Commentary
Oregon Daily Emerald
Wednesday, October 19,2005
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■ In my opinion
THE CARTMAN CONNECTION
It may happen tomorrow. It may
happen Friday. It may be happening
right now as you read this. Hopefully
it does not happen after my deadline
today, making this intro outdated. But
if it does happen, it may well be as ear
ly as this week. I am talking about the
possible indictment of White House
officials in the Plamegate scandal.
In other news, Comedy Central has
been playing a countdown of Cart
man’s 25 Greatest Moments to amp up
viewers for tonight’s season premiere
of South Park.
I’ve been following both stories,
and as I eagerly await well-deserved
indictments and well-written satire, I
have noticed a few similarities. Basi
cally, Karl Rove and Eric Cartman are
freakishly similar.
Both are chubby, arguably pure evil
and definitely vengeful. Neither is op
posed to exploiting others for personal
gain. Both feel a sense of entitlement
that seems unfounded to the rest of us.
Both play off the fear and ignorance of
others. Both Rove and Cartman’s
friends know these things, and allow
them to pursue their outrageous plans.
There are very specific allusions to
Karl Rove through the character of Cart
man. Take for example, episode num
ber 95, “My Future Self n’ Me.” Cart
man is the man behind “The Parental
Revenge Center of Western America,”
the place where Butters and Stan go to
seek revenge on their parents. As it
turns out, Cartman’s only plan involves
smearing poo all over the parents’
homes. Karl Rove is, likewise, known
for his smear tactics, especially re
venge. President Bush’s nickname for
Rove is “TUrd Blossom.” The Parental
Revenge Center of Western America
could easily be renamed The Dissenter
Revenge Center of America with Rove
taking Cartman’s place as leader.
ARMYFETH
RHETORIC CHECK
In “The Passion of The Jew,” Cart
man leads a neo-Christian movement.
The basis for his beliefs is the movie,
“The Passion of The Christ,” which he
has seen 34 times. Cartman starts a
“Mel Gibson ‘The Passion’ Fan Club”,
and recruits evangelical Christians to
join his mission. It was Karl Rove’s
strategy to target evangelicals during
the 2004 election. The Christians Cart
man gathered simply wanted to cele
brate their rebirth, while Cartman ul
timately wanted them all to go see
“The Passion of The Christ” again.
Karl Rove wanted deeply religious cit
izens to vote for Geoige W. Bush. Both
Rove and Cartman exploit people’s
genuine religious beliefs in order to
further their own self-serving causes.
Revenge by Rove and Cartman is
also often grossly disproportionate to
the harm they endure. An episode rated
by viewers as one of Cartman’s greatest
moments was “Scott Tenorman Must
Die.” In this episode, Cartman is fooled
and humiliated several times by Scott
Tenorman. Each time, it is because
Cartman has done something stupid
and has been caught or called out on it.
In the end, Cartman devises a success
ful plan ending with tricking Tenor
man into eating his own dead parents,
then getting his heroes (Radiohead) to
laugh at him when he finally breaks
down. The plan is brilliant, well
thought out and completely ruthless.
Outing Valerie Plame as a CIA agent
is an equally disproportionate revenge.
Plame’s husband, Joseph Wilson,
traveled to Africa and wrote an essay
about the absence of “yellowcake”
uranium. His article accused the Bush
administration of “exaggerating the
Iraqi threat.” Soon, Robert Novak
leaked the fact that Plame was a CIA
agent. This may be treason. By leaking
the information, Rove endangered the
safety of Plame, Wilson, and their
families. He also ruined the career of a
woman whose job was to track
weapons of mass destruction. Rove’s
plan was equally well-planned, evil
and brilliant.
Both Cartman and Rove do not di
rectly execute revenge, but rather ma
nipulate others to do their dirty busi
ness. Rove used journalists to do
something he knew was illegal. He
counted on them to protect him if they
got in trouble, because good journal
ists are supposed to ensure the confi
dentiality of their anonymous sources.
And if they do squeal to avoid jail, like
Novak, then they appear cowardly. If
they don’t squeal even with permis
sion, like Judith Miller, they appear
overly-loyal and biased. Either way,
the institution of journalism is tar
nished by this. Branding the media as
untrustworthy is a major underlying
theme in Rove’s quest to control
America. If Rove is indicted and con
victed though, he is almost certainly
assured a pardon by President Bush.
Much as they are similar, we have
to remember that Cartman is not real
and Rove is. Most of the time, Cart
man ends up getting what is coming
to him by the end of the episode. Let’s
hope Rove gets what is coming to him
at the end of this two-year drama.
afeth@dailyemerald. com
■ Guest commentary
We need a Democratic Party,
not just an Anti-Bush Party
Six weeks after Katrina, rescuers
are still reporting no signs of the De
mocratic Party. Even back in Wash
ington, where mobs of rich, white
Republicans are amassing atop the
Capitol building frantically awaiting
Coast Guard airlifts out of a city
awash in a flood of cronyism, cor
ruption and incompetence, Democ
rats are nowhere to be found.
Recent post-Katrina and post-in
dictment polls find Republican ap
proval ratings reaching new lows.
