ST. HELENS MIST, FRIDAY. MAY 26, 1916
THE FOG HORN
Irt Your Tmiter Toot,
No. a
Cushion Nolo
.ir..K...i In modern stylo,
L,d that In wl,y the neighbor, laugh
r" . .1 trln and smile.
AI" t"" ' "
Did you ever have a 2th pulled?
vu mini ,U ow" t,,e
Lwl girl t ml,ua llmu'
In un argument wl,h J,,l,n Mtt""
J. II. Thutcher mude tlio ro-
Lrk tlmt during the 'ift twenty
Lit Willi"'" J''Ik liryuii bus
rui'lt'u DUU.uuu iuu, wiiivii
oiiiutfl Hurold Ross to rBiimry mat
Lllli all Wllllitui'M IravoltiiK he nuver
,t jnywIi'T" - except uacKwarus.
Ho win engaged J""1 bubbling
l,.r with love. Ho bought an en
ttfoini'iil ring from Von Gray and
rall oil the Inside. Von fainted.
A kiml friend hanilcil un thin olio:
Jr you no homo will" roll In your
fcockcl. you urn greeted mom urroe-
iionui'ly. lf the r1" your
Valk, you're not welcome. Maybe
o known.
Dr. Kdwln Hons states It I not
Mill pulley 10 ll the HalllO t) Sllllg
ou twice - I" the sumo pluco.
A. 1'. Harnett uf It In a positive
,rl tliut nothing comes back that
.11 'I good.
V. II. Hllliird, who U consluored
very K'"'d I'Ut In scholar, coulrlb-
litis! thin (or the Kok Horn: "In re-
i) InK kindness wo ouKht to Imitate
rtilo lauds, wlilcli glvo much more
iuii they Imvo received." Iilllurd
.; In' lic.iril someone say Cicero
Irul Dili.
Tim remain lir. I,. U. Ross wrotit
r u.i tlio poem on "Hwut tlio Fly"
n liuki'd out. During the summer
uio (which Ih fly lime) Dr. Ross
Vm III a certain I'ortlund rcaluuruul
& nil lookliiK over Ilia tempting dls
ili of pics, nuked tlio waller for a
urtloii of rurrunt pin. Ho was tu
rmoil that It wan not currant pin
.it custard. Whereupon tlio doctor
nt Hi" Idea of swatting.
A lackey In Uio While Houho doe
illilni! Inn remove day from tlio
t-ulrmhir. Tim Janitor gather thorn
l tml hi'IIii tlioin tar dule. (Look
luMI I
AIhhiI tlio only porno n who iIouhii'I
Irirm to think a candidate for office
S llur, In lil.i mother.
A ulruy luillol whizzed punt the
I. '-ul of iln editor of tlio Herald the
Lit duy. Iliul it Mtruck him, It
would Imvo glanced off.
Little Oraco HiiIIukIi, who Blurred
Intho rolo of Trlxlo Frlganzl ut the
Mut show, has now turned poetess,
according to hor futlior, who handed
u tlila one an Grace's Idea of tlio
lent arrlvul nt the llallugh homo:
"Dnnr Ood, I nood you awful hud
I don t know wliut to do;
My pupu'a crosii, my mamma's alck:
I hain't got no friend hut you.
Them keorhms angels wont uud
brung,
'Htld of the boy I am,
A weenchy, teonchy baby girl;
1 don't see how they dusl!
Buy, (lod, I wlnh't you'd take hor
back,
Hhe's just aa good as new;
Won't no ono know sho's secondhand,
llut 'ceptln' ma and you.
And pick a boy. dour tJod, yourself.
The iilcest In the fold;
llut please don't choone him quite so
young,
I'd like him flvo yenrs old."
I'M snys he puns ceimorHhlp on
thin.
Judgo M. V. II aen was In l.onts,
Oregon, Kevenil weeks ago. Ho
Htityed over Hunduy anil went to
church, Inking with him his little
giiitidilauKlitor. At tlio service, tho
minister Hpoko at some longth on the
needs Of the mlsBliinurlos among the
camillml trlltes In Africa. When lit
tle Miiis lliixeu wont home, she linked
hor mother If ciiiinllmU wore cloth
ing, and when Informed by her moth
er Unit they did not, alio ai.keil;
"Well, why did grmiddiiddy drop a
button in tlio collection banket?" It
Is our opinion that Mut wus misin
formed as to the needs of the mls
silonurlcii. ('has. Drown, our deputy sheriff,
miys McCoy's song, "Hometliucs In
Dreams," sounds all right, but oftou
timed there comes un awakening,
which Is not no ple.munt.
