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Oregon Daily Emerald
Wednesday, October 6, 2004
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CNN: VICE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE
"WHAT QUALIFIES YOU TO BE A HEARTBEAT AWAY FROM THE VICE PRESIDENCY?"
Dustin Reese | Designer
Where’s the mind candy?
Eugene hung heavy with scents of
hamburger and marijuana, the streets
empty of people, as everyone stuffed
themselves sausage-like in front of
flickering TV sets. It wasn’t “Sur
vivor” or “C.S.I.” they were watching,
but a smackdown of presidential pro
portions. As I wandered the streets, I
heard voices echoing from open win
dows: “Liar!” "Traitor!” and “Damn,
she’d look hot in a bikini! ”
OK, maybe everyone doesn’t
swoon over speeches from our much
derided candidates. Presidential de
bates aren’t exactly must-see-TV, and
it’s much, much easier to wait for the
CliffNotes. The problem is that the
condensed version ignores concrete
issues in favor of fluffy punditry.
1 am sick of analysts trying to force
feed me my opinion. I am sick of an
chors who beat me over the head
with a steakfork in order to make a
point. But what sickens me most are
“experts” pontificating not about
what a candidate said but how
they said it.
Maybe it’s because Bush is suppos
edly a regular guy, a virtuous teddy
bear you’d invite to dinner for some
homemade mac and cheese. Maybe
it’s because reporters have been writ
ing about “the issues” for nine
months and got bored with old an
gles. Maybe Americans are comforted
knowing that even politicians are
poor at public speaking. Whatever the
reason, the story emerging from the
debates isn’t flip-flopping or North
Korean neglect, but whether or not
Bush is an angry white man.
The New York Times sniggered
Friday that Bush’s “body and facial
language (was) sometimes down
right petulant.” Ceci Connolly of The
Washington Post called him a “sour
puss” and declared the President
“looked like he was sucking on a
lemon.” U.S. News & World Report’s
political editor, Roger Simon, ac
cused Bush of making Thursday’s
JENNIFER MCBRIDE
QUASHING DISSENT
exhibition “the scowl and growl de
bate.” Bush was so appalling,
Howard Wolfson, Democratic strate
gist, put together a montage of
Bush’s facial expressions for re
porters. It’s called “Faces of Frustra
tion,” and he promises “at the end
... you will say, ‘Yup, it’s the smirk,
that’s the story of the debate.’ ”
After viewing it, all 1 can say is that
it’s a Greek tragedy ... with podiums.
If you want to view this masterpiece
of quality cinema, it’s featured promi
nently on Democrats.org, because
God forbid the two major parties ac
tually talk about issues. That
would be informative, and giving
Americans information is a dangerous
thing to do.
The Bush campaign shares my
frustration with media superficiality.
Nicholle Devenish, Bush’s campaign
communications director, snipped:
“We made the arguments about (Ker
ry’s) credibility gap, but people were
swooning over the Clintonista spin
machine — they saw that they had a
better chance of winning on style
points than substance.”
If it seems hypocritical for Republi
cans to whine after “the sigh heard
around the world,” you’re being un
patriotic and should desist question
ing immediately. It’s important to
note that media obsession with nu
ances of body language is hardly new.
An original lead by former Vice Presi
dent Gore in post-debate polling fiz
zled after a deluge of press focused, in
the words of columnist Paul Krug
man, on “Mr. Gore’s sighs, (not) Mr.
Bush's lies.”
The spin-war of Coral Gables
struck me with a stinging case of deja
vu. Right after Thursday’s debates,
CNN reported 53 percent of those
polled thought Kerry had won, while
37 percent backed Bush. By Sunday,
Newsweek put the gap at 61 percent
favoring Kerry as opposed to 19 per
cent Bush. This vast shift proves the
power of the bully pulpit. When a
race is sneeze-close, it’s disgusting to
see networks giving more airtime to
candidates’ leather-clad stunts on
Harleys than to their stance on Sudan.
Gimmicks such as “Faces” should
n’t have the slightest sliver of influ
ence on anybody’s opinion. This isn’t
a decision that should be based on li
ability or media sizzle — a President
won’t take you to prom or tackle you
in the back seat of his ‘96 Chevy.