Surprisingly, Democratic approval
ratings are tanking as well. Simply
standing by as the other guy falls
down is no way to appear taller.
The Democratic Party has spent
the last almost five years doing little
more than aiming cannon fire at the
Republican armada, albeit justifi
ably. But as those once unsinkable
Republicans finally take on water,
Democrats, for years having offered
no big ideas of their own to set them
apart and keep them afloat, are sink
ing right alongside.
Political parties win elections by
winning the battle of ideas. They
win by offering a vision, even if that
vision is sadly little more than one of
safety and security. They don't win
control solely because their rivals
seem to be losing it. They don’t win
by being the lesser of two evils. His
tory shows that when faced with a
choice between evils, voters will al
ways choose the evil they know.
Democrats must move beyond be
ing the anti-Bush, anti-Republican
party. If that were all it took to win
elections, John Kerry would be in
the White House, and Democrats
would be in control of the Senate.
However justified, the Democrat
ic Party’s anger-driven, single-mind
ed focus on the person of George
Bush, rather than his palpably un
just policies, has been their undoing.
An anti-Bush platform cannot hold
the weight of all the pressing nation
al needs deserving of center stage.
An anti-Bush platform only serves to
confirm the negative nature of poli
tics, and harden the assumptions of
powerlessness many feel to change
what is.
An anti-Bush platform presumes
the president as the cause of all our
problems rather than representative
of them. Democrats must wake up
to the fact that George Bush is just a
man, and as certain as no man is an
island, no man is either a nation.
Democrats must let go of the falla
cy that winning the 2006 and 2008
elections will simply be a matter of
doing a better job mobilizing their
base. Democrats must instead learn
to mobilize and persuade, rather
than simply mobilizing the persuad
ed. They must face up to the fact
that there is no great, untapped re
serve of liberal voters out there. The
supply has passed its peak, and De
mocrats must explore for other
sources of energy.
To have any chance of capitalizing
on the Republican Party’s self-inflict
ed wounds, Democrats must lay out
a positive agenda beyond just kick
ing the Republicans while they’re
down. Voters, especially the large
swath of voters in the moderate mid
dle, are waiting to hear from Democ
rats about positive, visionary ideas
that address multiple problems si
multaneously while strengthening
progressive and American values.
Simply continuing to be the anti
Bush Party will only sink the
hapless Democratic Party further
into the minority.
Todd Huffman is a pediatrician,
writer and a registered
Democrat living in Eugene.
■ Editorial
Prisoner's
abortion is
protected by
Constitution
Abortion has long been a hot-button issue for
the U.S. Supreme Court, and the topic has gar
nered attention lately during the process of fill
ing vacancies on the court. But here’s a new
take on the issue: Does a woman’s right to
abortion extend to prison inmates?
The court this week determined that one
woman serving a four-year jail sentence for
a parole violation can have an abortion
while imprisoned.
Missouri officials originally denied the
woman’s abortion request, arguing that state cit
izens should not be required to fund an inmate’s
abortion. A 1986 Missouri law makes it illegal to
use public funds, employees or facilities for en
couraging a woman to have an abortion not nec- *
essary to save her life.
The Missouri woman, referred to by the court
as Jane Roe, sued the state after it denied her re
quests for an abortion, and U.S. District Judge
Dean Whipple ruled that the Supreme Court has
specified women have a constitutional right to
abortion, according to news reports. He ordered
the state to transport her to St. Louis to have
an abortion.
We agree with the ruling in this case on
several grounds.
Regardless ot her position as an incarcerated
citizen, Roe remains a citizen of the United
States. Roe v. Wade made it explicitly clear that a
woman’s body is her own domain under privacy
rights granted by the 14th Amendment. Later, in
Planned Parenthood v. Casey, it ruled that the
right to an abortion is a “liberty” protected by the
Due Process Clause of the 14th Amendment.
But how does Due Process apply to prisoners?
It may seem that Roe gave up some of her rights
by violating the law. Prisoners generally give up
many rights to privacy. They can be searched,
and they can only converse with outside people
at certain times. Yet as mandated by the eight
amendment, prisoners cannot be treated in cruel
and unusual ways; the court has interpreted this
to grant prisoners with rights to many types of
medical treatment.
Moreover, in Timer v. Safley, the court decid
ed that “when a prison regulation impinges on
inmates’ constitutional rights, the regulation is
valid if it is reasonably related to legitimate peno
logical interests.”
Preventing Roe from getting an abortion is
clearly not based on a rationale that is content
neutral and aimed to achieve efficient and safe
prison operation. Thus Roe’s constitutional right
to have an abortion should stand.
It is clear that Roe was denied an abortion be
cause of the personal or philosophical values
held by Missouri officials. However, constitution
law should always trump moral (read: religious)
ideals of whatever government is currently
in power.
As Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers
moves closer to a Senate Judiciary Committee
hearing, the constitutionality of abortions may
become a key question. Should it prove true that
Miers is, as some avidly claim, a sharply reli
gious person with strong emotions against Roe
v. Wade, the Senate should carefully consider
what role she would play in any future abortion
related rulings.
We applaud the court for not reviewing this
obvious case, and we hope it will retain the same
logic should Miers be added to its ranks.
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