Hal ley Turner has sent In his ap
plication for membership In the llim
uluya Club.
How many poptuto peelings would
It reiiulre to shluglo a MethodlHt
church containing tlireo ProshyterluD
preachers?
Drouses are much shorter according
to the prevailing style, hut men look '
longer. j
Jack DeSpulu wiys there's one place
you cun't find a Jitney In tho dlc-j
llunary.
In dincusnlng the probability of
complications with Germany, George j
Slihm iniulo this remark: "If we do;
not get some preparedness out of this;
wur scare, what wna tlio lino in glv-
Ing ll to us?"
I
f t m a .....
,,h.,kh W MOOHK A r,PP4T AltTn
The Loyal! MOBILE FEAT
Order o f ,
"umfed aJ , JU i"uto'0," red a not
It is upon " ' trll""u" l K- Uuker's trans
the true continental trip. Witli a Bingle com
ma n h o od panlon, a newspaper man who went
surew' a'" 'l'"g ,l"!i';:ly ttB a wmpnnlon, Mr.
orgiDlw-""1" mul0 11,0 dltanc f' Is
tion t h a t A"Kl-'s to New York, nearly 3500
appeuls to. miles, In seven and a hulf days.
the nnriuin ! , - - , . .
v - . r- ," " oniy twice tne time taken
terented in tho uplift of humanity y tllB tuHt,!Ht through trains, which
and betterment of conditions along UB0 a route more than 200 miles
absolute lemn!!,,"l Up0". " plano of '""lr- And In some Important res-
Ono and One for All." This order is ' roadl, to Bl"""0, Mr- Uier used
one whose groat endeavor l h. : ""'y one cur, and drove It every mile
amulgumatlon of Dm i,'...
of each community Into one big bro
herliood, whoso objects and alms arc
ho advancement of social, educa
tlonu and morul dovolopment. Tho
rltuul, beuutlful and elevating incul
cates upon the novice our tenets:
rurlty, Aid and Progress."
Ai'!TThe ,'oyul rder ot Moose Is
Aid to Its members. If misfor
tune overtakes a brother, if sicklier
or accident or business rcverf.es he
fl him. tho Order KXTENDS THE
hl.l'INu HANI). For him It speaks
the Good Word." contributes to his
needs and helps ;o overcome diffi
culties. Heals Them All Do you know
tlmt tho Uyal Ord ;r of Mooso is Ini
tiating moru members th-.n all other
fnitornul -organizations in America
combined?
Its Huge Assets Do you know
that the Hupreme and Subordinate
Lodge assets of tlio Loyal Order of
Mooso are three and one-half mil
lions? The democratic spirit of the Loyal
Order of Moose enables the business
man and Mb employe, the profes
sional man anil his client, to com
mingle and exchange Ideas of Inesti
mable value. Every employer who
advises his employe to Join a frater
nal organization to which he himself
belongs has not only advanced his
own Interests, hut has performed an
act of far-reaching results.
PROCLAMATION
Governor Wlthycomho has Issued
a proclamation, designating May 26
as Oregon lllrd dny and urging that
each hoy und girl In tho state on
that day try to become better ac
fjuitintcd with tho bird life of the
stuto and. If possible, do something
toward promoting Interest In the ac
tivities of their feathered friends. The
proclamation was Issued on petition A rep0rt comeg from 80Utliorn Ore-
i a iurKe nuuioer or scnooi children j g0I, thut an a0pcai may t)e ma(io to
; Governor Wlthycombe to establish a
1 state patrol along the Pacific high
: way to prevent the bringing of iu
' toxical ing liuuors Into the state from
; California. It is feared that many
automobile accidents will result dur
, Ing tho summer unlesB precautions
In the ISlukeslev lli.ll.line. next to a, tttK0 t0 cut down tll tra"lc
Wood,;' Pool Hall. ; ovcr tho M&y trom Hornbrook.
of tho way hi in self. It takes twenty-
two locomotives to make the same
trip, and many changes of crews. The
train, it must bo remembered, bus
a smooth tr.-.ck all the way, and the
automobile has to truvel through
mountains, deserts, plains und
swamps with all sorts of highways
and sometimes no highways at all.