Bush and Kerry could make fishfaces
at the camera, cross-dressed, while
doing the can-can, and I wouldn’t
care less. If 1 think a candidate is good
for the country, I'll vote for him, even
if he’s so annoying I want to stuff his
intestines full of spicy mustard, then
nail his twitching body to a wall.
Despite my reservations, the ana
lyst armies march swiftly forward. Ex
perts say Bush’s anger-holism set
massive expectations for yesterday’s
veep event. Jonathan Sallet, Joe
Lieberman’s old debate manager, said
pre-debate: “Cheney can’t afford to
act in a way that would contribute to
a belief that the Republican ticket is a
bunch of angry guys.” Because
whether a man can keep his temper
on television is far more important
then what happened during the past
four years he’s been in office.
If this is what politics is devolving
to, I’ll have to start channel surfing for
those hot bikini women. At least then
I’d get some eye candy.
jennifermcbride@dailyememld.com
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■ Editorial
Rage against
the spin
machine
The public’s perception of who wins a
debate is often shaped by the media’s post
debate coverage rather than by the debate
itself. After President Bush’s dismal showing
in the polls following last week’s debate,
Bush’s campaign operatives sent letters to
supporters urging them to defeat the “Kerry
campaign spin machine.” The Democrats
countered by telling supporters to double
their spinning efforts.
After watching last night’s debate between
V.P. Dick Cheney and Sen. John Edwards, we
thought we would help the two campaigns. Be
cause if there is one thing we know how to do
here at the Emerald, it’s spin a story.
Talking points for Republicans:
1. Sure, Americans are 90 percent of Coali
tion casualties, but if you add Iraqi security
deaths, we are only 50 percent. And if you add
the number of Iraqi civilians we’ve killed,
Americans are only 10 percent of casualties. If
that’s not a strong Coalition, we don’t know
what is. And let’s not forget Poland (who has
decided to pull out of Iraq since the
President pointed out their cooperation in the
first debate).
2. The vice president has never insinuated
that there was a connection between Saddam
bin Laden, I mean, Osama bin Hussein and
Sept. 11. We couldn’t be clearer: There was nev
er not a non-connection between Sept. 11 and
Saddama bin Husladen and his terror camps in
Iraqiranistan.
3. The senator has his facts all wrong. Iraq
and Afghanistan are free and peaceful. Ameri
cans all have jobs and are perfectly healthy. Ed
wards’ pessimism is a smoke screen, a big-time
trial lawyer trick to obscure the fact that he is a
piece of shit.
4. Edwards certainly didn’t look more hand
some than Cheney and anyone who thinks so
is obviously completely gay.
Talking points for Democrats:
1. Edwards said we have spent $200 billion
and counting on the war in Iraq. Sure, Sen.
John Kerry was exposed for this misstatement
during the first debate, and the correct figure is
really $120 billion, but we are sticking to the lie.
Now who is a flip-flopper?
2. Kerry and Edwards never flip-flopped on
the war. As we know, Sept. 11 was a tragic day
that changed the world and caused all of us, in
cluding the President, to reevaluate our beliefs.
For Kerry and Edwards, Oct. 25 was also a trag
ic day that changed the world. So was Nov. 9,
Dec. 2, Dec. 3 ...
3. Edwards promised to internationalize the
war. Countries from across the planet would
rush to send their people to die in Iraq if Kerry
asked them to because, uh ... Vietnam?
4. Cheney voted against Martin Luther King
Day, Meals-on-Wheels and freeing Nelson
Mandela. He also voted against ending slavery
and the creation of fire.
Blunder of the night:
During last night’s debate, Dick Cheney
was defending Halliburton when he said,
“They know that if you go, for example,
to factcheck.com ... you can get the specific
details.”
Cheney meant to say factcheck.org. If any
one took Cheney on his word and went to
factcheck.com, they were transferred to
www.georgesoros.com, the Web site of billion
aire and John Kerry supporter George Soros.
The Web site is titled: “Why We Must Not Re
Elect President Bush.”
You just can’t make this stuff up.