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E-mail: editor@dailyemerald.com
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Tuesday, May 4,2004
Oregon Daily Emerald
COMMENTARY
Editor in Chief
Brad Schmidt
Managing Editor:
Jan Tobias Montry
Editorial Editor:
Travis Willse
E EDITORIAL.
Lane County
direly needs
more funds
Now that the month of May has rolled around once
again, Oregonians can expert to see more petty criminals
running just out of reach of the law's long arm.
Well, it used to be long, anyway.
These days, the budget tragedy in this state has reached
such dire proportions that the Lane County District At
torney's office can't afford to charge suspected perpetra
tors of certain crimes.
In a $270,000 money-saving effort, prosecutors will
cease to pursue some 102 types of nonviolent misde
meanors in about 2,000 cases, including theft under
$750. In further cost-cutting measures, District Attorney
Doug Harcleroad said his office will also cease prosecu
tion of about 1,000 drug felony cases and 650 nonvio
lent felony cases.
Included in the crimes that won't be prosecuted are
prostitution, credit card fraud and physical harassment.
An unfortunate byproduct following years of gross
mismanagement of taxpayer money on the part of local
agencies? Perhaps, but the cuts are currently needed to
meet 9 percent across-the-board cuts, which will com
pensate for a $4.1 million shortfall in the county.
Oh, but never fear! The local police will still be arrest
ing people. Those people just won't be charged with any
thing. As Harcleroad conceded in a memo to courts and
police, the reductions are "a blow to public safety in Lane
County." We wholeheartedly agree and hope public offi
cials can crunch some numbers and find a solution to
the whole mess.
Meanwhile, upstate, prisoners at Oregon State Correc
tional Institution are having flat-screen televisions in
stalled into their cells. A recent Associated Press story fea
tures Nicholas Krahmer, a prisoner who was convicted
of assault with a knife, kicking back on his bunk and en
joying his $300 flatscreen television.
Krahmer bought the television using money he earned
computer drafting in the prison, where he made a few
dollars per day. After what was sure to be many, many
excruciating weeks of working for a hilariously low wage,
Krahmer saved enough — and maintained a clear record
— to buy the television for his cell.
Here's an idea: Use their money to pay for more con
victions in Lane County! Given, the prisoners earned
that money fair and square, but those are the breaks, as
the saying goes.
Or, better yet, instead of Krahmer working in computer
drafting at the prison, why not give him a go at prosecut
ing? Surely the man has had enough exposure to Court TV
in his cell to understand at least the most basic tenants of
trying a criminal, right?
EDITORIAL POLICY
This editorial represents the opinion of the Emerald
editorial board. Responses can be sent to letters
@dailyemerald.com. Letters to the editor and guest
commentaries are encouraged. Letters are limited
to 250 words and guest commentaries to 550 words.
Authors are limited to one submission per calendar
month. Submission must include phone number and
;: address for verification. The Emerald reserves the right
to edit for space, grammar and style.
EDITORIAL BOARD
Jan Tobias Montry
Managing Editor
Ayisha Yahya
Mews Editor
Travis Wallse
Editorial Editor
Jennifer Sudick
Freelance Editor
« « 4 i / i i J i 'i i if*JL'± 'A ~J.
Eric Layton Illustrator
Only skin deep
I need a makeover.
I'm not talking about one of those pansy
salon makeovers, with the manicure and
the pedicure. I'm talking scalpels. I'm talk
ing plastic surgery. I'm talking liposuction.
I need an extreme makeover.
My television box told me so. MTV told
me "I Want a Famous Face." FOX told me
to be "The Swan." And, of course, ABC
told me to get that "Extreme Makeover."
America is obsessed with this new,
twisted brand of reality television. "The
Swan" is a ratings hit for FOX. It takes ugly
women, makes them over extreme-style,
and enters them into a beauty pageant in
the final episode. This past week it was the
network's third-highest-rated show, be
hind only "American Idol" and "24."
For America, these television shows of
fer the ultimate rags-to-riches tale. It's Cin
derella in prime time. With scalpels.
