,
where the wire are cut, passed
through the center of poet, then at
tached to the automatic ratchet and
tightened to a hard tension, Ueo a
gauge to keep the wires at a uniform
spacing before stapling to line posts,
and do not drive staples tight, but
allow room for the wire to work.
Take upright stay and place equal
distance, put on the damps and close
with clamp pincers. These clump
will hold, you cannot get the wires to
move. . i nis is me secret of our lence.
It's the most economical and stur
diest fence on earth. Tell the people
to send to the Portland Anchor Fence
Co., 742 Nicholai street, Portland,
Ore., for free photographs and full
description."
FARM MACHINERY Af!D SUPPLIES.
JfitclielL
1
TA VKK ties., 1st anil Tavlur Sia.. j-urtlaml. OS
Jtfltt pfO-
Ma; III SHI I rimi.it.jf. fovtmrv
1, W ! m
Rm. pwiibitobi.H1. Vt mtrlal,
vmnlttu. Una. flit 1th. I. Ik I
PS$ gay
Beat and onlv
JMrlmi blower out.
fer on Hi, marital,
nit for olroKlaf,
Mitchell, Lewis
Hiaver (Jo.
Portland. Ore,
JOHN POOLE, Portland, Oregon,
. feet el Merrteoa Street,
Can tlv von tha bsst bars-alna l
hUiKgle, Plow, Boiler and Kngln,
wimimtlii and rump and Uensraj
Machinery, Sea u before buying.
tOIAUSSE d PHI
87 and 89 First Street, Portland, Oregon.
Telephone, Oak lt
All Kinds Carried In Stock.
Catalogue Furnished
Upon Application.
ewU'M. l
IToot-reoB j
PRU00IAN GTOCK FOOD
The Orat Conditioner and Btnrlt furtww, ttORSHw aw
- Mnr Work en Lass rwi COWS alve Mors aai4 kkaw
Atllk. MOOS Pattaa Ouk.ar al given IMS feed.
Paokaga, COo mnq tl.oa
MARKS TUi OROW-OUOU OB tTl'NTEU CAtTBi.
Pipssiss) Kausnv Co.. Kt. Pant, Mlna. "
0ti.uh : I have been terrtui your Pat'tlnta Stock Foob to tni
thorouvriiril swine. It aivra thm aa appetite, and makee the Dies
grow. I also tried it On stunted calves with aatl.ractsrjr multa.
. 1. ,.., im t.U?l W
FREE
CARNIVAL
TICKETS
In order thai ths general public may undVraltnd
I he special bargains now offered la shits and men'
furnishings, w will present a ticks! of admuaioa
to ths Carnival CDCC with every cur
chase of goods a- rntc mounting to $5.50
from our Hock. Our aim It to supply ths greatest
poetibU value for the least money,
M. BILLINGS, 220 Morrison St., Portland, Or,
Hs Urew the Line.
"Hold on there!" called Charon to
the new arrival at the ferry over the
Styx." "You wait until the next trip,
and I'll take you over alone."
"Why this distinction?" Inquired
one of the spirit passengers.
"Oh. he's one of those fools that rock
the boat, and I don't want to spoil the ' tumn or winter.
trin lur mo real cji tdu . wha r mnr.
American.
The Absents of It
If there is any truth in the sayin
that happiness is the absence of all
pain, mental and physical, the enjoy
meut of it can only be found ir
heaven. But so far as the physical ft
wuuium, 11, in Kiimii easy reach; at
eaai measuraoiy so, as larascura will
go. Iheeumof human miserv
this line is made up of ereater or !
degrees of physical suffering. The
minor aches and paina which afflict
manicina are easy to reach and
easily cured. There are none in the
whole catagory,. which, if taken in
time, cannot be cured.,. They must
In some form afflict the nerve, the
bones, the muscles and joints of the
human body. They are all more or
less nurtini and wasteful to the svs
tern. St. Jacobs Oil is made to cure
them, to search out hidden rutin snots.
and to cure promptly in a true reme
j ; .. 1 .. j , . .
umt niiu jaatinir way. V erv. verv
many have not known, hapniness for
years tin tney used tt, and very jnanv
are putting off cure and happiness be
cause tney aon 1 use it.
