It's revolution time, babv
It's about time we had a cultural rev
olution in this country. Not just some
change in mass artistic preferences or
some new aesthetic sensibility, be
cause none of that ever has any effect
in the long run. In the end, it just gets
co-opted by advertising and market
ing executives, and faster than you can
say "8-27 year old demographic"
we're back to where we started.
What I have in mind is more along
the lines of an actual blood n' guts
revolution, featuring barricades, riots
and executions. Imagine CDs from
"American Idol" winners, videos of
"reality" television shows and the col
lected works of Nora Roberts all burn
ing together in the brilliant red flames
of the righteous — a marvelous bon
fire of the vanities rivaling anything lit
by the hands of God. If you smile at
that image, you may have some
inkling of my vision.
I guess I've always been a bit of a
revolutionary at the core. Give me a ri
fle, some torches and a few propagan
da posters and I couldn't be happier.
I'll go on spreading the word to the
masses and inciting violence against
the establishment with a twinkle in
my eye and a song on my lips. I'll be
whistling a cheerful old ditty while
spreading terror through the hearts of
my enemies.
I can almost envision the utopia
that I may one day be blessed to wit
ness. A world of joy and happiness,
without the money-grubbing enter
tainment industries polluting our cul
ture. Television will be programmed
based on quality rather than market
ing demographics. Airing commer
cials in a theater before a movie will
be punishable by decapitation. It will
be a world of peace and moral values.
After the genocide, of course.
You didn't think there would be
genocide? Of course there would be
genocide. We just need to work out
which people go up against the wall
and get a 21-gun salute aimed at their
heads. There are too many fevered
Eric Lavton Illustrator
egos in this society, and too many of
them have taken control of our cul
ture. I think it s time to get active
about it. Of course we could just
change our buying habits, teach our
selves about art and try to make
change with moderation and ration
Ryan Nyburg
Budget rack
ality. But to hell with moderation
and rationality — I want bloodshed!
The music of all these blonde
nymphets has driven me to it. The
mere existence and popularity of
someone like Clay Aiken has pushed
me over the edge of sanity into the
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deep, dark abyss beyond.
On that note, I think the music
industry ought to be the first to go,
since it stands as the perfect example
of how an art form can be corrupted
for profit. You can no longer sit on a
street corner and play the banjo for
loose change without being sued by
the Recording Industry Association of
America for covering "Enter Sand
man" by Metallica. We need to make
music humble again; take it back to
the days before all these musicians
and their record companies formed
bleedin' messiah complexes.
But if you want to talk about
fevered egos, look no further than
the American film industry. From
the studios to the actors to the direc
tors to the caterers, it consists of
nothing but self-important, conde
scending, ovgr-paid profiteers turn
ing a great art form into nothing
more than an advertising medium.
So of course they are all deserving of
death in my eyes. If an actor does
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