Oregon Daily Emerald
Thursday, October 7, 2004
“Patience: A minor form of despair,
disguised as a virtue. ”
“The Devil’s Dictionary” by Ambrose Bierce, author/journalist
■ In my opinion
RYAN MURPHEY
MR. SOPHISTICATION
Visualize
democracy
without
dumb voters
With so much at stake in the coming
election, voter mobilization groups such as
Music For America, Punk Voter, No Vote
Left Behind and Campus Activism have
been campaigning fervently to increase
voter turnout.
While I believe strongly in what these
groups are doing, they are completely ignor
ing a much larger issue which, as a mall em
ployee, I am painfully aware of: There are
some Americans who should be aggressive
ly discouraged to vote. I know this sounds
like an extremely anti-democratic statement,
but when you spend your workday selling
shirts with images of dachshunds and a
lewd double-entendre about the owner’s
wiener on the front, it suddenly becomes
very clear that sometimes democracy must
be compromised in order to preserve it.
When determining who should be encour
aged to vote, I realize that there are gray ar
eas. After all, I’m sure that some of Bill O’
Reilly’s viewers just watch because they
think it’s funny when he says “fair” or “ob
jective.” In the interest of avoiding controver
sy, I propose that we focus on those whose
votes are inarguably a clear and present dan
ger to national security.
At Gateway Mall in Springfield there is
a place where you can purchase deep-fried
Twinkies. Before you are allowed to pur
chase one of these, a customer should have
to sign a waiver relinquishing his or her
right to vote. If you think that’s harsh, take
a minute to think about the fact that a
Twinkies is the ultimate junk food loaded
with fat and sugar — essentially a butter
cake filled with vanilla-flavored fat. Now
consider the fact that this miniature loaf of
preservatives and corn syrup is then skew
ered and submerged in a vat of boiling lard.
This kind of decision demonstrates the
same lack of common sense that creates a
market for pleated pants, and how can peo
ple who can’t even make rational decisions
about what they put in or on their bodies be
trusted to shape the future of America? If
you still feel bad for them, just consider the
fact that there is a good chance these people
won’t live long enough to even see the out
come of the election.
Another sector of American society who
should be strongly encouraged to just stay
home and play video games on election day
is the bumper sticker activists. Anyone whose
political or spiritual dogma can be summed
up in a catch phrase should not be allowed to
vote on the color of M&M’s, let alone the lead
ers of the most powerful country in the world.
These are the same people who throw rocks
at war supporters during peace rallies, or
think that they are doing God’s work by wear
ing a “Got Jesus?” T-shirt.
The common theme here is people who
shape their beliefs on clever one-liners and
knee-jerk reactions, and when you ask
them if they really think the United States
Army will ever hold a bake sale to buy
more bombs, they just get confused and
call you close-minded.
MURPHEY, page 15
A Eugene dance group keeps
hopping with regular tours
and local performances
BY NATASHA CHILINGERIAN
SENIOR PULSE REPORTER
While many dance studios around Eu
gene offer hip-hop and jazz classes
for energetic dancers, only one studio
gives dancers the opportunity to spread their
energy outside the country. ZAPP, a 15-year-old
performing company and branch of On Your
Toes School of Dance, emphasizes street and
urban styles and has an accomplished touring
history.
With 27 members between the ages of 16
and 24, ZAPP is the creative invention of On
Your Toes School owner Cindy Zreliak, who
started the company to give dancers more
chances to share their art.
“There wasn’t a big outlet for jazz and hip
hop dancers in Eugene,” she said. “ZAPP grew
out of On Your Toes. We wanted to perform
more than at recitals and competitions.”
ZAPP focuses on jazz and hip-hop styles of
dance, but some of its moves draw from
African and Caribbean styles, among others.
Music choices include songs from bands such
as Outkast and the Dilated Peoples, and cos
tuming generally features athletic and street
styles. The company holds auditions every
year in the late summer for its three categories
of dancers: Seniors, Elites and Graduates.
