■ Forgotten music
Alternative albums from childhood that actually didnt suck
A "detachable penis" and the triple guitar assault
of Radiohead are just some of the nostalgic highlights
BY RYAN NYBURG
PULSE EDITOR
Sometimes people enjoy revisiting
the music of their childhood, the
sounds from that time when their per
sonality and tastes were forming and
when everything sounded new and
fresh, no matter how cheesy and de
rivative it actually was.
It’s amazing how much the music
we loved as children turned out, in
hindsight, to really suck. But why
don’t we put on the buttless chaps of
nostalgia and go for a stroll into to the
gay nightclub of our childhood (how’s
that for a metaphor?) and look at
some albums from our formative
years that did not suck, or at least
didn’t suck so bad.
First in our trip down alterna-rock
memory lane is The Breeders, a pleas
ant enough collaboration between
second fiddle songwriters from the
Pixies and Throwing Muses, respec
tively. Their album “Last Splash” was
their most substantial piece of work
and contained their sole contribution
to our collective consciousness, the
single “Cannonball." The song is one
of those unfortunate hits that can ruin
an otherwise decent band, dooming it
to the county fair circuit for all eterni
ty. With its instantly catchy and won
derfully bouncy bass line, which
Courtesy
WIdps dlUUllU dll tqudliy
infectious guitar hook, the
song can stick in your
mind like a wad of super
glue and cotton candy. It’s
rhythmic stop-start pro
gression and sudden false
end make it one of the bet
ter singles of the alterna
tive rock era.
Unfortunately, that’s
about it for that album.
While there are a few other
more-than-decent tracks,
much of the album is
bogged down with frag
mented, incomplete ideas
and ponderous, underde
veloped mush. But now,
as then, one song can
Answer the call of
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make it all worthwhile.
Next up is a band equally defined
by a hit song, though not the sort of
song that ends up selling Volkswa
gens. King Missile was an under
ground successes through the late
1980s and early 90s, making a name
for itself with spoken word rants, hu
mor, musical adeptness and literary
sophistication (we are talking relative
to other rock artists here). The band’s
defining moment ended up beipg the
album “Happy Hour” and a little ditty
called “Detachable Penis.” The song is
a rambling monologue told from the
perspective of a man who wakes up to
find his removable meat missing and
wanders around looking for it, feeling
low while his organ is away. With its
distorted groove and melodious back
ing vocals that echo the title over and
over like a perverse religious chant,
the song became a college radio staple
and made the band a novelty favorite,
thus sealing their fate.
There is more to the album than
just the one song, however. A few oth
er choice cuts make the whole thing
worthwhile, such as the short blast of
verbal violence meant as a misdirect
ed homage to Martin Scorsese. But
other than these highlights, it existed
for the “Penis” song.
Next we have a band that managed
to build off its one hit. Radiohead, for a
minute thought to be the Pink Floyd of
its generation before the band decided
to do something more interesting,
made a name for itself with the song
“Creep,” a moody bit of angst that cap
tured the early 90’s Zeitgeist and stran
gled it for all it was worth. While this
song was a little more
indicative of what the
band was heading toward,
the album it came from
was not. “Pablo Honey” is
different from every other
Radiohead album in that it
contains tight, standard
songwriting in a tradition
al rock style. The band
had not yet developed its
love of atmospherics and
instead focused on the
triple guitar assault that it
would perfect on “The
Bends.” The result is a
good enough collection of
Brit-rock that is unfortu
nately overshadowed by
the rest of the band’s
worn, t^reep isn t even
the best song on the album, though
it is up there. Great, anthemic bits
of rock ‘n’ roll such as “Stop Whisper
ing” and “Anyone Can Play Guitar”
showed that the band actually both
ered to master the traditional rock style
before completely deconstructing it.
Cool album.
Finally we have a band that didn’t
really have any big hits in this coun
try, even though their sound helped
define the times. Blur, by 1995, was in
a bitter feud with the more popular
band Oasis. Both were set to release
new albums, Blur with “The Great Es
cape,” Oasis with “(What’s the Story)
Morning Glory?,” around the same
time, and things were looking fierce
when their lead singles came out in
August. The ever-rabid British music
press was hyping the story to high
heaven, and everyone awaited the
sales results to see who would come
out on top. Ultimately, because of an
error with the bar codes on the Oasis
single, Blur was the winner. “Country
House,” one of the best songs the
band ever produced, became a num
ber-one British hit. The album as a
whole didn’t sell as well as “Morning
Glory” in the end (few things do), but
overall it was the better album. It was
better written, better produced
and smarter (not to fault “Morning
Glory” too much). But unfortunately,
it ended up being one of those albums
that was “too English” for these
shores. Shame. It would have made
for some great listening for some
impressionable youths.
ryannyburg@ dailyemerald. com
IN BRIEF
The men who make hits
out of teenage girl novels
The masterminds behind some of
the most popular books for adoles
cent girls are a couple of thirtysome
thing men who work in an average
office building full of white,
Ikea-esque furniture.
But don't underestimate these guys.
They are experts on teen crazes, and
they know their limitations enough to
hire young, female editors to develop
ideas that jive with what a girl wants.
Alloy Entertainment Inc., a divi
sion of marketing and advertising gi
ant Alloy, has developed a slew of hot
book series, including “Gossip Girl,”
“The A-List,” “The Clique” and “The
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants,”
which was made into a hit movie,
and TV's “Roswell.”
Three of its books are in the top 10
of The New York Times list of best
sellers for children's books, and “Trav
eling Pants,” is the No. 1 series.
Alloy Entertainment has a staff in
New York of about 10 editors who dili
gently research what's hot in the teen
world — what girls are wearing, the
music they like, the TV shows
they Tivo.
The hook that many of the novels
have in common is a gaggle of rich,
bratty, powerful schoolgirls. It’s like an
episodic reading of Paris Hilton and
her friends, and who can resist a little
peek into how the privileged live? Oth
ers strive to be more in the Judy Blume
vein, focusing on strong friendships
and life lessons. Either way, teens are
devouring the books.
New version of Etch-A
Sketch comes calling
For doodlers who can’t get enough
etching and sketching at home, Etch
A-Sketch is coming to a cell phone.
The cellular version can’t, of course,
replicate the look and feel of the origi
nal red-and-rectangular plastic toy,
which is still produced by Ohio Art Co.
And users will have to settle for a key
pad rather than white knobs.
But there is one advantage: For the
first time, In-Fusio said, doodlers will
be able to save their drawings — up to
three in the phone’s memory.
On the cellular version, users move
the virtual “stylus” around the phone’s
screen by pressing the number pad or
directional arrows.
One key distinction that Etch-A
Sketch aficionados might mourn is
that erasing a cellular sketch does
not involve the vigorous shaking
needed to recoat the real toy’s
screen with powder.
But In-Fusio has devised an alter
native: When a user presses the “0”
key to erase a drawing, the phone
also vibrates.
—The Associated Press
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