The worst of the batch, by far, is "I Want
a Famous Face " Thankfully, the show is no
longer on the air. But when it was on, it
was gnarly. Really gnarly. The show's sub
jects all wanted to resculpt their bodies so
they could look like a pop singer or a hot
actor. MTV claimed to be "documenting a
phenomenon."
And document they did. Blood flew.
Lines were drawn on various body parts.
Boobs were lifted. It was horrendous. I
couldn't look. It got to the point where if I
saw the show's logo, even if it was a com
mercial, I had to change it. Even C-SPAN
would be better.
One of the famous subjects was Kate
Winslet. "Jennette" from Florida wanted to
look like the British actress, who isn't even
hot, in my humble opinion. But that's a
different story. Jennette got her tummy
tucked and her boobs lifted.
"I would do the whole thing over in a
heartbeat," Jennette told MTV.com after
the show. "I can't even begin to tell you
how worth it, the whole surgery, was."
Peter Hockaday
Today is Hockaday
Winslet, though, wouldn't do it over in a
heartbeat after watching the show. She told
the London Times she felt obligated to
watch. Imagine watching somebody endure
severe pain in order to have your tummy.
Kate Winslet knows what that's all about.
"I just felt so powerless," Winslet told the
London paper. "I certainly don't have breasts
like the ones she ended up with. Trust me.
She had slabs of her stomach taken out. Li
posuction ! What the f— is going on?"
Exactly. What is going on? Why would
people torture themselves medieval-style
just to look like Brad Pitt or Jennifer
Lopez? Why would people endure surgery
and weeks in the hospital to look a little
better? What happened to inner beauty?
People say that "Extreme Makeover" is *
acceptable because the people on that
show are Hunchback-of-Notre-Dame ugly.
They're can't-go-outside ugly. Obviously,
I'm beautiful, so I don't know about that
kind of ugliness. That was a joke.
But in a perfect world, looks shouldn't
matter. Heck, even Quasimodo gets the girl
in the end. Sort of. So why can't people just
be happy with where they are? So you're
ugly. You don't look like Jennifer Aniston or
Andy Roddick. So what? Get over it.
I guess I'm just idealistic. These
makeover shows crush my ideals. So I'm
going to go on "The Swan" and I'm going
to beat the skirts off those girls. I think I
would look good as any woman.
How about that for a makeover?
Contact the columnist
at peterhockaday@dailyemerald.com.
His opinions do not necessarily
represent those of the Emerald.
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
Editorial gave false
impression of USSAtrip
This letter is in response to a recent edito
rial ("Student Senate could be new reality TV
show," ODE, April 14), which claimed that
the United States Student Association's trip
to Washington D.C. was a waste of money,
and that the "chance of USSA students
bringing meaningful, tangible benefits to
the University (is) 1 percent." In this situa
tion, the Editorial Board is simply wrong.
Firstly, this column gives a false impression
to readers by failing to fully explain the
Ci'i i i Jl 'l a 4
USSA's conference This editorial makes it ap
pear that Melton and the others were treated
to a five-star vacation. Absolutely not In real
ity, this seminar included workshops on be
coming allies to different communities, and
concrete promises were received from mem
bers of Congress for funding higher educa
tion. By giving readers an incomplete story,
the Editorial Board showed its lack of support
for alliances towards minority students, and
are uninformed about the pledges of congres
sional representatives.
Furthermore, in this same editorial, the
editors once more failed to properly ana
lyze a delicate situation with the issue of
ASUO Vice President Eddy Morales'
assertion of racial discrimination during a
Senate meeting. According to this editori
al, because Morales' claim was not neces
sarily agreed on by all Senate members, in
the future he "should just keep his mouth
shut." Although I am not a racial minori
ty, I can only hope that all people would
choose to voice an issue of possible dis
crimination, especially if related to my ac
tions, instead of "keeping their mouths
shut" in order to avoid disturbing a mem
ber of the ODE editorial board.
Ailee Slater
freshman
English