■ Reporter's notebook
Low lighting, variety of gory games feed addiction
Classic and newfangled massive slaughter games make
up for lack of zombies at The Break Pool Hall & Arcade
BY RYAN NYBURG
PULSE EDITOR
Ah, those happy childhood memo
ries of sitting vacant-eyed in front of
the television, my hands in a death
grip over a controller as I blasted my
way through endless streams of digi
tized violence, sending little comput
erized creatures to their untimely de
mise. It was a happy childhood,
marred only by the rare times when
the game system overheated or my
eyes started bleeding.
I have long since given up such a fa
natical addiction to video games, hav
ing thrown myself into a "Diablo 2"
binge with a little too much vigor during
my freshman year, emerging from my
dorm hole days later, dehydrated and
babbling about necromancers.
But like any recovered addict I oc
casionally imagine a relapse and fanta
size about the days of yore, when com
plete mental catharsis could be found
with nothing more than a small plastic
gun and some quarters. It was with this
feeling of nostalgia that I entered The
Break Pool Hall & Arcade, downstairs
in the EMU, on a sunny afternoon and
headed straightforthe arcade, my
pockets full of change and my head
phones blaring a soundtrack of Naked
Raygun and the Damned. Nothing like
listening to an endless loop of
"Surf Combat" to get in the mood for
pixilized blood-letting. The Break Ar
cade is a standard-issue kind of place:
low lighting, plenty of shiny screens to
minimize the chance of human interac
tion, a couple of scattered stools so the
hours of standing won't hinder people's
gameplay, a couple of sweaty guys
staring intensely at an obscure game
from the 1980s, etc. Its most appealing
attribute is the wide variety of games,
ranging from classic to newfangled.
Of course my first stop was "Time
Crisis 3," the latest of the classic
shoot-and-duck series of games.
Mass slaughter and an endless ammo
supply? Gee, Davy, do you think it's
Heaven? My only complaint about the
game is the distinct lack of zombies,
which is something I require out of
any POV shooter. There is truly no
greater pleasure than gunning down
swarms of undead from the safe
haven of a dimly lit arcade.
Also involving a cheap plastic gun,
though less "ducking and hiding"
crap, is "Ranger Mission." This one
has the advantage of using a pump
shotgun as the control, as opposed to
the classic pistol, but also suffers
from the setup of the game, which re
quires you to complete specific sce
narios, ratherthan just shoot every
thing willy-nilly. Also, there is not a
The arcade in
the EMU
Break offers a
video game
'for everyone.
zombie to be found anywhere in sight.
Unfortunately, the only game with
zombies is the cartoonish "CarnEvil,"
which is like a Saturday morning car
toon with blood and guns. So yeah, like
a Saturday morning cartoon. I'm sorry,
but I take my zombies very seriously.
Moving away from the shoot-em-ups,
The Break Arcade also has not one but
two dancing games, "In the Groove"
and "Dance Dance Revolution Ex
treme." These are the games in which
people hop around like automatons
and stare atthe screen with cult-like
devotion as any semblance of original
thought or personality seeps from their
mind and they end up talking and walk
ing like cerebral palsy victims. No of
fense intended.
The arcade also has a fair collec
tion of hand-to-hand fighting games,
"Tekken 4" the best of them. I've al
ways appreciated the "Tekken"
games because they require no
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knowledge of special moves or any
other such pap that never belonged in
a fighting game anyway. If I wanted to
throw fireballs around, I'd go join the
D&D game in the next room. Unfortu
nately, "Tekken" does involve combi
nation moves, which annoy the hell
out of me. Whenever I try them, my
character ends up moving around like
a "Dance Dance” player, if you know
what I mean. Can'ttwo digitized char
acters just beat the tar out of each
other and be on their way?
The game closestto perfection is,
of course, whichever game in the
"Metal Slug" series the arcade cur
rently has installed. Simple, un
adorned violence. No special moves,
no arcane button combinations, no in
sider-only secrets. Just good old
fashioned slash-and-burn gameplay.
Massacre never felt so good.
ryannyburg@dailyemerald.com
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