Mr. Ilaker was delayed by mud, sand,
by rocky trails, by the blowing out
of tires in the hot desert, by the acci
dental loss of fuel and oil. And yet,
for long sections of the trip, he made
better time than tlio United Stutes
mullu. A letter mailed at Los An
geles before he started, and ad
dressed to him at Dodge City, Kan.,
arrived there two hours after him.
A post card was mulled to him at
Emporia, Kan., Just after he had
passed through, addressed to him at
New York clly. He beat it by an
hou.v j
This is not only a great sporting
achievement for tlio driver. It means
something for the development of the
automobile As a test of mechanical
perfection and endurance, it is worth
Incomparably more Mian all the pur
poseless racing of high power cars
on speedways. For t:iis was a stand
ard cur such as hundreds of thou
sands of citizens are driving every
day. And If such a car can cross
the continent now in seven and a hulf
days, what may be expected after a
few more years of automobile evolu
tion and improved highways?
OV KVKKV HOSE HUSH BLOOMS
A WKLCOMK
PORTLANDS
TENTH ANNUAL ROSE FESTIVAL
KMM'ial Hound Trip 1'ures Duily June 4 to 0 from all (mints on
THE NORTH BANK ROAD
THREE GREAT
IAVS OK FROLIC
AXI PAGEANTRY
DEDICATION OK
COLUMBIA RIVER
HIGHWAY.
SPORT CONTESTS
CONTENTIONS
OPEN' AIR CHORUS
OK fi.000 VOICES
Tuesday Evening, June 6
Crowning of Queen
Wednesday, June 7
Schol Children's Pageant
National Dedication Highway
NiKht Sectac!e .Sinking of Gunboat
by Submarine
Thursday, June 8
I'lorul Pageant
Gun (lull Shoot
State Conventions
Friday, June 9
Military-Civic Peccant
Marine Parade Seed Itont Races
Chinese Paceunt
Concert. Festival Center Dance -I'ultee
Masquerade
Fast Frequent Train Service
New Reduced Round
Trip fares from your
city to Sun Francisco
Daily June 10. To
Knights Templar Con
clave, I.OH AngeleM,
Daily June 12 to 10.
Ask the Agent
J. O. DIVENS, Agent
Houlton, Oregon
St. Helens Restaurant
REMODELED, REFURNISHED
TRY US FOR
CLEAN, WHOLESOME MEALS
SHORT ORDERS
OPEN DAY AND NIGHT
FOOT OF COLUMBIA STREET
STATE PATROL
of Oregon.
SMITH'S MEN'S SHOP
Will open Juno first with a com
plete line of up to (late goods. Watch
for our opening announcement.
I. A. SMITH, Proprietor.
UNOFFICIAL ELECTION RETURNS REPUBLICAN NOMINATING ELECTION, MAY 19, 1916
blnirlct Judge'
J A. Kukln
A. W. Norblud
Itcireneiitiillve
). J Kvenaoii
A. W. Mueller
J. L. Zlpperer
hlntrli-t Attorney
P. V. Herman
(1. O. Metzkor
County Commissioner
A. K. Harvey. , . . , .
James Kennedy, Jr.
Norman Merrill
Henry Ituddlmun . . .
A. II. Tnrbell
County Clerk
A. V. Harnett
Sheriff
J Chlttlm
K. C Stunwood . . . .
Treasurer
Edwin Komi
AmenHor
" T. Ilennntt
' W. Illnkesley. . . .
Superintendent
W. Allen
. K. Dock
surveyor
I J. Van Orshoven.
toronor
T. H. White
a n
2. 2
3 3?
: i 2.
i
X
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15 IK 4!)