A, Wonderful Echo.
The most remmarkable echo in thn
world is tbat which comes from the
north side of a church in Shipley,
it distinctly repeat any sentence
not exceeding 21 syllables.
What Is "Nothing;"?
An old Scotch farmer, being elected
meniDer 01 tna local school hnaM
visited the school and testH tha in.
telligence of the class by his dues-
iiits nrsr, inquiry waa:
fcr l . .
uu, ootb, can onr or va on ma
wnar. naetnmg isr
Alter a moment's silence, a email
ooy in the back seat aroje and rnii.
ed:
'It's what ye rie me t'other rlnv tnr
haudin' yer horse!" London Answer.
A Wild Coos.
Say. daddy. I notice, in the iun
that Chicago university is giving away
" titj. u. sun ten , u. U degree.
wunr. uo inuBu u g mean 7
Where does this happen?
"At the University of CMpaim
"Then they must mean riniiura
vieveiana iiam Dealer,
4 ' A Suf Thing.
Promoter Now, In case the stock
goes up," you win.
Financier Yes: but In can ft nut.
Promoter Then I win. Yon a. hi.
la a sure thing; one or the other of us
Is sura to win." Ohio State Journal.
Aa Insinuation.
Willie Paw. la tha devil v.rv
place? '
Father Yes; every place, my son;
now, don't bother me any more.
Willie I won't, paw; but ain't you
afraid to go out after night? Ohio
State Journal.
I i rV
I 1 nesi t-oucn t
f I In time.
if. All 1, ,r H.,l:-L
vvhbu Bjrup. Taauie ck
rV! r,r
m. vse 1
'"' """""-aua
How Things Grow In Hawaii.
How great are the possibilities of Ha
waii as a fruit aud vegetable growing
country will be understood when It be
comes known that four crops of pota
toes have been produced In succession
on the same piece of land within twelve
months. Radishes become edlblo ten
days after sowing. Strawberry vine
bear fruit all the year. The berries are
of the finest flavor.
Cabbage grows all the yenr and It ap
parently makes no difference whether
' It Is planted In the spring, summer, au-
Parsley once sown
grow forever, apparently. Lima beans
continue to grow and bear for over a
year, aud they have to be gathered
every week after starting to bear. Cu
cumbers bear the entire year and so
do tomatoes, which, with proper atten
tion, bear for years. Itaxplierries bear
for six months
Pineapples come Into ben ring when
the plants are four mouths old and
bear In abundance for years. Lettuce
can be planted at any time, and It de
velopes quickly. The same Is true of
celery. Fruit Trade Journal and Pro
duce Record.
Real Names of Some Noted Rulers.
Suppose that some morning there
should appear In the newspapers such
an Item as this: "XI r. and Mrs. Albert
E. Wettin, accompanied by their
nephew, Mr. Frederick V. V. A.
HohenzoJIern, sailed yeKterdny from
Liverpool for New York." How many
people would give more than a punning
glance at this announcement 1 Yet it
would be a piece of news calculated
to throw the people of New York, and
the whole of this country, In fact. Into
a paroxysm of excitement and feverish
expectation, a must be admitted when
the name of King Edward VII., Queen
Alexandra and Emperor William of
Germany are respectively substituted
for the true family names given In the
supposititious item. Then there Is the
youthful matron, Mr, nenry Heli werln.
who wields more power than any other
woman of twenty-one now living. Hhe
I known to the world a Wllhcluiliia
of Holland, and la the only queen In
the world to-day with the same power
as a King. Ladle' Home Journal.
Low Orsds of Intelligence.
"It's astonishing, Jim Bangs, that
you don't know enough to come home
before daylight! Why can't you Imi
tate the moon?"
"Wha's matter wl moon?"
"Why, the moon know enouah to
drop out of alght when it's full."
Boston Journal.
TO CrBSJ A COLD IN OMB) DAI
Take Laxative Bromo Onlnlne Tahlau. All
Jnijrgtsts refund the mnuev II II falls to rare.