While all three groups perform regularly
together, the more advanced Elites and
Graduates have the busiest performing
ZAPP, page 15
Tim Bobosky | Photographer
Hanna Harrison has been dancing for four years and is practicing with the rest of the cast of "Strictly Urban
Rhythms Generate Excitement" at the On Your Toes School of Dance in Eugene. SURGE is presented by
Zreliak Artistic Performing Productions.
■ Movie review
'Dirty' film does its best to sex up normalcy
Filmmaker John Waters delivers a convoluted message with his
portrayal of absurd sexual fetishes and seemingly normal characters
BY RYAN NYBURG
PULSE EDITOR
Since his first film, 1964’s “Hag in a Black
Leather Jacket,” John Waters has remained an
enigma to American filmgoers. His movies are
trashy, full of stilted dialogue, absurd
situations and cardboard characterizations. Yet
all of this is done as aesthetic principle. In this
way, Waters has leveled the playing field for au
diences: Since it is no longer a question of
whether his films will be good, all that remains
is to decide whether they are entertaining.
Water’s latest, “A Dirty Shame,” splits the
difference between his early, trashier 1970s
work (“Pink Flamingos,” “Multiple Maniacs”)
and his latter, more polished films (“Cry
Baby,” “Hairspray”). The story involves a
prudish woman (TYacey Ullman) who
receives a concussion and wakes up a sex
addict. She discovers an underground society
of fetishists who, with their Christ-like leader
Ray-Ray (Johnny Knoxville), believe they will
reach a state of grace through the discovery of
a new sex act. Their competition is the
Neuters, a group of outraged citizens
attempting to promote a 1950s form of decen
cy in their neighborhood.
A lot of the trappings of Waters’ work show up
here, particularly his tendency to split moral
issues into absurdly simplistic black-and-white
dichotomies. In “Dirty Shame,” the characters are
either sex addicts or prudes, with no middle
ground. Whether or not Waters is making a joke
by framing the plot this way is open for debate.
Throughout the film, Waters presents a
laundry list of obscure sexual fetishes, ranging
from an attraction to dirt and filth to being
turned on by human sandwiches. (My new, all
time favorite pick-up line: “We hope that one
day you’ll be our lettuce.”) Another ongoing
plot device is having an accidental head trauma
flip a switch, which causes a person to go from
being prudish to being sex-starved, or vice
versa. In a way, this makes the point that sexual
perversion is totally arbitrary and that fetishes
can pop up in just about anybody. They are a
part of everyday life for a wide range of normal
people and are not confined simply to some
fearfully alien other. (By the way, 1 get
academic bonus points for using the word “oth
er” to indicate an outsider. Just so you know.)
But any deep analysis might be giving the film
credit for subtlety it does not possess,
especially when the concussion theme leads to
an extended joke involving David Hasselhoff and
a commercial airplane restroom. On its own, the
mm*
film is entertaining in its absurdity and contains
some pitch-perfect moments. Waters uses a mon
tage of 1950s nudist-colony films to connote
someone’s transformation into a sex addict, and
then religious films for the transformation back
into a Neuter. The film also wouldn’t work
without the interesting collection of novelty hits
and obscure early rock ‘n’ roll cuts. It works as a
reminder of why everyone thought rock was so
sexually charged when it began.
The film did receive an NC-17 rating,
probably due to a few extended scenes of full
frontal nudity. But since the film contains noth
ing along the lines of David Spade being cov
ered in excrement (not that I have anything
against such a turn of events), I think the rating
system might be a little skewed. The film, in
fact, stands above today’s vomit stream of
gross-out comedies — it is trying to make a
point, though in a convoluted sort of way. It
never really gets inside its characters and digs
around. The script lacks an understanding of
the intricate nature of fetishes, the sort of
understanding Luis Bunuel had when he direct
ed “Belle de Jour” (bonus points for reference
of foreign film director). Although the assault is
a bit too blunt for the satire to work, some of
the barbs strike home. And the film is funny, if
for nothing other than its unabashed absurdity.
"A Dirty Shame” opens tomorrow at the Bijou
Arts Cinema.
ryannyburg@ daily emerald, com