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■ Video game review
Game ‘Destroys All Humans’ with
dull play, small array of weapons
Pandemic's take on the genre is often humorous but
with bland missions, the entertainment doesn't last long
BY ANDREW MCCOLLUM
FREELANCE REPORTER
For about 15 minutes, Pandemic’s
latest third-person action game, “De
stroy All Humans!” looks like an inter
esting take on the genre. Unfortunate
ly, after about an hour, players will find
that that it’s a bland game with an
original theme that keeps the game
fresh for only a few minutes.
In “Destroy All Humans!” players
take control of Crypto Sporidium 137,
a vicious alien bent on fulfilling the
game’s title. The Furons, Crypto’s race,
are clones. Early in the game we find
out that the Furons’ DNA has been de
grading and Crypto needs to harvest
DNA from the brainstems of humans
to ensure the survival of his race. In ad
dition to harvesting DNA, Crypto has
been asked to find his predecessor
Crypto Sporidiurn 136, who has crash
landed on Earth.
“Destroy All Humans!” is set in the
1950s, as seen in dozens of B-grade sci
fi movies. The game does a great job of
creating a 1950s atmosphere. It often
pokes fun at era-specific celebrities and
political events. For example, all of
Crypto’s exploits are blamed on com
munists. “Destroy All Humans’!”
sense of humor is possibly its biggest
strength. From the humorous
thoughts that Crypto hears as he is
scanning people’s brains, to the bizarre
conversations Crypto and his boss Pox
have throughout the game, “Destroy
All Humans!” has quite a few mo
ments that will make gamers chuckle.
The game looks great, everything is
smooth, especially Crypto. Pandemic
has done a great job of mimicking
1950s architecture, and the effects for
some of the weapons look phenome
nal. The game’s sound is excellent. The
homicidal Crypto sounds like a gruff
Jack Nicholson, and the game’s music
sounds like it’s straight out of a B movie.
Unfortunately, “Destroy All Hu
mans’!” humor and graphical polish
can’t make up for its mediocre game
play. Crypto is armed with a fairly
small array of weapons, which are
mostly underwhelming. Missions are
bland, they generally involve going
from one point to another on the map,
destroying whatever is there and then
going somewhere else. There are some
stealth missions, but those get stale
quick. The main game should take
about nine hours to beat.
“Destroy All Humans!” is a great
rental, but after a few hours of play it
feels like any other mediocre action
game. If you are looking for a good
action game this summer grab “Mer
cenaries” or “Grand Theft Auto: San
Andreas” instead.
Heads up Penny
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Affordable Apt. Furniture To Go Ide
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The Oregon Daily Emerald
Classifieds is seeking
Classified Sales Assistants
We’re looking for friendly, de
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Applications and job description
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Applications due by 5pm
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Place your classified online, www.dailyemerald.com
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Morning Person?
Make some extra cash!
Deliver the Oregon Daily Emerald
6am-8am, Mon.-Fri. Now hiring for
Fall term. Requires your own relia
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Study ok. Apply in person, Mon.
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Copy Editor - Full-time
Top applicants will have at least two
years experience as a newspaper
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Description and application availa
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ply by Wednesday, July 13. COPY
EDITOR, The Register-Guard, H.R.
Dept., P.O. Box 10188, Eugene, OR
97440-2188. EOE
APPLY NOW! UO Bookstore ac
cepting applications for tall cashiers,
sales and football sportswear con
cessions, and other entry level posi
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Applicants must be availble to work
fall term. $7.25-7.70. EOE. Applica
tion and questionnaire available in
the Bookstore Administrative office
at 895 E. 13th. Applications accept
ed through 9/1.
205 HELP WANTED
Get paid to think.
Make $75 taking online surveys.
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Wild Duck Catering is hiring tempo
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The Office of International Programs
is accepting applications for a com
puter support specialist (student po
sition) to begin immediately. Quali
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computers and have some experi
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working. Applicants should also
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staff, and GTFs. This position is 6
12 hours/wk, $9-10/hr depending on
experience, with the option of con
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http://oip.uoreqon.edu/iss/aDp.pdf
and are due Monday, July 18 by
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tact Jose Bernal at
oiptech @ uoregon.edu