B. W.Urove's signature la on each bos. 1M.
impartial. j
Tess I never ee Miss Spinner out
wheeling that Mr. Wheeler and Mr.
Sprocket are not with her.
Jess Yes; she's got them both on
her string. The girls are calling her
"Mis Tandem."
Tees But she rides an Individual
wheel.
Jess But she's a "bicycle maid for
two." Philadelphia Press.
Millions la It
"I ay, I've got a scheme." said
the Inventive genius, "that will make
me Independently rich If I succeed In
perfecting It,"
"What is it?" asked a friend.
"It baa been estimated," continued
the 1. g., "that an ordinary female
house fly will lay 20,000 eggs in a
season."
"Yes, answered the friend, "but
what's the scheme?"
I propose," replied the genius, "to
graft the house fly on the barn yard
hen,"
No Experience.
Dlggs Do you believe ther Is any
truth in the saying that It takes a
genius to live with a geotus?
Biggs No, I don't I never consid
ered my wife a genlu. Chicago News
Potltlv Proof.
Tes Oh. yes; I'm positive aha Is
twenty-live.
Jess I suppose you saw tha record
in the family Iilulo, eh?
Tess Better than that I asked
her at what aire she thought a alrl
should marry, and she promptly laid
twenty-eight" Philadelphia Pre.
As Proxy.
I can't ea why a man of hi sUe
wanta to be crowding women away
from the bargain counter for!" snap-
pea one of the crowded. -
"Madam, plaintively spoke the
large man, turning hi bead to address
her. "I am here aa a representative of
a ramny 01 eleven daughters," Cbl
cago Time. ,
tOV KNOW WHAT TOO Altai TAKING
nea von take drove's Tasteless Chllt Tnnle,
b-wauno I ha formula Is PleJMv primed on every
bottle sbowlne that it li aimflr Iron and Out
iu a taeteteaa loraa. no uura, ks ray. tM.
Truth Cruihcd to Earth.
"What shall I say to theae news
paper men?" asked the private secre
tary ot me great manufacturer.
"What do they want?"
"Our men have been striking all day
and the reporters are after Informa
tion." "Toll them," said the great manu
facturer, "that we are running like
clock work with striking regularity."
If There's. Monty In It
"Do you think the North Polo
will ever be discovered?" asked the
scientist, ... -,
"I could not ay," answered the
capitalist. "Possibly a trust may
Kiine time be purauadnd that there is
money in it." .Washington Star.
Headed Off.
Hobb What, the natter with
Windpipe? He used to be always
boring people with advice, and now he
say so little and seems to be ao
inougtitui.
Nobbs Yes; hi wife conceived the
happy idea of, getting him Into the
habit of writing letters to the news
papers, and now he's too busy to do
anything else. Harper's Basar.
Odd Cttslera.
The women in Germany have a pe
culiar idea in regard to receiving a
rose minus it leaves or groeu foliage.
It is considered a gross insult there
to offer a lady a rose (tripped of It
leaves.
SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES.
BUSINESS COLLEGE,
IS P Street, laa fraairlaoo. Cat,
Tn ledl if Muatane Tnt-tnt s hrS nl ike
eiera roans lean aaa wutaaa
We
far a"iMM Oateere.
I!
Iflfl Oredaaiea mow mo- tnlty
JUU enatriae than- brtaaiaSea.
r fifi Staanan-nSare have haaa
d.uUU miuni at HxiS'a
I fin i Nearlr l.w ile ee
,UU ' rolla last reae.
Avetase daily attaaeaaee.
tart Heartr (vaAeslas teat
j la. l"IOM i"( is
... ASSIIIrmal eeammuriSarM
TUN at vmt tfcat rout at he
AWU S 1,4 tr laa at arariualM.
ITypvw.Hing aiaf-hinte la
I tne 1 rpiaa trwnmanl.
ICeunlta ta California rB
rMtvttlt ,1 last yr.
Keaift'e HiWuamCoi pye Is
VMtrljr 01 yvare old.
Teachers amphire la ihe
arltuol.
