Long-distance relationships
can be worth inconvenience
A couples’ counselor says
trust, openness and good
communication skills help
keep relationships strong
By Ashley Griffin
Freelance Reporter
Phone "dates," lengthy e-mails and
quick weekend visits can be the cor
nerstone of long-distance relation
ships for students. Along with exams,
late nights and social events, distance
has been known to test the strength of
many relationships.
"It's divine intervention," sopho
more Kim Beeson said.
Beeson and her boyfriend, Reid
Holzknecht, have been in a long-dis
tance relationship for more than a year.
"We were kind of forced into it be
cause we weren't going to the same col
lege, but we knew we wanted to stay to
gether, "she said.
Sophomore Jenna Sutton said the
choice to date long-distance usually
happens without warning. She and
her boyfriend, Aaron Audet, were
friends during high school and began
their romance shortly before fresh
man year. After she left for school,
they missed each other and decided
to try a long-distance relationship.
Even though both relationships were
a bit unexpected, both couples agreed
the benefits outweigh the costs.
"It is worth it virtually all of the
time," Sutton said. "Even though the
long-distance relationship is a lot of
work, it is also very fulfilling. I'm a
much happier person with Aaron in
my life, even if we don't physically get
to see each other."
As Sutton said, maintaining a long
distance relationship can be difficult.
"The hardest part is not knowing
when you are going to see each other
next because of conflicting schedules
and the cost" she said.
A love life that consists almost entire
ly of phone conversations and writing
e-mails can strain relationships on a
day-to-day basis.
"It is difficult not being a part of each
others' everyday life," Beeson said. "You
wish they could experience the same
things as you, like the funny things that
happen during your day that they
might like, and they aren't there."
Many individuals maintain long-dis
tance relationships with the eventual
goal of relocating together. Sophomores
Shannon Gilman and Matt Rettke
Courtesy
Sophomore Jenna Sutton said she and her boyfriend, Aaron Audet, began dating before
leavingfor college. "I’m a much happier person with Aaron in my life," Sutton said.
dated long-distance last year until Rettke
transferred to the University this fall.
"When we started dating,
we knew we were just
college freshmen. Our
agreement was if we
change while we are apart
and still grow together as
people then it's meant to
be. If we change and
grow apart then we know
we're not meant to be."
Shannon Gilman
sophomore
Gilman said they lasted because they
communicated their future plans well.
"When we started dating, we knew
we were just college freshmen," Gilman
said. "Our agreement was if we change
while we are apart and still grow to
gether as people then it's meant to be.
If we change and grow apart then we
know we're not meant to be"
Couples Counseling relationship
counselor Cristi Cubito agreed with
Gilman. Cubito said she feels a long
distance relationship can be a founda
tion for a healthy relationship because
people have to learn to communicate
well and honestly.
"It would be very important for them
to learn communication skills," Cubito
said, 'they're really going to need to lis
ten to each other in the most loving
way possible."
She added that mutual respect and
good self-esteem are key to successful
long-distance relationships.
"It is about being able to talk about
what you're really thinking and feeling
and being able to be totally honest with
your partner, * she said.
Beeson shared similar sentiments
about open communication within a
long-distance relationship.
"Make sure you are on the same page
and want the same thing," Beeson said.
"Realize it's gonna take more effort than
seeing each other every day. And trust
them! And be trustworthy."
Ashley Griffin is a freelance reporter
for the Emerald.
Feb. 14: A day for humiliation,
heartbreak, forged valentines
An elementary-school upset
translates into modern-day
distrust and maybe recovery
By Beth Naidis
Freelance Reporter
Carrying my plastic Safeway bag, I
rushed into Mrs. Curtis' fifth-grade class
room and sat down as quickly as possi
_ ble. The day
REPORTER'S Sto
ed its cubbies
_ with heart
and Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles stickers, which
nicely accentuated our name tags.
As soon as Mrs. Curtis let us, we
sprinted to our cubbies to sift through
our Valentines. 1 was looking for one in
particular. 1 had a crush on a boy in the
next-door class whom, to protect my
pride, I will call Max.
Then I found' it. Not an- ordinary,
pink and purple cartoorvCcJvered flimsy
paperboard Valentine, but an envelope
This white envelope had my name, in
distinctive boy's handwriting, uneven
ly scribbled on the front.
I opened it immediately, and to my
awe the words 'To Beth, will you be my
Valentine?" appeared. Pausing for a
minute to catch my breath, I glanced
around the room. I hastily gathered my
friends into the reading comer and told
them my news. By the time our class
got to go to recess, the story had not
only traveled through Mrs. Curtis'
room, but to Mrs. Krakow's fifth-grade
class next door.
Two hours later, as I was playing the
Oregon Trail game in the computer
room, I saw my crush's friend. He start
ed telling me in front of everyone in the
class that Max didn't write me the
valentine, he did.
"It was just a joke Beth, I didn't
think you'd take it seriously," he said.
I know not everyone's childhood
Valentine's Day memories involve
heartbreak and utter humiliation, but
my most vivid Valentine's Day memo
ry does.
Not all of my Valentine's Days have
left me with such negative memories.
I remember making big red construc
tion-paper cards decorated in silver
glitter for my parents and hoping to
win the Valentine's Day cakewalk. I
would revel in the joys of Valentine's
Day bingo, a game I regularly won,
and wait in anticipation to enjoy the
vanilla cupcakes with three inches of
pink frosting and sprinkles on top —
the ones my parents would never buy.
But I have remained bitter. It's not
that I don't appreciate the cards, the
candy and an occasional game of bin
go. I just can't trust the sincerity of
Valentine's cards. So, nearly a decade
later, I hope I'll finally be able to enjoy
Feb. 14 for the candy-eating, pink and
red, sparkly, love-filled day that it is.
Beth Naidis is a freelance
reporter for the Emerald.
Her opinions do not necessarily
represent those of the Emerald. ' '
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