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E-mail: editor@dailyemerald.com
Online: www.dailyemerald.com
Tuesday, June 1, 2004
Oregon Daily Emerald
COMMENTARY
___
Editor in Chief:
Brad Schmidt
Managing Editor:
Jan Tobias Montry
Editorial Editor:
Travis Willse
e: 01X0 RIAL.
& smacks
Quacks to the students and community members
searching for missing Brigham Young University student
Brooke Wilberger, who disappeared in Corvallis last week.
Though it's unfortunate that the community isn't unified
under better circumstances, its dedication is an admirable
expression of human altruism.
Smacks to some of the students in the audience at the
recent Smoker event. Leave it to the greek community to
put on a well-intentioned fund-raiser where students can
pay to watch other students duke it out — in the ring and in
the crowd. That's right. At a charity boxing event, students
— presumably from rival fraternities, those ruffians —
couldn't keep their hands to themselves. Children, behave!
Quacks to the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals for rul
ing that the Bush administration cannot interfere with Ore
gon's assisted suicide law: No matter how you feel about
doctor-assisted suicide, it's an important victory for states'
rights and self-government. (Oregon voters affirmed the
state's 1994 Death with Dignity Act by a wide margin three
years after its initial approval.)
Smacks to the Saudi Arabian gunmen who killed 22
people in the city of Khobar. As if that wasn't bad enough,
they threatened to kill 242 more people they were using as
human shields.
Quacks to
graduating
seniors. After p M Wd
four years (or
three or five
or she or... )
of h ard work, .... ...
you've finally made it.
Smacks to the flagging (but admittedly improving), 5.6
percent-unemployment-rate economy that those seniors
now have to try to find a job in.
Quacks to state Gov. Ted Kulongoski asking President
Bush for help relieving Oregon gas prices. Paying $2,399
per gallon for regular unleaded gas is a poor fiscal arrange
ment for poor college students. (Oh, and the rest of the
drivers in the state might benefit, too.)
Smacks to professors who assign a lot of work this week
— it's called "Dead Week" for a reason. It isn't to leave your
students emaciated husks of underslept, overcaffeinated
humans before their biggest tests of the term.
Quacks to all those who traveled to cemeteries or other
wise recognized Memorial Day. Citizens ought to remem
ber, too, that there are 364 other days in the year to re
member the contributions of those that have given their
lives for their country.
Smacks to President Bush for keeping Saddam Hussein's
personal pistol in a small study at the White House. The
timing is ill for showboating, and the piece belongs in the
Smithsonian, and, eventually, an Iraqi museum.
Quacks to the opening of the promenade by the art mu
seum. Students can now travel between classes with greater
ease, and it's nice to see that the art museum is nearing its
reopening.
Smacks, though, to the art museum taking four years to
be completed. The open house aside, students in the class
of'04 who took four years to graduate will never have had
the chance to visit the art museum while taking classes
here.
ONLINE POLL
Each week, the Emerald runs an online poll and publishes the
results, along with next week’s question, in this space.
Visit http://www.dailyemerald.com to vote.
Last question: This week the greek community is sponsoring
their annual boxing fund-raiser. Do you feel that boxing is an
acceptable fund-raiser for the Boys & Girls Clubs of America?
Results: 42 votes.
• Yes - Boxing is fun entertainment: 30.9 percent or 13 votes
• No - Surely the greek community could come up with
something more interesting and entertaining: 28.6 percent or
12 votes.
• Yes - Any fund-raiser for a worthy cause is worthwhile: 28.6
percent or 12 votes.
• No - It’s promoting violence: 11.9 percent or five votes.
This week: Need help getting through the term? What’s your
Dead Week drug of choice?
Choices: Booze; Caffeine; Exercise; Food; Illegal drugs;
NiQqtipp- Prp$QriptiQn drpg:?., x v.,, x % % „_.,,, *,,
J
.
Emerald columnists aim to answer the age-old question of collegiate athletics:
Which sport is better, basketball or football?
AUTZEN POWER
The outlook was grim.
We had no food and barely any protection from the driving rain.
Our communication lines were broken. We were forced to stay on
our feet for 12 hours straight.
A camping trip gone wrong? A kidnapping?
Nope.
Civil War tickets.
From the first day
of freshman year to
my last few steps as a
college student in,
wow, a week and a
half, football has
been the thing. I
know Marissa Jones
is going to come in
here with her
thrilling finishes and
her March Madness, but football is Oregon's game. And football will
always be the sport of students.