7 20 61
6 13 62
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6 13 25
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18 32 80
17 19 47
5 22 62
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16 13 18
16 35 91
17 36 .94
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22 1 4 19 10
32 -81 12 611 60
44 77 16 67 65
38 30 4 33 24
50 66 12 41 38
37 71 13 4 7
11 19 3 32 14
43 79 16 57 69
4g 81 16 67 69
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86 38 40 56 12 47 98 40 42 63 36 808
47 21 16 20 7 31 62 23 18 9 25 486
57 27 25 82 14 44 73 24 63 23 261 693
26 20 19 24 3 70 104 34 12 67 19 475
137 97 61 31 7 61 68 31 61 27 22 764
12 7 IS 101 19 93 165 58 34 69 54 963
100 60 38 28 10 30 31 16 62 5 17 655
19 13 6 7 1 18 19 3 1 2 . 2 149
9 6 6 38 6 33 87 28 5 72 24 451
8 5 9 19 9 17 28 4 15 6 7 224
7 4 9 24 1 42 59 29 6 32 251 256
140 76 71 120 23 130 218 69 82 89 64 1606
60 19 20 49 13' 45 61 23 15 17 10 458
101 61 66 92 10 109 201 68 81 91 74 1410
109 67 51 124 22 120 208 80 74 95 68 1469
73 41 50 54 14 45 86 59 50 78 51 856
06 33 23 80 11 111 167 27 36 31 22 9C4
29 16 31 124 19 124 200 56 67 88 66 1249
126 69 60 16 6 31 64 26 42 19 15 600
103 56 48 126 21 129 208 73 76 83 66 I486
110 61 54 132 24 145 231 84 78 103 7fl 1624
M. ROSENTHAL
CHILDREN'S WHITE DRESSES AND MIDDIES
SPECIAL DISPLAY OF EASTER GOODS
FANCY WAISTS
DIRECT SHIPMENT FROM NEW YORK
LACE WORK DRESS GOODS
SHOES
MEN'S FURNISHINGS -
I
W.J. A
!
i
i
THE CELEBRATED
BERGMANN SHOE
Awarded Gold Medul I P. I. E.
Sun Francisco, 1013. Loggers'
Cruisers, Miners und Sportsmen.
Men's Comfort Press Shoes. Strong
Shoes for Boys.
Manufactured by
THEO. BERGMAN X SHOE MFG. CO.
021 Thiirinun Street PORTLAND, ORE.
ASK FOR THE BERGMAN X WATERPROOF SHOE OIL
AT OUR LARGE STORE YOU WILL ALWAYS FIND A LARGE
STOCK OF DEPENDABLE MERCHANDISE AT REASONABLE
PRICES.
OUR GROCERY STOCK IS COMPLETE
LARGE LINE OF DRESS AND WORK SHOES
NEW LINE OF DRESS GOODS
BEST QUALITY AND AT BEASONABLE PRICE
JUST OXE TRIAL WILL CONVINCE YOU
Phone 35
A. T. KIBLAN
HOULTOX (WEST ST. HELENS)
UNOFFICIAL RECALL ELECTION RETURNS
-"- - - 1 , -" " " .MMMMcant0tnca44 H
P'Ssss-i-: T)223lg:2.gs:
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HIU A: ir(Uirkbo'luc"alied T, " ,7 18 28 187 114 103 68 13 33 47 40 118 4 30 1179
N) turk uo recalled I r gB ,9 ,4 u 27 l n n 20 166 31 142 260 77 32 139 72 1330
Yes 8S6 fl 6:1 4U 4
Fr Jii(K0 , 7 22 183 109 104 64 10 30 33 36 99 4 28 1057
A. L, (!llrk. 3g 35 80 ' 77 16 69 U 24 i & Jfl 2B149 33 142 2n 8 J4 1S8 72 1369
ll- H. Huttnn 9 26 67 68 49 61 "
"hall A. R. Hurvoy 'be Vocul'lod ' . 49 33 26 189 113 97 66 14 60 64 36 117 6 34 1252
N 36 34 105 94 19 71 17 42 f J3 u ,g H8 29 ug 244 u s3 130 61 1200
Yug . . s 20 42 44 48 48 5
P(,f ''mnnilHslmiorll , , aa 27 20 180 104 97 64 10 44 40 32 93 5 31 1147
A. K narv07 34 30 101 98 18 65 15 44 27 JU jg 2n n , 60 u20
N. Merrill 0 25 34 33 47 49 0
R'H J ml son w'La V " " ".i'-'i' ' 98 26 181 110 99 66 14 69 123 . 49 132 12 46 1395
mlson .Weed ho recalled J(. 23 gB 17 4 28 26 181 110 jg iu
Yes " s till 34 37 42 29 6
PnM:ommV,,i,.'n'; 41 2 12 16 14 131 SO 83 163 64 21 112 40 062
"THldTelrr 0 23 33 41 46 35 67 JJ J lgQ 10fl 101 fl8 10 67 , u 44 1290
Hudson w3d ..;!;.;;!; ; m 10 08 -ii
Play Croquet
I have a complete line of Croquet Sets just in
Also
REFRIGERATORS
at prices to suit the purse. And
OIL COOK STOVES
Any kind desired.
E. A. ROSS
Furniture Undertaking