.States an larrllerlasaaaS
If stirasuia la toe eotiage If
I leal yaar. I I
7Iortlt eouetrtae ef rep m
reeantad. la the alnsval
butty lael y.ar. f
3Thra art) tbrta Oanka la
Ue IliialaM mautloe W
Kaiairtmael. w
V-hool fa open tke eatira laar, day ee slekt. .
Write for IllaatrataS CataUaae rrars.
Lucky Maa
"The man next door to you 1 going
off on a summer vacation. Why don't
you uu a rest, tool"
"I'll get It now. He' going to take
his whole family. Including hi pro
pounding daughter, his howling dog,
and all that," Philadelphia Press.
Summer Keiolutlotih
nv ilcQloy Gura
Sure relief horn lienor, eplnsa aod to bases
aauis, seaa iof pariieulars ts
KlsllV Instifllt Moved to 4J Wllllame
StU TO S5.C0 PER"lUTf
Kaalljr made for the neil 00 dava, Klline an
attractive line of Holiday Goods. For full par
ticulara sond nam and arldresa to
AI.HKKT HEtPBErt, '
Itar Bids., Chlrajo, Ula
a W, M. P. Mm, St L.
WHi!!..rH'!:f aelvttlswa ploaao
aaettUsei shle napeaa
Smoke and Fire.
"Mr, Waffles," said the landlady, "I
have a word to say to you."
"Make It a dozen, Mrs. Fry," remark
ed the young man.
W!Lr Woffle ttiA lon.lln.1
jut, h(iuiii .uc rauuiau, uu
have been smoking In the parlor."
"Yes, Mrs. Fry "
"You have smoked In the parlor many
times, Mr. Waffles. , And you bare
moked In your room, and in the li
brary, and even la the dining room
and you owe mo for three weeks' board,
Mr. Waffles." '
"Yes, Mrs. Fry."
"Where there Is so much smoke, Mr.
Waffles, there must be some fire."
80 ebe fired blm. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Florida's Dismal Swamp,
There Is, perhaps, ao part of the
United Slates which has been so little
explored a the Great Dismal Swamp,
unle It be the everglades of Florida,
This great body of land, covered with
forest growing iu six to ten feet of
water, extend over an area of about
2,400 square miles, Its greatest width
being 40 miles and its greatest length
00 miles.
First American Book Printed.
The first book printed In the limit
of the United State was the "Bay
Psalms Book," which was Issued In
Cambridge, Mass., In 1040, Specimen
of thl publication are extremely rare
and command very high price.
AVregc(abk PreparaUonfor As
similating theFoodanclKegula
ling theStoinactB and Bowels of
Promotes DigcalionChecrfur
ness and Rest.Conta.ns neither
Sium,Morplune norMiueral.
otNahcotic.
av mroun-SAMMLPimm
Aveas oW
jitugg AmS
. twmaas -
cMViaa .km
A perfect Remedy forConsllp
Tion, Sour Sloraach.DiarrtvKa
Worms ,Convulsions,Fcwnsh
rves and Loss or Sleep.
facsimile Signature of
NEW YORK.
EXACT COPY Of WRAPPER.
The Kind Ton Have Always, Bought, and which has been,
in use for over so vmn. tumi . -
v r wv.w vuv BIuaMUVI Va.
ana nas Deen made under hJs per
sonai npervwion since It infancy.
Allotf BO AM tAdUVilva arnn In Shta.
All Counterfeits, Imitation and " Jast-as-frood" are but?
Experiments that trifle with and endanger the health of
Infiuits and Oilldren Experience ajfalnst Experiment.
hat Is CASTORIA
Castorla Is a harmless substitute for Castor OIL Pare
trorlc, JDropa and Soothing- Byrups. It Is Pleasant. 16
contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other NarcoUo
substance. Its age Is Its guarantee. It destroys Worms
and allays Feverlshncss. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind
"rU1: r.cliovc Teething Troubles, cures Constipation
and Flatulency. It assimilates the Pood, regulates tha
CEWOIflE CASTORIA ALV7AYQ.
Sears tha Cignatnrs of
S7
Tho Kind You to Always Bonijnt
In Us0 For Over 30 Vcarts.
!"""""' " "MWW "w veaa rv