After all, is there anything that defines the college experience more
than a beer, a barbecue, a flask and a football game? Is there any
thing that screams college more than getting to Autzen one hour be
fore kickoff and still, somehow, getting seats halfway up the student
section? And so close to a drunk guy that you can smell his brand of
bourbon?
I don't know the longest I ever stood in line for basketball tickets,
but I can tell you the exact amount of time it took to get Civil War
tickets in 2001. It took 12 hours and 35 minutes. It took me that long
to get a four-inch by one-inch piece of paper. But that was the golden
ticket to Willy Wonka's: Ducks and Beavers, two weeks later.
There is no rivalry like the Civil War in football. In basketball?
Please. Oregon State couldn't mop Oregon's lockers. But in football,
the teams clash like titans. In 2000 and 2001, Civil War wins by the
Beavers and Ducks, respectively, put the teams in theTostitos Fiesta
Bowl.
Ahhh, the Fiesta Bowl. Remember? Everybody in the universe,
and that includes the sports writers on Jupiter, were pounding the
NCAA for the BCS computer system, which put far-inferior Nebraska
into the national title game against Miami. Everybody thought Ore
gon should've been in that Rose Bowl game instead of snacking on
chips in Arizona.
They were right.
Oregon drubbed Colorado. Sarnie Parker caught a touchdown
right in front of us in the student section. Maurice Morris spun like a
top right over a defender in the most outlandish football play I've
ever seen. But the best part was when they gave out free Tostitos and
dip to everyone in the stadium. No joke.
The year before it was the Holiday Bowl. In all, the Ducks went to
five bowls in the five seasons I watched.
But take away that success, and football is still the game of cham
pions. The bowls were just a bonus.
Football is an initiation for most students. I went to a game at
Autzen Stadium before I ever set foot in a classroom. It was Oregon's
triple-overtime thriller against USC, the one where A J. Feeley threw a
bomb for a touchdown in the dying secbnds to send the game into
overtime. I hugged the guy I went to the game with, somebody from
Peter Hockaday
Today is Hockaday
Turn to HOCKADAY, page 3
MAC ATTACK
Which is better? Duck football or basketball? Tough call. Or is
it?
Oh yes, as a freshman I thought there was no sports arena bet
ter than Autzen Stadium, a large mound of dirt with a football
stadium inside. Of course that all changed when they started
landscaping the
side of the
mound, building ^
skyboxes and
pushing student
pre-season seats
toward the end
zone. Those first
years I could
storm the field,
but now there's a
"moat" separat
ing the students
from the field, just to make sure they keep their distance.
Now compare that to Mac Court. Sure, the basket doesn't
shake as much as it used to, but at least they didn't add a wall be
tween the court and the students. Nope. In fact you're so close
to the action that you can still get hit in the face with the peanuts
Phil Knight throws at the students. You and Phil are practically
sitting in the same seat and you know your student incidental
fees aren't costing you as much as Phil's courtside seat is costing
him.
It's the common man's arena. The second-oldest in the coun
try. You take your life in your hands just being there, and if you
want to get a seat in the front you only have to be smashed and
pummeled for about 30 feet at Autzen you have to trek up some
inclines, only to have to race down the steps back to field level.
But basketball isn't superior to football just because of the are
na. No, what about the overall fan experience, including the half
time show? While I'm sure the OMB's rendition of "Earth, Wind
and Fire" moved many of us to tears, they've got nothing on
those unicyde kids. That is some pure talent. Or what about the
juggling kids? Any time we can label a child playing with sharp
knives as entertainment is pretty exciting.
And what about the marketing games for fans? I seem to re
member at the football game something about trying to throw a
Frisbee so that it lands inside the "O." Whatever the object of the
game was, it doesn't matter. It was lame Compare that with the
Pepsi Shootout This year not only did two girls win — maybe
with a granny shot or two — but there were the two guys, each
with a broken arm, who managed to hit more threes than the
team with four able arms. That's good stuff. And let's not forget
Bingo.
And what about the marketing slogans for each team? I can
stomach "Luke Both Ways" a little easier than "Big Fun." I'm not
even sure what that means. I guess it sort of summarizes the year
for Duck football, since a felon joined the team and Junior Siavii
was arrested for allegedly committing battery assault Oh yes, that
is some "BigFun!"
Of course the basketball team has always been a lot tamer,
speaking at Young Life events and whatnot. Sure, Donald at
tacked another mascot one time, but hey, that's what happens
Marissa Jones
Cry me a river
Turn to JONES, page 3